I FEAR I MITE LEAVE....

[ADAM786]

:salam2:

I FEAR I MITE LEAVE MY WIFE....

COS

MY WIFE IS MY SECOND COUSIN AND SHE SEEM LIKE MY MUM, SISTER AND ATUNY.

U UNDERSTAND? WHEN I KISSING HER LIKE MY MUM OR SISTER...:astag:

I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH COS I CARE AND RESPECT HER SO MUCH.

SHE IS BEAUIFUL GIRL :ma: BUT....SHE SEEM LIKE MY CLOSE FAMILY LIKE MUM, SISTER OR ATUNY... I THINK I NEED NEW GIRL BUT I DONT WANT TO LEAVE MY WIFE...I DONT MEAN TO LET HER DOWN....I WANT TO LOVE HER LIKE MY WIFE....HELP ME,

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

 

[Rosheen]

I think you should make dua. I would not advise leaving your wife, you love herso why leave her?

Maybe you two need to spend some quality time together away from the family.

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

How about going for holiday. Just you and her

 

[Bawar]

Assalamu alaikum brother!

First of all, you can't just marry another girl to fulfill your other desires and give your current wife love but not her other needs.

If you want to stop a normal relationship with her as a normal husband and wife then you have to leave her completely so that she can marry someone else.

But i think you can solve the problem in a better way.

As some brothers and sisters suggested, go on holiday together, do things together and spend more time with eachother and don't feel compelled to have physical contacts with her like kissing...till you develope a feeling for it.


May Allah subhanahu wa taala help you both, ameen.

wassalam

 

[muhammad.abdullah]

:salam2:

I FEAR I MITE LEAVE MY WIFE....

COS

MY WIFE IS MY SECOND COUSIN AND SHE SEEM LIKE MY MUM, SISTER AND ATUNY.

U UNDERSTAND? WHEN I KISSING HER LIKE MY MUM OR SISTER...:astag:

I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH COS I CARE AND RESPECT HER SO MUCH.

SHE IS BEAUIFUL GIRL :ma: BUT....SHE SEEM LIKE MY CLOSE FAMILY LIKE MUM, SISTER OR ATUNY... I THINK I NEED NEW GIRL BUT I DONT WANT TO LEAVE MY WIFE...I DONT MEAN TO LET HER DOWN....I WANT TO LOVE HER LIKE MY WIFE....HELP ME,

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

:salam2:
I am sorry brother but didn't you know that it would make you uneasy to be intimate with her before marriage ? If not, why now and if it was this way before you got married, then why did you marry her in the first place. Listen brother, it is not child's play to marry a woman, then think that you are uneasy with her so she should be liberated of the wedlock. I mean so what if she is your cousin, if Allah has made her halal to be your wife then its no problem. And listen carefully and i mean it, DONT LEAVE YOUR WIFE because of this feeling you have. Come on bro, its for the time being, it will go away, as the others suggested, go on holiday, dont think of anyone or anything when you are with her. You love her and she loves you. Allah has made women halal for you with his command, the 'safety valve' of separation is only for situations that cannot be cured.

Ok, plz i am terribly sorry for being harsh. Its just that it gets me emotional. You see i am to be married really really soon inshallah and i just can't take the thought of separation between a couple who love each other just because that wretched shaytan whispers in your ear that she is like your aunty or mom. Say 'aaoo zubillahi minushaytaan-irra jeem'. Recite soorah Falaq and Naas before you go to your wife.

If you love your wife and she loves you, think for a second that how would she feel if you left her for the reason you want to. Its NOT a valid reason to leave ones wife.

For Allah's sake brother, get a GRIP! and stay calm. May Allah be with you.

wasalam

 

[aisha-uk]

:salam2:
I am sorry brother but didn't you know that it would make you uneasy to be intimate with her before marriage ? If not, why now and if it was this way before you got married, then why did you marry her in the first place. Listen brother, it is not child's play to marry a woman, then think that you are uneasy with her so she should be liberated of the wedlock. I mean so what if she is your cousin, if Allah has made her halal to be your wife then its no problem. And listen carefully and i mean it, DONT LEAVE YOUR WIFE because of this feeling you have. Come on bro, its for the time being, it will go away, as the others suggested, go on holiday, dont think of anyone or anything when you are with her. You love her and she loves you. Allah has made women halal for you with his command, the 'safety valve' of separation is only for situations that cannot be cured.

