What Islam says about non-muslim guys?

[najbc]

Assalamu alaykum, I am senior in High school. I have question, are we allow being friends or talking to non-Muslim guy. My junior I was transferred to new school and this guy was not Muslim help me out and this year we have class together and every time I am talking to him, my Muslim brothers give a weird look and even though I am talk to and help my Muslim brothers. I just feel that talking to non-Muslim guy must be wrong. I am nice person and have good sense of humor and I have both Muslim and non-Muslim and I wear Hijab.i just am not sure what Islam say about to talking to non-muslim guys.

 

[justoneofmillion]

Assalamu alaykum, I am senior in High school. I have question, are we allow being friends or talking to non-Muslim guy. My junior I was transferred to new school and this guy was not Muslim help me out and this year we have class together and every time I am talking to him, my Muslim brothers give a weird look and even though I am talk to and help my Muslim brothers. I just feel that talking to non-Muslim guy must be wrong. I am nice person and have good sense of humor and I have both Muslim and non-Muslim and I wear Hijab.i just am not sure what Islam say about to talking to non-muslim guys.

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8677


http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5259&page=3&highlight=muslim+woman+behaviour

wassalam

 

[Wulf]

W'Asalaamu Alaikum

I have just read the links above and I am wondering if Internet mixing should now be included as not being acceptable.

I know of many who who lost their Partners through "Chat Room" contact, (Myself included).
It is not enough to think "It's okay, they are in another place/country". The increased use of web phone video conversation can lead to increased online intimacy to the point where one person may actually travel to the other country to meet and be together.
I often read of such cases in the Media where a Man/Woman has abandoned their Family, partner and children to come to Australia and meet.

However, I can understand the question posed by Najbc. Living in a non Muslim country, a Muslim lives in two worlds. The world of Islam and the secular world. The later being one of suspician and, at times, fear, of anything Islamic. I sometimes feel that being isolationist may well add to that perception.
So what can she do?
Does she be rude, according to non Muslim perception, and ignore this person?
Maybe one of the Muslim Brothers could act as a Brother and speak on her behalf, rather than Judge her actions, and explain to this person what her position should be.

On the other hand could it be at all possible that, because of her Modesty and the help she willingly gives, this boy may well learn to understand islam and be led to the right path. Or at least become a defender of islam.
She is after all under the protection of her Muslim brothers, who have a duty to ensure that no-one is led astray.

Even better, one of her Brothers could sit with this boy as well and help her help this boy?

Anyway it is just a thought.

W'Asalaam
Ibrahim

 

[justoneofmillion]

W'Asalaamu Alaikum

I have just read the links above and I am wondering if Internet mixing should now be included as not being acceptable.

I know of many who who lost their Partners through "Chat Room" contact, (Myself included).
It is not enough to think "It's okay, they are in another place/country". The increased use of web phone video conversation can lead to increased online intimacy to the point where one person may actually travel to the other country to meet and be together.
I often read of such cases in the Media where a Man/Woman has abandoned their Family, partner and children to come to Australia and meet.



However, I can understand the question posed by Najbc. Living in a non Muslim country, a Muslim lives in two worlds. The world of Islam and the secular world. The later being one of suspician and, at times, fear, of anything Islamic. I sometimes feel that being isolationist may well add to that perception.
So what can she do?
Does she be rude, according to non Muslim perception, and ignore this person?
Maybe one of the Muslim Brothers could act as a Brother and speak on her behalf, rather than Judge her actions, and explain to this person what her position should be.

On the other hand could it be at all possible that, because of her Modesty and the help she willingly gives, this boy may well learn to understand islam and be led to the right path. Or at least become a defender of islam.
She is after all under the protection of her Muslim brothers, who have a duty to ensure that no-one is led astray.

Even better, one of her Brothers could sit with this boy as well and help her help this boy?

Anyway it is just a thought.

