5 Pros Of Getting Married Early

[True_Sultan]

I too was 19 years old when I got engaged!what good times...when my heart beated so fast every time I meet my fiancè!it's almost 5 years I'm married and still feel that heartbreaking sensation.in Islam it's haram to have a deeper approach with somebody,may Allah keep your relation stronger.
I won't allow to my daughters to make the same mistake I did in the past,I pretend that they'll get married in a pure status,because it's Allah's Will to prevent fitnah.may Allah forgive me too,because I was ignorant:tti_sister:

I am just wonder, what do you mean by having a deeper approach with somebody? Do you mean having a genuine love at first sight type of thing? I mean as a man, I won't just marry a girl that is beautiful or just marry a girl for her degree. She needs to be both beautiful inside out, needs to be independent, smart and is like the other half of me in a sense that she is my backbone and she likes me for me and i do the same. So i just wanted to know what do u mean by deeper approach and why is it haram.

About the 5 reasons, both the OP and Aapa have good points, earlier marriage is dependent on opinion. I would love to find love at an early age, but i would need to be able to give and raise a family. Also if one can find love early and as well continue on with lifes goals and answers at the sametime then hey, its all goood :lol:

 

[hayat84]

I am just wonder, what do you mean by having a deeper approach with somebody? Do you mean having a genuine love at first sight type of thing? I mean as a man, I won't just marry a girl that is beautiful or just marry a girl for her degree. She needs to be both beautiful inside out, needs to be independent, smart and is like the other half of me in a sense that she is my backbone and she likes me for me and i do the same. So i just wanted to know what do u mean by deeper approach and why is it haram.

brother,before my marriage I wasn't muslimah,but I liked my boyfriend's religion.by deeper approach I meant just what you may think.if I was muslimah and aware I would have waited until marriage,but at those times,another kind of love overcame to me.:shymuslima1:

 

[Just a Guy]

Well it may be too late for me. I am 35 and have never been married.

Lately though I have been thinking about this especially since I just became a Muslim. It has been suggested to me several times that I should find a good Muslim wife who can help me with my faith. I have a couple of reasons for not doing this and a couple why I should, so I am really on the fence about this.

My reasons for not doing it are complex. First off, I don't want to look like I became a Muslim just to get married. I've tried the "find religion to find women" thing and it doesn't work. I don't want to do that here. I also need to become a better man before I can become a husband (if I ever do).

Second, I have some issues in my life that I can't ask a sister to share. I am going to have to tell my family at some point that I am a Muslim, and I don't think it would be fair to ask a woman to bear that burden with me. This is my jihad, my burden to bear, and I must bear it alone, for as long as Allah wills that I should bear it.

Now I do have a couple of reasons why I am considering finding a wife. For one, I'll admit, I'm lonely. I'm 35, single, and most of my friends have settled down and started a family by now. I feel left behind, and quite simply, I am tried of being alone. The last couple of days have been really hard for me as I feel alone in my new life. I don't really have any Muslim friends outside of the brothers at the masjid.

Second is like it was suggested to me, that maybe she could help me with my own faith. She could pray with me and help me become a better man, as I help her become a better woman. That does sound like a good idea, but I'm not sure it's practical at this point for the reasons I listed above.

So I don't know. I'm really stuck on this one.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

No, you are not stuck. You are in a growth spurt.

You have reached a good age to marry. You are a mature man.

The good thing about marriage is you have someone to share the burden and fun of life with you.
Take time out to read what Islam says about marriage. It is very different. Islam encourages marriage.
Trust me you will start to have marriage offers.

I just read something and I hope it will make sense to you. As an adult we no longer have the fears we did when we were five. You do not have to live to fulfill anyone's expectations. You are now a slave of Allah's and not a slave of mankind.

 

[IbnAdam77]

Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh brothers and sisters

I would like to mention here that I personally agree with what the brother has mentioned at the start of this thread. As usual, I have my reasons to claim this.

