Need Advice Please!

[Angela Hillyer]

Salam Wa Alaikom brothers and sister, hope you are all well.

I am a re-vert to Islam and I am ready to put on the Hijab Alhamdulilah. I am looking to move out because my parents said that i cant wear it under their roof and i feel that if I do move out I can start doing others things as well like eat Halal meat and watch dvd's that teach me how to pray etc.

I am working in a solicitors office as the receptionist at the moment and I think it is suitable because the solicitors that work here are both female and it is a small business. I asked them if I could wear the Hijab and they said no because they think it would effect the business and scare people away!!! How stupid!!!

Now I dont no if i should still move out because the only reason why I wanted to was so i could wear the hijab and better myself with Islam but if i cant wear it at work what am i supposed to do? I no i should start looking for another job but I really want to move out asap because things are really hard at home. I cant quit my job because then I would have no money to move out with and i am scared that i will not find a job with the hijab on or a job that is suitable for me, (halal environment).

This thread doesn't really make sense because i am just writting it all over the place... My head is so jumbled up and i feel so confused. I guess i just have to put my trust in Allah and do what i think is best.. But i dont no what to do!!! So please any advise would be great and would be very much appreciated.

Your sister
Angela
wasalam

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Sweet sister slow down. You need the job. There is an old saying that it is easier to find a job when you are employed. Start looking for another job. On the job interview go in with the hijab and Allah subhana talla will provide for you. As for the current job...start with scarfs...they can't fire you and if they do you can collect unemployment. I am assuming you are in the UK as you did not use the word lawyer. I do not know the workers rights there but they cannot fire you for your religious affiliations. That is their fear.
Parents are another battle. I seriously ask you to chill out with your parents. You have enough battles to fight. Just keep telling them how much you love them. It is not good for a young Muslim woman to be living alone. They will not abandon you. It is a drastic change for you.
You will have many responses that will tell you other things. All I can really say is change your job..that is easy. Take time with your parents and pray in the privacy of your room. If there is a masjid..go there. It will help keep you strong. Please keep in touch with us here. We will make dua.
It takes time. Keep the faith. One thing at a time..one day at a time..
These times for Muslims are crazy. If there are any Muslim organizations see if you can work for them...try a Muslim business..something good will pop up and the next thing we will know is you will be marrying a good Muslim man.
My love,
your aapa

 

[lostlilly07]

wa alaikum salam

I agree with the Mirjmom, as far as the job they cannot discriminate or basis of religion and if they fire you and you can prove it is over religion. well I am not sure how it is in U.K. but in America you can get paid by sueing. And if it is in America I belive you can write the better business bureau and complain they will force your employer to allow you tow wear the hijab. second as for your parents give them time, do small things like wear nice hats over your head when you leave, or wear long sleeves and long skirts........gradually over time they will get use to you covering that wearing the hijab will not be problem.

 

[Angela Hillyer]

Salaam,

Sweet sister slow down. You need the job. There is an old saying that it is easier to find a job when you are employed. Start looking for another job. On the job interview go in with the hijab and Allah subhana talla will provide for you. As for the current job...start with scarfs...they can't fire you and if they do you can collect unemployment. I am assuming you are in the UK as you did not use the word lawyer. I do not know the workers rights there but they cannot fire you for your religious affiliations. That is their fear.
Parents are another battle. I seriously ask you to chill out with your parents. You have enough battles to fight. Just keep telling them how much you love them. It is not good for a young Muslim woman to be living alone. They will not abandon you. It is a drastic change for you.
You will have many responses that will tell you other things. All I can really say is change your job..that is easy. Take time with your parents and pray in the privacy of your room. If there is a masjid..go there. It will help keep you strong. Please keep in touch with us here. We will make dua.
It takes time. Keep the faith. One thing at a time..one day at a time..
These times for Muslims are crazy. If there are any Muslim organizations see if you can work for them...try a Muslim business..something good will pop up and the next thing we will know is you will be marrying a good Muslim man.
My love,
your aapa

Salam wa alaikom

Thank you so much for your advise... I know i need to stress less. I am actually Australian.. As for my parents... my mum knows but my dad doesnt because I am to scared to tell him, so that is another reason why things are hard at home. And if he did find out he would flip and most probably kick me out anyway. But i will definately go to the local masjid and seek further advise and Insha'allah help there.

Thanks again, May allah bless you and your family. Wasalam

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam sister
Believe me it will be very very hard to live alone .I know it coz I do myself ...
Even with a job its hard to support yourslef alone .To be away from parents won't solve the problem .As sister mirajmom said try to find another job .Many places here in US accept hijab ,like big retail stores for sure ...dont know where u live exactly .But if u can go to Mosque and meet other sisters ,u can learn how to pray ,start from that its most important ...
For the halal environment ,u still can avoid some food while eating with your family ..
But stay with your job now and look for another one .And dont separate from your parents and family please .It all seams easy to live alone but its not at all .Take everyth step by step
May Allah help u

waaleikum salam

 

[junaid hasan]

assalamualikum sister, you are revert so dont decide everything quickly even there are 1000 of things which is not possible to do as a born muslim.Dont put yourself in exams. DO everything with normal temparement. And the advices of other sister are really appreciateble.

