Patience

[HappyMuslimah]

:salam2:
We all know Islamically that patience and sabr is a great virtue. But I am very upset right now and I just feel alone ... I don't know if I can get through this. I feel as if my heart will literally break through the pain. I am trying to read the Holy Qur'an, and namaaz, and just bear this test with dignity. But I can't. I don't know how to. Patience is one thing I don't have. And now everyone around me is suffering bacuase of it. How do you guys bear bad times? What's the secret to patience?

 

[HappyMuslimah]

:salam2:
By the way, please can you all pray for me?

 

[a_brother]

:salam2: sister

I keep in mind that this feelings will go away since one's mood changes (from bad to good and good to bad)... the more you learn about our religion the easier it becomes and the less time that it lasts, "the bad mood"...

sister, as you know we are always tested, during the test, try to not do anything that is haram... I tend to be last active and try to "not think too much"... what we leave with our test is our deeds... keep in mind that this life is very short...

i don't know what you r experiencing... but if it is something of a worldly life, then remembrance of death is the killer of worldly desires... if meanly about loneliness, then marriage inshaAllah is the solution (marriage its self is another "task" )

I am guessing that you have exams now a days, stressful time... if you are doing your studies for the shake of Allah, then inshaAllah you'll get all the reward... Just do your best (as that's all what you can do!!!)... stress wouldn't help (keep remembering this if it may help)

May Allah make it easy for you sister

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2: dear sister,

Insha Allah, easier times are just around the corner for you. Remember our destiny is already written and this life here is nothing but a test, the greatest of exams Everything has its place in the big scheme of things so do not worry, sister.

The fact that you have empathy for those around you, shows a great quality in you, sister, :ma: You are a compassionate person, don't beat yourself up!

Patience is something that is part of our personal jihad, you will get there, Insha Allah, with lots of praying and reflection and time away from the mayem of our daily lives

 

[amirah80]

Salam Sister

Great advice previously from the two post. Also Sister look within yourself and find out why you are not having patience. When you identify the problem make Du'aa and Ask Allah Ta'Ala to take that problem away from you. When you ask him he will hear inshallah sister. When you are trying to fix yourself for the Sake of Allah you will be blessed with what pleases him. Sister again just ask Allah Ta'Ala for what you need!

Salam
Amirah

 

[araf-da]

generally prophet yakub's prayer is advised

 

[amirah80]

generally prophet yakub's prayer is advised

Salam

Where can Prophet Yakub's (PBUH) prayer be found?:shymuslima1: Thanks

Salam
Amirah80

 

[araf-da]

generally prophet eyyub's prayer is advised

sorry ı did a mistake

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
Allah is truly with the patient. Sometimes we feel like its going to be forever waiting, but Allah does as He sees fit. He will give you what you want whent he time is right. Lots of duaa, reading Quran, watching beneficial lectures, this does help. I will pray for you dear sister, stay strong.

 

[a_brother]

:salam2: sister
hope this post helps...

Ways of Strengthening Patience
by Imâm Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah
http://www.islaam.net/​

The Patience of noble people and the patience of ignoble people

Every person has to exercise patience in order to face difficulties, whether he does so willingly or unwillingly. The noble person exercises patience willingly, because he realizes the benefits of patience, and he knows that he will be rewarded for his patience and will be criticized if he panics. He is aware that if he does not have patience, panicking and impatience will not help him to regain missed opportunities, and will not take away things he dislikes. Whatever is decreed and is qada’ wa qadr cannot be prevented from happening, and whatever is decreed not to happen cannot be made to happen. So an attitude of impatience and panic actually causes harm.

A wise man said: “A man with wisdom as soon as adversity appears does that which a foolish man does after a month (i.e. he resorts to patience).”

The ignoble man exercises patience only when he realizes he has no choice. After wasting a lot of time and energy and panicking and struggling, he realizes that his impatience will not help him. Then he exercises patience in the same way that a person who has been tied up to be whipped exercises patience.

The noble person practices patience in obeying Allâh, whilst the ignoble person exercises patience in obeying the Shaytân. So ignoble people have the greatest patience in following their own whims and desires, and have the least patience in spending in the way of Shaytân and no patience when it comes to spending even a few pennies in the way of Allâh. They will endure many difficulties in order to follow their own whims and desires, but cannot bear even the least difficulties in order to please their Lord. They will endure slander for the sake of committing wrong actions, but cannot exercise patience in putting up with slander for the sake of Allâh. Such people will avoid enjoining the good and forbidding the evil for fear of what people will say about them for doing so, but they will expose their honour to slander and bear it most patiently for the sake of following their own whims and desires. Similarly, they are not prepared to practise patience in devoting themselves to Allâh, but when it comes to devoting themselves to Shaytân and their own whims and desires, they will exercise remarkable patience. Such people will never be noble in the sight of Allâh, and on the Day of Resurrection they will not be raised with the people of nobility and decency.

