How to communicate with children

[Ladybug3478]

Hello,

I'm attempting to clean my house of items that don't necessarily reflect what I want for my home.

My children have some cartoon movies, CDs, video games, etc... that I think we should probably get rid of but, I'm not sure of the best way to communicate this to them. My 4 yr old had/ has movies like Aladdin, Mulan, and Kung Fu panda and I threw the Aladdin movie in the garbage because of the Genie but, not sure about Kung Fu panda. Not even to mention that I feel bad about Kung Fu panda because my son bought it for my daughter. I just want to be able to tell my 4 yr why I'm doing this without having her in a state of confusion. In addition, I want my teenager to understand and hopefully make the right choice, while, knowing that if he has something in the house - it effects us all. I know this is important but, I'm not sure if I am grasping exactly what this means for my family and I. Any ideas?

Thanks

 

[sazk]

nopes sorry no ideas on this one. if u're a mother and already have a teenage son you should be knowing how to handle the family better. besides kids only get upset for a week at max then they forget about it.
my personal experience has been that families who don't watch TV or movies tend to communicate more and are more actively involved in recreational activities like sports and community service.

 

[BigAk]

Salam alaikum Ladybug...

I am not sure what harm there would be from Aladin movies or kung fu panda.. I have them for my 6 year old boy and he knows that the stuff is unreal and it's all make belief.. On the other hand, he prays everyday and he grasps the real concept of Allah fully as we talk about Him and his prophets all the time. He knows about the miracles of the prophets and he's able to distinguish between their reality and the falsehood of the cartoons and films. Often times, he will ask me to be assured if some incident is real or make belief... So, he has a good concept of that. I think instead of throwing all these movies away, it's better to have a dialog with your children about what is real and true and what is make belief and false.... my two cents at least... lol

BTW.. Are you still looking into reverting to Islam?? I have been following your story with interest.

May Allah guide you and MYSELF to the right path and keep us on it. Ameen.

.

 

[Yousef83]

mashAllah to your son BigAk,may Allah protect him always and you too.You should proud of him also for urself.His ways actually your shape on mirror.Congrats you sincerely.
Other i dont have my own family or a kid,thats i dont know what to say but BigAk's suggestion very logical.I know a thing surely that if you call off anything without convince him/her that makes more curious

 

[pcozzy]

Hello,

I'm attempting to clean my house of items that don't necessarily reflect what I want for my home.

My children have some cartoon movies, CDs, video games, etc... that I think we should probably get rid of but, I'm not sure of the best way to communicate this to them. My 4 yr old had/ has movies like Aladdin, Mulan, and Kung Fu panda and I threw the Aladdin movie in the garbage because of the Genie but, not sure about Kung Fu panda. Not even to mention that I feel bad about Kung Fu panda because my son bought it for my daughter. I just want to be able to tell my 4 yr why I'm doing this without having her in a state of confusion. In addition, I want my teenager to understand and hopefully make the right choice, while, knowing that if he has something in the house - it effects us all. I know this is important but, I'm not sure if I am grasping exactly what this means for my family and I. Any ideas?

Thanks

:salam2:

Take your time, everything needs time to grow.
Many people make things hard for themselves by feeling the root of the problem is there surroundings. We need to work on our inside and with time and patience these things will no longer be influential.

Take time with your kids, ask them about their self on a one and one basis. Give them information that will shape their behavior in life and allow them to be good. Explain to them their is a fine line between fiction and reality.

The problem I find now a days people take their kids to a teacher and feel there job in life is done. Believe me one word from the parent that is meaningful will change their perception of life. When you put all your trust into a teacher only, the children don't receive the information and take it to heart as they would if you told them. Of course, we all become better by increasing our understanding.

Lastly, don't leave out God, for he is the most merciful, and He said ask me and I will answer. Ask God for guidance.

 

[mezeren]

:salam2:

Sister,i think you are doing the right thing.Most of these videos contains harmfull massages to our chilren.Recently,i have destroyed lots of CD's and i simply told my 7 years old son and 6 years old doughter that they are not appropriate for them.

Especially,beware of walt disney,visit you tube and search for "walt disney subliminal massages".you will be disgusted what you see.it is totally insane.
they deliberetly poisoning our children.They put naked pictures in children cartoons,the word "sex" is used in several occasion in the lion king cartoon and many more.

it is easy for you to explain it to your teenager when you show what you see on youtube videos,for the little one you should chose harmless vids.

