Omar (ex Andrey)
toLive&DieForAllah!
Salam Alleykum brothers & sisters!
I'm a very lucky person - I've been given 2 chances to be a muslim. So I'd like to share my story with everyone else in this forum.
1) I've grown in a Jewish family - or at least 3/4 jewish as my mom is half Russian. My dad used to read me the old testament all my childhood. But there's never been a link between a link between faith and his way of life - it was just a kind of a legend, a story that is mythology that is a part of Jewish people. I've never accepted this as religion. Besides I've never liked this "chosen people" idea as I never liked arrogance & always thought that we are what we are but not our roots, promotions, family status, etc. I remember a family story that there was a rabbi who is sitting in the market praying & at the same time is dealing rabbit skins (or some other animal). He is praying, at the same time examining skins & then he exclaims "this one is spoilt!", swears, & then keeps on praying again. & this was considered to be normal!!! So I never treated Judaism seriously...
2) In time I forgot all these stories. I grew in a very perverted atheistic society with remnants of communism idolatry (worshiping Lenin, Stalin & communist party) mixed with new, materialistic Western mentality. The idea was to get most out of life either in money or in status, power, etc. I've always been an outcast as I never valued all this. I thought I was born for something special not for accumulating wealth, possessions, status, etc.
3) There was a time when I turned to Christianity - but then again it didn't answer my questions. "the ways of God are strange" - was not enough for me!!! I didn't understand this "holy trinity", I couldn't understand why Jesus has paid for all the sins - it didn't make any sense at all. I had big dreams in 4 spheres of life - family (wanted to meet an ideal soul-mate), music (wanted to be a rock-star), bodybuilding (wanted to win big competitions) & UK (wanted to move there). I failed everywhere despite seemingly very high results in each of these spheres (i.e. I could speak English with no foreign accent, lift 200kg or be a good keyboard player in a local band) . I got depressed, I lagged behind, I despised myself. Moreover, I started to be afraid of getting old. I didn't want to wake up in the mornings. This was a total dead-end.
4) It was the 1st of May. On the 7th of May 2003 I was going to be 26. I was thinking of ending my life before my birthday. I could see no light in the end of the tunnel... Then I met an old friend of mine. An Egyptian whose name is Islam. We used to be close friends before & then he left for Australia for a few years. He used to be very far from religion - had multiple love affairs, borrowed money & dealt with criminals. But he was very different this time. He was calm, said he is married & has got a child, then he looked at me & asked "what's wrong with you". I tried to explain. He said "you lack God in your life". & he gave me literature. Harun Yahya.
5) Istarted reading - it was a revelation. Every possible question answered! Atheism crashed, politheism defeated - existance of Allah was crystal clear to me. It was a spring, renaissance, a new life!!! My life suddenly got all the meaning - I knew what I was born for!!!!! A couple of weeks later Islam took me to a mosque, then took me to Imam & said that I wanted to become a muslim. I was afraid & said I wasn't ready. the imam smiled & asked me: "Do you believe there's one God?" - I said "of course!" then he said "do you believe that Muhammad s.a.w.s is the last prohet?" I said I was sure of that too. Then he said: "Do you believe there are angels, & there were prophets before Muhammad such as Musa, Isa, Ibrahim, etc?" I said "YES, OF COURSE!" Then he looked at me, smiled & said "You are already a Muslim!" then I said "Ash hadu Allah..." & my new life has begun.
6) I was absolutelty sure that there's one God & that Islam is the only way but yet I was carried away with everyday life too. Next year I got married, I maintained my Islam for 2 more years & then I started to stray away again. I started going into professional bodybuilding which is an absolute haram, because it makes people idolise body & turnes them into arrogant self-admirors. I didn't fast saying that I had gastritus (whereas the real reason was bodybuilding), I didn't pray in time, & later started praying sitting on a chair as I left prayers to the very end of the day & I became very negligent in Islam. I won't go further on - I just say that I did take part in competitions, I lost my wife for a casual affair with a superficial girl. I tried to find solutions in phychiological training which combined "survival of the fittest", eastern philosophies, etc. I lost hope...
7) I can't remeber how I got to Islam again, but a week before this Ramadan I was as strong in Islam as I was the first months & then I started fasting - for the first time in my life. & each day made me staronger & stronger. I'm far from an ideal Muslim now, but Alhamdulilah I behave as a Muslim publically , can pray openly with strangers watching & see Islam as the ONLY way in life. I've already told many people about it - people that I thought I never would. Each hour & each day my Iman grows stronger & insha Allah I'll never step out of this was again!