W'Asalaam
Ibrahim

sorry brother i mean no desrespect but we should rely on the quran and

sunna about cetain matters and avoid judging things according to our pesonal opinoins so what islam says about gender mixing should be the main authority that we would eventually rely on a 100% without the fear of being innacurate. and allahswt knows best

 

[Wulf]

W'Asalaamu Alaikum

I have no personal opinions on any matter. I merely try to offer a suggestion.
Some here may well have a greater knowledge of Islam and the Qur'an, however I have 60 years of wisdom. A wisdom gained through living life as many here have never known. I pray they never will know or live as i have done

I also pay to Allah (swt) that I shall never become so heavenly minded that I am of no earthly use.

I will now leave, this my last post.

W'asalaam

 

[justoneofmillion]

brother everybody has a special experience in life age doesn`t mean much at a certain extent and i don`t wish anybody to go through the extreemsi ve been through whether in good times or bad times cause this were days of haram! however a good muslim feels honored and is humbled in the presence of his brothers and sisters and is proud towards unbelievers sometimes so i escape the details didn`t mean to undermind your thought sorry if you felt that way!

your brother

regards

 

[yasser_khan1210]

talking to guys (both muslims and non muslims)

allahs peace blessings and mercy be upoun u

Dear sister

its a pity that u have asked such a question being a muslim and after knowing all the rules and regulations of islam . its is forbiddenfor a muslim girl to talk to guy both muslim and non muslims .Its forbidden in islam for a guy even to stare at a girl be it a muslim or a non muslim so not to mention about talkin being a girl you can only talk to to girls cut offf all your relation with guys and maintain relations with only girls that too saleh. Inshallah you will lead rest of your life according to the principles of islam and u will be good role model for generations to come.

 

[apocalypse77]

allahs peace blessings and mercy be upoun u

Dear sister

its a pity that u have asked such a question being a muslim and after knowing all the rules and regulations of islam . its is forbiddenfor a muslim girl to talk to guy both muslim and non muslims .Its forbidden in islam for a guy even to stare at a girl be it a muslim or a non muslim so not to mention about talkin being a girl you can only talk to to girls cut offf all your relation with guys and maintain relations with only girls that too saleh. Inshallah you will lead rest of your life according to the principles of islam and u will be good role model for generations to come.

erm isnt that too extreme?how abt dealing with business partners whom ar eof the opp sex etc?I mean if its casual senseless talk then im sure its forbidden

 

[virtualeye]

W'Asalaamu Alaikum

I have no personal opinions on any matter. I merely try to offer a suggestion.
Some here may well have a greater knowledge of Islam and the Qur'an, however I have 60 years of wisdom. A wisdom gained through living life as many here have never known. I pray they never will know or live as i have done

I also pay to Allah (swt) that I shall never become so heavenly minded that I am of no earthly use.

I will now leave, this my last post.

W'asalaam

AssalaamuAlaikum,

Brother,

Ok, I found the post where you felt disgraced.

Brother, Please accept my humble opinion that it is the fear of 'not following' the message of Allah correctly which matters. Otherwise nobody is trying to underestimate your age and experience. Infact brothers/sisters must be feeling a little shy when telling you something about Islam.

The other aspect is about cutures. I hope if you travel to an eastern Islamic country then you would know what is real feeling of 'shyness' which no American women have even imagined in the life. So a person living in America will feel it very sick that you marry a person you dont even have seen in the life. On the other hand it is very much normal in the East.

So, your 60 years experience is good and fair about to give opinion about the Muslim girl living in a nonMuslim country. But other brothers/sisters have their own opinion which they learnt from their environment where a girl thinks 1000 times before talking to a guy. Many times, only a Muslim guy can initiate a talk with the sister, otherwise they stay quite and away. The meaning of 'being friendly' is different in different countries.

In an eastern environment of shyness, the initiative of a boy talking to a girl, is taken as the start of their interest in each other. The schools and colleges are separate for boys and girls mostly.

