would you be so kind to help?

[palestine]

:salam2: my dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, i really need your advice and help here today. there is a person whom i know that is stuck in a difficult situation. and i want your opinions and advice. ok here it is:

There is a friend of mine who was abused when she was young, but was at the age of puberty. a teacher of her's a madarassa teacher was the one who had abused her. she told her older sister and her father, but the father completely wouldn't believe it and accept it and told the girl to stop lying. the older sister thinks that it was unintentional and that the teacher since he was supposed to be "pious" had not done this to her sister. but the sister who was abused, she forgave the teacher- not to his face, but by heart. she has forgotten the whole thing, and left it behind her. she let go of it, although she has painful memories that left a mark. however the situation has increased, that teacher who had abused the sister is now interested in the this girl's older sister. the older sister has told the girl and asked if it was ok that she talk to the teacher for the interest of marriage. well the younger sister has lied, and said that it would be ok. and since she didn't want to her her older sister and didn't want to separate or keep away the two lovers (teacher and older sister) she has said that it was unintentional and that the teacher did what he did by mistake. she said this to make her sister happy. the older sister is interested in the teacher but doesn't want to be with him if the younger sister is not ok with it. and she also to this day believes that it was unintentional. and she's afraid that if she refuses this man whom they think is pious now that they will fall into fitnah. my question: should the younger sister tell the truth, or should she lie to make her older sister happy and so that the two lovers can be together? and you must know that the younger sister doesn't want this guy in her life ever again, and that she is deeply hurt! your advice would be great. asalamu alaykum.

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

How do they know if any of this is true? How could he do this if they should not have been alone together in the first place? How long ago did this supposedly take place. Sorry to ask so many questions but before this can be answered more information is needed.

 

[a_brother]

:salam2: sister

what does "who was abused when she was young" mean?... abused as loosing virginity or accident touch?

 

[a_brother]

:salam2:

if abuse as loosing virginity, then one can find out by going to a doctor!
if abuse as an accident touch, then Allah-knows best!

 

[Mumin01]

if the younger sister fears that her older sister may be abused by this man such as the way she was abused by him then i see no harm in telling her sister the truth. The younger sister should tell the older sister the truth and tell her that ultimately her marriage is her choice and that the only reason she is telling her this is to not get hurt. There would be a great deal of regret on the younger sisters part of the older sister was to be abused by this man. Prevention is better than a cure


Allah Subhanahu wa talaa knows best


Salaam

 

[palestine]

:salam2:

How do they know if any of this is true? How could he do this if they should not have been alone together in the first place? How long ago did this supposedly take place. Sorry to ask so many questions but before this can be answered more information is needed.

they were not alone together. she had witnesses their too. my friend was in madarassa in the mosque. her and another girl were touched by the teacher. he put all the girls in one room. from the ages of 12-15. he was teaching them prayer, so when they bend down he would slightly push against them and he would grab their breasts under the their hijab. i was with my friend when that had happened. she moved forward when she got suspicious and was in shock. she left he masjid and told her father. but she was forced to go back to the masjid the next days, and the same routine had taken place. the touching had been done once again. this took place about 3 times. the other girl who had also been touched left the masjid and was taken out of it. and she never returned to it again. this teacher not only did that but would beat the children constantly for no reason. even if they did their homework he would just beat them. and trust me it was a hanger. it was him and another teacher who had done this beating thing. i was included in the children whom they would beat with the hanger and so on. peace.

 

[palestine]

:salam2: sister

what does "who was abused when she was young" mean?... abused as loosing virginity or accident touch?

brother abuse as in grabbing her breasts and putting his behind against hers. the girl was not alone with him but with a group of girls whom he was teaching how to pray. i was in the room as well with all the other girls but it so happens that he did that to my friend and another girl. it wasn't an accident touch since this was repeated several times at different days. it was in the house of Allah and this man was still young. he was in highschool at the time but was promoted by the muslim elderly to be the teacher since he had good knowledge of islam. but obiviously some muslims do not act upon islam although they know the laws. wasalam.

 

[amirah80]

they were not alone together. she had witnesses their too. my friend was in madarassa in the mosque. her and another girl were touched by the teacher. he put all the girls in one room. from the ages of 12-15. he was teaching them prayer, so when they bend down he would slightly push against them and he would grab their breasts under the their hijab. i was with my friend when that had happened. she moved forward when she got suspicious and was in shock. she left he masjid and told her father. but she was forced to go back to the masjid the next days, and the same routine had taken place. the touching had been done once again. this took place about 3 times. the other girl who had also been touched left the masjid and was taken out of it. and she never returned to it again. this teacher not only did that but would beat the children constantly for no reason. even if they did their homework he would just beat them. and trust me it was a hanger. it was him and another teacher who had done this beating thing. i was included in the children whom they would beat with the hanger and so on. peace.

:salam2:

Well she clearly has witnesses and this is abuse. I think she should be honest and tell her sister the truth about how she feels. Once the teacher is apart of the family he will consistently be aroung her. We do not know the intentions of the teacher with the older sister. He could want to get closer to the younger sister only Allah knows his intentions. But it seems as if the sister does not believe her. I know she said if the younger sister is ok with it then she would marry him. But if the older sister even asked her such a question she still does not believe her so I do not know if she said anything if that would change. But if she is honest and tells how she feels then that is all she can do. By the father not believing her is another story. Let me ask another question please. Why would the father not believe his daughter? I know you said the teacher is supposedly pious but it shocks me if the daughter has witnesses no one believes her.

 

[palestine]

sister amirah the reason why the father doesn't believe his daughter is because the teacher is a close friend of his. so would someone believe a knowledgeable person, or a girl who they think is just a "little girl".

