Procedure to convert my girlfriend to Islam
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Muhammad_A
Penguin fancier
If she really wants to convert through her own conviction that Islam is the right religion (and not just so she can marry you) then she should take the Shahadah ASAP.
And Islamic weddings don't have to huge, lush affairs. In fact... it's probably better if they aren't.
And Islamic weddings don't have to huge, lush affairs. In fact... it's probably better if they aren't.
umm hussain
Junior Member
Asalam alaikum
Instead of worrying to much about her changing her name and about the wedding you should really be worrying about making taubah(repentance) for the sin you are committing of taking a girlfriend and put a stop to it as soon as now. Like the brother said as well is she really accepting Islam or she is pressured to 'accepting' it to get married to you?
Anyway about changing the name a person does not have to change their name upon accepting Islam unless it has some bad meaning e.g being named after an idol or some god.
Question:
Is it mandatory for one who newly embraces Islaam to change his or her name?
Answer:
al-hamdu lillaah.
He or she is not required to change his or her name unless it embodies the worship of someone or something other then God, Allaah. However, its amelioration by choosing a new Islamic name is legitimate and encouraged. The fact that he or she would change his or her name from a pagan or non-Islamic name to an Islamic one would be considered commendable--however, it is not mandatory.
Thus, if one's name is Abdul-Messiah, for example, or similar such names, then he is obligated to change it, as the Prophet (peace upon him) had people with the names Abdul-Ka'bah and Abdul-Uzzah change their names upon accepting Islaam.
If the original name does not comprise or imply anything forbidden in Islaam, then he or she is permitted to retain it (such as the name George, for example). As noted, though, it is preferable to change it to an Islaamic name, as this also distinguishes him or her from the kuffaar.
Note that if changing one's name in official documents and records poses a great inconvenience, it would suffice to change it among the people. In this case, he or she is called by his or her new name by friends, acquaintances, and the general public, while official documents would retain the original given name
Instead of worrying to much about her changing her name and about the wedding you should really be worrying about making taubah(repentance) for the sin you are committing of taking a girlfriend and put a stop to it as soon as now. Like the brother said as well is she really accepting Islam or she is pressured to 'accepting' it to get married to you?
Anyway about changing the name a person does not have to change their name upon accepting Islam unless it has some bad meaning e.g being named after an idol or some god.
Question:
Is it mandatory for one who newly embraces Islaam to change his or her name?
Answer:
al-hamdu lillaah.
He or she is not required to change his or her name unless it embodies the worship of someone or something other then God, Allaah. However, its amelioration by choosing a new Islamic name is legitimate and encouraged. The fact that he or she would change his or her name from a pagan or non-Islamic name to an Islamic one would be considered commendable--however, it is not mandatory.
Thus, if one's name is Abdul-Messiah, for example, or similar such names, then he is obligated to change it, as the Prophet (peace upon him) had people with the names Abdul-Ka'bah and Abdul-Uzzah change their names upon accepting Islaam.
If the original name does not comprise or imply anything forbidden in Islaam, then he or she is permitted to retain it (such as the name George, for example). As noted, though, it is preferable to change it to an Islaamic name, as this also distinguishes him or her from the kuffaar.
Note that if changing one's name in official documents and records poses a great inconvenience, it would suffice to change it among the people. In this case, he or she is called by his or her new name by friends, acquaintances, and the general public, while official documents would retain the original given name
MubarekMuslimah
Junior Member
it is as simple are repeating the shahadah with clear conviction and beleif in the heart. She should then take a full bath afterwards ( ghusl) and then pray 2 rakats if possible.
If she believes she should do this ASAP -but she needs to be clear on her belief, what it means to be a muslim and a muslim woman and wife and the changes in her life she will need to make - i.e wearing hijab when she feels ready ( it is fard) and praying, zakat etc. Its not big chnages and if she belives these should come easily to her insha'allah.
May Allah swt bless you both with a long happy marriage - as soon as she has done shahadah you can do the marriage - it can be very low key if you wish and needs 2 witnesses. You also need to fulfill the other requirements like she needs a Wali and also you need to give her dowry etc. i will find some information and post it for you insha'allah.
