Assalamu Alaikum, sister!
Thank you for being open and expressing how you feel! I can somewhat relate to your story. I wore hijab from 6th grade-7th grade and took it off after that because my hijab was too small & I never got a new one (that was my excuse back then). When I took it off (especially in high school), I felt free...I felt beautiful. I was the popular girl at school. I got so many compliments on my hair. I think I was even known for my hair, lol. But you know what? Three years later, my hair started thinning. My hair is no longer pretty (alhamduiliah, it's getting better though). I take this as a lesson from Allah (azza wa jal) because at that time, I was arrogant. I thought I was better and prettier than everyone else. But Allah took away my beauty because I deserved it and perhaps HE wanted me to learn from that. And who knows- I seriously wonder if my hair is thinning because someone (or even many) gave me the evil eye. I'm not trying to blame it all on the evil eye, but it's something I wonder about because so many people had touched my hair and complimented me. It's a scary thought now that I look back. If I was to go back in time (& knew more about Islam), I really would have even took the extra step to wear niqab just to preserve my beauty, but instead I showed off my beauty...something I should have kept private.
Compliments are good, but it can sometimes feed a person's ego. I know because after getting so many compliments, it made me act full of myself (arrogant). So we must ask ourselves what's our intention behind showing our beauty to the world. Surely, one who has even an atom's worth of arrogance will not enter the gates of Jannah! I have learned that showing off my beauty...or my hair doesn't let me be free rather it is hijab that lets me be free because it protects me from wandering eyes & allows people to respect & see me for my mind not my body. That is the beauty of hijab!
And I can ensure you that all the "guy-friends" I had were only my friends because I was pretty nothing more, wallahi. That's why in Islam, there's no such thing as "guy-friends" because in reality, Allah has made men to desire women. Yes, as a girl I thought of these "guy-friends" as my brothers (I thought guys were easier to talk to because girls were too much drama, lol). But know that our intention as girls are totally different from guys. You could want to just be friends, but in the guy's mind- he may want to be more than friends. I experienced this with many of the "guy-friends" I had at school. I'm not saying you cannot talk to men at all & that they must be shunned (there are certain limits we must not surpass- perhaps a Muslim brother is giving you Islamic advice, etc, so there shouldn't be any harm in that). I'm just saying we should be cautious because Shaytan is clever. He will try to turn something that we thought was little & innocent into something big & bad.
I say this out of love, my dear sister! I understand where you are coming from because there are times where I see girls showing their hair & I just wish I could do the same. Just to feel the wind blow through my hair...ahh. But this is what Shaytan wants. He wants us to stay away from doing good (Allah's commands) and go towards the evil. Don't let him take you over! As the brother mentioned in this forum- verse 216 from the 2nd chapter in the Quran
"...it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not." Allah knows best and wants the best for you. He doesn't do anything to make you miserable. So you may not want to wear hijab...this is a desire of yours (& I'm surely many sisters feel the same way), but it's a desire that goes against what Allah commands of the believing women. Surely, there is no benefit that comes out from going against Allah's command.
Yes, hijab is a struggle...perhaps a jihad for some, but the reward is so much greater in this life and the next. Whereas, without hijab, some sheikhs go on to say that for every hair that it exposed on your head to the public- there is a sin. Can you imagine how many hairs we have on our head and how many sins that would be?! May Allah protect us from that. You can show your hair to your family and friends (girls, of course) though. And know that your hair may not be attractive to some, but it may be for others. Your brother may not think so simply because he wouldn't have a desire to like you in the way your non-maharam would.
Insha'Allah, I hope you'll understand!
All these posts your brothers & sisters have left you are not meant to be mean or anything like that. We are just here to help you because we love you for the sake of Allah and want the best for you. I hope that you will make the right decision and I pray that Allah makes it easy for you.
Assalamu'alikum
I'm a 16 year old girl and actually I've reached puberty about 3 years ago. However, I don't really want to wear Hijab. I just don't want to. I don't want to be like all of those girls who wear it (it's actually too mainstream in my country or city). Plus, when I was younger my mom always used to put my up hair in a ponytail for over 6 years while I've always wanted to get out this "ponytail-zone". And now when I'm finally out of the "ponytail-zone", I have to wear hijab. I just want to feel like creative with my hair, going out with it and having compliments for it, that's all I want. Yet at the same time, for sure, I'll be wearing modest clothes or just the same I would wear if I was wearing Hijab. Because I don't really see that my hair would be that much attracting for men, my brother doesn't think it's attractive nor even do my guy-friends. So what you girls think?? Also, I wanted to make sure of the concept that "You cannot wear Hijab until you want to otherwise it won't be accepted" because whenever I ask somebody they say yes it's true but never really give me proof.