2nd wife OR pleasure of Allah (SWT)?

[Globalpeace]

19 year old Muslim Brother!

Asslamo Allaikum,

I know of a 19 year old Muslim brother who married a 28 year old widow with a boy. On his wedding day brothers were making fun of me with things like, “O! so you like experienced women, etc.”

And he said, “At least I can stand in front of Allah (SWT) & say that I fulfilled the Sunnah of Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam)”

They have now been married for about 10+ years, happily; Alhum-do-lillah & have I think 2 more kids.

Good point; Br Junaid.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Dear brothers, I am going through separtion at this time. I am older than my husband. I understood there are many things he wished to do that were no longer important to me. We had to go our separte ways.
If there was an option for pologomy, I think I would not be in the situation I am in now. I have taken on a termendous amount of responsibility. I read once where marriage is like two trees. One is an oak, the husband and the other a cyprus like a wife. ( Kahlil Gibran). They are together but individual. Why not have a grove with one stately oak, and several cyprus trees.
I am not advocating that it is the best thing for everyone. I am simply suggesting that at times, it is better for the family than divorce. The children are provided for by a father being present at all times.
A father is the most important figure in a child's life. Marriage has little to do with romantic love and a lot to do with family strenght.
I pray this makes some limited sense. Once again, this is simply a humble womans opinion. I pray that I have spoken the truth.

 

[Globalpeace]

Pain & Anguish!

W-Salam,

Allah (SWT) commanded it so it makes absolutely perfect sense.

It’s not pretty and it hurts a lot and many of us have been through it; the pain and the anguish is unbearable at time. You begin to second-guess your life, your decisions, your personality in order to analyse the root problem and a lot of times it’s not you BUT the other person.

Relationships can’t work without BOTH parties seeking to compromise; otherwise its just straight bullying and harassment. Men and women can only take so much of bullying and harassment before breaking down. We all need to be loved and cared for. You try your best and then destiny takes over & does its bits.

Sis, don’t despair and don’t hit the PANIC button yet.

Remember the sun always rises after a dark night without fail!

P.S: How come TTI doesn't have a Matrimonial section?

Salaam,

Dear brothers, I am going through separtion at this time. I am older than my husband. I understood there are many things he wished to do that were no longer important to me. We had to go our separte ways.
If there was an option for pologomy, I think I would not be in the situation I am in now. I have taken on a termendous amount of responsibility. I read once where marriage is like two trees. One is an oak, the husband and the other a cyprus like a wife. ( Kahlil Gibran). They are together but individual. Why not have a grove with one stately oak, and several cyprus trees.
I am not advocating that it is the best thing for everyone. I am simply suggesting that at times, it is better for the family than divorce. The children are provided for by a father being present at all times.
A father is the most important figure in a child's life. Marriage has little to do with romantic love and a lot to do with family strenght.
I pray this makes some limited sense. Once again, this is simply a humble womans opinion. I pray that I have spoken the truth.

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

P.S: How come TTI doesn't have a Matrimonial section?

Because there is NO NO NO way we'd be moderating all the stuff going on! Astagfirullah... that is a major hassle ... one that we don't want to get into, or direct the site towards, or change the focus of. We might, no will have, people coming here solely for that purpose and nothing more. And half these people might not be educated Muslims, they may be that Seeking "Liberating Muslim" or "Sensitive Chrisitian" type or something. And that would be to hard to keep track of and maintian...

the thought itself is beyond comprehension... no suggesting it! Let's stick to Correcting Misconceptions!! inshallah

wasalam

 

[amyaishazouaoui]

P.S: How come TTI doesn't have a Matrimonial section?


:salam2:

Errrrrmmm have you seen muslim matrimonial sites bro??? They are like ruuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn sccccccccaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrreeeeedddd!!!

We used to look on the for my friend. There are always more brothers than sisters.

Let me give you an example : Hi my names Ahmed, I'm 25, from italy and I have a right to remain in europe.
(In reality he look about 45, driving a dodgy loking rust bucket of a renault laguna and it probably from some far flung corner of iraq and came here underneath a lorry!!!!)(not to mention that he looks vaguely farmiliar as one of those men who used to bug the sisters in vic square in birmingham ...you knw by the "floozie in the jaccuzzi"!!!)

OK there are always exceptions to the rule but I think that if it was a matrimonial site then it would be abused and there would be alot of trouble!! Can we not just go to the masjid and ask our trustworthy brothers/ imam/ best mates hubby/ wife etc etc etc!! I KNOW I WOULD. Ya catch my drift. I do not want to be bugged by brothers asking for my or any other revert sisters numbers or emails so that we can get married to them....now hang on, I already have!!!!!!!!!

Oh the stories, I could be here for hours!!!

 

[junaid hasan]

Asslamo Allaikum,

“O! so you like experienced women, etc.”

.

yes why not. if woman is older then she has experience about a lot of things. she can also compromise a lot of things. if she were 18 or 22 then her blood is warm, she always will not argue but if that girl or woman is experienced then she will be able to get some good results which is helpful for a family.

 

[q8penpals]

We all know that there is a big problem in Muslim communities today. There are huge numbers of unmarried sisters who can't find husbands.

One of the reasons of that big problem is that the number of young men in such countries is much less than that of young women.

Assalam aliekum

If you follow news from China and India specifically, (the 2 most populous countries in the world), there is a greater shortage of men worldwide than women. There are areas of China and India where there are only an average of 60 marriageable women for every 100 men. This is what female infanticide and 1 child per family have done to these countries. Also, many African countries have similar problems - one would think there would be more women because of the wars, but the rape & murder & suicide of/by women left behind as well as the high death rate of women in childbirth, actually evens things out a bit.

The unfortunate problem is that the greater number of men looking for wives do not live in the areas where there are greater numbers of women looking for husbands.

Woe to the world.

Lana