How many of you went/are going through this, How did you manage?

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
Wa 'alaikumassalam WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuhu,

Well there have been lots of experience.I was attracted to Islam when my cousin who lived in Birmingham gave me an english interpretation of meaning of Qur'an by Dr Muhammad Mohsin Khan(Musalman ko musalman kar diya toofan e maghrib ne..The storm of the West turned muslims to real muslims).We also used to have something called "ijtima" or gathering where dars of Qur'an would be carried out at my grandmother's house which I used to visit in summer vacations only.I was really fascinated by them and spell bound when I heard them.

Then I was in my teenages and had different taste from most other kids.I mean guys would talk about television music and stuff and it was hard,I wouldn't knwo what to say.It was the time when I heard "talk wise or be silent" so there I went kind of mute heh and became kind of a loner.My teens were the loneliest days of my life,except my Qari sahab who used to teach me Qur'an ,I don't think I talked to anyone else about anything in an open and friendly way,not even my parents(maybe sometimes to my mother).

Then my family started to notice that I acted in a "weird" way and there were times when they told me enjoy yourself watch some movies etc,why you keep listening to these things?
Then when my beard started coming out ,it was tough and sometimes I was angry and would yell as the brother said in the video.I would be forced to shave my beard walyadhubillah,just so I could "fit in" and look "normal".
In the meantime I had been called many names by my own family which include,"Qund zahan","close minded" and "kath mullah".."hardliner" :D
It did make me angry and sad and with no one to talk to or understand me in my teens ,hearing such things made me depressed and had deep repercussions on my mental health.(I didn't have any access to internet back then as they were a rareity,Alhamdulillah the teenagers to day are so lucky to have internet so they can access knowledge and have a good circle like TTI where they can share their problems)


It's one thing when kuffar oppose you but it's other when your own family opposes you and that too a muslim family.When going to a masjid to pray is looked down upon and being with people of knowledge amounts to you becoming a "kath mullah".

I noticed that my anger was not doing me any good other than making me depressed and anguished and repelling people from me.So I started to dig in deeper and discovered that the fault is within me,if my ikhlaq are up to the mark and I talk with softness and mercy insha'Allah and "fasbir sabran jameela".."bear patiently with gracious patience",I would be well.
I noticed that my anger wouldn't do anything other than make them hate my ways.

So I had to start over again,I now had access to internet which opened gateways to treasure troves of knowledge.I have,since been trying to gain knowledge and learn Islam from the right sources insha'Allah.Alhamdulillah this site has been such a help to me,may Allah bless the woners,moderators and members herein,who opened such a beautiful platform.Ameen.

Now I can read articles by big scholars,read so many books and quotes by them like a quote from Sheikh al Islam Ibn Tayymiyah('alyhirrahmah),who said," “What can my enemies do to me? I have in my breast both my heaven and my garden. If I travel they are with me, never leaving me. Imprisonment for me is a chance to be alone with my Lord. To be killed is martyrdom and to be exiled from my land is a spiritual journey. (Ibn al-Qayyim, Waabil, p.69)”

Such beautiful thoughts,feelings and knowledge of hope and fear,life being a place of trial and how our hurts are in fact blessings a means of purification and raising of our ranks;this is what has kept me sane and is helping me be a better person alhamdulillah.Gaining knowledge has helped me.Without Allah I think I would go mad lol.

Alhamdulillah,,the more knowledge I gain the more closer to Allah I feel,the more peaceful I feel.

Now I have a circle of friends in real life as well alhamdulillah who are good believers insha'Allah and involved actively in dawah.
Alhamdulillah the change in ikhlaq is also a good thing and bearing with patience as haqq's opposition by baatil is by default.Now I don't have any problem with keeping a beard alhamdulillah and Allah is muqallibal quloob who controls hearts and my family has not only accepted my ways but have also started to adopt and even do dawah about what I practice Alhamdulillah ya Rabb.They now support me so much after my hard time was over and I had almost gone insane,because of Allah and my family's support I am well now alhamdulillah.I cannot thank Allah enough even if I were to be in sajdah my whole life.Alhamdulillah who brings us out of hardship into ease and out of darkness into life and who made us live on earth so that insha'Allah will inherit heaven,ya Rabb.