Before that, I am now 22 and yet do not have the means to support a wife, and the sister to whom I am engaged to, will also be 22 this year inshaAllah. Please pray for us my dear brothers and sisters.

Below are my reasons inshaAllah. I do hope you will look on them and correct me if I am wrong.

1) Prophet of Allah (pbun) said, "O Youth (of this Ummah)! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts." (Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)

So if we delay marriage after being blessed with means of supporting a wife, I believe it could be doubting the words of Prophet of Allah (pbuh). Plus, the Hadith mentions that it is more modest for the gaze and safer for our private parts. Verily, Allah says in Surah al-Najm, Verses 3 and 4, "Wamaa Yantiqu 'Anil Hawaa, In Huwa Illa Wahyun You'haa".


2) Prophet of Allah (pbuh) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." (Bayhqi)

Why don't we rush up to fill this half of our religion at earliest as possible?

Think about this, Kadijah (RA) was 40 when she married Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) and she bore him Fatima. My point is this, every one is different and therefore we must take those differences in account when making lifelong decisions.

My dear sister, with full of respect to your words, I would like to mention that according to the most trusted Seerah book among the Scholars of the Ummah which is called Al-Ra'heequl Makhtoumi, the age of Khadija (dadiyallahu 'anha) when she got married to the Prophet (pbuh) was 28 (twenty eight), not 40. Yet, I am also aware that the famous word among the Ummah is that she was 40. From the huge comparison from what my Seerah Ustaaz has taught us, it is more accurate that she was 28 and not 40. Allah knows best!

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[auroran]

:salam2:

What happens to a person who doesn't marry? Are they missing half their deen?? What if person thinks having a spouse and having kids is uncomfortable.

Insha' Allaah ta'aala I will make du'aa' for you.

:salam2:

 

[Just a Guy]

I think I'm just going to have to fast as the Prophet (pbuh) says that if a man cannot marry, he should fast.

I have too much going on in my life right now, and I can't and won't ask a sister to share this burden. I can't really be part of a family if I can't even introduce my parents to my wife because I haven't told them that I am Muslim yet. It's not fair to her.

So I'll have to fast and pray that Allah will get me through this storm. This path I must walk alone, for as long as Allah wills it.

If He wills that I should marry, well then I will worry about that when the time comes. But for now I think my path is clear.

Or am I being too noble here? That thought has crossed my mind as well...

 

[IbnAdam77]

:salam2:

What happens to a person who doesn't marry? Are they missing half their deen??

Wa'alaikumussalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh sister

I fear Allah to say anything about that two questions, for I do not have knowledge to say something on it.

What if person thinks having a spouse and having kids is uncomfortable.

InshaAllah this will help you! The question which the questioner asked might seem different than yours, but please read the answer of Sheikh Munajjid. Its here.

Insha' Allaah ta'aala I will make du'aa' for you.

JazakiAllahu khairan katheera dear sister.

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[Asja]

Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh brothers and sisters

I would like to mention here that I personally agree with what the brother has mentioned at the start of this thread. As usual, I have my reasons to claim this.

Before that, I am now 22 and yet do not have the means to support a wife, and the sister to whom I am engaged to, will also be 22 this year inshaAllah. Please pray for us my dear brothers and sisters.

Below are my reasons inshaAllah. I do hope you will look on them and correct me if I am wrong.

1) Prophet of Allah (pbun) said, "O Youth (of this Ummah)! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts." (Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)

So if we delay marriage after being blessed with means of supporting a wife, I believe it could be doubting the words of Prophet of Allah (pbuh). Plus, the Hadith mentions that it is more modest for the gaze and safer for our private parts. Verily, Allah says in Surah al-Najm, Verses 3 and 4, "Wamaa Yantiqu 'Anil Hawaa, In Huwa Illa Wahyun You'haa".


2) Prophet of Allah (pbuh) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." (Bayhqi)

Why don't we rush up to fill this half of our religion at earliest as possible?



