5 Pros Of Getting Married Early

[TheAuthenticBase]

1) The husband and wife will be able to protect themselves from all the temptations that surround them. At a young age, temptation levels are at their peak and it is generally very hard to control one’s desires. This should be one of the top reasons for getting married young. This is also the age when the sex drive of the males is at its peak, and women have their highest levels of confidence, so this would be the best time to enjoy one another the most.

2) The couple will be able to grow together through good and hard times, and be a support for one another throughout their lives.

3) Younger people can adapt easily to changing environments and it’s easier for them to break bad habits as compared to people who are older. This can help the two to persevere throughout their relationship as they grow older and can live together as a happy couple.

4) Getting married young brings about responsibility and maturity at a much younger age. Both the wife and husband become more mature and responsible and settle into their roles. Also younger couples develop a love for each other and are generally more helpful with the other’s chores and responsibilities; they see each other as supporting roles in the relationship instead of concrete defined roles of a husband and wife.

5) Marrying young also has the benefit of having children early, making it easier for the couple to raise them since they themselves will be young and full of energy and will be able to relate to their children more. The couple’s parents can also enjoy playing with their grandchildren a lot longer as they will still be in their 40’s or 50’s.

Source

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
these are good advices,but I wonder how many people would and could marry young,if they are too busy by thinking more to their own wealthness or job.it's hard to see young people married and it's harder to see them living their marriage until they die.:astag:

 

[auroran]

:salam2:

my grandpa is disappointed in my cousin for getting married at 22 and so is my mom because her life is about school that's it (n so is mine) so if anyone wants to get married in my family it's later on. also i think my family would make fun of me n i don't know anything.

jazaaka Allaahu khayran for sharing.

:salam2:

 

[muslima2010]

Oh this makes me feel so good because im getting married soon inshallah. I'm only 19 and my fiance (don't know what else to call him lol) is only 21. I am attending my first year in college and plan to be a pharmacist. My family wasn't very accepting at first but they could not say no because than it would be haram to. They keep trying to tell me that i wont be able to finish school because i might get pregnant and raising a child is hard. I keep telling them that i will take precautions and that i know i cannot support a baby at the moment but i really want to marry him. I want to live a halal life and the only thing stopping me is not being married to him. I get lectured everyday by friends and family about how im too young and how im not even done with school but i keep reminding them that islam (my precious deen) comes before school or this worldly life. its also really hard because my family expect too much from him financially and they know he's only 21! Inshallah pray for me please and may allah make it easier on both of us and any young muslim couple trying to live a halal lifestyle.

 

[hayat84]

I too was 19 years old when I got engaged!what good times...when my heart beated so fast every time I meet my fiancè!it's almost 5 years I'm married and still feel that heartbreaking sensation.in Islam it's haram to have a deeper approach with somebody,may Allah keep your relation stronger.
I won't allow to my daughters to make the same mistake I did in the past,I pretend that they'll get married in a pure status,because it's Allah's Will to prevent fitnah.may Allah forgive me too,because I was ignorant:tti_sister:

 

[alf2]

Young marriages are hard, dont ever doubt that. But I think in the long run it is a good choice

When my husband and I were married we were 20 and 18

 

[sachin4islam]

Assalamu Alaikum:

Good advice indeed. My Mum was married when she was 16 and my father still pursuing his degree in medical sciences. I was married at 25. I think getting married early is subject to ones mental maturity and financial confidence. Also cultural and geographical factors are countable.

Sis Alf please note in threads by this brother free mixing even through communication is not appreciated.

Regards.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Posts like this concern me. They are stereotypical. In the box.

1. The confidence of a woman grows with age. The sex drive of a woman does not mature until she reaches her thirties. Sex is not the only temptation in the world. Trust me there are as many temptations as there are people. Temptation has nothing to do with age. That is an illogical definition.

2. Individuals have growth spurts. The oak and cypress tree do not grow at the same time. They have to support each other through the tough times. It takes patience to allow your spouse to enrich his/her life at a period that you are not able to.

3. Stereotype. Older people let go easier. They discard the things in life they no longer need. The downsize, emotionally and physically. Many have traveled a difficult path. To find someone who understands is more than all the gold in the world. As one ages the best comfort is faith.

4.Age has nothing to do with love and its depth. That is limiting Love. Love is not a check list. A trusting relationship does not necessarily have to have length and duration. It is a gift and treasure to be cherished.

5. An older parent still has energy. They make better parents as they devote their lives to the joy of children. There is no evidence that an older parent can not relate to their child. Relating to children is loving them and showing them the Path to Allah.

Yes, marriage is good but let us not cast outside when a person marries. Let us not make stereotypical statements.

If the brother does not wish to read my post he can overlook it. However, I am correcting some erroneous thinking to benefit everyone.