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

If this was my child I would look into and investigate if she has witness I believe her. I must take her out of the situation and not let her attend that mosque. Better safe than sorry. Also marrying my other daughter would be out of the question. As parents we are here to protect our children. That is the responsiblity Allah gave us and I would follow throu.

Salam Amirah80

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

sister palestine,

The thing in post is "Unintentional". Anything like that could be unintentional ? should we think for 5 mintues . The younger sister should say the truth to her elder sister. The case is for a life . The younger sister does not want to see that man again. Is it possible after the elder sister and the person have married ? could it be !

To my sense, a girl of that age couldn't lie or do bohtaan for such an issue over her teacher. There's possibly something happened, that is distracting her mind,making her uneasy. And the parents should have enquired,rather nullifying her word. on the other hand, If she is doing bohtaan, then it is a big sin. Whatever it is ,the truth must be explored out.The victim must be justified. whether he or she.

In case if teacher is sinner, and If younger sister is telling a lie for the sake of her sister's happiness, then She is not justifying the relation of sister with her. Because, this man might not do good to the elder sister, too. because, what's in bone, can't go out with blood.

For a marraige , one should look into character, to take opinion of others, for the opposite one. So, I think the elder sister should enquire the truth, for its her life, to be ruined or blossomed. The aftershocks can affect her the most, in such a situation.

May Allah give understanding and make things easy for all.

 

[Mumin01]

brother abuse as in grabbing her breasts and putting his behind against hers. the girl was not alone with him but with a group of girls whom he was teaching how to pray. i was in the room as well with all the other girls but it so happens that he did that to my friend and another girl. it wasn't an accident touch since this was repeated several times at different days. it was in the house of Allah and this man was still young. he was in highschool at the time but was promoted by the muslim elderly to be the teacher since he had good knowledge of islam. but obiviously some muslims do not act upon islam although they know the laws. wasalam.

Then let her tell her older sister that she doesnt deserve that filth of a man. It;s better that her heart is broken over a wicked man than to live with him as his wife

 

[muminah92]

asalam w3likum
ya RABII!!!!!!
astagfir allah thats crazy how can he do such a thing wakaman fee bait allah
that is soo haram
i really think that the parents shouldn't just believe the teacher i mean he obviousily isn't gonna admit what he did and y would the girl ever make up a story, just coz she's young that doesn't mean she is lying.
plus the worst thing parents can do is not believing there children that is so offending
my advice is that the girl should inform her sister tell her exactly what happened and also let the witnesses tell her sister what they saw because allaho a3lam what would happen next, i mean how do they know that he isn't playing games with the older sister.
If the older sister still has feelings for him and thinks that he is right for her then she should pray salat al istikhariah
allah knows best
peace

 

[abu'muhammad]

they were not alone together. she had witnesses their too. my friend was in madarassa in the mosque. her and another girl were touched by the teacher. he put all the girls in one room. from the ages of 12-15. he was teaching them prayer, so when they bend down he would slightly push against them and he would grab their breasts under the their hijab. i was with my friend when that had happened. she moved forward when she got suspicious and was in shock. she left he masjid and told her father. but she was forced to go back to the masjid the next days, and the same routine had taken place. the touching had been done once again. this took place about 3 times. the other girl who had also been touched left the masjid and was taken out of it. and she never returned to it again. this teacher not only did that but would beat the children constantly for no reason. even if they did their homework he would just beat them. and trust me it was a hanger. it was him and another teacher who had done this beating thing. i was included in the children whom they would beat with the hanger and so on. peace.

:salam2:
sister,

sorry for not corelating with the thread. I did saw your first post only, and quoted. I found sleeping. hahaha.


The subject is clear. The teacher is of immoral character. Now the elder sister has to decide.

 

[muminah92]

asalam w3likum
astagfir allah that is crazy i can't believe that he would do such a thing wakman fee bait allah istagfir allah
i think that she should inform her sister and tell her exactly what happened and also bring the witnesses to explain to her sister. if her sister still has feelings for him then her younger sister should wish her the best and tell her to pray salat al istakhirah
allah knows best
peace

 

[palestine]

thank you all for your kind replies. i will try and inform my friend inshallah. i just hope i will be able to comfort her inshallah. asalamu alaykum.

 

[nori suja'i]

Wallahu alaam,
i doubt this 'pious' teacher, he could be a fox in disguise.

 

[IslamIsLight]

salamm aleikum
I think she has to tell everything to her sister ,and then she will decide .If it happened many years ago and may be this man repented and has changed and only Allah SWT knows ,but it is the responsibility of a younger sister to tell everything to her older sister ,she must know .May be this man and the younger sister have to talk in presence of older sister and he has to ask forivness from younger sister and that he regret what he did (if it was long time ago when he was young ) ... but the best of course would be if he just leaves the whole family alone and goes somewhereelse for marriage etc...

Allah knows best

waaleikum salam

 

[shichemlydia]

answer.....

salam alikoum,
i am not going to give any fatwa, but,
if it was up to me, i will tell the sister about everything he did, because this man did not feel ashame from allah swt and commited the worst thing up on innocent young girls and more in the house of allah, that is horrible.
i can guess that there is no good thing to hope from this man.
and allah know what we show and we hide,
salam alikoum

 

[Idris16]

THE GIRL SHOULD TELL THE TRUTH TO HER OLDER SISTER. WHAT IF THE TEACHER DOES THAT TO SOMEBODY ELSE WHILE HE'S MARRIED. HE MAY HAVE REPENTED BUT SHE SHOULD TELL THE TRUTH ANYWAY.

ALLAH KNOWS BEST.