My advice to those who are going through this is that have patience and gain knowledge,adopt good ikhlaq and stay with istiqamat(steadfastness,because "Allah the wali of those who believe ,He brings them out of darkness into light."[2:257]

So فَاصْبِرْ صَبْرًا جَمِيلًا
So be patient with gracious patience.[70:5]

Alhamdulillah,JazakAllahi khayr sister your topic made me say so many things that I only had in my heart and had never talked to anyone about it.

PS:If you wish you can listen to recitation video in my signature it has also been an inspiration and an assurance in my hard times for me.
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

Oh yes dear sister, subhanallah, sounds so fammiliar to hear: ''remember how you here last year, you where just like us now you becomed what ? religious''....or ... making you feel bad and guilty...or ''what will you do in future, cover your head ? we are not like that, this is weird'' (even if my grandmothers, christians, do cover their heads with scarfs)...what is more sad is now that i see from a while that also in muslim famelys, a brother or a sister goes thru these hard things....inchallah Allah is with the patient ones.

{“O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the right guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who are in error…”} [al-Ma'idah; 105]


May Allah help us. :tti_sister:

:salam2:
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Wa 'alaikumassalam WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuhu,

I had been called many names by my own family which include,"Qund zahan","close minded" and "kath mullah".."hardliner" :D
. . . .
So فَاصْبِرْ صَبْرًا جَمِيلًا
So be patient with gracious patience.[70:5]

Alhamdulillah,JazakAllahi khayr sister your topic made me say so many things that I only had in my heart and had never talked to anyone about it.

PS:If you wish you can listen to recitation video in my signature it has also been an inspiration and an assurance in my hard times for me.

Bold part made me laugh. Yeah we all got designated, no? I was called "Albaani" for quite sometime. Alhumdulillah they got over that one. Shaykh Albaani would have had a heart attack, had he known that a thing like me was called "albaani".

To be honest akh, had you not been talking about a "beard" I would have thought you were narrating my story. I'm still having trouble finding some like-minded fellows here, but I suppose that could be 'cos I moved places and things are still new for me.

JazaakAllaahu khayraa for sharing you experiences.

BaraakAllaahu feek.
salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

Oh yes dear sister, subhanallah, sounds so fammiliar to hear: ''remember how you here last year, you where just like us now you becomed what ? religious''....or ... making you feel bad and guilty...or ''what will you do in future, cover your head ? we are not like that, this is weird'' (even if my grandmothers, christians, do cover their heads with scarfs)...what is more sad is now that i see from a while that also in muslim famelys, a brother or a sister goes thru these hard things....inchallah Allah is with the patient ones.

{“O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the right guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who are in error…”} [al-Ma'idah; 105]


May Allah help us. :tti_sister:

:salam2:

True say. They do make us feel as if we are "out of our minds". May Allaah help us out.

Ameen.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baraakaatuh.
 

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
Bold part made me laugh. Yeah we all got designated, no? I was called "Albaani" for quite sometime. Alhumdulillah they got over that one. Shaykh Albaani would have had a heart attack, had he known that a thing like me was called "albaani".

To be honest akh, had you not been talking about a "beard" I would have thought you were narrating my story. I'm still having trouble finding some like-minded fellows here, but I suppose that could be 'cos I moved places and things are still new for me.

JazaakAllaahu khayraa for sharing you experiences.

BaraakAllaahu feek.

SubhanAllah being called "Albaani".Being associated with Sheikh Albaani(alyhirrahmah) is good I guess masha'Allah heh.

It takes time insha'Allah all of us have to face this situation and Allah takes us out of it,insha'Allah.As,an iron is made strong by beating and some things face harsh weather to be seasoned,Allah in our early days gives us hard trials so that inha'Allah we can be prepared for the later part of our lives.Wallahu 'aalam,but there are only lessons in the past and that has helped me grow as a person and a muslim,alhamdulillah.Learning from mistakes,that is what we can all do and strive to be a better person every single day insha'Allah.
Wassalamu 'alaykum warahmatullah
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Why do people who are close to deen have a difficult social life?

salam aleikum

Maybe because the society of today does not support the efforts of the ones who want to be close to deen, we are more encouraged to relax the religion so this does not benefit us.
But if the social life that we surround ourselfs involves good muslims, mashallah, that respect our prayer times at work or school, that dont abuse the hijab or others islamic cloths, or the beard, that dont insist in involving us in all kinds of inovated hollydays...there should not be problem...inchallah

:salam2:
 

slaveofAllah88

Slave of Allah (swt)
Wa 'alaikumassalam WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuhu,

It's one thing when kuffar oppose you but it's other when your own family opposes you and that too a muslim family.When going to a masjid to pray is looked down upon and being with people of knowledge amounts to you becoming a "kath mullah".