 

[BigAk]

The problem I find now a days people take their kids to a teacher and feel there job in life is done. Believe me one word from the parent that is meaningful will change their perception of life. When you put all your trust into a teacher only, the children don't receive the information and take it to heart as they would if you told them.

Very smart post... thumbs up

.

 

[BigAk]

mashAllah to your son BigAk,may Allah protect him always and you too.You should proud of him also for urself.His ways actually your shape on mirror.Congrats you sincerely.
Other i dont have my own family or a kid,thats i dont know what to say but BigAk's suggestion very logical.I know a thing surely that if you call off anything without convince him/her that makes more curious

Thank you brother.. May Allah grant you the righteous children of your own one day...

.

 

[Qur'an&Sunnah]

:salam2:

Well some people say that disney movies and cartoons in general has some sexual subliminalism and bad lessons in them, and I saw it and I believe them so MashaAllah Allahu Alam I don't let my 6 year old sister watch them. My little sister use to watch soooo much tv and I swear she was getting worse and worse, very disrespectful, but SubhanaAllah we totally do not watch TV anymore and we stopped her from watching TV and Alhamdullilah she is so much better. It took awhile for her to adjust but we replaced tv with this islamic show called Adam's World. Now, she knows more Islam and everything Alhamdullilah, so....yeah Allahu Akbar. You realize how much time you have to think and read and worship Allah without TV, it's wonderful. Hopefully it becomes easy for you.

:salam2:

 

[gazkour]

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

:salam2:

Well some people say that disney movies and cartoons in general has some sexual symbolism and bad lessons in them, and I saw it and I believe them so MashaAllah Allahu Alam I don't let my 6 year old sister watch them. My little sister use to watch soooo much tv and I swear she was getting worse and worse, very disrespectful, but SubhanaAllah we totally do not watch TV anymore and we stopped her from watching TV and Alhamdullilah she is so much better. It took awhile for her to adjust but we replaced tv with this islamic show called Adam's World. Now, she knows more Islam and everything Alhamdullilah, so....yeah Allahu Akbar. You realize how much time you have to think and read and worship Allah without TV, it's wonderful. Hopefully it becomes easy for you.

:salam2:

SubhanAllah! It is soo true! I've been having serious issues with my 4 year old daughter and her behaviour. I always tried to be 'selective' and after explaining to her, I would not allow her to watch some of the programs, so I thought she was watching the 'good ones'.

But, Alhamdulillah after watching some videos in youtube about the bad influence of TV on kids, I felt very guilty so I started to cut it little by little, and indeed my daughter has improved in many ways , alhamdulillah.

So it is just now that I realize how much harm I was causing to my own daughter, eventhough I was always 'with her' explaining things. I'm the type who likes to communicate with my kid to make her aware of the bad things out there and the choice we have to select good or bad.
BUT believe me, brothers and sisters, my daughter seemed to pick just the negative!
So ,for example she's been watching 'Heidi' this days and I thought : ok that one is 'decent', then I noticed her 'attitude' got worse and worse, so just then I realised that in this film there's an arrogant girl behaving just as my daughter was doing it!

May Allah guide us all.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

 

[Qur'an&Sunnah]

SubhanAllah! It is soo true! I've been having serious issues with my 4 year old daughter and her behaviour. I always tried to be 'selective' and after explaining to her, I would not allow her to watch some of the programs, so I thought she was watching the 'good ones'.

But, Alhamdulillah after watching some videos in youtube about the bad influence of TV on kids, I felt very guilty so I started to cut it little by little, and indeed my daughter has improved in many ways , alhamdulillah.

So it is just now that I realize how much harm I was causing to my own daughter, eventhough I was always 'with her' explaining things. I'm the type who likes to communicate with my kid to make her aware of the bad things out there and the choice we have to select good or bad.
BUT believe me, brothers and sisters, my daughter seemed to pick just the negative!
So ,for example she's been watching 'Heidi' this days and I thought : ok that one is 'decent', then I noticed her 'attitude' got worse and worse, so just then I realised that in this film there's an arrogant girl behaving just as my daughter was doing it!

