cmelbouzaidi
Junior Member
:salam2: I just hope this might be helpful to some of my young sisters and brothers 
It ain't all pretty, but enjoy Sister Sarah, Shy Hijabi inspired me to share my story
Looking back, as I reflect on my life experiences to date, it kind of makes sense that I came to Islam, Subhan'Allah. However, had you asked me when I was a teenager if this was a path I was considering, you would surely have received a prompt "no".
I was born in Dublin, Ireland from an Irish father and an English mother. That was kind of rough at times as our house was sometimes "egged" and the neighbourhood wall read "Brits out, peace in!".... My family is quite the motley crew with a lot of international experience. My father was born in Port Said, Egypt and lived in Cairo til he was 11 and his parents were English teachers there. I remember as a child my father's stories from Egypt, picking mangoes from the trees, throwing mudballs at the rich English ex-pats as they played tennis in the posh private clubs in Cairo, lol, and his fondness for the Egyptian people, etc., etc.. When he was a young man, Dad developed a great love for Spain and devoted his life to studying and teaching Spanish literature, in particular that of the Golden Age.
I attended a convent school in Dublin for my whole elementary and secondary education. It did not inspire me to think about God at all. My parents were not religious either and my father used to delight in filling in the census form with "atheist" checked beside "religion". We were the family on the block that did not dress up for Easter Sunday and we were the only people I knew that did not go to welcome Pope John Paul II on his first visit to Ireland in 1979. As a toddler, my father used to take me to mass on occasion but he was clearly not interested in the sermon and would sit reading the Irish Times. We were sort of misfits in the local community. When I was 17, my parents got separated (there was no divorce in Ireland at the time) and it was a very tough time for many reasons too painful and too personal to share. I became very involved in helping raise my younger brother who was only 6 at the time as my mother had left. I finished secondary school after having been a bit dysfunctional when my parents were going through their worst and got settled into university studying French and Italian (languages came easily to me). I used to see Malaysian or Indonesian hijabi Muslim sisters about campus and they always impressed me with their mild manners and radiant smiles.
Summer of 1988, I set on a quest to spend the summer in Milan, Italy to immerse myself in the beautiful Italian language. I was 18. It was a lot rougher than I thought it would be and it was hard to be a young naive Irish girl in Milan, a somewhat beautiful but cruel, judgemental and unforgiving city with a very bad heroin problem side-by-side the most luxurious fashion and wealth I had ever seen. I could not find a job for a couple of months and I was a stubborn teenager. The little bit of money I had quickly dwindled and I found myself penniless and looking for somewhere safe to lay my head down to rest at night. I met four Irish girls at the youth hostel in San Siro (three were fine art students and one was a cook) and I joined them on this discovery of Milan as we were all broke and jobless. Long story short, we ended up staying in empty trains at Milan's Stazione Centrale and taking a tram to a poor house every day to wash and eat. The place was run by very sweet Franciscan monks and was frequented by some very poor people, some people with terrible drug or alcohol problems and a lot of North African and Senegalese youths who were poor immigrants in a strange city. The ladies ate on one side of the hall and the men on the other side and the Muslims would frequently pass along their ham or salami to us European girls. There was another church that provided food followed by a mass and then Islamic prayer and this had an impact on me, also. I never really spoke to any of the arabs of Senegalese people at the poor house. However, I did get to know quite a few Italians, from heroin junkies to alcoholics to just plain poor and everything in between. I watched young people arrive in Milan from country towns and go rapidly downhill before my eyes, falling into vices and "professions" that no-one would want for a loved one. It is a terrible thing to look into the eyes of a heroin addict as they are dead like those of a dead fish, glazed, dull and unresponsive.
I might add at this point that I did have a return ticket in my pocket to return to Dublin at any point but I could not bring myself to. I was there for a reason and had to continue on...
Eventually I found a job delivering leaflet advertisements to apartment buildings and although it was not a fun job and was badly paid, it helped get me and one of the Irish girls a little bit of cash towards food and lodging. We got to know some Egyptians who were most kind to us. Although they may not have been practising in the deen, looking back, still something of their respect and awe of Allah had a lasting impression on me.