Ways of strengthening patience

As patience is fard (obligatory), Allâh has provided us with ways and means of obtaining and strengthening the quality of patience, for He has never instructed us to do something without providing us with help and support to do it, and ways and means of achieving it. He has never created a disease without creating a cure for it, and He has guaranteed cure when medicine is used. Even so, patience is difficult, but it is not impossible to attain. Patience consists of two elements: knowledge and action, and from these two elements are derived the remedies for all spiritual and physical troubles. Knowledge and action, combined, are always essential.

Knowledge

The element of knowledge is necessary in order to realize the benefits of following the commands of Allâh and the sense of happiness and fulfillment that one may attain by following them; and to understand what it is in the forbidden things that causes harm, imperfection and evil. When a person realizes that, and adds strong willpower, the desire for spiritual achievement and the wish to live as a complete human being (as opposed to as animal-like existence), then it will become easy for him to attain the quality of patience. The bitterness of patience will become sweet and the pain of patience will become joy.

Action

As we has already seen, patience is a constant battle between the motives of reason and religion on the one had, and the motive of whims and desires on the other. If a person wants reason and religion to overcome whims and desires, then he has to strengthen the former and weaken the latter, just like promoting good health and reducing the risk of illness.

For example, a person who has a strong desire to commit adultery can take steps to combat it. He may have such a strong sexual urge that he cannot stop committing adultery; or he may not commit the act itself, but us unable to stop looking at women; or he may be able to stop looking at women but he cannot stop thinking of sex, to the extent that all his thoughts are devoted to this subject, and he never gives any thought to things which could benefit him in this life and in the hereafter. If he is really serious about finding a cure for this disease, then he has to follow these steps:

1. He can find out what types of food increase sexual desire, then he can reduce his intake of them, or avoid them altogether. If this does not work, then he can fast, as fasting reduces sexual desire, especially if the food eaten when he breaks his fast is moderate.

2. He should lower his gaze and avoid looking at women, as looking at women may provoke sexual desire. The Prophet (SAAS) warned us, “Looking (at women) is one of the arrows of the Shaytân.” Shaytân aims his arrows from reaching its target unless one lowers one’s gaze. But if a person keeps looking, he is exposing his heart to these arrows, any one of which may be fatal.

3. He should enjoy permissible sex (i.e. within marriage), because any desire that Allâh created in us has a permissible outlet. This is the best cure, as the Prophet (SAAS) has indicated.

4. He should think of the harm and damage that may befall him in this world as a consequence of his fulfilling his sexual desire in a prohibited way. Even if there were no Paradise or Hell, the harm that could be caused in this world by such an action should be enough to stop him from doing it. The damage caused by such actions is so great that it can barely be quantified, but sexual desire makes some people blind.

5. He should think of the ugliness of the person who is tempting him to commit adultery with her, especially if she is known to have other partners. He should feel too proud to drink from the same place as dogs and wolves!

Strengthening the motive of reason and religion

In the battle between reason/religion and whims/desires, we have the following “weapons” at our disposal: 1. We should remember the glory and greatness of Allâh, and feel that He is too great to be sinned against as He is all-seeing and all-hearing. Whoever thinks of the greatness of Allâh will never be at ease in committing wrong actions.

2. If we claim to love Allâh, then we should not disobey Him, because of that love. A person should be obedient to the One he claims to love. Those who refrain from committing wrong action out of their love for Allâh are of the highest status in His sight, as are those who worship Him out of love for Him. There is great difference between the one who obeys Allâh and abstains from wrong action out of love, and the one who does so out of fear of punishment.

3. We should think of the blessings and favours of Allâh, as a decent and noble person would never act against the one who has been treating him kindly. Only base and ignoble people do such a thing. If we think of the blessings and favours of Allâh, we will realize that we should not respond by doing against His commands and committing wrong action.

4. We should think of the wrath and punishment of Allâh, as He will be angry with the person who persists in committing wrong action. Nothing can stand in the way of the consequences of His anger, least of all this weak slave of His.

