Bismillah,
Hello dear Kanini, how are you? Insha'Allah you're keeping well.
Masha'Allah (God had Willed)...you are trying your best in seeking the truth...well, if Allah put you to it, He surely will put you through it Insha'Allah.
You see dear Kanini, guidance comes from Allah Alone.
'Whomsoever Allah guides, none can lead astray, but whomsoever Allah leads astray, none can ever guide (Al-Qur'an)
You mentioned:
....My family was shocked. My brothers made fun of my hijab and i felt bad inside because they did not accept me. ......
Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to Allah)....always remember, the
pleasure of the people, is the
displeasure of
Allah - But the
displeasure of the people, is the
pleasure of
Allah...(Subhan'Allah - Glory be to Allah)...
Dont worry, may Allah keep you strong...if it makes you feel any better...i too was mocked at once (still am sometimes...lol...but Alhamdulillah, i have reliance in Allah)...your very young Masha'Allah....may Allah reward you for your effort, Ameen.
....I now wear it when im alone in my room and i read the Qu'ran in seclusion. I doubt they even know that i read the Qu'ran. ....
Alhamdulillah....you may want to keep it this way for now Kanini, in order to avoid trouble...you wouldnt want yourself to fall in a situation of this sort...and Allah says in the Qur'an that He does not burden a soul more than it can bare!
...My mother says i am one of the very few respectable women in my community....
Kanini, she may be saying this out of anger, try not to take it to heart...Allah ho Alim (Allah Knows best), but truly, every righteous person is respected in the sight of Allah - so what more do we need?
Allah says in the Glorious Qur'an:
"O mankind! We have created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may come to know each other. Verily, the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. And Allah has Full Knowledge and is Well-Acquainted with all things. [Surah Al-Hujurat (49) Verse 13]
Also:
"............Never will I (Allah) allow to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female. You are (members) of one another, so those who emigrated and were driven out from their homes, and suffered harm in My Cause, and who fought, and were killed (in My Cause), verily, I will expiate from them their evil deeds and admit them into Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise); a reward from Allah, and with Allah is the best of rewards." [Surah Al-'Imran (3) Verse 195]
....If i ask for truth, every religion is the truth. My choice though is between Christianity and Islam. .....
well actually, every religion is
not the truth. Frankly speaking, surely every religion would claim that they are upon the truth etc and we say no different! However, consider the following Verses of the Qur'an, Insha'Allah it'll become clear:
'...........This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favour upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion........' (Chapter 5: Verse 3)
"If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (Submission to Allah), Never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost." (Qur'an 3:85)
Subhan'Allah.............
* If anyone has a real desire to be a Muslim and has full conviction and strong belief that Islam is the true religion ordained by Allah for all human-beings, then, one should pronounce the "Shahada", the testimony of faith, without further delay. The Holy Qur'an is explicit on this regard as Allah states. (See the Verses above).
.....Many times i pray to God to reveal the truth to me but i dont know what happens. More now than ever i wished that there were a religion that was both Christian and Islam, but that is impossible because they contradict each other. I only want this because it is hard to decide between them both. ...
As for you saying, that many times you pray to God to reveal the truth but dont know what happens...i would say dear Kanini, keep patience. Patience truly is a great virtue, realise your potential. On the other hand, your wish for knowing a religion similar to both Christianity and Islam - well you may want to read a few of these verses from the Miraculous Qur'an, just to give you a basic insight of this Religion, since Islam/the Qur'an is only proclaiming what was
sent before. Prophet Muhammad
was sent as the
'seal' of the Prophet hood (Subhan'Allah-Glory be to Allah)...
Allah reminds us in the Glorious Qu'ran:
'Say, [O believers]. "We have belived in Allah and what has been revealed to Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and the Descendants [al-Asbat] and what was given to Moses and Jesus and what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and we are Muslims [in submission] to Him. '(Chapter 2: Verse 136)
'Indeed, the religion in the sight of Allah is Islam. And those who were given the scripture did not differ except after knowledge had come to them-out of jealous animosity between themselves. And whoever disbelieves in the Verses of Allah, then indeed, Allah is swift in [taking] account]' (Chapter 3: Verse 19)
And lastly (though you said this before the above mentioned quotes, i thought to respond to this particular quote towards the end) you mentioned:
.....Really and truly, i want the truth, the real truth. I donnot want to be lead astray by lies and betrayal. .....
Insha'Allah, Kanini, rely on Allah Alone...Verily, the Qur'an and Islam, is the utmost Truth! Never will it misguide you...it actually is
the 'WAY' of life dear Kanini, so may Allah help you to accept it with full conviction, Ameen ya Rabb al Alamin.
I pray the above response/s helped you dear Kanini. If there's anything else we can do to help, please give us shout; and if Allah permits, we shall do our best to assist you.
For now i leave you in Allah's Care.....
* That paragraph has been taken from Islam Page.