wanting more??

zainab.isci

New Member
:salam2:

i have a question ,i want to know what you people think about polygamy?
me,yes i accept ,alhamdoulillah, what is in Quran and in Sunnah. but
my question is WHY some muslim men want for more ?why they want to have a second wife?even they dont seem to need a second wife??for some reason is obviously desires..without thinking the rights of the 1st ..

brother please share your opinions and sisters you please share what whould be your reaction if it happens?
jazakallahu khair for sharing..May Allah swt guide us on the straight path always..ameen.
ma'assalaam
 

zulfikar

Junior Member
I think polygami doesn't have relevan procentation number. I don't know in the other country. But in my country which is the biggest country in the number of muslims. there are only 0,09% polygami marriage.
But of course the polygami wedding would expose rapidity by the media. Then after, everyone in the country know about that wedding, asking why the guy want more wife. A lot of rumor spread in the civilization. This will cause the impression of the people to the polygami wedding.
 

tarannumsamir

Junior Member
POLYGAMY

Question:
Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam? i.e. why is polygamy allowed in Islam?
Answer:

Definition of Polygamy
Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?

The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,"marry only one".
The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.
In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentioned on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.
Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.

Qur’an permits limited polygyny
As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:
"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."
[Al-Qur’an 4:3]
Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.
In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:
"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."
[Al-Qur’an 4:129]
Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.
Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:
i. ‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory
ii. ‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged
iii. ‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed
iv. ‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged
v. ‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden
Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

Average life span of females is more than that of males
By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.
During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

World female population is more than male population
In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.

Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical
Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.
Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.
In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.
Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.
There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

by dr.zakir.naik.
 

Almeftah

Junior Member
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

keep in mind that the main reason for marriage is to fulfil our sexual desires.. If a man cannot get that from his wife then it is his right to have another wife otherwise he would commit adultry.
No matter how faithful we are to Allah and islam each of us has different limits to our desires, some of us are weak while others are not.. and islam is a religion that takes in consideration the tiniest differentiations of mankind.

If you can life a whole life with one woman, others can't.

And same thing goes to women, If a man cannot satisfy his wive's sexuality with regard to the limits of islam, then she has the right to ask for divorce.
 

nori suja'i

Junior Member
Polygamy is allowed only with conditions and its alright for me eventhough i'm a one man woman. it is more respected for woman if she is called mrs so/so rather be called mistress of so/so.
but the percentage of young muslim men still higher compared to the young muslim women. my brother in-law was approached by someone to take his daughter as his
2nd wife but what did he said? "i'm very sorry as i having problem to handle one wife already & now u want to add more burden on me!".
(sorry! even it was true but it's just for a joke).
 

zainab.isci

New Member
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

keep in mind that the main reason for marriage is to fulfil our sexual desires.. If a man cannot get that from his wife then it is his right to have another wife otherwise he would commit adultry.
No matter how faithful we are to Allah and islam each of us has different limits to our desires, some of us are weak while others are not.. and islam is a religion that takes in consideration the tiniest differentiations of mankind.

If you can life a whole life with one woman, others can't.

And same thing goes to women, If a man cannot satisfy his wive's sexuality with regard to the limits of islam, then she has the right to ask for divorce.

:salam2:

so, what if the situation is different like some men just think its their RIGHT to have more than one?as if like a MUST?
their reasons may relate to their old life conditions ,he may have lived with many women at the same time before islam ,now he accepted islam but he doesnt want to change his habitudes.. he adapts islam to his desires,i ask myself?why people dont educate themself ?limit their desires?if we go after our every desires then we wll be no more good muslim because it is way to Hell...
thank you all,for replies..
:wasalam:
 

zulfikar

Junior Member
:salam2:

so, what if the situation is different like some men just think its their RIGHT to have more than one?as if like a MUST?
their reasons may relate to their old life conditions ,he may have lived with many women at the same time before islam ,now he accepted islam but he doesnt want to change his habitudes.. he adapts islam to his desires,i ask myself?why people dont educate themself ?limit their desires?if we go after our every desires then we wll be no more good muslim because it is way to Hell...
thank you all,for replies..
:wasalam:

I agree, listen to Ayatullah Muthahari said, "basically people desiree is monogamy." but reality always show us that sometimes there are situation which basic conditions has change. the poligamy in islam use to accomodate unbasically situation.
 

Amir_of_spain

Junior Member
During the sahabah's time the divorce rate was very high, they saw divorce as a contract between 2 people, if people weren't compatible they would split apart. But a divorcee wasn't frowned upon like in our times. And despite the divorce rate being high, you would find there was no one left unmarried. So this is the nature of polygamy in Islam, making sure everyone belongs to a family and no one is left alone like loners because family was the most important aspect of life for them. Today we see muslim men are reluctant to marry older women or women who have been previously divorce, also women are reluctant to become a 2nd or 3rd wife, on top of this our societies have made it even more hard to get married. This has resulted in millions of people unmarried, opening the doors to fitna.
 

zulfikar

Junior Member
Most of the texts in Al-Quran are used for specific time, situation, we need to see the contexts behind the texts. we should take a lesson, not to imitate them.
in my opinion if we want to take a lesson in the poligamy text. We should know the reason why poligamy wedding was born in the past.
Actually the reason of poligamy was following the born of marriage law in the islam thaught
Before islam (not just in arab, but in the entire place around the world) men do not need even a single marriage to fulfill their desiree. They can take anything women they want to take. They often take several women by turns every different night. Different woman in the different night. Man who did marriage will being mocked as weak man or puny man, being reputed whine, tearful and another derision. At this situation many children do not know their fathers, maybe neither to their mothers. fathers do not know their children. There were no protection for women and children.
at that moment marriage was everything for`women. they will be free, respect. and the most important they got status and family for them and their children. Marriage for getting status even more important for them then doing relationship with men to fulfill their desiree.
Actually islam was born for helping women situation too. Women are element of society/civilization. Marriage will united between two big family as become one. This is very important for children. Because if their parent went away for long time they still got grandfather, grandmother, uncles, cousins. Marriage is a very be liable measure for men.
when islam born, many people who had become acustomed for changing women every night maybe accept marriage law with slowly by taking the poligamy wedding.
 
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