 

[hayat84]

a young body can carry on a young child.how can be it helpful,if two people get married too late and have children after their 40 years,when the children will be 30,maybe the parents will be died.
the body of a young woman can also tolerate the pregnancy more easily and the uterus is still elastic.
I had my first child when I was 22 and I judge myself to be a good mother,wife,lover,believer.I'll see my children growing up with me in sh Allah,they will give me many satisfactions in sh Allah.sex is a fixed point of those who get the inspiration from the images on tv or when they are part of groups of youngters who behave in a "mature" way,showing to the younger ones what it would be not showed.so,if a good,young parent knows the good principles to prevent to his children what is haram for them..well,what's wrong to be a young married woman?I came out from Haram things,I know that world and I'll not make my heirs know what can surely lead to the bad way.older parents,by myself have not the same patience to get up in the night.In Italy it is thought that the motherhood is a "right" of the woman,so by the opinion of some old women,it's right to make children at the age of 60 even if the body can't have anymore children:they use artificial fecondation and they feel ilike if they made a miracle.motherhood is a gift from Allah,but many ones don't apperciate it.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيكُم وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكَاتُهُ

The only problem in getting married when young is that many youth are not mature/experianced enough. By that, I mean that they may not be mature/experianced enough to take care/raise children, do house chores (I'm talking about both men and women), comfort/be supportive towards their spouse, and most importantly, to use their marriage as a means of Fearing Allah (SWT) and Winning His Mercy/Contentment (Ridwanullah).

I would advise the youth (men and women) to start practicing the above (like raising children, being openminded towards others, doing house chores, being responsible, etc.) when they reach the age of 15-16, and then by the time they are 17-18, they can (Inshallah Ta Alla) be mature/experianced/responsible enough to start their own family and to start a beautiful companionship with their wife/husband.

And Allah (SWT) knows best.

-Abdul Hasib al Hasan

 

[ShyHijabi]

:salam2:

Honestly I am glad I am an "older" mother. I feel much more patient than I would have been in my early 20s. Think about this, Kadijah (RA) was 40 when she married Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) and she bore him Fatima. My point is this, every one is different and therefore we must take those differences in account when making lifelong decisions.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Thanks sister...I, too, am an older mom. And you know what...think of how long we had to wait for those bundles of pure joy.

One of my favorite Southern expressions; age ain't nothing but a number.

What is willed by Allah subhana talla transpires. I am an advocate of young marriage. However, only Allah decides when Love is sent to us..for some we are blessed with youth and for others we have the Promise of Allah's Word.

 

[Shak78]

I get concerned when I see 16 year olds or younger who have children. You are not ready mentally, physically or emotionally to have a child at that young age. I am happy I had my son at 31, there is no way I personally would have been ready for parenthood that early in my life. While getting married young can be good it's a couple by couple case and as Sister Aapa said some things are sterotypical and won't work in real life. Marrying young can work but getting married too young won't. I think of the child brides that forced to marry at age 8 or 9 and I know that marriage won't be happy for them.

 

[ipanda]

I don't think getting married at young age gurantees any of that. In fact, I think getting married at mature age is better. Marriage is not soccer and so one simply can't learn it out of the blue. It takes a lot that only matured people get to experience in life. Mature people are patient and wisdomful than us - the younger ones who are influenced by this and that and likely to make decisions quickly. Thinking about it getting married at a rather mature age is better than at a younger age for various reasons.

 

[faaraa]

Jazakallahu Khair for the useful thread

 

[Tahir484]

Assalaamualaikum.Narrated 'Abdullah: We were with the Prophet while we were Young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O Young people! Whoever among you can marry , should marry , because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. hisprivate parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry , should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Book #62 , Hadith #4 )

Narrated 'Alqama: While I was with Abdullah, 'Uthman met him at Mina and said, "O Abu 'Abdur-Rahman ! I have something to say to you." So both of them went aside and 'Uthman said, "O Abu 'Abdur-Rah. man! Shall we marry you to a virgin who will makeyou remember your past days?" When 'Abdullah felt that he was not in need of that, he beckonedme (to join him) saying,"O 'Alqama!" Then I heard him saying (in reply to 'Uthman), "As you have said that, (I tell you that) the Prophet once said to us, 'O Young people! Whoever among you is able to marry , should marry , and whoever is not able to marry , is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power. (Book #62 , Hadith #3 )

Sahih Al Bukhari

 

[abulzan07]

I think if one is earning and matured enough than thr is no point in delaying a marriage.Lets be fair whats the point stayin single on your own and wasting your peak age(20-30) and if you are working out of native town its so hectic and at times difficult to stay away from fitnah specially when you lving alone on your own so it better to get married. Enjoy your peak age and thr wont be any difference what you plans or thought to do at 28-30 why not do it 20-22 if you have means to provide and matured enough.I have seen lot of brothers young who were most naughty people i know but once thy got married thy become so matured within few years.

but unfortunately most of people frm my community like asians marry around 28-30 and it would be consider so different to even say to your parents at 20-22 that i wanna get married even if you have means to provide its just culturally thing

 

[Ahsen]

It's just sad that in pakistan people marry when they are above 25.Mostly 28.

 

[sana2230]

is it me or do most women prefer older men mainly for that sense of security. As in men who have achieved a lot more in life?

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Welcome to TTI

No, there are some who look at other qualities. The Lady Khadijia married a man her junior.
Achievement has many meanings. Some women do find financial security in older men. Not all women. Often when a man has worldly success he will be very busy and his wife needs to be independent emotionally. In all honesty, I have seen many a wife stay at home with all the splendor wealth can buy and she is lonely.
Often older men have little tolerance for a younger wife. They have done it already. They are ready to sit still and the wife has energy. The husband can be bored.
Younger husbands can be a joy. They are still excited about life and take the disappointments in stride.

It is a balance. It is not age. Do you want a diamond on your finger the size of tea saucer and sit alone or do you want to count your pennies and get an ice-cream cone to share on a hot summer night.


A wife must meet two requirements. She must be obedient and respectful to her husband. It is that simple.
A woman must meet a man that she feels she can respect and be obedient to from the bottom of her heart.