:salam2: wa rahmatuallhi wa barakatuhu

:) bhai your thread really put a smile on my face, May Allah (swt) bless you and preserve you - ameen

and bhai dont worry at all lol i am starting to enjoy these names :D lol :p im surprised u didn't mention maulvi lol cuz people always refer to as like look at that maulvi , Maulvi sahib lol offcourse its not in a sweet way but Alhumdulilah :D

just dont mind enjoy it :D lol my mom calls me her lil maulvi so many times lol and my grandma (nani) she always says :p kathar wahabi , you get all sort of things thrown at u, ahle hadith, extreme, crazy , LOL and the best reply is ALHUMDULILAH :D

so enjoy it because most people dont even have the priviledge of getting nick names ;) lol

JazakAllah khair for your post akhi :)

:wasalam:
 

slaveofAllah88

Slave of Allah (swt)
Bold part made me laugh. Yeah we all got designated, no? I was called "Albaani" for quite sometime. Alhumdulillah they got over that one. Shaykh Albaani would have had a heart attack, had he known that a thing like me was called "albaani".

To be honest akh, had you not been talking about a "beard" I would have thought you were narrating my story. I'm still having trouble finding some like-minded fellows here, but I suppose that could be 'cos I moved places and things are still new for me.

JazaakAllaahu khayraa for sharing you experiences.

BaraakAllaahu feek.

:salam2:

i just wanted to say, due to my studies i move alot too and we are talking like different countries not even cities, but :) Alhumdulilah we always have TTI, so praise be to Allah :) we are very blessed
:wasalam:
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baraakaatuh,

SubhanAllah being called "Albaani".Being associated with Sheikh Albaani(alyhirrahmah) is good I guess masha'Allah heh.

It takes time insha'Allah all of us have to face this situation and Allah takes us out of it,insha'Allah.As,an iron is made strong by beating and some things face harsh weather to be seasoned,Allah in our early days gives us hard trials so that inha'Allah we can be prepared for the later part of our lives.Wallahu 'aalam,but there are only lessons in the past and that has helped me grow as a person and a muslim,alhamdulillah.Learning from mistakes,that is what we can all do and strive to be a better person every single day insha'Allah.
Wassalamu 'alaykum warahmatullah

Yeah maybe. I suppose what I didn't like about it was the "taunting" tone. Especially when they use the name of someone you respect so much, as if it's an abuse. Sort of like an insult to the one you respect. That hurts. I started quoting shaykh Bin Baaz and Ibn Uthymin after that. I guess they had a problem catching up with the names.

My family Alhumdulillaah came around. They had exposure to some of the Salaf stuff in umrah and some books and Allaah aided me with all this. They started agreeing and in some cases depending on me. If something "uncultural" was to happen, it was because of "Me", weather or not poor me had the honor of getting involved in it.

They keep on slipping though. My cousin is about to get married, and from the past six months I'm telling my parents I won't be going and they are telling me I'm going. Three weeks are left. I hope Allaah sends help from Ghaib and saves me and everyone else from that Club minus liquor party. I think a tantrum is going to be unavoidable.

Ikhlaaq is real hard to practice in accordance to the Qur'an and Sunnah. For me atleast. Someone with a strong Imaan will be a lot better than I am. I ask Allaah's help without Whose help, I can't live a second.

Alhumdulillaah for everything He's provided me with.

:salam2: wa rahmatuallhi wa barakatuhu

:) bhai your thread really put a smile on my face, May Allah (swt) bless you and preserve you - ameen

His post, my thread. yea. . .