Ok, plz i am terribly sorry for being harsh. Its just that it gets me emotional. You see i am to be married really really soon inshallah and i just can't take the thought of separation between a couple who love each other just because that wretched shaytan whispers in your ear that she is like your aunty or mom. Say 'aaoo zubillahi minushaytaan-irra jeem'. Recite soorah Falaq and Naas before you go to your wife.

If you love your wife and she loves you, think for a second that how would she feel if you left her for the reason you want to. Its NOT a valid reason to leave ones wife.

For Allah's sake brother, get a GRIP! and stay calm. May Allah be with you.

wasalam

Salam Alaikum

MashaAllah brother i totally agree with you, well said..

as all the others have said, try to spend some quality time together as husband and wife, if u can't afford to go on holiday, take her out, put some romance in ur life, InshaAllah...
Marriage is not all about intimacy, that's only a small part of it...

 

[muslimguy]

:salam2:

brother ask Allah (SWT) to get this kind of thought out of your mind. if she is a good sister then don't let her go easily, I 'll tell this there are not a whole lot of good sisters out there, you may get another sister that's gonna make your life misereble. think it all over again.

:salam2:

 

[jabba]

:salam2:
Brother muhammad.abdullah has it 100% right.

Why did you marry her in the first place, I hope it wasn't just because she's beautiful.......
Think about your choice very long and hard and if you don't love her like a wife and more like a family member then you are depriving her of real marital love.....if you stay together feeling like this than you're only hurting eachother

 

[bint S]

:salam2:
I am sorry brother but didn't you know that it would make you uneasy to be intimate with her before marriage ? If not, why now and if it was this way before you got married, then why did you marry her in the first place. Listen brother, it is not child's play to marry a woman, then think that you are uneasy with her so she should be liberated of the wedlock. I mean so what if she is your cousin, if Allah has made her halal to be your wife then its no problem. And listen carefully and i mean it, DONT LEAVE YOUR WIFE because of this feeling you have. Come on bro, its for the time being, it will go away, as the others suggested, go on holiday, dont think of anyone or anything when you are with her. You love her and she loves you. Allah has made women halal for you with his command, the 'safety valve' of separation is only for situations that cannot be cured.

Ok, plz i am terribly sorry for being harsh. Its just that it gets me emotional. You see i am to be married really really soon inshallah and i just can't take the thought of separation between a couple who love each other just because that wretched shaytan whispers in your ear that she is like your aunty or mom. Say 'aaoo zubillahi minushaytaan-irra jeem'. Recite soorah Falaq and Naas before you go to your wife.

If you love your wife and she loves you, think for a second that how would she feel if you left her for the reason you want to. Its NOT a valid reason to leave ones wife.

For Allah's sake brother, get a GRIP! and stay calm. May Allah be with you.

wasalam

exactly! well sed brother.

now that u r married why not ficus on the positives...

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Assalam,

I don't know what to say but i agree with all the posts. Well, i will pray for you all inshallah. Have faith and make duas. Get to know each other as normal couple rather than as cousin who are marry. Good Luck!

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

In addition to the other responses please think about this: you say you are not physically attracted to her. It stands to reason you are comparing her to something you are attracted to. You are not being fair to her as your heart is somewhere else. Be honest to yourself and rid yourself of the stain on your heart. When you are with your wife be fair to her and see who see is and not be upset with her because your heart desires another. Please brother be honest.

 

[Faisal_01]

:salam2:

People here are giving you great advice. You should give the whole taking a vacation with her idea a try. Also I suggest you take up marriage counseling. I have a few friends who married at a young age and for a while felt like they needed to divorce because they were growing apart from their spouses. They took marriage counseling and most of them came to their senses. Though two of my friends still divorced their spouse, at least with the help of marriage counseling, both of the couple was sure about the decision. So give it a shot.

 

[dianek]

UNISLAMIC POV HERE!!!!!!

Here in the US...you DON'T marry family!!!!!!! Atleast not mainstream America. There are so many issues that arrive out of it (children born with issues, etc.)...........BUT you married her and you say you love her! SO work out your own issues with this but don't you dare leave her because of it. She saved herself in marriage for YOU.....then you take her "flower" from her to then up and run because you have some issues with your family relations is ludicrous. GROW UP PLEASE!!!!!! MOVE YOU AND YOUR WIFE AWAY FROM THE HOUSE YOU LIVE IN WITH YOUR FAMILY! You were not ready to get married, you were just feeling lustful so you married. Be a man!