Tasnima Khan
New Member
As Salaam Wa Alaikum brothers and sisters, i am new to this website. I wanted to ask for some help which is related to stress and deppression. For the past few years ive gone through lots of hardships inlcuding the loss of my granfather and aunt (may Allah(swt) grant them with Jannat Al Firdous Insha'Allah) and also my mum having depression and my father having a heart attack and also inclufding me suffering from mental health roblems(sounds so embarrasing to tell all this) and this had also resulted in me cutting myself and stuff. Now i am quite stable but i still have some problems and i get upset really quick and get heart palpitations and although i resist the urge to cut myself i have resorted to taking sleeping tablets which i first started of with 2 and then i took five twice. I pray five times a day and read the Quran and surah Yassin and Ar Rahma regularly and i also made the effort to read Tahhajud prayer only twice and i don't know if it will be accepted as i don't know if i prayed it right. I often get lots of bad dreams and sleep paralysis( not being able to talk or move in my sleep) which results in me waking up crying and not wanting to sleep. I am trying not to let it get to me as i know that a hardship which will make me turn to Allah(swt) is better than a blessing which will make me forget him but these days i cant help it. I feel as if though my prayers are never gonna be answered and i cant really explain my feelings but im just upset inside really and the thing which makes it worst is that my parents are not that supportive in terms of providing love care and suport, when i cry all i want really is for my mum to come and hug me and say itll be okay but instead she says oh what kind of drama is this why u like this oh what kind of a daughter ive got blah blah blah and shell see me crying come n try to comfort me but it doesnt work she ends up saying things which make it worse then she leaves me! I still love her obviously i try and be a good daughter i hardly raise my voice at my arents and i also try and hel her with things regularly but all i get in return is this, i know i shouldnt be sayingthis but i cant help it my ehart aches a lot and i just dont know what to do anymore, couild someone please give me some advice on how i can ask Allah to soother my heart? I am sooo sorry for this long message.