asalam u alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
brother im bit confused with your question YOU ARE SERIOUS are you ill?.....DONT YOU WORRY ALLAHU YASHFEEK,LA BA'SA TUHOORON INSHALLAH...
And why he wont listen you.....do never think this again he wil listen to all repentences and dua'as until sun rises from west.(have this belief!)
if you are fearful about your sins just say this dua by your heart three times
ALLAHUMA MUGHFIRATUKA AUSAU MIN ZONOOBI WA RAHMATUKA ARJA INDI MIN AMALI you will be forgiven inshallah if your sins filled the space between earth and sky.(i read it in authentic hadith)
you said you want to enjoy life for sometime, actually my respected brother life is not a park to enjoy it....you must have heard about SIRAT bridge of QIYAMAH,life is like it..... very hard and conquerable without ALLAH's help..... you must have said you are not yet prepared to face ALLAH subhanahu wa ta'ala.....see request is same but in better words.and pray that Ya Allah if you think my life is better then give me life and if not then give me death(dont remember the arabic of it)
PLZ FORGIVE ME IF ANY OF MY WORDS HURT YOU....AND CHEER UP TO FACE CHALLANGES OF THIS WORLD.....health and illness always play hide and seek with each other.....one looking for other and other for first....inshallah you will get your health back......my prayers are with you
take care ma'a salama
