Please read an say your opinion :)

[4mMadara2Amina]

As salam alykom wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu :tti_sister:

It is second poem I am posting here in TTI. I can say this poem is really just thanks to TTI family posted treads I have read as a spirit to write a poem. Now my dear sisters and brother in Islam- you have to tell me what is your opinion of what am saying 'between the lines'. It seems easy for me, but not sure it might be same to you? I wish you might like. Yet I havent made a name of this poem, might be someone has idea? :shymuslima1:

***

Leave the talking in the time
When it is calling you to claim

Run not walk to make you neat
Take a place in mosque to seat

Make yourself to be the one
Who may make the good deed done

Keep your heart to be prepared
So the words you spell be cleared

Let the heart do its choice
Without making any noise

Be the one who follow right
Increasing things which be alright

Say the words to make you clean
Meanwhile making small breath weep

Thanks for choice to do it so
Making sins to falling low

Put your wish, heart and soul
for the ONE you living so

Get ready 'now' for reward
No matter what has been apart

Think of day when all will be
in hands of you and faith you keep.

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

No one?

 

[arzafar]

well sister all i can say is that you need to work harder. i think English isn't your first language. here is poem dedicated to you.

Try Try Again
by T. H. Palmer

‘Tis a lesson you should heed,
If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try again;

Then your courage should appear,
For if you will persevere,
You will conquer, never fear
Try, try again;

Once or twice, though you should fail,
If you would at last prevail,
Try, try again;

If we strive, 'tis no disgrace
Though we do not win the race;
What should you do in the case?
Try, try again

If you find your task is hard,
Time will bring you your reward,
Try, try again

All that other folks can do,
Why, with patience, should not you?
Only keep this rule in view:
Try, try again.

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

As salam alykom

well sister all i can say is that you need to work harder. i think English isn't your first language. here is poem dedicated to you.

Try Try Again
by T. H. Palmer

‘Tis a lesson you should heed,
If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try again;

Then your courage should appear,
For if you will persevere,
You will conquer, never fear
Try, try again;

Once or twice, though you should fail,
If you would at last prevail,
Try, try again;

If we strive, 'tis no disgrace
Though we do not win the race;
What should you do in the case?
Try, try again

If you find your task is hard,
Time will bring you your reward,
Try, try again

All that other folks can do,
Why, with patience, should not you?
Only keep this rule in view:
Try, try again.

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion and this lovely poem.
Well it is not up to my language might be first one as native , or just speaking fluently... There has many persons writing poems in eating word ends and so on. Main point is- can u see the point, the specific thing what has been said in the poem. To write a poem can each one of us. Don't need to use 'excellent' and 'smart' words to explain your feelings in a poem. Might be I have grammar mistakes and very simple vocabulary, but I do not ask to watch on it. :tti_sister: Forgive me for my answer, but somehow sometimes is hard to listen critic especially when all of your heart has been said more than 'grammatic sentences to be correct'...
:tti_sister:

 

[arzafar]

well that's the problem, i cant understand what you are trying to say in the poem. I can get the overall message but i can appreciate the specific idea in each verse. you should write a poem in your native language and post it. then we'll use google translator to convert it into english.

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

As salam alykom

well that's the problem, i cant understand what you are trying to say in the poem. I can get the overall message but i can appreciate the specific idea in each verse. you should write a poem in your native language and post it. then we'll use google translator to convert it into english.

My native language it not so easy as might be others by using google translation to translate it into English. I have tried many google translators and the translations in sweet way could say ' horrible'. I don't know why it is so, maybe because we have too much vocabulary. But anyway I can explain if you can;t get it, Might be as most it happens- you not the person who writes poems? So not be able 'fall' of the meaning. I appreciate your honestly.

 

[Fatima S.Ar]

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته
Well- said
I like it ma sha'a Allah you'll have a great future in sha'a Allah as a poet
May Allah bless you honey ^

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

As salam alykom

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته
Well- said
I like it ma sha'a Allah you'll have a great future in sha'a Allah as a poet
May Allah bless you honey ^

Amen.
Thank you so much :shymuslima1:

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicum

Mashallah, it is very sweet poem dear sister,and well expressed with good messages. Mashallah, I like it a loot.

May Allah reword you dear sister for sharing with us your writing,and I think your poem can be called " Be the one who folow right" :shymuslima1:. I hope Inshallah you will like my title.

May Allah bless you

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

Wa alykom as salam

Assalamu allaicum

Mashallah, it is very sweet poem dear sister,and well expressed with good messages. Mashallah, I like it a loot.

May Allah reword you dear sister for sharing with us your writing,and I think your poem can be called " Be the one who folow right" :shymuslima1:. I hope Inshallah you will like my title.

May Allah bless you

Yes, that could be very good tittle =)))))
Very, very happy hear that someone likes. I really at the beginning thoguht I maybe used too 'strong' words in it... ALHAMDULILLAH someone get's my message

 

[arzafar]

My native language it not so easy as might be others by using google translation to translate it into English. I have tried many google translators and the translations in sweet way could say ' horrible'. I don't know why it is so, maybe because we have too much vocabulary. But anyway I can explain if you can;t get it, Might be as most it happens- you not the person who writes poems? So not be able 'fall' of the meaning. I appreciate your honestly.

yeah i dont write poems but i do like to read sometimes. Here is how i understood your words

------------------------------------------------------------

Leave the talking in the time
When it is calling you to claim

dunno

Run not walk to make you neat
Take a place in mosque to seat

walk to do wuduu and the go the mosuqe to pray. right?

Make yourself to be the one
Who may make the good deed done

do righteous deeds. try to become good muslim

Keep your heart to be prepared
So the words you spell be cleared

dunno?

Let the heart do its choice
Without making any noise

dunno

Be the one who follow right
Increasing things which be alright

be good muslim

Say the words to make you clean
Meanwhile making small breath weep

dunno?

Thanks for choice to do it so
Making sins to falling low

dunno?

Put your wish, heart and soul
for the ONE you living so

dunno?

Get ready 'now' for reward
No matter what has been apart

confusing/dunno

Think of day when all will be
in hands of you and faith you keep.

remember the day of judgement?

-------------------------------------------------------
ok sorry for 'destroying' your poem.

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

very good at the beginning

yeah i dont write poems but i do like to read sometimes. Here is how i understood your words

------------------------------------------------------------

Leave the talking in the time
When it is calling you to claim

dunno
Run not walk to make you neat
Take a place in mosque to seat

walk to do wuduu and the go the mosuqe to pray. right?

Make yourself to be the one
Who may make the good deed done

do righteous deeds. try to become good muslim

Keep your heart to be prepared
So the words you spell be cleared

dunno?

Let the heart do its choice
Without making any noise

dunno

Be the one who follow right
Increasing things which be alright

be good muslim

Say the words to make you clean
Meanwhile making small breath weep

dunno?

Thanks for choice to do it so
Making sins to falling low

dunno?

Put your wish, heart and soul
for the ONE you living so

dunno?

Get ready 'now' for reward
No matter what has been apart

confusing/dunno

Think of day when all will be
in hands of you and faith you keep.

remember the day of judgement?

-------------------------------------------------------
ok sorry for 'destroying' your poem.

1. You have to stop each and everything while its calling - adhan.
2. Yes, you said correctly. It is - go and do the ablution.
3.do righteous deeds. try to become good muslim- Yes, could say also like that as when you going to pray, you will increase your good deeds. Well done!
4.You have to be sure of what you going to do. It means - the time before praying you have to preper for it. For example, after ablution saying the Shahada.
5.It is just an explanation of the result how deep you might really concentrate on your namaz.(while you are on praying carpet) Its ask for no other jobs being pray. Like eating or drinking or looking around..
6. Once again ask for joining the namaz so you get reward.
7.It is- weeping (crying) in the namaz. Am sure you have heard of this.
8. This is the reward what namaz give us- make sins fall down. We choose to pray not watch TV shows or playing games while it is time for it.
9.It is DUA - when your soul, heart and wish is all in one and only for ONE.
10. It is an invitation from the ALLAH, be prepared of what have you asked.
11. If you pray you go to Jannah, if not....

Is it more nice now when you got the explanation?
And you haven't destroyed the poem. It is just human being right- to ask and say his or her own opinion.

 

[arzafar]

1. You have to stop each and everything while its calling - adhan.
2. Yes, you said correctly. It is - go and do the ablution.
3.do righteous deeds. try to become good muslim- Yes, could say also like that as when you going to pray, you will increase your good deeds. Well done!
4.You have to be sure of what you going to do. It means - the time before praying you have to preper for it. For example, after ablution saying the Shahada.
5.It is just an explanation of the result how deep you might really concentrate on your namaz.(while you are on praying carpet) Its ask for no other jobs being pray. Like eating or drinking or looking around..
6. Once again ask for joining the namaz so you get reward.
7.It is- weeping (crying) in the namaz. Am sure you have heard of this.
8. This is the reward what namaz give us- make sins fall down. We choose to pray not watch TV shows or playing games while it is time for it.
9.It is DUA - when your soul, heart and wish is all in one and only for ONE.
10. It is an invitation from the ALLAH, be prepared of what have you asked.
11. If you pray you go to Jannah, if not....

Is it more nice now when you got the explanation?
And you haven't destroyed the poem. It is just human being right- to ask and say his or her own opinion.

ok wow!
that was deeeeeeeep stuff about preparing and performing salah!!! actually it now looks fairly simple; how did i miss it.

yeah it is nice poem now that i understand it. Earlier i got lost in the tenses and didnt have a clue of what was going on.

Jazakallah khair

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

I am glad

ok wow!
that was deeeeeeeep stuff about preparing and performing salah!!! actually it now looks fairly simple; how did i miss it.

yeah it is nice poem now that i understand it. Earlier i got lost in the tenses and didnt have a clue of what was going on.

Jazakallah khair

Thank you so much :tti_sister:

 

[Munawar]

ok wow!
that was deeeeeeeep stuff about preparing and performing salah!!! actually it now looks fairly simple; how did i miss it.

yeah it is nice poem now that i understand it. Earlier i got lost in the tenses and didnt have a clue of what was going on.

Jazakallah khair

:salam2:
I agree with these statements. :ma:
Good poem indeed about... :tti_sister:

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

As salam alykom

:salam2:
I agree with these statements. :ma:
Good poem indeed about... :tti_sister:

:muslim_child:

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

:salam2:wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

very beautiful mashallahveryvery sweet poem with a strong message

jazakallah khairan for sharingkeep it up ukhti

wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

Thank you so much

:salam2:wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

very beautiful mashallahveryvery sweet poem with a strong message

jazakallah khairan for sharingkeep it up ukhti

wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

InshALLAH I be able make many more

 

[arzafar]

actually there is no title on the poem. i think if the title was "salah' or something similar then it would have been easier to understand the poem.

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

hmm

actually there is no title on the poem. i think if the title was "salah' or something similar then it would have been easier to understand the poem.

Hehe true.. But than I wouldn't be able ask all of you do you understand it Because than more easy everything would be seen. Well am just writing poems since 15 and been 4 years, still I have time to grow up how in proper way present the poem, right?

One of our sisters above gave my poem a name - 'Be the one who follow right'. Amazing tittle.

Well you could try to write some poems by yourself one day. To be honest I better like to write poems , than read. And I better read a book than a single poem Its me hehe.