My dear sister, with full of respect to your words, I would like to mention that according to the most trusted Seerah book among the Scholars of the Ummah which is called Al-Ra'heequl Makhtoumi, the age of Khadija (dadiyallahu 'anha) when she got married to the Prophet (pbuh) was 28 (twenty eight), not 40. Yet, I am also aware that the famous word among the Ummah is that she was 40. From the huge comparison from what my Seerah Ustaaz has taught us, it is more accurate that she was 28 and not 40. Allah knows best!

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Assalamua allaicumu wa raahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Jazzak Allah kahir dear brother for sharing this very useful thread. Alhamdulillah, I belive as well that Muslims should marry very early and in their young ages for the sake of Allah subhan wa teala and to protect thier chasity and modesty. Alhamdulillah, it is from teaching of Islaam that we should get marry young, but offcourse if the husband is able to maintain his wife and thier children Inshallah,and if one find righteous Muslim husband or wife for himselfe or herselfe.

Although we have many examples of Sahabahs of our Prophet Mohammed sallahu alayha wa saalam who were poor in their time, but they still married and those Muslim woman who feared of Allah subhan wa teala were pleased and happy for what they had SubhanAllah and how much thier husband could afford them. And we should always take thier examples and apply it in our lifes Inshallah, as I believe that marring young can bring only good to Muslim like individual but as well to al Muslims society as it protects Muslims and help them to lower their gaze, to not commit zinaa Astagfirullah. May Allah protect us all from this evil. Ameen Ya Rabby.

Dear brother Ibn Adam, in authenic Siraah about life of our Prophet Mohammed sallahu alayha wa saalam, is said and confirmed by our Ulama that Khadiya r.a., wife of our Prophet sallahu alahya wa saalam had 40 years when she got married for him. Inshallah you can read it in the authentic Siraah book The Sealed Nectar, Biography of the Prophet , by author Sheikh Safi-ur-Rahman al-Mubarkpuri, and read it to your Ustaaz.

May Allah forgive me if I said anything wrong to you brother,and guide us all to the right path.

Assalamu allaicumu wa raahmatullah wa baarakatuhu

 

[IbnAdam77]

Assalamua allaicumu wa raahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Dear brother Ibn Adam, in authenic Siraah about life of our Prophet Mohammed sallahu alayha wa saalam, is said and confirmed by our Ulama that Khadiya r.a., wife of our Prophet sallahu alahya wa saalam had 40 years when she got married for him. Inshallah you can read it in the authentic Siraah book The Sealed Nectar, Biography of the Prophet , by author Sheikh Safi-ur-Rahman al-Mubarkpuri, and read it to your Ustaaz.

Wa'alaikumussalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh dear sister

The meaning of Al-Raheequl Makhtoumi is "The Sealed Nectar". We have studied notes from that book you mentioned above my sister. It clearly says that the most appropriate say regarding the Age of Khadijah (radiyallahu 'anha) was 28 when she got married to the Prophet (pbuh).
:arabi1:

Read it sister.

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

There was a fourteen year difference between the Prophets first wife and him. I do not believe he was 14 when they wed.

 

[msmoorad]

salaams to all

please remember that Hazrath Khatija(RAD) was married TWICE before she married nabi (SAW).
she was not a virgin- this was not her first marriage.

im 37 & still single but i wish i was married long ago- like around 23-25.

i admire those who have married early as they have more stability & maturity in their life.
as muslims, our objective is to obey the orders of Allah ta'ala & the sunnah of Rasullullah (SAW). not to follow the ways & ideas of the kuffaar.
getting married as early as possible is a sunnah & its not befitting of a muslim to come forward with the same excuses & arguments that the kaafirs give for not getting married early.

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Good reply.

We are to encourage the ways of the sunna. It is our choice, to do so. For our brothers and sisters who are not married yet, let us make dua.

As to the age of the first wife of the Prophet, let us not dispute but provide evidence in the Islamic way. Let us find our sources which are universally recognized as sound and authentic.

It is really a source of liberation for women. The Prophet of Allah did not have a preference for the ages of his wives. He loved his wives. He was the best of husbands. He loved his children. He was the best of fathers. There are many lessons for us to learn just from this. He treated a mature woman with respect as he did a youthful woman.