 

[Optimist]

Dear sister it is humbling to see what you are going through for things I took for granted. May Allah grant you patience and wisdom and paradise in the end. Amin.

I personally feel that you should try to solve your problems one at once and dont put yourself through many tests at the same time. If you want to put on hijab then you can do this in stages. I heard about some women start doing this at home in their rooms (paradoxical as it seems) but did get there in the end. I'm not a woman so cant really describe how it feel but I guess it would be hard especially in the beginning as you still have the psychological barrier.

I pray that Allah help you again. Amin.

 

[Angela Hillyer]

Salam wa alaikom brothers and sisters

thank you all for you advise!

I also wanted to ask what sort of jobs do you think would be most suitable for muslim women?? Because I want to find a job that is away from men, music, swearing, you no all those types of things.
I was thinking maybe something like childcare but that is all i can really think of, so any suggestions would be great.

Wasalam

 

[Angela Hillyer]

Dear sister it is humbling to see what you are going through for things I took for granted. May Allah grant you patience and wisdom and paradise in the end. Amin.

I personally feel that you should try to solve your problems one at once and dont put yourself through many tests at the same time. If you want to put on hijab then you can do this in stages. I heard about some women start doing this at home in their rooms (paradoxical as it seems) but did get there in the end. I'm not a woman so cant really describe how it feel but I guess it would be hard especially in the beginning as you still have the psychological barrier.

I pray that Allah help you again. Amin.

Salam wa alaikom brother.

I know what you mean about taking things one step at a time, but i have already jumped into to many things at once to actually take one step at a time. Do you follow what I'm saying?

I have worn the hijab out before and i was thinking that i could just wear it everywhere i can and just not wear it everywhere i cant, but i think that would be bad to do because what is the point of covering myself sometimes and just let everyone see me other times. I would be like i am playing around and not taking it serious! But i understand what you are saying about just getting use to it in your room. I just really want to put it on now but there are so many things stopping me. I just have to put my trust in Allah and be patient and Insha'Allah everything will work out.

Thanks for you advice. May allah bless you and your family, wasalam

 

[Angela Hillyer]

salam sister
Believe me it will be very very hard to live alone .I know it coz I do myself ...
Even with a job its hard to support yourslef alone .To be away from parents won't solve the problem .As sister mirajmom said try to find another job .Many places here in US accept hijab ,like big retail stores for sure ...dont know where u live exactly .But if u can go to Mosque and meet other sisters ,u can learn how to pray ,start from that its most important ...
For the halal environment ,u still can avoid some food while eating with your family ..
But stay with your job now and look for another one .And dont separate from your parents and family please .It all seams easy to live alone but its not at all .Take everyth step by step
May Allah help u

waaleikum salam

Salam wa alaikom sister

thankyou for your advice... I understand what you are saying and i no that things would be hard if I moved out of home that is why i dont no what to do. I am trying to think of the positives and the negatives with the situation.

Ow and by the way I live in Australia lol. Wasalam

 

[Sulikha]

:salam2:

I don't have much to wright the sisters wrote it all..lol.

One thing though, Aisha (the prophet's wife, rc.) reported that, "anytime the prophet (S) had to choose between two matters he chose the easier of them as long as it did not entail a sinful action".

It would be wise to go to your local Masjid and ask the Imam for an advise too.

Keep on preying, Allah will answer to the call of his servants who calls on Him with His Beautiful Names.

 

[AliIbanez]

Inshaalah, may Allah show the path of ease for you. I dont know how australians behave with a fellow citizen specailly with a muslim like you, but I dont think they will force you to remove your headscarf once your wearing it. You may try to explain this issue to your boss, if you can, because the way I read it from your post, people that you've asked (assuming your boss is not one of them) are just making an assumption (either the business will be affected or people will get scared).

Salamualaikum

 

[CallOfPeace]

salam alaikom sister
WELL,let's analyse your situation,sister:
Firstly:a muslim should take himself out of the ANTI-Islamic environment as soon as possible,whenever he can,UNLESS MAJORnecessisity dictates the opposite(THIS IS THE CONCEPT OF HIJRAH,made by prophet Mohammad & his companions when they left their homes in makkah&went to Madenah,where they were welcomed).This step makes you free to practise Islam&declare it,instead of the "closed doors policy" u r practising now!

secondly:Remember the Drawbacks of staying with your family:feeling unsafe,Hiding while doing salat,sharing them in haram practice of nonmuslims to avoid troubles(christmas is coming & you understand what i say for sure:astag

Thirdly:I think,it's not only the job which is important ,but it's the home where you spend your "RELIEF TIMES"that should have the priority,because whatever you face outside,you should have PEACE &SHELTER at home,which is not the case of your family home anymore,am i right?