I'm a very lucky person - I've been given 2 chances to be a muslim. So I'd like to share my story with everyone else in this forum.
1) I've grown in a Jewish family - or at least 3/4 jewish as my mom is half Russian. My dad used to read me the old testament all my childhood. But there's never been a link between a link between faith and his way of life - it was just a kind of a legend, a story that is mythology that is a part of Jewish people. I've never accepted this as religion. Besides I've never liked this "chosen people" idea as I never liked arrogance & always thought that we are what we are but not our roots, promotions, family status, etc. I remember a family story that there was a rabbi who is sitting in the market praying & at the same time is dealing rabbit skins (or some other animal). He is praying, at the same time examining skins & then he exclaims "this one is spoilt!", swears, & then keeps on praying again. & this was considered to be normal!!! So I never treated Judaism seriously...
2) In time I forgot all these stories. I grew in a very perverted atheistic society with remnants of communism idolatry (worshiping Lenin, Stalin & communist party) mixed with new, materialistic Western mentality. The idea was to get most out of life either in money or in status, power, etc. I've always been an outcast as I never valued all this. I thought I was born for something special not for accumulating wealth, possessions, status, etc.
3) There was a time when I turned to Christianity - but then again it didn't answer my questions. "the ways of God are strange" - was not enough for me!!! I didn't understand this "holy trinity", I couldn't understand why Jesus has paid for all the sins - it didn't make any sense at all. I had big dreams in 4 spheres of life - family (wanted to meet an ideal soul-mate), music (wanted to be a rock-star), bodybuilding (wanted to win big competitions) & UK (wanted to move there). I failed everywhere despite seemingly very high results in each of these spheres (i.e. I could speak English with no foreign accent, lift 200kg or be a good keyboard player in a local band) . I got depressed, I lagged behind, I despised myself. Moreover, I started to be afraid of getting old. I didn't want to wake up in the mornings. This was a total dead-end.
4) It was the 1st of May. On the 7th of May 2003 I was going to be 26. I was thinking of ending my life before my birthday. I could see no light in the end of the tunnel... Then I met an old friend of mine. An Egyptian whose name is Islam. We used to be close friends before & then he left for Australia for a few years. He used to be very far from religion - had multiple love affairs, borrowed money & dealt with criminals. But he was very different this time. He was calm, said he is married & has got a child, then he looked at me & asked "what's wrong with you". I tried to explain. He said "you lack God in your life". & he gave me literature. Harun Yahya.
5) Istarted reading - it was a revelation. Every possible question answered! Atheism crashed, politheism defeated - existance of Allah was crystal clear to me. It was a spring, renaissance, a new life!!! My life suddenly got all the meaning - I knew what I was born for!!!!! A couple of weeks later Islam took me to a mosque, then took me to Imam & said that I wanted to become a muslim. I was afraid & said I wasn't ready. the imam smiled & asked me: "Do you believe there's one God?" - I said "of course!" then he said "do you believe that Muhammad s.a.w.s is the last prohet?" I said I was sure of that too. Then he said: "Do you believe there are angels, & there were prophets before Muhammad such as Musa, Isa, Ibrahim, etc?" I said "YES, OF COURSE!" Then he looked at me, smiled & said "You are already a Muslim!" then I said "Ash hadu Allah..." & my new life has begun.
6) I was absolutelty sure that there's one God & that Islam is the only way but yet I was carried away with everyday life too. Next year I got married, I maintained my Islam for 2 more years & then I started to stray away again. I started going into professional bodybuilding which is an absolute haram, because it makes people idolise body & turnes them into arrogant self-admirors. I didn't fast saying that I had gastritus (whereas the real reason was bodybuilding), I didn't pray in time, & later started praying sitting on a chair as I left prayers to the very end of the day & I became very negligent in Islam. I won't go further on - I just say that I did take part in competitions, I lost my wife for a casual affair with a superficial girl. I tried to find solutions in phychiological training which combined "survival of the fittest", eastern philosophies, etc. I lost hope...
7) I can't remeber how I got to Islam again, but a week before this Ramadan I was as strong in Islam as I was the first months & then I started fasting - for the first time in my life. & each day made me staronger & stronger. I'm far from an ideal Muslim now, but Alhamdulilah I behave as a Muslim publically , can pray openly with strangers watching & see Islam as the ONLY way in life. I've already told many people about it - people that I thought I never would. Each hour & each day my Iman grows stronger & insha Allah I'll never step out of this was again!