To return to the topic..yes, it is good to marry early but not all can. The list provided at the start of the topic was stereotypical.

 

[Just a Guy]

Today I am fasting and praying, since the Prophet (pbuh) said that if a man cannot marry, he should fast. I don't think I can marry anyone right now, maybe not ever.

Allah will show me what I must do...

 

[IbnAdam77]

Inshallah you can read it in the authentic Siraah book The Sealed Nectar, Biography of the Prophet , by author Sheikh Safi-ur-Rahman al-Mubarkpuri, and read it to your Ustaaz.

Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh sister

As you said above, I read the English online translation of it, and that says 40. I need to ask my Ustaaz about it for sure, but he is not going to teach us anymore as the subject is over. Any way, inshaAllah I will clarify it more.

JazakiAllahu khairan katheeran for mentioning that sister. However, I have heard from different scholars about it too, so will look forward for it inshaAllah and will learn more.

In no means I am saying she WAS 28 for sure. I repeat, it is just one of the narrations which I heard as most authentic so far. This is not a big issue any way, but just curious to learn more inshaAllah.

Once again JazakiAllahu Khairan katheeran dear sister Asja.

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

[IbnAdam77]

Today I am fasting and praying, since the Prophet (pbuh) said that if a man cannot marry, he should fast. I don't think I can marry anyone right now, maybe not ever.

Allah will show me what I must do...

MashaAllah thats good brother. But try to fast not every day because that is not good.

 

[Asja]

Wa'alaikumussalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh dear sister

The meaning of Al-Raheequl Makhtoumi is "The Sealed Nectar". We have studied notes from that book you mentioned above my sister. It clearly says that the most appropriate say regarding the Age of Khadijah (radiyallahu 'anha) was 28 when she got married to the Prophet (pbuh).
:arabi1:

Read it sister.

Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Assalamu allaicum wa raahmatullah wa baarakatuhu

I did not clearly understood your posts dear brother, because in this authentic Siraah book it clearly sais that Khadiya raddiallahu anha was 40 years old when she got married for our Prophet Mohammed sallahu alayha wa saalam,and not 28.

My Allah forgive me if I misunderstood your words dear brother and increase our knowledge, Inshallah.

 

[Just a Guy]

I have a copy of the Sealed Nectar that I am reading through right now. I'm not that far into it yet though.

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalaamu alaikum,

akhi IbnAdam77....I have never heard of Khadija been just 28 years of age when she married? Most of the books I read on the seerah of our beloved prohphet (peace and blessings be upon him) stated that Khadija was indeed 40 when she married him. insha'Allaah check with your teacher again, I'd like to know if the number 40 is really correct or not. And Allaah knows best!

 

[abu_tamim]

1) The husband and wife will be able to protect themselves from all the temptations that surround them. At a young age, temptation levels are at their peak and it is generally very hard to control one’s desires. This should be one of the top reasons for getting married young. This is also the age when the sex drive of the males is at its peak, and women have their highest levels of confidence, so this would be the best time to enjoy one another the most.

2) The couple will be able to grow together through good and hard times, and be a support for one another throughout their lives.

3) Younger people can adapt easily to changing environments and it’s easier for them to break bad habits as compared to people who are older. This can help the two to persevere throughout their relationship as they grow older and can live together as a happy couple.

4) Getting married young brings about responsibility and maturity at a much younger age. Both the wife and husband become more mature and responsible and settle into their roles. Also younger couples develop a love for each other and are generally more helpful with the other’s chores and responsibilities; they see each other as supporting roles in the relationship instead of concrete defined roles of a husband and wife.

5) Marrying young also has the benefit of having children early, making it easier for the couple to raise them since they themselves will be young and full of energy and will be able to relate to their children more. The couple’s parents can also enjoy playing with their grandchildren a lot longer as they will still be in their 40’s or 50’s.

Source

This is a very beneficial post and a burning problem today is of delayed marriages in our community.