But most of all it is imperative that she is converting to Islam becasue she wants to and because she believes in the Oneness of Allah swt and worship to Him, alhamdulillah.
salaams
If she believes she should do this ASAP -but she needs to be clear on her belief, what it means to be a muslim and a muslim woman and wife and the changes in her life she will need to make - i.e wearing hijab when she feels ready ( it is fard) and praying, zakat etc. Its not big chnages and if she belives these should come easily to her insha'allah.
May Allah swt bless you both with a long happy marriage - as soon as she has done shahadah you can do the marriage - it can be very low key if you wish and needs 2 witnesses. You also need to fulfill the other requirements like she needs a Wali and also you need to give her dowry etc. i will find some information and post it for you insha'allah.
But most of all it is imperative that she is converting to Islam becasue she wants to and because she believes in the Oneness of Allah swt and worship to Him, alhamdulillah.
salaams
Salaam Dear Brother,
For your girlfriend to be a muslim she needs to say the shahadah and mean it from the heart. For your wedding all you need is a person who can perform ur nikah and preferably two witnesses.
My advice to you is that you ask yourself is she only becoming a muslim to marry you? or is it because she sees the truthfulness and beauty of Islam.
The other thing brother you need to bear in mind is that you are going to be the closet muslim to her once you guys get married inshallah. So you need to know the Deen yourself and be a practising muslim yourself.
The last thing you need is your children growing up in a family full of mixed signals.
Brother if ur not practising then start Inshallah its the only way forward, plus you cant tell her to do something which you are not doing urself.
Allah hates hyporcrits..... May Allah(swt) forgive me for my sins and any hyporcrisy i have in my heart and may Allah (swt) forgive all the muslim ummah for there sins, say ammen brother.
Finaly its better you guys get married then live in sin. Thats my own personal opinion though.
I was listening to a talk by mulana the other day and he said there is conditions on marrying a non-muslim woman or as we know the people of the books.
1. That she is not a mushrikeen (a person who associates partners with Allah)
3. That she does not oppose or hate islam.
I will get you the name of the mulana and you can listen to his CD yourself inshallah.
Salaam
Abu Eesaa
Brother please forgive me if i have offended you because that was not my intention. Make dua and ask Allah aslo to forgive me if my speech caused you any offence. Jazak Allah
For your girlfriend to be a muslim she needs to say the shahadah and mean it from the heart. For your wedding all you need is a person who can perform ur nikah and preferably two witnesses.
My advice to you is that you ask yourself is she only becoming a muslim to marry you? or is it because she sees the truthfulness and beauty of Islam.
The other thing brother you need to bear in mind is that you are going to be the closet muslim to her once you guys get married inshallah. So you need to know the Deen yourself and be a practising muslim yourself.
The last thing you need is your children growing up in a family full of mixed signals.
Brother if ur not practising then start Inshallah its the only way forward, plus you cant tell her to do something which you are not doing urself.
Allah hates hyporcrits..... May Allah(swt) forgive me for my sins and any hyporcrisy i have in my heart and may Allah (swt) forgive all the muslim ummah for there sins, say ammen brother.
Finaly its better you guys get married then live in sin. Thats my own personal opinion though.
I was listening to a talk by mulana the other day and he said there is conditions on marrying a non-muslim woman or as we know the people of the books.
1. That she is not a mushrikeen (a person who associates partners with Allah)
3. That she does not oppose or hate islam.
I will get you the name of the mulana and you can listen to his CD yourself inshallah.
Salaam
Abu Eesaa
Brother please forgive me if i have offended you because that was not my intention. Make dua and ask Allah aslo to forgive me if my speech caused you any offence. Jazak Allah
UmmOf3
Junior Member
Salaam aleikum
Just for the record, its not haram for a muslim man, to marry a revert who is not a virgin. It might be understood that way by some, I just want to make that clear. Its not haram to marry a nonmuslim woman who was previously married, or in long-term relationship with a man, either. She must not be promiscuos, and not have "slept around", but a widow or divorcee is fine, if she knows that also in her religion, christianity or judaism, sex outside marriage is not alowed.
Who is mulana?
Just for the record, its not haram for a muslim man, to marry a revert who is not a virgin. It might be understood that way by some, I just want to make that clear. Its not haram to marry a nonmuslim woman who was previously married, or in long-term relationship with a man, either. She must not be promiscuos, and not have "slept around", but a widow or divorcee is fine, if she knows that also in her religion, christianity or judaism, sex outside marriage is not alowed.
