Angela Hillyer
Junior Member
Salam Aliakom brothers and sisters
Just wanted to share this beautiful story with you all.
These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink.
'Abd al-Malik said: "When 'Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobiity during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn 'Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came to her, to advice her, and said:
'O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qaulities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
O' my daughter if a women were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, buw women were created for men just as men were created for them
O' my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, were you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
'Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provison and a reminder for you. 'The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.
'The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell and look good: he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
'The fifth ans sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
'The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
'The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
'Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows lack of judgement, while the latter will make him unhappy.
'Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.
'Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (swt) choose what is best for you and protect you
She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success.
This advice clearly included everything one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl, or any girl, needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every yound girl who is about to get married.
Hope you enjoyed reading this.. I love to read it all the time. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.
Wasalam
Just wanted to share this beautiful story with you all.
These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink.
'Abd al-Malik said: "When 'Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobiity during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn 'Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came to her, to advice her, and said:
'O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qaulities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
O' my daughter if a women were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, buw women were created for men just as men were created for them
O' my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, were you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
'Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provison and a reminder for you. 'The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.
'The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell and look good: he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
'The fifth ans sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
'The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
'The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
'Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows lack of judgement, while the latter will make him unhappy.
'Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.
'Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (swt) choose what is best for you and protect you
She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success.
This advice clearly included everything one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl, or any girl, needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every yound girl who is about to get married.
Hope you enjoyed reading this.. I love to read it all the time. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.
Wasalam
:salam2:
