why divorce rate high

[a_brother]

:salam2: brothers and sisters

i was wondering why is divorce within muslims in america is high?!???!?!?!?
i would guess a basic answer would be that a couple don't follow the way of our prophet (SAW), but that's a broad answer... i would guess that there is certain problems sisters and brothers fall into that is frequent in our society today in different locations in the world...

here in america... is it because living expenses are high where husband and wife end up working; therefore, everyone is independent and no family time and if there is any problem, since both are independent, every one take there "own high way" ... in contrast, a wife depends on the husband (to provide means of living) and husband depends on the wife (for love and care)
...

could you comment from your own experience, someone else experience, or just what you think...

 

[dianek]

I think that Muslim couples in America tend to be mixtures of different cultures (American Wife/foreign husband) and those cultural issues make marriage very hard to continue. Also, yes, a lot of the times the women end up taking care of their own affairs and being independent but this should be blamed on the man for not being able to provide in a way in which allows the wife to be just a wife.

 

[Mohsin]

I think ....

I think its coz Muslims marry ... or do you divorce the living together boy friends and girl friends ???

P.S. Just kidding !

 

[Ibn_hassan]

The big problem is that the ones who divorced didn't understand each other before they got married. or there's was a problem in terms or family finance.

 

[kecman]

The big problem is that the ones who divorced didn't understand each other before they got married. or there's was a problem in terms or family finance.

Who can understand a girl which has been everything but not normal in her pre-marriage life?

 

[dianek]

Who can understand a girl which has been everything but not normal in her pre-marriage life?

Can you clarify your question? I don't understand what you are saying.....are you saying that How can one understand a girl that to whom EVERYTHING has been normal (haram etc.) in her premarital life?

 

[*Saniyah*]

:salam2:

This western system, where both spouses need to work hard to support family and state or "street" is educating their children, might be also cause of divorces.

 

[kecman]

Can you clarify your question? I don't understand what you are saying.....are you saying that How can one understand a girl that to whom EVERYTHING has been normal (haram etc.) in her premarital life?

Yes, exactly that.

 

[dianek]

Well if you aren't willing to accept her and all her baggage, don't get involved with her. But if she were to become Muslim, all her past sins are cleaned away with Allah, so who is a man to continue to hold those sins against her. You shouldn't marry an American woman if you her past bothers you.

 

[Al Qassimi]

If I am mistaken, please correct me

Isn't there a Hadith that speak of divorce rate being High when the Day of Judgment is near? If this is true, is this Hadith accurte?

 

[najbc]

Well if you aren't willing to accept her and all her baggage, don't get involved with her. But if she were to become Muslim, all her past sins are cleaned away with Allah, so who is a man to continue to hold those sins against her. You shouldn't marry an American woman if you her past bothers you.

yeah, you tell sisters. i think the divorce has something to do with the too much tv sisters and brothers watch and they do not get what they expect from each other or who/how they do not fulfill how their dream husband or wive should be.

 

[kafeelah1]

Assalam alaekun. I am not really sure this is only in America now. Recently, i've been hearing many brothers and sisters asking on divorce on an islamic question and answer programme in UK.
My only advice is that we Muslims should always remember the advice of the Prophet that choosing a partner is best based on religion. Also, we should note and remember that Divorce is one thing that Allah (swt) allows but really dislikes!

 

[Abel213]

:salam2:

To the OP, I think that the Muslim divorce rate(around 30% is much much lower than the overall American divorce rate(50%?) and it probably has to do with the fact that a very large number of Muslims in the U.S. are not actually practicing and have developed/adopted American lifestyles.

We have to remember that the Sahaba were all converts to Islam and they did things in their previous lives that were haram but they were also the most loved in the eyes of Allah. Converting to Islam requires large sacrifice and Allah recognizes that and I've read that converts have much greater rewards in store for them by Allah in addition to wiping away all the past sins. Personally I don't think I would marry American because of family issues and the fact that we actually come with way more cultural baggage than they do could overwhelm some girls.

 

[aishajor]

i think its just because people don't have repeat for each other....... one takes the other for granted..... and is ungreatful for there blessing



may allah guild all of us

 

[sal12]

Salam Alaykom,

The reason behind high divorce in America has to do with shallow understanding of literlist interpretations of Islam WHICH ARE NOT FELT IN THE HEART. Islam is not just legalism...which teaches everything s bidah/sunnah. If you read about the Prophet (pbuh) he treated the newly converted Sahaba in a kind and caring manner. Many of the Sahaba still drank Alcohol and did "un-Islamic" things, but it took a long time before the Quranic revelation was given to Muhammad (pbuh) that said Alcohol is haram. And even after the revelation, he had tolerance for those who still drank and used teaching by example rather than coercion. This is the problem with Muslim Marriages...here.

People think that the literalist interpretations of Islam can be forced on a wife or husband coming from a Non-Muslim backround...this does not work.

The person has to have Islam in their heart...legalism is not the heart, it is just the legal cold interpretation of Islamic matters that cannot be forced. The soul needs to understand it, before the body can. Once the soul is educated, the the body follows the soul. The Soul does not follow the body (physical legalistic literalist approach).

Allah (swt) knows best.

i agree with this, dont know why but it seems to makes sense

 

[Mrmuslim]

salam alikom

It seems most of you just trying to write your point of view, and just keep arguing and going in circle on each other.

Its simple and easy

Follow Islamic manners and learn the life of the prophet peace be up on him
and the way he use to deal with his wives.

Either make a good advise or keep your words for your self I have said that more than 10 times so far on TTI and still some people have same attitiude and trying to be rude to each other,

And just to clearfy one point, when some one become Muslim and accept Islam or some repent from his sins Allah siad in Quran he forgive all thier past sins so who are we as human to hold any one for what they did in the past.

Allah said in Quran Surrah 3 Ayah 135-136

{وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنْفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَنْ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَى مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ (135) أُولَئِكَ جَزَاؤُهُمْ مَغْفِرَةٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَجَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا وَنِعْمَ أَجْرُ الْعَامِلِينَ‏} [آل عمران: 135-136].​

[135] And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive sins except Allah? And are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done.

[136] For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath; an eternal dwelling: how excellent a recompense for those who work (and strive)! ​

and said in surrah 6 Ayah 54

وَإِذَا جَاءَكَ الَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِآيَاتِنَا فَقُلْ سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ كَتَبَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَى نَفْسِهِ الرَّحْمَةَ أَنَّهُ مَنْ عَمِلَ مِنْكُمْ سُوءًا بِجَهَالَةٍ ثُمَّ تَابَ مِنْ بَعْدِهِ وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَنَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ​

[54] When those come to thee who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you; your Lord hath inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy: verily, if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented, and amended (his conduct), lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful​

."


Try to be nice to each other take a deep breath search in the seerah of the prophet peace be up on him and then advise each other.

For some people who are in U.S if you are married or about to get married a real good class offered by Almghrib called Fiqh of Love it offered in more than once city in U.S try just to attened this class and learn from the seerah of the prophet peace be up on him how to deal with your husband or your wife.

http://www.almaghrib.org/seminars.php

any rude comments will be deleted and I will ban any one say anything against some one else. So its your choice, its not only on this thread it will be in all thread from now on, dosnt matter to me either its a sister or a brother

And I ask other moderators to follow the same insha Allah and again to read this thread,

No Dispute among the Believers​