:salam2:

i just wanted to say, due to my studies i move alot too and we are talking like different countries not even cities, but :) Alhumdulilah we always have TTI, so praise be to Allah :) we are very blessed
:wasalam:
Alhumdulillaah, yes. I spend a lot of time on TTI when things become a lil unbearable, that irritates my people. I irritate them, they irritate me. When my sisters here go through "no activity" period. That turns me off. Everything combines = Usually a big mess (in my head).
 

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
:salam2: wa rahmatuallhi wa barakatuhu

:) bhai your thread really put a smile on my face, May Allah (swt) bless you and preserve you - ameen

and bhai dont worry at all lol i am starting to enjoy these names :D lol :p im surprised u didn't mention maulvi lol cuz people always refer to as like look at that maulvi , Maulvi sahib lol offcourse its not in a sweet way but Alhumdulilah :D

just dont mind enjoy it :D lol my mom calls me her lil maulvi so many times lol and my grandma (nani) she always says :p kathar wahabi , you get all sort of things thrown at u, ahle hadith, extreme, crazy , LOL and the best reply is ALHUMDULILAH :D

so enjoy it because most people dont even have the priviledge of getting nick names ;) lol

JazakAllah khair for your post akhi :)

:wasalam:

wa 'alykumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,
Alhamdulillah bhai,
JazakAllahu Khayr for your dua and same to you,Ameen.
Masha'Allah may Allah always keep you smiling.ameen
I have started to be accustomed to them myself,heh,I have learnt that life is too short to be sad,worried or anguished about what people say or about anything at all.So yeah there is no sense in lamenting or being depressed about things,just have to go with flow ,insha'Allah ; )
Lol masha'Allah lil molvi is kinda cute.My cousin used to call me"aaj ka maulana".."the maulana of present age",in a joking sort of manner and yeah I got called "maulvi sahab" as well :-D .

JazakAllah khayr bro for your kind words waBarakAllahu feekum.

PS:TTI ne sambhal liya mujhe bhai :-D bi'idhnillah Alhamdulillah


Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baraakaatuh,



Yeah maybe. I suppose what I didn't like about it was the "taunting" tone. Especially when they use the name of someone you respect so much, as if it's an abuse. Sort of like an insult to the one you respect. That hurts. I started quoting shaykh Bin Baaz and Ibn Uthymin after that. I guess they had a problem catching up with the names.

My family Alhumdulillaah came around. They had exposure to some of the Salaf stuff in umrah and some books and Allaah aided me with all this. They started agreeing and in some cases depending on me. If something "uncultural" was to happen, it was because of "Me", weather or not poor me had the honor of getting involved in it.

They keep on slipping though. My cousin is about to get married, and from the past six months I'm telling my parents I won't be going and they are telling me I'm going. Three weeks are left. I hope Allaah sends help from Ghaib and saves me and everyone else from that Club minus liquor party. I think a tantrum is going to be unavoidable.

Ikhlaaq is real hard to practice in accordance to the Qur'an and Sunnah. For me atleast. Someone with a strong Imaan will be a lot better than I am. I ask Allaah's help without Whose help, I can't live a second.

Alhumdulillaah for everything He's provided me with.

Wa 'alaykumassalam WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuhu,
Yes when scholar are mocked that is really hurtful but Alhamdulillah glad that your family came around and understood the way of salaf.

It takes time and insha'Allah but things do sort themselves out by Allah's leave.There will always be that "itch" that was left carved in our pwople's minds due to the many deviant ideologies that have prevailed in our society.It has repelled many people from Islam,that is why when people have wrong image in their mind,they start to relate everything to it.

We might never escape our image of being "against culture"but insha'Allah that is for our own good as people are returning to the right way and insha'Allah being torch bearer in our family is a good thing I guess.

My cousin sister,who used to be a "metalhead" and wear western clothes,Qur'an had such an impact on her that she suddenly transitioned from them to hijab and finally to Niqab masha'Allah tabarakAllah.She used to cry at nights saying,"how wrong we are!",while listening to Qur'an.She also heard many things from people around her but alhamdulillah now she is happily married in a practicing muslim family and getting her education in Islamic studies.Now our same family members consider her a jewel and pride of our family.So Allah provides from sources,we cannot even imagine for those who fear Allah as he says in the Qur'an:
"...And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out.And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent."[65:2-3]

Insha'Allah we can all try to better ourselves as muslims,that is what life is,a life long battle ,striving to do good and not oppress ourselves or others and being the best we can for Allah's sake.Indeed none has the power and no one has the ability except Allah.
Alhamdulillah for everything.