So, it is not about devalueing your age, but the immersion to the diverse cultures everyone experienced. (like the example I gave about arranged marriage)


Wassalaam,
VE

 

[virtualeye]

allahs peace blessings and mercy be upoun u

Dear sister

its a pity that u have asked such a question being a muslim and after knowing all the rules and regulations of islam . its is forbiddenfor a muslim girl to talk to guy both muslim and non muslims .Its forbidden in islam for a guy even to stare at a girl be it a muslim or a non muslim so not to mention about talkin being a girl you can only talk to to girls cut offf all your relation with guys and maintain relations with only girls that too saleh. Inshallah you will lead rest of your life according to the principles of islam and u will be good role model for generations to come.

I have never come accross such a disgusting attitude here. Discouraging the person that he/she never dares to ask a question again.

How can you judge a person on the basis of few lines of his question? Did you ever live in UK or American culture? It'nt it good that she has fear of doing the wrong act and concern if she is doing right or not?

Please take your time in learning about the diversity of cultures in the world.

According to a hadith, if you give sadaqah (charity) to a person after with insult, then was better you would not give him that sadaqah.
i.e. Giving charity to someone and insulting him at the same time is much much worse then not given to that needy.


I apologize the sister for such bad behavior of a site member here.


Wassalaam,
VE

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: In principle, contacts between men and women are not totally rejected, rather, recommandable so long as a noble objective is intended and the subject itself is lawful such as acquring beneficial knowledge, good work, charitable project or many other other deeds that require the efforts and the co-operation of both sexes. however, this by no means calls for transgressing the limits and forgetting about the nature of both sexes. In all their dealings, both men and women are to abide by the teachings of Islam that call for co-operation on the basis of goodness and piety while observing the rules of morality and politeness.
The following conditions must be met
1. Both parties should adhere to lowering the gaze. No lustful look should exist.
2 A muslim woman should observe the muslim code of dressing.
3. General morality should be adhered to. In other words a woman should be serious in speech and decent in way of walking.
4. No man and woman are allowed to be together in a place where no other males exist.This applies also to the reletives of husband . This is because a relative of a husband may stay for a long time and thus the danger of sin becomes greater.
5. Finally, all these contacts are not to be given loose rein. They are to be carried out according to need and reasonable interaction. Contacting men, no muslim woman is allowed to forget about her nature or her role as a woman and instructor of all Muslim generations.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

allahs peace blessings and mercy be upoun u

Dear sister

its a pity that u have asked such a question being a muslim and after knowing all the rules and regulations of islam . its is forbiddenfor a muslim girl to talk to guy both muslim and non muslims .Its forbidden in islam for a guy even to stare at a girl be it a muslim or a non muslim so not to mention about talkin being a girl you can only talk to to girls cut offf all your relation with guys and maintain relations with only girls that too saleh. Inshallah you will lead rest of your life according to the principles of islam and u will be good role model for generations to come.

I hope you don't see this as an attack brother, but your answers are very narrow. You have to be careful with what you are saying and whom you are saying it to. Every culture is different and Muslims live in different parts of the world.

In the U.S. for example when you are in High School or College there is alot of interaction with non-Muslim guys and girls. You have collaborations in projects and assignements. It's hard to avoid that, unless you want to fail. If a person has a real weakness with talking with the opposite sex, they should try to avoid it at their own discretion. They know what is good and bad for themselves---if it will lead them to wrongful actions. If you feel like you are in doubt, then you should avoid the situation.

This is a dynamic and changing world, but the beauty of Islam is that it keeps up with these times and changes. It also gives us the free will to make our own choices in situation where we feel like it is going to lead us astray. In Islam everything is based on intentions and only Allah knows what is inside our hearts. For example, it is recommended that you refrain from riba (interest) because it is haram, but in the US it is very difficult to avoid this, for many Muslims. Everything in this country is run by interest, but we TRY our best to avoid it as much as possible. I could not afford to pay for my home in full cash, I had to take a loan that charged interest. Now I am learning that new Muslim establishments are being made to dance around riba. Only Allah knows our intentions. May Allah guide us all to the right path.