Who is mulana?
Thank you all for your thoughts and wishes
I am not going to lie by saying that she is totally convinced about islam. I am of the notion that it takes a certain age for all us to discover our true selves and decide where we belong. I am sure all of you who have answered my questions here are well above their twenties and were given enough time to strengthen your faith in Islam.
Unfortunately this cannot be done in my situation for lack of time. How long can one expect to wait. On top of that there is pressure from parents to not delay the marriage. At the same time, she is not being forced to convert at all. She has chosen to do so of her own will.
I would like to thank all of you for your feedback and advice.
I am not going to lie by saying that she is totally convinced about islam. I am of the notion that it takes a certain age for all us to discover our true selves and decide where we belong. I am sure all of you who have answered my questions here are well above their twenties and were given enough time to strengthen your faith in Islam.
Unfortunately this cannot be done in my situation for lack of time. How long can one expect to wait. On top of that there is pressure from parents to not delay the marriage. At the same time, she is not being forced to convert at all. She has chosen to do so of her own will.
I would like to thank all of you for your feedback and advice.
Salam,
First of congratulations. Inshalla, you will have a long and prosperous life together.
Second, as you reside in the states please contact a masjid and they will inform you of all the legalities. Marriage laws vary i.e. the paperwork involved, the blood tests etc. Also, in some states you have to have a dual ceremony. You have to have a civil marriage in addition to a sacred rite. Don't ask why. ( money thing). This is true if you plan a wedding at a masjid in another state...
Please keep in mind when a person enters Islam the past is over...a new relationship starts. Islam is very serious, probably the most serious thing in your life for it gives life purpose and meaning.
Be very kind and gentle to your beloved. It is no small matter.
First of congratulations. Inshalla, you will have a long and prosperous life together.
Second, as you reside in the states please contact a masjid and they will inform you of all the legalities. Marriage laws vary i.e. the paperwork involved, the blood tests etc. Also, in some states you have to have a dual ceremony. You have to have a civil marriage in addition to a sacred rite. Don't ask why. ( money thing). This is true if you plan a wedding at a masjid in another state...
Please keep in mind when a person enters Islam the past is over...a new relationship starts. Islam is very serious, probably the most serious thing in your life for it gives life purpose and meaning.
Be very kind and gentle to your beloved. It is no small matter.
justoneofmillion
Junior Member
murad wilfried hofmann
this is sooooo cool thousands of reverts to islam in germany every year according to statistics a little more women reverts than man and most of them iknow it doesn`t matter but most of them are academics ,doctors,lawers according to a report on german national tv women talked most of all about the misconseptions about musilm women in the medias and men were saying how they found metodic disiplin and truth in islam, the journalist was kind of wondering that despite the negative propaganda and the never ending documentaries and predujudicious reports and all the money and energie spent to the distortion of islam`S image and fool their population leting them grow in a difficient understanding of the world surrounding them to keep them feed the capitalist machine but more and more germans are proving to be the inheritors of their great philosofers and rationalist thinkers , goethe and kant."if islam is the submission to to will of god then we all live and die in islam"johan wolfgang von goethe in "westöstlischen divan
dear brothers and sisters i wanna tell you about brother Murad Wlifried Hofman for those who don`t already know him i have his books and i learned a lot by reading them.Dr Hofmann who accepted islam in 1980 was born in catholic germany in 1931 he graduated from Union college in New york and completed his legal studies at munich university where he received a doctorate injurisprudence in 1957 he became research assistentfor the reforme of federal civil procedure, in 1960he received an LLMdegree from harvard university law school .he was director of information for nato in brussels from 1983 to 1987 he was posted as german ambassador to Algeria in and morrocco in 19190 where he served for 4 years.he performed ummrah in 1982 and hajj in 1992 .several key experiences led Dr Hofmann to islam the first one began in 1961 when he was posted to Algeria as attache in the german embassy and found himself in the middle of guerilla warfare between french troops and Algerian liberation front whivh was fighting fotr algerian independence for the past eight years .ther he wittnessed the cruelty that the algerian population endured every day nearl dozens of people wrekilled "close range execution style only for being arab or for speaking out for independence " "i wittnessed the patience resiliance of the Algerian people in the face of extreme suffering and their disiplne during ramadan their confidence of victory as well as their humanity amidst misery"he felt it was their religion that made them so and there of course he started studying Islam and the Quran"and i have never stopped reading it until this very day!"Islamic art was the second experience for Dr hofmann in his journey to islam from his early life he has been a fond of art and beauty but all these wre overshadowed when he came to know islamic art wich made an intimate appeal to him he mentions:"it`s secret seems to lie in the intimate and universal presence of islamas a religion in all of it`s artistic manifestations,calligraphy space filling ,Arabesque, ornaments ,carpet patternsmosque and housing architecture as well as urban planing ,i am thinking of the brightness of the mosquewhich banishes any mysticalvision ,of the democratic spirit of the architecture ,am also thinking of the introspecive quality of the muslim olace , their anticipation of paradise in gardens full of shade fountains and rivers ,the intricate socially functional structure of old islamic urban centers (madina al munawara), which fosters community spirit andthe transparency of the market, tempers heat and wind and assure the integration of the mosque and adjacent welfare for the poor ,so blissfully islamicthe tangible effect which islamic harmony presents itself,the islam as a way of life and the treature of space leave on both heart and mind!"
