Very concerned

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:

i got another issue im sorry to bother everyone but i am very concerned about my brother who is younger than me well i spoke to him after a while like couple of months i feel so hurt SubhanAllah just feel this deep hole within me, he has always been like a good friend of mine and we grew up together, I worked so hard so my brothers life could be easier now he moved to another country to study, i talked to him and SubhanAllah he was so open with this girl and he says he talks with other girls too, and he has no respect for me or the family, he doesn't care about anyone but him. He has became one of those people who are so dwelled in this duniya i cant stop helping feelings its all my fault.

I wasn't a good role model for him in life, my parents dont know everything, since every praises the way he dresses so *hip* my parents feel proud.

What should i do i tried talking with him so many times honestly i love him so much but he is so far away i cant even do anything...
SubhanAllah i feel like the worst eldest brother

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Salaamalaykum beloved Akhi Shaheer,

I want to remind myself and you, the great weapon that every muslim possesses - Dua. Allah subhaanahu waa ta'ala doesn't deny his righteous slaves. So, supplicate often and beseech Allah in times where dua is accepted readily (from established Sunnah), ie in sujood, in tahajjud, on friday just before Maghrib, before breaking a fast, between Adhaan and Iqama.

You should try to pay attention and care to your supplication, beseeching Allah through His names and attributes and memorizing other beautiful supplication from Sunnah of Rasool SallAllahu Alleihi Wa Sallam.

You will find your heart to be Insha'Allah more at peace and you will find great comfort in your supplication to Allah subhaanahu waa ta'ala.

As you are far away from your brother, remember another virtue that we as muslims should posses - Sabr. You have to absorb whatever your brother has shared with you and try to exercise patience. This means not to be rash in correcting your brother's ways or being heavy handed with him.

Your brother will perhaps be more affected if you treat with him kindness and show how much you genuinely care for him.

Advice him first on his obligations towards Allah subhaanahu waa ta'ala. Explain to him the importance of guarding his Salah and doing them properly in the proper time. Try to explain important concepts of our Deen especially Tawheed. Send him many articles on fundamental of faith and Insha'Allah he will get attracted by them. Advice him to keep good company and avoid company that brings harm or no benefit.

Always encourage and compliment on the good that you see in him (even if it is less) and try to advice him on his shortcoming is a gentle and kind manner. Give him naseeha, the way you would like to receive naseeha from others, with good akhlaaq.

Insha'Allah with sabr & dua on your part, coupled with some mujahada on your brother's part, a change will come which will make you pleased of him.

I will remember him in my dua and please let me know if I can help in any way.

May Allah subhaanaho waa ta'ala make it easy for you. Ameen

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I will keep you and your brother in my dua.

Sometimes we have to be stupid in our acts. And Insha'Allah, with our dua, he will understand the folly of his actions. Love is constant and understanding. He will be in need of you very soon. Just be there for him. Be firm and patient. And know your aapa will sincerely make dua.

 

[Ayyub]

:salam2:
First of all it's never the fault of somebody else if someone picks the wrong path.

I mean look at the prophet Nuh (as) even though he is one of the best prophets being sent to mankind one of his very own sons was a kafir and died in the flood.
Is this because of Nuh (as)?Definitely not cause Nuh raised his children as Islamic as he could possibly do but in the end his son decided to take the wrong path even though Nuh (as) asked him to enter the ship.

The only thing you could possibly do is reminding him what Allah says and remember him about the boundary's that Allah gave mankind and inshallah he will return to the right path.

 

[allah is with me]

Salamualaikum dear brother shaheer . . Asthagfiruallah. This is really a very bad news. To be honest shaheer no one is perfect in this world, except muhammad S. A. W. .so we all commite sins. And this time your not with your brother. . So the best thìng you can do is- pray . I wil surely pray for your brother

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alaikum,

JazakAllah khair for all the responses, May Allah (swt) reward you all and guide all the muslim ummah - ameen

i know my brother is not doing something really bad, he says he prays and eats halal Alhumdulilah, but there are things that he need improvement on and i pray to Allah (swt) that he and all the muslim people that need to be guided included me are guided by the mercy of Allah (swt) cuz he guides whom he wills - ameen

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullah,

Akhi, I know at times it feels like a big responsibility being the eldest in the family. At times, I feel like my responsibilities to my family, my siblings outweighes my needs. When I feel that I need to be there for my family; as every family has their ups and downs, I tried to come home. Well, maybe things wont change much at home, but at least with our presence, it can help to ease the situation a little.

I think I might be facing the same situation as yours, but as in my case, its with my sister. As others have said, the best thing we can do is to show a good example and giving naseeha constantly as much as we could. I remember once my sis told me that, someday she wants to wear a big scarf (well, she does wear hijaab but here at my place there are like the big and just the average hijaab - I wont go into detail on that). And I said to her InshaAllah.

