Globalpeace
Banned
Asslamo Allaikum,
Ok, enough faffing around with 2nd wives & Alfa-Romeos; I am a grown up & this is what I really think...
• It is fact that we men lust after women
• It is a fact that after our wives have a few children; they are not in such a great physical shape as they once were
• It is fact that we men are permitted to have a 2nd wife; even for lust
But let’s think about this for a minute here…
Our wives have sacrificed their well being, health and carried our children in their wombs for nine months; should be then abandon them?
Allah (SWT) commands us (men) to be merciful and kind to our wives and ask yourself honestly; is it kindness to abandon her when she has worked herself to death and no longer (as) attractive?
Allah (SWT) commands us to payback favours with bigger (and greater) favours. Is that how we pay them back?
Why can’t we make a pact with Allah (SWT) & say, Ya Allah! You know that my wife is unable to satisfy my desires fully but I will guard my gaze and I will put my desires in check and I will do this to payback all the things that she has done for me for the years; in return I ask for your pleasure & I ask for Jannah!
If your wife has supported you through building a career or university then it’s even worse (morally) to abandon her & upgrade to a newer, prettier, cuter model!
Even if your wife gets disabled (Allah forbid) why can’t we do a deal with Allah (SWT)? Let’s help someone and stick by them through thick and thin till forever and forever…
Now! Lets get to the subject of sisters needing husbands…
When we meet such a Sister...
Why can’t we say “You are my Sister in Islam and in need; I will support you in everyway I can (Islamicaly permissible) for the sake and pleasure of Allah”. I want nothing in return but Jannah. Sister! Think about this…Do you really want to be my 2nd wife JUST because I can financially support you?...Do you think you will be happy? Why can’t we support Sisters in need without asking for favours? Don’t we think that its pretty cheap motives? Why can't we rise above pettiness.
Remember! A sister in a dire situation is NOT thinking straight! Help her get to happinees & have your reward with Allah (SWT).
If she is attractive why can’t we say (honestly), “Sister you are more beautiful then my wife and you are attractive to me. BUT do you really want to build your happiness upon the shattered dreams of another woman”? My brother (Alkhathiri ) is also looking for a wife and he has none! I think you should prefer him over me.
Anyway I really think like this & I have probably offended someone on the way.
If 1st wife is happy/willing & 2nd is happy and everything is hunky-dorey & no ones' feeling will be hurt; then go for it....BUT I can sure this is almost nonexistent. Most women learn to COMPROMISE and that is different to being HAPPY!
Also physical needs of a sister are a different story as well! If a woman happily finds someone attractive and wants to be a 2nd wife & 1st one realises the situation & understand the needs of the husband; then that’s also a different story.
Comments Welcome!
Remember Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said to Ali (RA) that it would hurt him if he took a 2nd wife as Fatima (RA) was his favourite daughter...So why hurt people's feelings for our lusts! (Can't find the reference, now!)
Ok, enough faffing around with 2nd wives & Alfa-Romeos; I am a grown up & this is what I really think...
• It is fact that we men lust after women
• It is a fact that after our wives have a few children; they are not in such a great physical shape as they once were
• It is fact that we men are permitted to have a 2nd wife; even for lust
But let’s think about this for a minute here…
Our wives have sacrificed their well being, health and carried our children in their wombs for nine months; should be then abandon them?
Allah (SWT) commands us (men) to be merciful and kind to our wives and ask yourself honestly; is it kindness to abandon her when she has worked herself to death and no longer (as) attractive?
Allah (SWT) commands us to payback favours with bigger (and greater) favours. Is that how we pay them back?
Why can’t we make a pact with Allah (SWT) & say, Ya Allah! You know that my wife is unable to satisfy my desires fully but I will guard my gaze and I will put my desires in check and I will do this to payback all the things that she has done for me for the years; in return I ask for your pleasure & I ask for Jannah!
If your wife has supported you through building a career or university then it’s even worse (morally) to abandon her & upgrade to a newer, prettier, cuter model!
Even if your wife gets disabled (Allah forbid) why can’t we do a deal with Allah (SWT)? Let’s help someone and stick by them through thick and thin till forever and forever…
Now! Lets get to the subject of sisters needing husbands…
When we meet such a Sister...
Why can’t we say “You are my Sister in Islam and in need; I will support you in everyway I can (Islamicaly permissible) for the sake and pleasure of Allah”. I want nothing in return but Jannah. Sister! Think about this…Do you really want to be my 2nd wife JUST because I can financially support you?...Do you think you will be happy? Why can’t we support Sisters in need without asking for favours? Don’t we think that its pretty cheap motives? Why can't we rise above pettiness.
Remember! A sister in a dire situation is NOT thinking straight! Help her get to happinees & have your reward with Allah (SWT).
If she is attractive why can’t we say (honestly), “Sister you are more beautiful then my wife and you are attractive to me. BUT do you really want to build your happiness upon the shattered dreams of another woman”? My brother (Alkhathiri ) is also looking for a wife and he has none! I think you should prefer him over me.
Anyway I really think like this & I have probably offended someone on the way.
If 1st wife is happy/willing & 2nd is happy and everything is hunky-dorey & no ones' feeling will be hurt; then go for it....BUT I can sure this is almost nonexistent. Most women learn to COMPROMISE and that is different to being HAPPY!
Also physical needs of a sister are a different story as well! If a woman happily finds someone attractive and wants to be a 2nd wife & 1st one realises the situation & understand the needs of the husband; then that’s also a different story.
Comments Welcome!
Remember Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said to Ali (RA) that it would hurt him if he took a 2nd wife as Fatima (RA) was his favourite daughter...So why hurt people's feelings for our lusts! (Can't find the reference, now!)