What should one do when in love?

[farhopes]

however it would be interesting know how people define love anyone?
:salam2:

In my humble opinion, I think that Allah created that feeling of love in people's hearts to ensure construction and continuity of life on this universe. That is because if you do not have that strong feeling towards your wife and she has the same feeling towards you, you both will never decide to build a house and have some children to toil for raising them and exhaust yourselves with a huge load of responsibilities.

There are many different kinds of love. It is as different as people themselves. For some people it is just the physical desire and nothing more, for others it is beauty and external appearance, for others it is the serenity, peace, understanding, containment and tranquillity they enjoy with their spouses. Finally it is a strong feeling that pushes you to continue your life willingly despite its huge responsibilites. Sobhan Allah, it is from Allah's great signs!!!!

 

[saffanah]

That was a good question sister palestine. Love is a blessing from Allah for humankind. And Islam not forbid love between man and woman. But Islam has a very beautiful way in guiding people who is fall in love to the sraight way. When you love someone then you're next target is to get him/her close to you (means as your girl/boyfriend), isn't it? But when you do that you would break the Islamic rule, 'cause why? by having boy/girlfriend it would lead you to zina which is haram. (you know exactly what a lover use to do, right?), Islam told you to lower your gaze when you're in front of strange man/woman, not to shake/touch people who is not your mahram, not to go alone with man/woman who is not your mahram.then could you do that when you're alone with your boy/girlfriend?. That's why the prophet said us to get married. So, what should you do when you're not ready to marry someone (perhaps you're a student or you're not working yet--for man--) these are the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam told us: you should fasting 'coz it can calm your emotion and desire. Another tips: do not have any contact with him so often (meeting,chatting, mailing,etc), lower your gaze anytime you see him, because if you follow one gaze to another gaze then syaithan would make you go astray.
Those are my suggestion, sister. But if you're ready to get married, then find the third person (it would be good if he is your mahram, or maybe the imam of your mosque) to asked him/her whether he/she has intention to get married with you.
May Allah stenghten our iman/faith, protect us, and bless us. Amin

 

[Proud_2b_Muslim]

:salam2:
I think we should not love some one before marriage , cause love will come after you know a person not before that and since knowing another person ( opposite sex ) is haram you should not know him/her so that love wil not come till you got married , thats only my opinion

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

:salam2:



There is a difference between love and romance. Romance, if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Besides, the concept of love in Islam is very unique, when a Muslim loves something or somebody, it must be for the sake of Allah; the same applies to hatred. Islam teaches us that marriage is the finest, purest and permissible relationship that should exist between a male and female; it should be the goal that they both have in mind. There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says: "Three qualities, if found in a person, will help him have perfect faith: Having Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, as the most beloved ones, loving a person only for the sake of Allah and hating getting back to Kufr (disbelief) the way one hates to be thrown into fire." That means love is a fruit of piety. Love without piety is mischief.

There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is practiced in the West. There is no dating or living in de facto relationship or trying each other out before committing to each other. There is to be no physical relationship whatsoever before marriage. The romantic notions that occupy the mind of young people often have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the West to understand this point. To give an example, the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on. Yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not result in an everlasting bond between two people.

In most cases, romance and love die out very quickly when couple find themselves with the real world. The unrealistic expectation that young people have is what often contributes to the failure of their relationship.

The West makes fun of the Islamic way of marriage, in particular arranged marriage. Yet, the irony is that statistically arranged marriages prove to be more successful and lasting than romantic types of courtship. This is because people are blinded by the physical attraction and thus do not choose the compatible partner. Love blinds people to the extent of overlooking potential problems in the relationship. There is an Arabic proverb that says: "Love is blind, it makes zucchini turn into okra". Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions, but rather on critical evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why such marriage often proves successful.

From an Islamic perspective, in choosing a partner, the most important factor that should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah). The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended the suitors to see each other before going through with marriage procedures. That is very important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection, when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other.

This ruling does not contradict the Qur'anic verse that says, “…believing men and women should lower their gaze” (An-Nur: 30). The couple, however, are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the Hadith says: "When a man and a woman are together alone, the Shaytan (Satan) makes their third." One of the conditions of a valid marriage is the consent of the couple. Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people. The choice of a partner by a Muslim virgin girl is subject to the approval of the father or guardian. This is to safeguard her welfare and interests. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until she has consented to that and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is sought." The Prophet did nullify the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had married her against her wishes.

Though love is something nice, and it is recommended for a man to marry a woman whom he loves, because the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

“There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih Al-Jami`, 5200)

However, this love should not be overwhelming and cause a person to forget other characteristics which he should look for in the person he wants to marry. The most important characteristic is religious commitment. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, says:

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her commitment to religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Agreed-upon Hadith).

:salam2:

 

[OsMaN_93]

Ibn al-Jawzi narrated that Ibn ‘Aa’ishah said: I said to a doctor who was highly proficient: What is love? He said: The occupation of an empty heart. [Dhamm al-Hawa 290].

:salam2:

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum
The real love is the only Love for Allah swt ,the rest is just all temporary feelings that people feel .Love is more then just dreaming about person or saying "I love you" .
To love means to be patient with each other ,to forgive mistakes ,to learn from each other and to help each other ,to go thru all difficulties together .But the base for all of it is the love for Allah swt and marriage for the sake of Allah only...
This is how I define it ..

waaleikum salam

 

[massi]

:salam2:
Good question and I hope there are good answers ....:lol: :lol: :lol:​

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

In my humble life I have discovered many kinds of love. Love is what happens in a marriage after the newness becomes old. Love is being able to find peace in the same old same old. Love is the strength one partner gives to the other in bad times and love is the warmth one partner gives to the other in good times. Love is acceptance of one's circumstances without blaming the other. Love is recognizing that this too shall pass. Love is patience and kindness. Love is the present, not the past nor the future. It is.
As for a woman loving a man..there are phases. There is the primary phase that is very physical. We need that for the sake of children. It is fun and many can not get beyond that phase. It is narrow in its scope. You want to be with that person at all times..it is possessive; it has to be for the sake of developing a family.
Another facet of love is the spiritual bonding of two souls. But that is the topic of another post.