 

slaveofAllah88

Slave of Allah (swt)
His post, my thread. yea. . .

yes true,


Alhumdulillaah, yes. I spend a lot of time on TTI when things become a lil unbearable, that irritates my people. I irritate them, they irritate me. When my sisters here go through "no activity" period. That turns me off. Everything combines = Usually a big mess (in my head).

true, and just a tip i remind myself of salam al farsi (May Allah (swt) bless him) of the hardships he went through so inshAllah we should be thankful atleast we have a plateform where we can learn about the deen and talk about it

wa 'alykumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,
Alhamdulillah bhai,
JazakAllahu Khayr for your dua and same to you,Ameen.
Masha'Allah may Allah always keep you smiling.ameen
I have started to be accustomed to them myself,heh,I have learnt that life is too short to be sad,worried or anguished about what people say or about anything at all.So yeah there is no sense in lamenting or being depressed about things,just have to go with flow ,insha'Allah ; )
Lol masha'Allah lil molvi is kinda cute.My cousin used to call me"aaj ka maulana".."the maulana of present age",in a joking sort of manner and yeah I got called "maulvi sahab" as well :-D .

JazakAllah khayr bro for your kind words waBarakAllahu feekum.

PS:TTI ne sambhal liya mujhe bhai :-D bi'idhnillah Alhamdulillah

wa iyak ya akhi

btw lol that is very funny :D aaj ka maulana ;) you should have a talk show :D aaj ki baat maulana ji ke sath hehe :) ALhumdulilah akhi

true TTI ne sambhala howa hai :)
 

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
wa iyak ya akhi

btw lol that is very funny :D aaj ka maulana ;) you should have a talk show :D aaj ki baat maulana ji ke sath hehe :) ALhumdulilah akhi

true TTI ne sambhala howa hai :)

ROFL subhanAllah that made me laugh,actually my cousin proposed the radio talk show as well :D
he used to tease me with voice overs :D
Alhamdulillah for TTI and everything
 

MuslimShadow

Junior Member
Assalamo alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Same here.I can relate to you all.

I turned religious overnight at the age of 13.Big change for me and for everybody else.Five times regular salah and quran reading.

Yeah.......i felt weird in my own home.I too was given the taunt.Things have changed now.

At 14, i went to attend a wedding of my aunt.There were many of my relatives.I was shocked to see that they had little affinity to their own faith.Nobody cared for salah.Basically due to lack of knowledge.

I used to pray regularly.My relatives noticed.They were like 'ooh you pray so regularly'.......trust me it was a "mocking tone".

Oh how much i wish to make them see Islam through my eyes.How beautiful it is!!

It's a coooooooool way of life.!!!!....:) :cool: .They just don't realize it.

My life, my death and my sacrifice are all for ALLAH.
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baraakaatuh,

Assalamo alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Same here.I can relate to you all.

I turned religious overnight at the age of 13.Big change for me and for everybody else.Five times regular salah and quran reading.

Yeah.......i felt weird in my own home.I too was given the taunt.Things have changed now.

At 14, i went to attend a wedding of my aunt.There were many of my relatives.I was shocked to see that they had little affinity to their own faith.Nobody cared for salah.Basically due to lack of knowledge.

I used to pray regularly.My relatives noticed.They were like 'ooh you pray so regularly'.......trust me it was a "mocking tone".

Oh how much i wish to make them see Islam through my eyes.How beautiful it is!!

It's a coooooooool way of life.!!!!....:) :cool: .They just don't realize it.

My life, my death and my sacrifice are all for ALLAH.

BaraakAllaahu feek for sharing your experience ukht.

May Allaah aid you in your struggles.


Wa 'alaykumassalam WaRahmatullahi WaBarakatuhu,
. . .
Alhamdulillah for everything.



BaraakAllaahu feek your encouragement and kind words.
 
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