Need advice and councel

[Shak78]

:salam2:

I pray you are all doing well today, I have an issue that I need council on regarding the holiday season here in the US. My in-laws know I do not celebrate Christmas yet want William and I to come down in two weekends to decorate the tree they are putting up. My fiance's sister also sent him a Christmas gift w/out consulting me first. If this wasn't enough to irritate me, Mike informed that William will be celebrating Christmas and I will not be raising him as a Muslim. This has all happened in a span of a week so I am sort of confused as to what to do on all fronts.

 

[islamerica]

You mentioned fiance's sister. So are you married or engaged? if engaged then are you talking about ex-in-laws or in-laws to be? and who is mike, ex-hubby or fiance?

IF you are talking about fiance and his family then they really have no say in how you raise your son. If they are going to give you trouble then it maybe an indicator of how it will be down the road if you get married, something to keep in mind.

If they are your ex's then if you have custody of your son then you excuse yourselves saying you won't be able to make or something, otherwise I don't know if you can stop them from doing what they do unless there was anything stipulated in your custody papers of how to raise him.

For now, best bet would be to kindly stress to them of your new lifestyle and of your sons and how you appreciate what they try to do but you know what's best for your son and you do not wish to have him be negatively influenced by all this, especially considering xmas and stuff is not even authentic christian origin but rather is pagan in origin.

may Allah make it easy for you inshallah, ameen.

 

[Shak78]

:salam2:

I am engaged and Mike is his father and my fiance thus those are you his parents. My mother passed on in 08 and I have not seen my father since I was 12.

 

[serena77]

salaams sis
i wish i had some advice for you... i don't but i wanted to let you know how sorry i was you were going through this. I hope there is an amicable solution for everyone and that your stressors in this issue lessen soon. May Allah (swt) guide you and ease your pain.
Serena

 

[strive-may-i]

:salam2:

I pray you are all doing well today, I have an issue that I need council on regarding the holiday season here in the US. My in-laws know I do not celebrate Christmas yet want William and I to come down in two weekends to decorate the tree they are putting up. My fiance's sister also sent him a Christmas gift w/out consulting me first. If this wasn't enough to irritate me, Mike informed that William will be celebrating Christmas and I will not be raising him as a Muslim. This has all happened in a span of a week so I am sort of confused as to what to do on all fronts.

It must have come as a shock to you... one more point I would like to add is, that you would need to relook at every aspect of your relationship, one step at a time. Take help from learnt sensible brothers/sisters in your area. You definitely need support... and by seeking counsel you have taken right first step.

May Almighty give you the strength, calmness and wherewithal to pass through this difficult phase.. donot loose hope, do pray to Almighty in this matter, seek help

 

[strive-may-i]

PRAYER TO EASE DIFFICULTIES --http://www.islameasy.org/pdf/Ease_Difficulties.pdf

 

[islamerica]

:salam2:

I am engaged and Mike is his father and my fiance thus those are you his parents. My mother passed on in 08 and I have not seen my father since I was 12.

Is Mike Muslim? Islam does not allow marriage to non-Muslims for the very reason you are voicing your concerns. If he is a Muslim, then has he been practicing for long? The fact he says william will be celebrating xmas and bigger issue that you will not be raising him a Muslim is a big concern. If he doesn't want william to be raised on Islam then he wants your son to be raised on falsehood. Which again brings me to the question of his own faith, is he Muslm or not. This has become more than an issue of celebrating xmas. I think you need to sit down with mike and have a serious talk and if he doesn't listen then talk to an imam for advice. Your son William and future kids have a right on you, that right being you pick a good Muslim dad for them and raise them up islamically. If mike doesn't give in then you will need to consider if you have more kids, will they be raised on Islam? and will marrying mike be the best option?

 

[Noor El-Huda]

Sister I'm a bit confused, if you're saying that Mike is your Ex telling you not to raise Willilam his son as a muslim. Ofcourse you don't need to take notice of this. He's your son and any parent wants the best for their child, and you want to raise him the way you believe is the right way which is Islam, and you have custody of him anyway.

But sister most importantly, if your fiance is a muslim which I hope he is and these are his parents then it is best that he deals with the hard work of convincing to his parents, and you deal with the final touches. If he isn't a muslim, then sister you really shouldn't be in this situation in the first place. Pleae clarify if he is so we know how to advise you.
As to your inlaws, I had christian inlaws too so I would say sister you can be as nice to them as you can in general but when it comes to things that clash with your beliefs, then you don't need to feel that you have to bend the rules. As long as you're being nice and polite in your explanation of what you believe is best for your son, then you needn't feel burdened with worry. Ofcourse it would be difficult for you and them at first but I think with time inshallah they would get used to you as a kind nice person that has different beliefs, which they need to respect. This will develop gradually and will be easier with time inshallah.