5. We should think of what the person who commits wrong action has to lose, in this world and the next. It should be sufficient to think of the loss of îmân (faith), of which the smallest amount is worth much more than everything in this world. How can anyone be willing to lose his îmân in return for some brief moment of pleasure the consequences of which might last forever? In a sahîh hadîth, the Prophet (SAAS) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time of when he is committing adultery.” Commenting on this hadîth, one of the Sahâbah said: “His îmân will be dragged out of him until it goes over his head like a cloud. If he repents, then his îmân will return to him.”

6. We should relish the idea of defeating the Shaytân and being victorious over him, because of overcoming him, and our whims and desires, is a thing of joy and carries a great reward. It is like taking medicine and being rewarded with restoration to good health.

7. We should bear in mind the reward and compensation which Allâh has promised to those who control their whims and desires, and abstain from that which is harâm.

8. We should think of the special companionship of Allâh, as He has told us: “Allâh is with those who patiently persevere” (al-Baqarah 2:153) “For Allâh is with those who restrain themselves and those who do good” (an-Nahl 16:128) “For verily Allâh is with those who do right.” (al-‘Ankabût 29:69)

9. We should be ever mindful of death, which could come upon us at any time, suddenly and without warning.

10. We should stop thinking of falsehood and bad ideas. Even if bad thoughts cross our minds, we should not let them stay, otherwise they may become hopes and wishes which we may act upon, and harm ourselves and others in the process.

11.We should gradually strengthen our religious motive in fighting whims and desires. Once we have tasted the joy of defeating those whims and desires, then our determination and willpower will grow stronger.

12. We should direct our thoughts towards contemplation of the signs of Allâh which He has encouraged us to think about, whether they are in the Qur’ân or in the universe around us. If such thoughts are constantly in our hearts and minds, this will help us to shun the whisperings of the Shaytân. There is no greater loser than the one who, instead of thinking of Allâh, His Book, His Prophet and his Sahâbah, dwells on Shaytân and the ideas of Shaytân.

13. We should remember how short is our stay on this earth. No-one would want to feel that all he has achieved in this life is the worst kind of deeds, except a person who has no spiritual ambition, whose heart is dead and who is careless. Such a person will ultimately regret his deeds when he realizes that, far from benefiting him, they will lead to punishment. Even the person who has many good deeds to his credit will feel that sense of regret when he realizes that he could have done even more.

14.We should know that Allâh has created us to live an eternal life with no death, a life of pride and ease with no humiliation, a life of security with no fear, a life of richness with no poverty, a life of joy with no pain, a life of perfection with no flaws. Allâh is testing us in this world with a life that will end with death, a life of pride which is accompanied by humiliation and degradation, a life that is tainted by fear, where joy and ease are mixed with sorrow and pain. So many people are mistakenly seeking an easy life of power and pleasure in this world, but most of them never manage to achieve it, and those who do, enjoy it only for a brief time before it vanishes. The Prophets called people to an eternal life of plenty, and whoever answers their call will have the best life in this world, better than the life of kings and their followers, for zuhd in this life is true richness. This is something which the Shaytân greatly envies the believers.

Merely knowing the facts that we have outlined above is not enough. We have to strive and do our utmost to achieve our aim and attain perfection. The best way to do so is to put a stop to the habits that are controlling our lives, as these are the main obstacles which prevent us from succeeding. We should avoid places of fitnah and temptation, as the Prophet (SAAS) told us, “Whoever hears of the Dajjâl should keep away from him.” The best way to protect ourselves from wrong is to keep away from anything that could lead to it. One of the favourite tricks of the Shaytân, which deceives everyone except those who are clever enough to see it, is to show a person some goodness in a wrong thing, and call him to go towards what is good; when the person gets close to it, he falls into the trap.

Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications

 

[sal12]

Assalamu alaikum,
One way that helps me to be patient is to remember all the things I do have and all things that benefit me in this life that I shouldnt take for granted, especially the basic things which millions of people in the third world would love to have. I may not have a great life compared to everyone around me such as my friends (which i think is a test for me) but knowing that i have a lot alhamdulillah compared to the poor keeps me patient, positive and thankful.

A lot of the time I do forget but when I do remember, i remember that I shouldnt be selfish and I hate myself for it but then I also remember that Allah is The Forgiiving and insha'allah will forgive me for my forgetfulness, selfishness and my impatience.

May Allah bring you happiness in this world and the next. Ameen

Ma'asalama