perhaps more than all this, what made more significant impact on his quest for the truthwas his through knowledge of christian history and doctrine he realised that there was a significant difference between what a faithful christian believes and what the history proffesor at the university teaches.he wasparticularly troubled by the churche`s adoption of the doctrine estabilished by st paul in preference of the historical jesus"he who never met jesus with his extreme christology the original and judeo christian view of jesus" he found it very difficult for him to accept that mankind that mankind is burdened with "the original sin"and that god had to have his own "son" tortured and murdered on the cross in order to save his own creation or "learn" to forgive " ibegan to realise how monstrous even blasphemic it is ! to immagine that god could have been fallen too short in his own creation that he could have been unable to do anything about the disaster supposedly caused by adam an eve,without beggeting a son only to have him sacrefied in such bloody manner so that god might suffer for mankind his own creation so that he the knower of everything might learn to understand them"
he went back to various basic questions of the existence studying the work done by phylosophers such as wittgenstein,pascal ,kantand swinburn and came to the intellectuall conviction of the existence of god and the next step that he faced was how god communicates with human beings so that they can be guided this led him to aknowledge the need for revelation but wich one was right judeo christian scriptures or islam?
he found the answer to this question in the follwing verses of the quran "no bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another "53:38this verse opened his eyes and provided the answer to his dilemma clearly and unanbiguosly he rejectedthe idea of original sinand the expectation of intercession by saints "a muslim lives without religious hierarchie when he prays he doesn`t pray to jesus or to mary or saints but he prays directly to god as fully imancipated believer this religion is free of mystery"
for his sons 18th birth day he prepared a 12 page manuscript containing the things that he considers unquestionably truefrom a philosophical prspective.he asked a muslim imam named muhammad ahmed rassoul in cologne germany to take a look at it after reading it the imam said that if Dr hofmann truly believed what he wrote than he was a muslim!few days after dr murad wilfried hofmann took his shahada and until this day he continues to write books attend lectures all over the world from europe to japan from america to the gulf and he also works for ceveral islamic projects.