And Allah Knows Best

walaakum salaam

 

[justoneofmillion]

assalamu aleikum brother she is talking about hanging out jocking playing and getting informal with a kaffir not a muslim brother thousands have died to defend the honor of that hijab she is wearing and other thousands are willing to give their lives to protect what it symbolyses and if anyone tells me that `s allowed in islam depending of where you are or tells me that`s a culture matter than am sorry not to agree and i won`t let anybody tell me about my deen other than allah swt and his last and final messenger pbuh! wassalam



INFORMAL CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SINDBAD starting to get mad

 

[bayareabilal]

not timid

I love reading such energy filled POSTS. I think the high school girl's question has been answered but just in case it hasn't let me try and recap what has been posted in response to her initial question. But first, before that let me say one thing...she mentioned that the muslim boys in her school look at her funny and I guess they kind of scowl at her when they see her talking to the nonmuslim boy. My first reaction to that was that they are doing that not because they think she is doing something haram but because they are jealous and/or not minding their own business. The human brain processes 2,000,000 pieces of information per minute so in all actuality I really have no idea what those boys are thinking or why they look at her funny when they see her talking to the nonmuslim boys. Now---about the recap, we heard many different opinions and points of views and I can answer her quetion truthfully because I am not a scholar but I can say that it does not matter if you are black or white, brown or yellow, from an arab country or a christian country....the laws of Islam and how we are to act are universal. That is part of the wisdom within them. Learn it and do your best to follow it. Good luck to you sister and dont get discouraged...after all it is between you and Allah. Peace be with you young one!!

 

[TheHumbleWun]

assalamu aleikum brother she is talking about hanging out jocking playing and getting informal with a kaffir not a muslim brother thousands have died to defend the honor of that hijab she is wearing and other thousands are willing to give their lives to protect what it symbolyses and if anyone tells me that `s allowed in islam depending of where you are or tells me that`s a culture matter than am sorry not to agree and i won`t let anybody tell me about my deen other than allah swt and his last and final messenger pbuh! wassalam



INFORMAL CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SINDBAD starting to get mad

Salaamalikum brother,

I would just like to know your opinion and position on this situation. I work in a environment where there are no Muslims. My co-workers are non-Muslim. My supervisor is a Chinese lady and is also a non-Muslim. She JOKES and talks informal about what she did over the weekend (with her husband and kids) around with me sometimes, as do some of my other co-workers, what should I do? Should I not laugh? Should I tell them I can not interact with non-Muslims, non-Muslim women? When do I know when she crosses the line? Is it permissable at work? What about my position relative to my supervisor, I am just a staff--If I tell her I can not joke around with you because brother JustOneOfMillion told me, would that affect my employment? Should I consider a new career?

Sorry didn't mean to overwhelm you LOL...just want to see where you are coming from.

My humble opinion again- it depends on your intentions and knowing yourself and your situation. No need to get mad brother, we are all here to learn

walaakum salaam

 

[Mrmuslim]

salaam alikom

Islam dosnt say dont be nice with other non muslim, and I recommend every one who have such an issue is to go to your local mosque and present your issue or question to your Imam and describe your situation to him he will be able to answer you more correctly instead of depending on his/her opinion.

The Imam or the shiekh will be more understading for your situation and which country you are in.

wa salaam alikom

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

Assalamu alaikum Brothers and Sisters.

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10348

 

[Mrmuslim]

Salaam Alikom

I hope very one in good state of Iman inshallah,

This for every one,from now on inshallah if you have good advise for brother or sister you are most welcom to post them, as long as your advise is in a good way and manners any rude post will be D E L E T E D no exception..it dosnt matter how good your intention is if you dont know how to advise people it will be better for you to keep your advise to your self and dont post it. You rude reply can have a bad reaction on people and they will reject your advise and you will be responsible in front of Allah s.w.t.

So it will be B E T T E R if we dont know how to address the issue or how to advise in good manner with wisdom to stay Q U I E T.

Any rude or harsh post will be deleted from now on, some people have good intention but because of thier attitude they making people uncomfortable on here.

This how the prophet peace be up on him advised people

was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: Whilst we were in the mosque with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a Bedouin came and started to urinate in the mosque. The companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Stop, stop!” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Do not interrupt him; leave him.” So they left him alone until he had finished urinating, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called him and said to him: “These mosques are not the place for urinating or for anything filthy, rather they are for the remembrance of Allaah, prayer and reading Qur’aan.” Then he told a man to bring a bucket of water and he threw it over (the urine).​

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 217; Muslim 285.



Wa salaam alikom

 

[justoneofmillion]

Salaamalikum brother,

I would jjust like to know your opinion and position on this situation. I work in a environment where there are no Muslims. My co-workers are non-Muslim. My supervisor is a Chinese lady and is also a non-Muslim. She jokes around with me sometimes as do some of my other co-workers, what should I do? Should I not laugh? Should I tell them I can not interact with non-Muslims, non-Muslim women? When do I know when she crosses the line? Is it permissable at work? What about my position relative to my supervisor, I am just a staff--If I tell her I can not joke around with you because brother JustOneOfMillion told me, would that affect my employment? Should I consider a new career?

Sorry didn't mean to overwhelm you LOL...just want to see where you are coming from.

My humble opinion again- it depends on your intentions and knowing yourself and your situation. No need to get mad brother, we are all here to learn

walaakum salaam

assalamu aleikum;
your situation is different than hers dear brother, you are talking about

friendly relations with colleagues at work a relation which is important for the

well functioning of you company so at the same time for your own benefit .

but the sister asked a specific question on what islam had to say about

interacting in a non formal way with a non muslim buddy ,and not what i

myself would abrogate to satisfy the moods of anybody!

brother you are not a teenage girl!!!

we were all teenagers ,we remember those days!as allah swt has made us
the way that we are he knows better what is best for us.and a simple friendly genuine relation can turn into something other than we intended it to be at the beginning. i myself live in europe which is far more liberal about certain things than the more kind of conservative American way,so by being a student i have to interact with non muslims all day girls or boys old grumpy or short!!!!!!!!! but as i wanna live according to islam`s teaching this doesn`t mean that am going to spend my midday pause with a non muslim girl or hang around with her around the corner all the time joke and play and tell her about the moon and the beautiful gardens!!!!! (alhamdulillah not anymore )because i know that it can lead to no good ! if you don`t wanna get a cold put up a sweater on!

so brother if you wanna know where am coming from i will let you know that i have left everything for islam everything to save my own soul by obeying and not arguing allah`s orders even though it was not obvious(broke a universal record deal of 7 years after studying classical music my whole life composing and writing songs break dance and all that rubbishthrown away allhamdulillah)and now alhamdulillah am carrying on my studies to get my university degree inschallah two more years.see how brave i have become!!so even though am not perfectand may allahswt forgive and guide me but i wanna worship allahswt for the good no half way!and i know what can lead to no good or not regardless of how pious you may be especially as a teenager however brother you and i are not teenagers anymore (we are being more of "screenagers" at this moment long live TTI!!!!!!!)and we should stop speculating on who ate the famous apple or not! so may allah swt lead everyone of us to the straight path and help us being better muslims learn from and inspire others through our behaviour and good intentions inschallah

wassalam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barkatuhu



SINDBAD trying to love his brothers and sister

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Assalamu alaykum,

You are rude so I real advice you to apologize brother yasser_khan1210 to the sister she doesn’t need pity but advice can’t give one don’t write. I am an Muslim and I talk to Islam brother and I don’t see that as a wrong thing. I believe it depends on your intention. I also agree with Brother Wulf. Brother Wulf I real hope you don’t make this your last post because I believe if you know person with wise you can learn from them. The older you are the more wiser. I apologize if you felt offend.

P.S please try not to offend others and if you do apologize that is if you are adult not a child. Only adult knows how to apologize! I number one am sorry it I offend anyone in this website and hopeful you can forgive me!

Wassalaam,