May Allah guide us all.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

:salam2:
Same here, my sister was watching Max and Ruby and I said ok, but when I thought about that cartoon with a critical eye this little rabbit girl was treating her brother terribly, then my little sister would treat her nephews (from my older sister) terribly, then I began to see. SubhanaAllah it's sad, but you know what Shaytaan said he would come from before us and from behind us, from the left and from the right. May Allah Protect us and our offspring from shaytaan, Ameen!

:salam2:

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
We should just monitor what our kids watch. I let my kids watch an occasional movie, but its with me and I make sure its appropriate. You dont have to be strict about it, just be firm and gentle. We cant shut our children out away from the world, they will find out anyway. Allah knows best.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Well I did it. I cancelled World of Warcraft. I have limited the time for television and playstation and pc games etc.
We cannot shield our children from everything. However Disney is one of my pet peeves. It is easy to get rid of. Disney is one of those Zionistic things.
My solution has been to make certain my children are with other Muslim children and around Muslims. It makes life so much easier for all of us.
Eco-community is my thing now.

So dear sister...do things slowly. Allow the children to take the unwanted items to the thrift store with you. Let them start making little decisions. Keep up the good work.

I am waiting for the post wherein you will inform us that you are my newest sister in Islam. Insha'Allah it will be very soon,

my love.

 

[Ladybug3478]

Thanks to God and all of you for the great advice! It's nice to know that there is somewhere to go for advice I can trust!

Being a mom is challenging and yet, rewarding. I pray that I never get to a point where I think I have it all figured out. That'll be the day my kids are cheated. Instead I keep wanting to learn how to be a better mom since it's an important role.

Using the advice posted...I will pray about it, pray with the kids asking God to guide us with these things, let the kids make their decision, Keep a close eye on what they are taking in, and not over do it but, instead allow it to happen naturally.

Oh yeah...and check out Disney subliminal messages on You Tube. LOL.

Please feel free to add any other ideas that come up.

Thanks so much!

 

[BigAk]

Oh yeah...and check out Disney subliminal messages on You Tube. LOL.Please feel free to

Would you please post one example ??? I am not familiar .. but interested in knowing.. Thank you very much sister..

.

 

[abu'muhammad]

:salam2:

you may find the below thread useful.

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49872

...............................................................................................................

one of the way is prompting them with some offers which they like, example toys, chocolates etc in return of such cartoon movies or else.

when we are sitting with them we can show our strong disapproval to such movies or cartoons. this act will inshaAllah stable in their mind that such games and cartoons are not good.

we need be flexible, sometimes stern and sometimes leniant, according to whatever works and whatever the situation is.
as In my case, my 3 year daughter have is when I come at home , wants to climb over shoulders and pull hair, irrespective of the time - when I am sitting, talking with someone else, etc. if I ridicule her for that she would have misunderstood me beacuse of age and affection to me, and the matter still unsolved. so I have to let her slowly understand and to be patient. sometimes to be like as she is.

 

[muslims.helper]

Asalamo Aleikum Sister,

May I say, your kids (Massha Allah) are lucky to have you as their mother and you already doing a great job. May Allah give you the strength and means to raise your kids as good Muslims Inshaa Allah.

As for the cartoon movies, I believe, like everything in life, they have good and bad side. You have the choose which way you want to use it. Cartoons are not haram as long as they don't have haram things like music.

I believe the best thing is you can watch the movies with them, then you have have little chat afterwords to see what you learned from it. (I don't know if Aladdin is Haram or not) but lets take it as an example, you can watch it and then talk to them about Jin in Islam and teach them about it in a nice way and Islam point of view. May point out to them what was Haram
and wrong in the movie.

Here is a useful link that state whether cartoon are haram or not and has some useful info about them. I hope it would be useful to you.
http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/71170

May Allah keeps you and your family away from Haram and always light your path to things He loves

 

[MutlekM]

I am 13 yrs. old so i sort of know how they will feel but i am not the kind that loves movies but i do have a 6 and 8yr. old brothers and i also am a babysitter and the way a like to deal with things is patiently tell ur 14yr. old son and make sure he understand as for the 4yr. old tell something like that the movies are bad and it can make you blind and that you wont be very smart but talk childish and not like your expert and again take ur time.