dear brothers and sisters it is 3 in the morning my time am so tired but thank god i work in the afternoon tomorrow ,see we all come from different places from different backgrounds with our own unique life experiences , some of us are "born muslims" some"reverted to islam" and inshallah much more are still to come yet we find ourselves as brothers and sisters this is the greatest feeling i have ever hadlet us stay strong and united may allah bring us togheter with in his forgivness just as he brought us togheter in this life!ameen
this is sooooo cool thousands of reverts to islam in germany every year according to statistics a little more women reverts than man and most of them iknow it doesn`t matter but most of them are academics ,doctors,lawers according to a report on german national tv women talked most of all about the misconseptions about musilm women in the medias and men were saying how they found metodic disiplin and truth in islam, the journalist was kind of wondering that despite the negative propaganda and the never ending documentaries and predujudicious reports and all the money and energie spent to the distortion of islam`S image and fool their population leting them grow in a difficient understanding of the world surrounding them to keep them feed the capitalist machine but more and more germans are proving to be the inheritors of their great philosofers and rationalist thinkers , goethe and kant."if islam is the submission to to will of god then we all live and die in islam"johan wolfgang von goethe in "westöstlischen divan
dear brothers and sisters i wanna tell you about brother Murad Wlifried Hofman for those who don`t already know him i have his books and i learned a lot by reading them.Dr Hofmann who accepted islam in 1980 was born in catholic germany in 1931 he graduated from Union college in New york and completed his legal studies at munich university where he received a doctorate injurisprudence in 1957 he became research assistentfor the reforme of federal civil procedure, in 1960he received an LLMdegree from harvard university law school .he was director of information for nato in brussels from 1983 to 1987 he was posted as german ambassador to Algeria in and morrocco in 19190 where he served for 4 years.he performed ummrah in 1982 and hajj in 1992 .several key experiences led Dr Hofmann to islam the first one began in 1961 when he was posted to Algeria as attache in the german embassy and found himself in the middle of guerilla warfare between french troops and Algerian liberation front whivh was fighting fotr algerian independence for the past eight years .ther he wittnessed the cruelty that the algerian population endured every day nearl dozens of people wrekilled "close range execution style only for being arab or for speaking out for independence " "i wittnessed the patience resiliance of the Algerian people in the face of extreme suffering and their disiplne during ramadan their confidence of victory as well as their humanity amidst misery"he felt it was their religion that made them so and there of course he started studying Islam and the Quran"and i have never stopped reading it until this very day!"Islamic art was the second experience for Dr hofmann in his journey to islam from his early life he has been a fond of art and beauty but all these wre overshadowed when he came to know islamic art wich made an intimate appeal to him he mentions:"it`s secret seems to lie in the intimate and universal presence of islamas a religion in all of it`s artistic manifestations,calligraphy space filling ,Arabesque, ornaments ,carpet patternsmosque and housing architecture as well as urban planing ,i am thinking of the brightness of the mosquewhich banishes any mysticalvision ,of the democratic spirit of the architecture ,am also thinking of the introspecive quality of the muslim olace , their anticipation of paradise in gardens full of shade fountains and rivers ,the intricate socially functional structure of old islamic urban centers (madina al munawara), which fosters community spirit andthe transparency of the market, tempers heat and wind and assure the integration of the mosque and adjacent welfare for the poor ,so blissfully islamicthe tangible effect which islamic harmony presents itself,the islam as a way of life and the treature of space leave on both heart and mind!"
perhaps more than all this, what made more significant impact on his quest for the truthwas his through knowledge of christian history and doctrine he realised that there was a significant difference between what a faithful christian believes and what the history proffesor at the university teaches.he wasparticularly troubled by the churche`s adoption of the doctrine estabilished by st paul in preference of the historical jesus"he who never met jesus with his extreme christology the original and judeo christian view of jesus" he found it very difficult for him to accept that mankind that mankind is burdened with "the original sin"and that god had to have his own "son" tortured and murdered on the cross in order to save his own creation or "learn" to forgive " ibegan to realise how monstrous even blasphemic it is ! to immagine that god could have been fallen too short in his own creation that he could have been unable to do anything about the disaster supposedly caused by adam an eve,without beggeting a son only to have him sacrefied in such bloody manner so that god might suffer for mankind his own creation so that he the knower of everything might learn to understand them"
he went back to various basic questions of the existence studying the work done by phylosophers such as wittgenstein,pascal ,kantand swinburn and came to the intellectuall conviction of the existence of god and the next step that he faced was how god communicates with human beings so that they can be guided this led him to aknowledge the need for revelation but wich one was right judeo christian scriptures or islam?
he found the answer to this question in the follwing verses of the quran "no bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another "53:38this verse opened his eyes and provided the answer to his dilemma clearly and unanbiguosly he rejectedthe idea of original sinand the expectation of intercession by saints "a muslim lives without religious hierarchie when he prays he doesn`t pray to jesus or to mary or saints but he prays directly to god as fully imancipated believer this religion is free of mystery"
for his sons 18th birth day he prepared a 12 page manuscript containing the things that he considers unquestionably truefrom a philosophical prspective.he asked a muslim imam named muhammad ahmed rassoul in cologne germany to take a look at it after reading it the imam said that if Dr hofmann truly believed what he wrote than he was a muslim!few days after dr murad wilfried hofmann took his shahada and until this day he continues to write books attend lectures all over the world from europe to japan from america to the gulf and he also works for ceveral islamic projects.