After that summer, when I returned to Dublin, I started thinking about life and God and destiny and all that. Catholicism had not done much for me and so I set about exploring other religions, "eastern" religions. I went to the university library and borrowed two books... The Holy Qur'an in Arabic with English translation and a book about buddhism called "Buddhakarata", if I remember correctly. While the book about buddhism was beautifully illustrated and contained beautiful poetry about nature, it did not give me any direction. The Qur'an on the other hand, gave me nothing but clear direction, I was almost afraid every time I read more! It was clear to me that this truly was the word of the Creator, without a doubt! In a way, I was half sorry that I had made the discovery as how could I not react and change my ways when faced with The Truth?!!!! Well, I finished my second year in college and decided to return to Italy for a year teaching. This time I lived in a little town close to the Adriatic called Pesaro and I had a nice job and nice lodging, etc. Eventually, I met the man that would become my husband and he was from Morocco. As we talked about marriage, I told him that I wanted our children to be raised with one religion in the house and I wanted to embrace Islam. I attended a few classes and lectures and continued reading Qur'an. I took my shahada when I was 21 and was married shortly after.
We lived in Dublin for a few years and then moved to New York. Sadly, we were caught up in dunya fluff stuff (jobs, materialism, etc.) and Islam was reduced to no alcohol, no pork and fasting during Ramadan for a number of years in our ignorant lives. Then we moved to Florida. My son, Mounir, was born in December 2001 and I was the only Muslim in my workplace so I did get asked some odd questions after 9/11 and I was able to hold my own and defend the faith but I still was lazy about fulfilling my obligations as a Muslim. In February 2005, after a pregnancy that nearly cost me my life, my daughter was born. My mother-in-law from Morocco volunteered to come and stay with us to take care of Zeinab as we were both working full time. She ended up staying for two years and it was a great start for Zeinab. It also forced us to discover masjids in the area and we came across the most wonderful and beautiful small Islamic community just 15 minutes from our house!! It was largely made up of Egyptians and Palestinians and these were the most fantastic people I and my husband had ever met!! We became like one big family and before you know it my husband was off to the masjid every Friday, off there on Saturday and Sunday mornings to pray fajr with the guys and we had family gatherings on a regular basis. One of the Palestinian sisters, Noura, had a beautiful way of answering my many questions and we became close. I finally found myself getting back into praying and with a thirst to learn more about Islam, Alhamdulillah. I started going to Sunday school at the masjid with my son and sitting in on the class to learn arabic and Qur'an recitation. My son has a very good ear, Masha Allah, and soon was reciting beautiful surahs and really identifying with being a Muslim like never before. I quit my job in January 2008 because of a company relocation and my daughter was just about to turn 3.... and I finally started wearing hijab. Mom-in-law had already returned to Morocco but she had left us a beautiful gift.... my daughter had a lovely healthy start to life and we were now truly becoming Muslims We decided to move to France to be closer to family in Ireland, here and Morocco and here we are just outside Paris
Our search for knowledge continues and we try to improve every day and do justice for our kids so they know what Islam is all about. Being a hijabi in Paris is by no means a novelty, there are hijabi sisters everywhere, Alhamdulillah. However, being a fairly obvious revert with my Irish looks does get some bewildered looks and sometimes some questions! I am working on improving my French which I hardly used in the USA, lol, as I love to represent as a servant of ALLAH and to do dawah and help clear up so many misconceptions people have about Islam.
One final note..... I just wanted to say that prayer did not come that naturally to me at first as I grew up in a prayerless household so it has been a struggle. I had taken my shahada years before I started doing my compulsory prayers. I could have died during this time, especially bearing in mind how sick I was when I was expecting my daughter. There was no excusable reason for procrastinating for so long. What a sorry state I would have been in heading to the grave after a life without worship of ALLAH! Now I have to ask ALLAH's forgiveness for my sins and hope that I will have time to make up in service for time squandered when I blew off Hell as only for sick murderers or pedophiles! That was Shaytan working hard on leading me astray and I was weak and an easy target!! My dear brothers and sisters, do not delay your prayers and service of the One True God, ALLAH. Do not be late for the most important appointments we have every day, Salat, our time, one on one with our amazing Creator, ALLAH, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
It ain't all pretty, but enjoy Sister Sarah, Shy Hijabi inspired me to share my story Looking back, as I reflect on my life experiences to date, it kind of makes sense that I came to Islam, Subhan'Allah. However, had you asked me when I was a teenager if this was a path I was considering, you would surely have received a prompt "no".
