ahmed_indian
to Allah we belong
:salam2:,
Taken from: http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134293515-should-have-could-have-would-have.html
As I get older I see more and more young muslimahs growing in their obsession to be married, to date, to do this and that. I remember being that age and obsessing about that stuff. Oh how silly I was.
Often these girls have parents who warn them, who tell them to stay away from the boys, to focus on school and family. Some girls listen, others dont. I didnt. Many other girls I knew didnt either.
I used to go to a sunday school with 4 close friends. We learned to pray and all that other stuff together. Of course we would giggle about boys after.
Miriam was the smartest one of all of us but we didint know it then. She stayed away from the boys and focused on her studies. She is married now, has children and a part time career doing something she loves.
Summaya flirted a lot with the boys but she never got the attention she so badly wanted. Looking back, I think it had a lot to do with the fact that her father pretty much ignored she even existed until she reached a marriageable age. Summaya said yes to the first man who really paid attention to her. I never heard from her again after that. Neither did most of her family. People said he forced her to cut off all ties.
Then there was Hafiza. She was beautiful. When she walked into a room, she was one of those people you had to stare at. The boys and men hounded her. She dated a few. Her studies were left by the wayside and she focused on who would be her "future husband." Eventually she met a good guy who she really fell hard for. He was the whole package. Pious, handsome, ambitious and respectable. A couple months before their wedding, Hafiza's former flame broke into her flat and attacked her.
There was no wedding. Hafiza was sent to live with her grandmother in Lebanon. Never heard from her again either.
Last was myself. I had stayed away from the boys for a long time but at one point one convinced me to speak to him. I did, stupidly thinking he really cared. My parents found out and forbade me from ever speaking to him again. I did it behind their back. I kick myself still when I think about how I thought they wanted me to be miserable. How stupid of me to think that. My naiveté didnt let me see that they were protecting me.
I spent four years on this man. He got engaged and married during those four years. I had no idea because I lived far from him and I never told anyone about him. I found eventually and the pain was almost unbearable. So unbearable to me that I said yes to a proposal from a man 15 years my senior and not at all someone I felt a single thing for. I never did and eventually our marriage fell apart to the point of no return.
I remarried, and am thankful for what I have now. I still think about what I could have done, what I should have done what I would have done had I realized my stupidity.
Why am I telling you this story? Well, I read a story recently about a girl who recently died after being murdered on her way to meet with some friends.
The man who married her was her ex boyfriend who was jealous of her new boyfriend.
Am I trying to scare the girls here from dating? No. Only trying to make you understand why your parents tell you not to date, tell you stay away from the boys. This is one of the many reasons why there are guidelines to a proper Islamic courtship.
It is to protect you. To protect you honor. Your respectability. Your reputation. Your heart.
*********
Messenger of Allah :saw2:: whoever Allaah blesses with a righteous wife, then He has assisted him in half of his deen. So therefore, let him fear Allaah in the other half. (Al-Albaanee declared the hadeeth hasan)
************
Taken from: http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134293515-should-have-could-have-would-have.html
As I get older I see more and more young muslimahs growing in their obsession to be married, to date, to do this and that. I remember being that age and obsessing about that stuff. Oh how silly I was.
Often these girls have parents who warn them, who tell them to stay away from the boys, to focus on school and family. Some girls listen, others dont. I didnt. Many other girls I knew didnt either.
I used to go to a sunday school with 4 close friends. We learned to pray and all that other stuff together. Of course we would giggle about boys after.
Miriam was the smartest one of all of us but we didint know it then. She stayed away from the boys and focused on her studies. She is married now, has children and a part time career doing something she loves.
Summaya flirted a lot with the boys but she never got the attention she so badly wanted. Looking back, I think it had a lot to do with the fact that her father pretty much ignored she even existed until she reached a marriageable age. Summaya said yes to the first man who really paid attention to her. I never heard from her again after that. Neither did most of her family. People said he forced her to cut off all ties.
Then there was Hafiza. She was beautiful. When she walked into a room, she was one of those people you had to stare at. The boys and men hounded her. She dated a few. Her studies were left by the wayside and she focused on who would be her "future husband." Eventually she met a good guy who she really fell hard for. He was the whole package. Pious, handsome, ambitious and respectable. A couple months before their wedding, Hafiza's former flame broke into her flat and attacked her.
There was no wedding. Hafiza was sent to live with her grandmother in Lebanon. Never heard from her again either.
Last was myself. I had stayed away from the boys for a long time but at one point one convinced me to speak to him. I did, stupidly thinking he really cared. My parents found out and forbade me from ever speaking to him again. I did it behind their back. I kick myself still when I think about how I thought they wanted me to be miserable. How stupid of me to think that. My naiveté didnt let me see that they were protecting me.
I spent four years on this man. He got engaged and married during those four years. I had no idea because I lived far from him and I never told anyone about him. I found eventually and the pain was almost unbearable. So unbearable to me that I said yes to a proposal from a man 15 years my senior and not at all someone I felt a single thing for. I never did and eventually our marriage fell apart to the point of no return.
I remarried, and am thankful for what I have now. I still think about what I could have done, what I should have done what I would have done had I realized my stupidity.
Why am I telling you this story? Well, I read a story recently about a girl who recently died after being murdered on her way to meet with some friends.
The man who married her was her ex boyfriend who was jealous of her new boyfriend.
Am I trying to scare the girls here from dating? No. Only trying to make you understand why your parents tell you not to date, tell you stay away from the boys. This is one of the many reasons why there are guidelines to a proper Islamic courtship.
It is to protect you. To protect you honor. Your respectability. Your reputation. Your heart.
*********
Messenger of Allah :saw2:: whoever Allaah blesses with a righteous wife, then He has assisted him in half of his deen. So therefore, let him fear Allaah in the other half. (Al-Albaanee declared the hadeeth hasan)
************