dear brothers and sisters it is 3 in the morning my time am so tired but thank god i work in the afternoon tomorrow ,see we all come from different places from different backgrounds with our own unique life experiences , some of us are "born muslims" some"reverted to islam" and inshallah much more are still to come yet we find ourselves as brothers and sisters this is the greatest feeling i have ever hadlet us stay strong and united may allah bring us togheter with in his forgivness just as he brought us togheter in this life!ameen
virtualeye
Tamed Brother
AssalaamuAlaikum,
Dear brother,
You yourself have to take out some time and think at what level in Islam you are standing now. From your couple of posts I guess that your all business is about marrying to her and the problem is how to convert her and marry her.
At the same time I appreciate that you are at least taking care of the Islamic values.
Please keep in mind that her reversion should be for the sake of Islam. What if you will not marry her, will she revert? If not then she is only reverting to marry you, so this is not for the sake of Allah but for your sake.
I strongly recommend you study some more Islamic literature before having any emotional decision. If you put you emotions aside and try to infer if she really has such a character that she will come stronger in faith with the passage of time then it is good for you both. On the other hand, if she is hardly becoming Muslim for marriage purpose then she might stay nonbeliever from heart.
Wasslaam,
VE
brother4ever
Junior Member
:salam2:
Brother
First of all I would like to know why she want to convert becoz she want to marry with u.
That's not right tell her to change her Niyat means to join Islam.
ALLAH HAFIZ
ur brother
Brother
First of all I would like to know why she want to convert becoz she want to marry with u.
That's not right tell her to change her Niyat means to join Islam.
ALLAH HAFIZ
ur brother
Dear brother,
My last mail to in regards to marrying a non muslim.
I heard a good talk on this and other advice by Sheik Khalid Yasin, callled Some Advice to Muslim women. It may be an idea to by this Cd and listen to it and also give it to ur girlfriend to listen to.
If you dont mind me asking what religion is your girlfriend.
Just remember you may plan on marrying this Girl but Allah(swt) is the best of planners. What you might think is good for you may in fact be bad and what you think may be bad for you may infact be good.
My advice to you is make plenty of Istikhara prayers with an open heart and let Allah(swt) guide you. If its meant to be Allah(swt) will make it easy and if its not then Allah(swt) will put obstacles in your way so this marriage does not take place. You have to trust in Allah(swt) and not let your own desires be the judge and let you think she is right for you.
Salaam
Abu Eesaa
My last mail to in regards to marrying a non muslim.
I heard a good talk on this and other advice by Sheik Khalid Yasin, callled Some Advice to Muslim women. It may be an idea to by this Cd and listen to it and also give it to ur girlfriend to listen to.
If you dont mind me asking what religion is your girlfriend.
Just remember you may plan on marrying this Girl but Allah(swt) is the best of planners. What you might think is good for you may in fact be bad and what you think may be bad for you may infact be good.
My advice to you is make plenty of Istikhara prayers with an open heart and let Allah(swt) guide you. If its meant to be Allah(swt) will make it easy and if its not then Allah(swt) will put obstacles in your way so this marriage does not take place. You have to trust in Allah(swt) and not let your own desires be the judge and let you think she is right for you.
Salaam
Abu Eesaa
junaid hasan
Banned
alhamdulillah all brother speak about the right things.
but we should also watch how strong is the iman of this brother who wanna marry her?
he should try to increase his iman and its also not possible that he can practise whole islam in a moment. he needs time . i think if that girl want to marry him then its better to tell her the main things of islam and after being married they should keep islam infront their eyes ; will try to to practise islam and also try to increase their iman.
sorry for my poor english
allah knows the best
but we should also watch how strong is the iman of this brother who wanna marry her?
he should try to increase his iman and its also not possible that he can practise whole islam in a moment. he needs time . i think if that girl want to marry him then its better to tell her the main things of islam and after being married they should keep islam infront their eyes ; will try to to practise islam and also try to increase their iman.
sorry for my poor english
allah knows the best