shaking hands with the opposite on PURPOSE OR INTENTIONALLY MAKES YOUR SALAH INVALID UNLESS YOU MAKE ANOTHER ABLUTION AGAIN. Sister what your husband is doing is wrong. and whether he does it once a month or twice, it doesn't matter. what matters is what Rasulullah said s.a.w. i don't remember the exact words but it was that it would be better for a man to have a nail driven through his head rather to shake the hand of a non mahram woman. our hands are a trust from Allah swt to us. we should only use them for what we have been ordered to use them for. and nothing else. what your husband is doing needs to be stopped, and he really should. if it makes salah invalid then what about fasting. who knows. anyhow this is a fatwa i found on islamqa :
Is a woman sinning if she shakes hands with a man when she is wearing gloves?Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to shake hands with a non-mahram man even if she is wearing gloves or she shakes hands from under a cloth or abayah. All of that counts as shaking hands even if there is some kind of barrier.
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen in al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 992
I would like a detailed answer on the ruling on a man shaking hands with a woman, and the views of the four imams and the majority of scholars on that.
Praise be to Allaah. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The most correct view is that this (i.e., shaking hands with women from behind a barrier) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth, according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women;” and so as to ward off Firstly:
It is not permissible for a man who believes in Allaah and His Messenger to put his hand in the hand of a women who is not permissible for him or who is not one of his mahrams. Whoever does that has wronged himself (i.e., sinned).
It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.
This hadeeth alone is sufficient to deter and to instill the obedience required of us by Allaah, because it implies that touching women may lead to temptation and immorality.
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
‘O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bay‘ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse’
[al-Mumtahanah 60:12]
‘Aa’ishah said: Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”
(narrated by Muslim, 1866)
It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”
Narrated by Muslim, 1866
This infallible one, the best of mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women. This is despite the fact that the oath of allegiance was originally given by hand. So how about men other than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)?
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”
Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (4181) and Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513.
Secondly:
It is not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between, such as shaking hands from beneath a garment and the like. The hadeeth that was narrated allowing that is da’eef (weak).
It was narrated from Ma’qal ibn Yassaar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to shake hands with women from beneath a garment.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, 2855.
Al-Haythami said:
This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and al-Awsat. Its isnaad includes ‘Ataab ibn Harb, who is da’eef (weak).
Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 6/39.
Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said:
The words of ‘Aa’ishah, “He used to accept the women’s oath of allegiance by words only” mean that he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with them. This indicates that the bay’ah of men was accepted by taking their hands and shaking hands with them, as well as by words, and this is how it was. What ‘Aa’ishah mentioned was the custom.
Some of the mufassireen mentioned that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called for a vessel of water and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And some of them said that he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier and had a Qatari cloak over his hand. And it was said that ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) shook hands with them on his behalf. None of these reports are sound, especially the last one, How could ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) have done something that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was ma’soom (infallible), would not do?
Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45
the means that may lead to evil.
(Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo’at Rasaa’il fi’l-Hijaab wa’l-Sufoor, p. 69)
The same ruling applies to shaking hands with old women; this is also haraam because of the general meaning of the texts on this issue. The reports that say it is permissible are da’eef (weak).
Al-Zayla’i said:
“As for the report that ‘Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it is also ghareeb.”
(Nasab al-Raayah, 4/240)
Ibn Hajar said:
I cannot find this hadeeth.
(al-Diraayah fi Takhreej Ahaadeeth al-Hidaayah, 2/225)
Fourthly:
With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows:
1 – The Hanafi madhhab:
Ibn Nujaym said:
It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands even if there is no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity that would allow it.
Al-Bahr al-Raa’iq, 8/219
2 – The Maaliki madhhab:
Muhammad ibn Ahmad (‘Ulaysh) said:
It is not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman, and it is not permissible for him to put his hand on hers without a barrier. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never accepted a woman’s oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; rather he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” According to another report, “His hand never touched the hand of a woman, rather he would accept their oath of allegiance by words only.”
(Manh al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223)
3 – The Shaafa’i madhhab:
Al-Nawawi said:
It is not permissible to touch a woman in any way.
Al-Majmoo’, 4/515.
Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said:
This indicates that the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not touch the hand of any woman apart from his wives and concubines, whether in the case of accepting the oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he did not do that despite the fact that he was infallible and beyond suspicion, then it is even more essential that others heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts that he refrained from doing that because it was haraam for him to do so. The fuqaha’ among our companions and others said that it is haraam to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah, such as her face. But they differed with regard to looking when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah. The prohibition on touching is stronger than the prohibition on looking, and it is haraam when there is no necessity that would allow it. If it is the case of necessity, e.g. medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, etc., if there is no woman who can do that, then it is permissible for a non-mahram to do that because it is the case of necessity.
Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45, 46
4 – The Hanbali madhhab
Ibn Muflih said:
Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Imam Ahmad – was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. He said, No, and was emphatic that it is haraam. I said, Should he shake hands with her from beneath his garment? He said, No.
Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen also favoured the view that it is prohibited, and gave the reason that touching is more serious than looking.
AlAdaab al-Shar’iyyah, 2/257
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
What is the ruling on a male student shaking hands with a female classmate? What should he do if she holds out her hand to greet him?Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permitted to study in a mixed setting with female students in one place or in one school or on one bench. This is one of the greatest causes of fitnah (temptation) and it is not permissible for a male or female student to take part in this, because of the fitnah involved. The Muslim should not shake hands with a non-mahram female, even if she holds out her hand for him to shake, and he should tell her that shaking hands with a non-mahram man is not permitted, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, when accepting the allegiance (bay’ah) of women: “I do not shake hands with women.” And it was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “By Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any (non-mahram) woman; he used to accept their allegiance in words only.” And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much”
[al-Ahzaab 33:21]
For a woman to shake hands with someone who is not her mahram is something that may lead to temptation for both parties, so it must be avoided.
There is nothing wrong with the shar’i greeting of salaam in which there is no fitnah and no shaking hands, and which does not give rise to doubts and does not involve any softness in speech, and in which hijaab is observed and there is no being alone with a member of the opposite sex, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32]
At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the women used to greet him and ask him questions concerning things they did not understand, and the women also used to ask the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning things they did not understand.
With regard to a woman shaking hands with other women, or shaking hands with men who are her mahrams, such as her brothers, uncles, etc., there is nothing wrong with that.
Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah in al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 988
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He thinks I am blowing it out of portion.