I remembered a story, not sure if its in a hadeeth or not, but there was once a girl who had a not-so-good father. Her father likes to drink (if I'm not mistaken) and not so practising. But then one day, when her father came to her room in the middle of the night and saw that his daughter was praying, weeping to Allaah asking that may Allaah open the heart of his father, her father was touched by that incident. From then on, her father changed and became a better person.

I know many of us here come from families who are not so practising. Not everyone though. After we've done our best to give da'awah to them, then we still have Allaah to put our hopes so that we will be gathered with our family in Jannah someday. InshaAllaahu Ta'ala.

Hope that'll helps a little.

Waa'laykummusalam wa rahmatullah.

 

[thariq2005]

Salaamu 'alaykkum. There is a great problem among people those who practise, and I have noticed this myself from the brothers I know personally, that many of them do not understand how important it is to give da'wah to our Family. (I aint referring this to the brother who posted this thread but rather point this out as a general problem). I would like to remind myself first and then everyone else about this great problem that has struck our communities. Llet it be known that it is upon us to save ourselves and our families from the severe torment that Allaah has created for some of His Creatures. Many brothers and sisters who begin to practise, start giving da'wah in their universities, masaajids etc, but yet fail to give da'wah to their own family, their mothers who bore them for 9 months and looked after them at times of difficulties, their brothers and sisters who grew up with them, and their fathers who bought them up in difficulty.

Allaah subhanahu wa t'aala says:

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارً۬ا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلۡحِجَارَةُ عَلَيۡہَا مَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ۬ شِدَادٌ۬ لَّا يَعۡصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمۡ وَيَفۡعَلُونَ مَا يُؤۡمَرُونَ

"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allâh, but do that which they are commanded." [Soorah At Tahreem: 6]

Many of us may not be close to our parents or fellow siblings but we have to go to that point where we throw our personal ego behind our backs and get sentimental with our families, it may be that some members of our family would only understand through a lot of love (which is the case most of the time) and it maybe that some members of our family and open minded and understand straight away. (From personal experience: Kissing the forehead of your mother, or being really kind to her etc, really helps when giving da'wah or trying to put a point across). So we must get into the shoes of our own family members in order to see how they think and thus call them towards Allaah and His Messenger salallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Remember the sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah :saw2:, that he was calling his uncle towards islaam even when his uncle was on his deathbed.

So let us take ths incident of our fellow brother as a lesson to ourselves and see how we can amend our own family problems. And when we see our family members slip in terms of deen, then we remind them and correct them, and guidance is from Allaah, subhaanah

My only advice to you, brother shaheer, is that you keep reminding your brother of Allaah, and call him towards practising this deen. The last you would want is for your brother to die in a state whereby Allaah is displeased with him, and we seek refuge in Allaah from such a death.

Jazakumullaahu khaira, wa salaamu 'alaykkum

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

:salam2: brother thariq,

JazakAllahu Khayran for the beneficial reminder.. Very nice post.

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

 

[ahmed_indian]

may Allah increase your brother in iman bhai.

yes, keep making dua for him, also keep advicing him in a gentle manner as a friend about effects of sins in this world, pleasures of jannah, death, etc.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alaikum wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatuhu

ALhumdulilah im feeling well alot better , i wrote my brother a email quoting him some quranic verse and hadith, and i also had a one on one conversation with him and this girl that he was so open with.

And I really tried to explain to them why its wrong both religiously and logically and Mashallah well both noded with yes and understood my point, I hope they stick to their word Inshallah taala.

But im very proud of my brother, 1st of all that he listened and then 2ndly he is keeping up with his prayers ( salaah ) and i know SubhanAllah salaah really keeps a person in line.

JazakAllah khair for all the duas and answer,

please remember me and my family in ur duas.

May Allah (swt) bless all the muslim and their families - ameen

 

[Aisha hussain..]

salam alykum brother

hope you are in your best health and emaan inshallah

brother iam facing the same problem with mt sister but Alhamdulillah i remind her about the hereafter and i give her lectures to listen and truly speaking she realy got scared seriously but yea she is not yet praying inshallah she will pray but keep reminding your brother about the hereafter and Allah's anger
inshallah he will be on the straight path inshallah

remeber him in your prayers

wasalam alykum

 

[Aisha hussain..]

lol brother sorry i guess you have already done

may Allah guide him

 

[slaveofAllah88]

salam alykum brother

hope you are in your best health and emaan inshallah

brother iam facing the same problem with mt sister but Alhamdulillah i remind her about the hereafter and i give her lectures to listen and truly speaking she realy got scared seriously but yea she is not yet praying inshallah she will pray but keep reminding your brother about the hereafter and Allah's anger
inshallah he will be on the straight path inshallah

remeber him in your prayers

wasalam alykum

:salam2:

JazakALlah khair for the advice ur advice is still appreciated cuz this is not a one time thing my brother might listen to me now then shaitaan gets into his head again so its a constant reminder for him , me and everyone.

But i was really happy that talking to him nicely and politely with emphasizes on whats important and wats not really helped and also explaining that we love them alot and thats why we care

 

[zarah]

:salam2:

I don’t think it is right to blame yourself, you can only advice. :tti_sister: