I have read many articles concerning this topic, and I have not come across any articles saying that it is Hadeeth Da'eef. I am a girl myself, and do not think it is unfair that the women of janna do not have the same reward men have if they die as shuhada'a. That is because Allah promised everyone that in Jannah, there will be no injustice served between the genders. And if Allah (SWT) promised eternal happiness, then why is there a reason to complain??? Jannah is not just about being with your husband and wife...it is about being rewarded for your actions in this life. If a non-muslim thinks it is unfair, then you should tell them that all Allah does is never unfair. And if any muslim says that one gender is superior to another, then he is commiting a sin for going against the words of Allah (SWT). I will continue to find proffecional comments on this topic (for there was a time when I asked the same exact question), but one should not say "Al-Hamdulillah" that the hadeeth is da'eef. Even if it was, we need to understand that Allah is giving all the believers a grand reward that is eternal. There are no words of evil there, and no disappointments. Jazaakum-Allahu-Khairan.
When I first read about Hoor Ul-Eeen, I myself became a little jealous as to why women can't have the same. But nevertheless, I wanted to be a little open minded about how that could be. I read more comments about "Hoor Ul-Eeen," some mentioned in the Quran, and others in commentary. It is said in hadeeth that all men with recieve a minimum of 2 wives. The shuhada'a will recieve 72. It is not just a mere myth. And the women of paradise will be much more beautiful than the women here on Earth. The women of this life will be the masters of the Hoor Ul-Eeen (according to the Imams in my masjid).
"Round about them will (serve) youths of perpetual (freshness)
With goblets, (shining) beakers, and cups (filled) out of clear-flowing
No after-ache will they receive therefrom, nor will they suffer intoxication
And with fruits, any that they may select
And the flesh of fowls, any that they may desire
And (there will be) Companions with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes
Like unto Pearls well-guarded
A Reward for the deeds of their past (life)
Not frivolity will they hear therein, nor any taint of ill
Only the saying, 'Peace! Peace'."
Al-Quran Al Kareem (Surat Al-Waqi'a Ayah 17-26)
In Arabic, the words "companians with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes" are translated into "hoor ul-eeen." Therefore, why would it not make sense that the shuhada'a (who died in the sake of Allah SWT) get 72? Allahu A'lam if the hadeeth is saheeh, but it is still good to consider that if it was true, there is no unfairness in Allah's divine judgement. May Allah reward all deserving men such a wonderful reward.
By the way "New Muslim...Slave of Allah," a little muslim naseeha (advise): You shouldn't be afraid about what the media says about Islam. If you are muslim and believe that what Allah says is true, then you wouldn't worry about what the kufaar think. Allah (SWT) is the all-knowledgeable, and only He can serve justice on the day of resurrection. It already states in the Quran that Hoor Ul-Eeen are real, so we shouldn't feel upset if the shuhada'a recieve 72. Inshallah Allah fills your heart with mercy and guidance (and pray the same for me too!). Salam.