so,My ADVICE IS:
GO TO THE IMAM OF YOUR MASJED,OR CONTACT YOUR NEARBY MUSLIM COMMUNITY ,TO ACHIEVE A VERY IMPORTANT STEP=GET MARRIED TO A GOOD MUSLIM MAN
Such a muslim Husband will support you,get you out of your family house & will change or your current calculations about your situation
I Didn't bring this advice from my own mind,but you just read the Biography of prophet Mohammad(PBUH),this was the Best solution he used to offer for any muslim lady who suferred the same as you,or who became a widow after her muslim husband got killed in wars=ghazawat)

YOUR problem's not just a matter of a job,or headcover,it's a matter of GAINING FREEDOM TO PRACTICE ISLAM IN YOUR DAILY LIFE!!
May Allah guide you to what's best ,& please make salat-istikharah for Marriage

 

[CallOfPeace]

MARRIAGE IS THE SOLUTION

salam alaikom sister
WELL,let's analyse your situation,sister:
Firstly:a muslim should take himself out of the ANTI-Islamic environment as soon as possible,whenever he can,UNLESS MAJORnecessisity dictates the opposite(THIS IS THE CONCEPT OF HIJRAH,made by prophet Mohammad & his companions when they left their homes in makkah&went to Madenah,where they were welcomed).This step makes you free to practise Islam&declare it,instead of the "closed doors policy" u r practising now!

secondly:Remember the Drawbacks of staying with your family:feeling unsafe,Hiding while doing salat,sharing them in haram practice of nonmuslims to avoid troubles(christmas is coming & you understand what i say for sure:astag

Thirdly:I think,it's not only the job which is important ,but it's the home where you spend your "RELIEF TIMES"that should have the priority,because whatever you face outside,you should have PEACE &SHELTER at home,which is not the case of your family home anymore,am i right?

so,My ADVICE IS:
GO TO THE IMAM OF YOUR MASJED,OR CONTACT YOUR NEARBY MUSLIM COMMUNITY ,TO ACHIEVE A VERY IMPORTANT STEP=GET MARRIED TO A GOOD MUSLIM MAN
Such a muslim Husband will support you,get you out of your family house & will change or your current calculations about your situation
I Didn't bring this advice from my own mind,but you just read the Biography of prophet Mohammad(PBUH),this was the Best solution he used to offer for any muslim lady who suferred the same as you,or who became a widow after her muslim husband got killed in wars=ghazawat)

YOUR problem's not just a matter of a job,or headcover,it's a matter of GAINING FREEDOM TO PRACTICE ISLAM IN YOUR DAILY LIFE!!May Allah guide you to what's best ,& please make salat-istikharah for Marriage

 

[CallOfPeace]

SALAM SISTER
SUITABLE JOBS ARE THOSE THAT MAKE YOU IN LESS CONTACT WITH MALES,LIKE:
*health-service:nursing females or kids,caring of old people in geriatric-care-houses,caring for orphans,etc
*educational service:teacher for KinderGarden,or 1ry school kids,nursery,etc
*secretary,reporter or accountant jobs in islamic foundations nearby to your place(check the net to search for them),or in Embassy of an islamic country in Australia
*sales:this is best to be in a shop owned by a muslim person


lastly:As i said before,marriage will change your scope,for sure,inshaAllah

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam sister,

I feel Mirajmom has given you the most practical advice and I second her wise words. You are newly born as a revert and need to learn to crawl before you can walk. There are many occupations you can draw from and even if there is interaction between you and males you can keep it halal by maintaining a bussiness-like behavior. Keep the conversations proper and trust in Allah.

Treat your parents respectfully and show them how Islam has made you a better person. Inshallah maybe their hearts will soften and they will become curious about your now found faith.

For now I would not tell you to just a find a Muslim man and marry him but rather establish your own support network with other Muslim sisters at the locl mosque and they are usually very helpful in getting you settled. Welcome to the family!

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[abuhanaan]

Assalamualaikum sister,

I agree that you should find a job at a Muslim's premise as soon as possible. I know that it is easier said than done, but try not to think much about the salary differences etc. Pray to Allah swt for your current employer change of heart, and pray for a husband too.

Allah swt will surely repay all these hardships in your next life, no arguing that.
Lots of prayers from Malaysia.

 

[alwaysislam]

salams i am also a revert in the beginning i thought i was going mad trying to change everything straight away once you start reading abut islam you panic about the way you are living your life the is the job wrong not trying to upset your family and at the same time living as a good muslim ,i found everytime i tried to discuss islam and the belief i had with family or friends i ended up causing arguements which was the last thing i was aiming to do i tried not to be to strict and tried to be understanding instead of preaching when having discussions ,just try and take things slowly and make lots of dua ,dua can change bad fate and you wll be surprised at how understanding people can be and how they come round i look bck now and cant believe how far ive come i thought my dad would never accept me wearing a scalf now hes fine with it as long as i am happy, safe and healthy thats what all dads want for their daughters isnt it ? i make dua allah(swt) rewards you for your efforts please forgive me if i hav said anything wrong if you want to talk more pls reply take care salam