Tasnima Khan
New Member
As Salaam Wa Aliakum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu brothers and sisters in Islam, i need some help if you don't mind. Basically i have had deppression in the past and to an extent where i cut myself and stuff and sometimes i still get stressed out really quick i find things hard t cope with if i hear something about Islam and that im not doing it, it makes me feel really bad and my heart starts ounding and stuff and all sorts of stuff go through my mind. These few weeks i have been feeling really down and stuff and i have took 5 sleeping tablets at once just to make my self try and sleep over it to try n forget but as soon as i wake u i feel worse. I cannot help it another thing which is bugging me recently is that when i watch Islamic lectures a thing comes in my mind making me think oh am i listening to the right person or is this person good or is the otehr lecturer more better than this one islamically so basically im comparing lecturers and thinking that one is better than another in terms of islamic knowledge and i fear that im listening to the wrong ones and that i will get punished for it since im listening to that one instead of the other one who is better in knowledge probably. If anyone is curious, i really love to listen to Nouman Ali Khan i love his lectures and the way he talks and explains things and i feel such peace at my heart when i listen to them, but then i have read some articles and stuff which make me confused by saying that you have to be careful where you get your information from as the person you are getting from has to be very good and pious and has to have quite a lot of things and now im really scared. I keep on having this feeling like im doing something wrong and that i will go in the hellfire for following these people who i love to hear lectures from and i feel peace in my heart and my love for Islam grows. Can someone please tell me whats wrong with me am i going to go hellfire !!!!! i seriously have this urge of overdosing myself when these things happen so please someone help me :'(