I was born in Dublin, Ireland from an Irish father and an English mother. That was kind of rough at times as our house was sometimes "egged" and the neighbourhood wall read "Brits out, peace in!".... My family is quite the motley crew with a lot of international experience. My father was born in Port Said, Egypt and lived in Cairo til he was 11 and his parents were English teachers there. I remember as a child my father's stories from Egypt, picking mangoes from the trees, throwing mudballs at the rich English ex-pats as they played tennis in the posh private clubs in Cairo, lol, and his fondness for the Egyptian people, etc., etc.. When he was a young man, Dad developed a great love for Spain and devoted his life to studying and teaching Spanish literature, in particular that of the Golden Age.
I attended a convent school in Dublin for my whole elementary and secondary education. It did not inspire me to think about God at all. My parents were not religious either and my father used to delight in filling in the census form with "atheist" checked beside "religion". We were the family on the block that did not dress up for Easter Sunday and we were the only people I knew that did not go to welcome Pope John Paul II on his first visit to Ireland in 1979. As a toddler, my father used to take me to mass on occasion but he was clearly not interested in the sermon and would sit reading the Irish Times. We were sort of misfits in the local community. When I was 17, my parents got separated (there was no divorce in Ireland at the time) and it was a very tough time for many reasons too painful and too personal to share. I became very involved in helping raise my younger brother who was only 6 at the time as my mother had left. I finished secondary school after having been a bit dysfunctional when my parents were going through their worst and got settled into university studying French and Italian (languages came easily to me). I used to see Malaysian or Indonesian hijabi Muslim sisters about campus and they always impressed me with their mild manners and radiant smiles.
Summer of 1988, I set on a quest to spend the summer in Milan, Italy to immerse myself in the beautiful Italian language. I was 18. It was a lot rougher than I thought it would be and it was hard to be a young naive Irish girl in Milan, a somewhat beautiful but cruel, judgemental and unforgiving city with a very bad heroin problem side-by-side the most luxurious fashion and wealth I had ever seen. I could not find a job for a couple of months and I was a stubborn teenager. The little bit of money I had quickly dwindled and I found myself penniless and looking for somewhere safe to lay my head down to rest at night. I met four Irish girls at the youth hostel in San Siro (three were fine art students and one was a cook) and I joined them on this discovery of Milan as we were all broke and jobless. Long story short, we ended up staying in empty trains at Milan's Stazione Centrale and taking a tram to a poor house every day to wash and eat. The place was run by very sweet Franciscan monks and was frequented by some very poor people, some people with terrible drug or alcohol problems and a lot of North African and Senegalese youths who were poor immigrants in a strange city. The ladies ate on one side of the hall and the men on the other side and the Muslims would frequently pass along their ham or salami to us European girls. There was another church that provided food followed by a mass and then Islamic prayer and this had an impact on me, also. I never really spoke to any of the arabs of Senegalese people at the poor house. However, I did get to know quite a few Italians, from heroin junkies to alcoholics to just plain poor and everything in between. I watched young people arrive in Milan from country towns and go rapidly downhill before my eyes, falling into vices and "professions" that no-one would want for a loved one. It is a terrible thing to look into the eyes of a heroin addict as they are dead like those of a dead fish, glazed, dull and unresponsive.
I might add at this point that I did have a return ticket in my pocket to return to Dublin at any point but I could not bring myself to. I was there for a reason and had to continue on...
Eventually I found a job delivering leaflet advertisements to apartment buildings and although it was not a fun job and was badly paid, it helped get me and one of the Irish girls a little bit of cash towards food and lodging. We got to know some Egyptians who were most kind to us. Although they may not have been practising in the deen, looking back, still something of their respect and awe of Allah had a lasting impression on me.
After that summer, when I returned to Dublin, I started thinking about life and God and destiny and all that. Catholicism had not done much for me and so I set about exploring other religions, "eastern" religions. I went to the university library and borrowed two books... The Holy Qur'an in Arabic with English translation and a book about buddhism called "Buddhakarata", if I remember correctly. While the book about buddhism was beautifully illustrated and contained beautiful poetry about nature, it did not give me any direction. The Qur'an on the other hand, gave me nothing but clear direction, I was almost afraid every time I read more! It was clear to me that this truly was the word of the Creator, without a doubt! In a way, I was half sorry that I had made the discovery as how could I not react and change my ways when faced with The Truth?!!!! Well, I finished my second year in college and decided to return to Italy for a year teaching. This time I lived in a little town close to the Adriatic called Pesaro and I had a nice job and nice lodging, etc. Eventually, I met the man that would become my husband and he was from Morocco. As we talked about marriage, I told him that I wanted our children to be raised with one religion in the house and I wanted to embrace Islam. I attended a few classes and lectures and continued reading Qur'an. I took my shahada when I was 21 and was married shortly after.
We lived in Dublin for a few years and then moved to New York. Sadly, we were caught up in dunya fluff stuff (jobs, materialism, etc.) and Islam was reduced to no alcohol, no pork and fasting during Ramadan for a number of years in our ignorant lives. Then we moved to Florida. My son, Mounir, was born in December 2001 and I was the only Muslim in my workplace so I did get asked some odd questions after 9/11 and I was able to hold my own and defend the faith but I still was lazy about fulfilling my obligations as a Muslim. In February 2005, after a pregnancy that nearly cost me my life, my daughter was born. My mother-in-law from Morocco volunteered to come and stay with us to take care of Zeinab as we were both working full time. She ended up staying for two years and it was a great start for Zeinab. It also forced us to discover masjids in the area and we came across the most wonderful and beautiful small Islamic community just 15 minutes from our house!! It was largely made up of Egyptians and Palestinians and these were the most fantastic people I and my husband had ever met!! We became like one big family and before you know it my husband was off to the masjid every Friday, off there on Saturday and Sunday mornings to pray fajr with the guys and we had family gatherings on a regular basis. One of the Palestinian sisters, Noura, had a beautiful way of answering my many questions and we became close. I finally found myself getting back into praying and with a thirst to learn more about Islam, Alhamdulillah. I started going to Sunday school at the masjid with my son and sitting in on the class to learn arabic and Qur'an recitation. My son has a very good ear, Masha Allah, and soon was reciting beautiful surahs and really identifying with being a Muslim like never before. I quit my job in January 2008 because of a company relocation and my daughter was just about to turn 3.... and I finally started wearing hijab. Mom-in-law had already returned to Morocco but she had left us a beautiful gift.... my daughter had a lovely healthy start to life and we were now truly becoming Muslims
We decided to move to France to be closer to family in Ireland, here and Morocco and here we are just outside Paris Our search for knowledge continues and we try to improve every day and do justice for our kids so they know what Islam is all about. Being a hijabi in Paris is by no means a novelty, there are hijabi sisters everywhere, Alhamdulillah. However, being a fairly obvious revert with my Irish looks does get some bewildered looks and sometimes some questions! I am working on improving my French which I hardly used in the USA, lol, as I love to represent as a servant of ALLAH and to do dawah and help clear up so many misconceptions people have about Islam.
One final note..... I just wanted to say that prayer did not come that naturally to me at first as I grew up in a prayerless household so it has been a struggle. I had taken my shahada years before I started doing my compulsory prayers. I could have died during this time, especially bearing in mind how sick I was when I was expecting my daughter. There was no excusable reason for procrastinating for so long. What a sorry state I would have been in heading to the grave after a life without worship of ALLAH! Now I have to ask ALLAH's forgiveness for my sins and hope that I will have time to make up in service for time squandered when I blew off Hell as only for sick murderers or pedophiles! That was Shaytan working hard on leading me astray and I was weak and an easy target!! My dear brothers and sisters, do not delay your prayers and service of the One True God, ALLAH. Do not be late for the most important appointments we have every day, Salat, our time, one on one with our amazing Creator, ALLAH, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
for sharing you story sister.