a question

[almanar]

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh everybody.

I hope this post meet you in the best of your health and iman, inshaallah.

I just want to ask you if you have any knowledge about this.. does this hadith also apply to women when seeking her future husband ? ;

A woman may be married for four things: for her wealth, for her noble descent, for her beauty or for her religion. Choose the one who is religious, lest your hands be rubbed with dust! (Bukhari and Muslim)

More specific question; can a female see male's photo in her plan for marriage?

I hope my question can be understood.

Jazakumullah kheiran. Thank you.

 

[ahmed_indian]

1. of course...a muslimah must choose a pious man too.

2. not only a woman can see her husband-to-be photo but she can see him in real, talk to him, discuss their values and beliefs (but all in presence of her mahram).

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

:salam2: wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh sis
yes this hadeeth also apllies to woman when seeking for a husband
and yes the bride also needs to look at her husband-to-be usually during the taa'ruf session.
i once read in a hadeeth (sorry couldnt bring it here as i dont have the copy in english) that prophet Muhammad s.a.w urges one's who wants to propose to see the look of their future spouse even if photo but u can also see the person in real in the presence of mahram.
correct me if ive mistaken in any of my words
and Allah knows best
wa rahmatullah

 

[arzafar]

i have an absurd question, which troubles me.
thing is i like long hair a lot!!! in fact i cant imagine a wife without long, healthy, shiny hair. i don't know why would any woman want to have their hair short but some actually do.

Now since we cant see her hair, can we ask how long her hair is?
problem is that it just sounds so wrong but i don't wanna take a chance either.
maybe that's where sisters would come in handy. what if somebody doesn't have a mother/sister to 'see' the girl? i actually find that wrong too. i mean this is not a sale or anything that you need to scrutinize everything.

so any solutions???

 

[Aisya al-Humaira]

i have an absurd question, which troubles me.
thing is i like long hair a lot!!! in fact i cant imagine a wife without long, healthy, shiny hair. i don't know why would any woman want to have their hair short but some actually do.

Now since we cant see her hair, can we ask how long her hair is?
problem is that it just sounds so wrong but i don't wanna take a chance either.
maybe that's where sisters would come in handy. what if somebody doesn't have a mother/sister to 'see' the girl? i actually find that wrong too. i mean this is not a sale or anything that you need to scrutinize everything.

so any solutions???

:salam2:
a humble opinion from me
maybe if it happened that u'll marry to a girl with short hair,
well u can tell her later on that u would love to see her keep her hair long
becos she'll look more beautiful with longer hair - tell her so that she'll know
sometimes women have problems to keep their hair long such as dandruff so maybe she'll prefer to keep her hair shorter as to easier to be taken care of
jazakallahu khairan

 

[slaveofAllah88]

i have an absurd question, which troubles me.
thing is i like long hair a lot!!! in fact i cant imagine a wife without long, healthy, shiny hair. i don't know why would any woman want to have their hair short but some actually do.

Now since we cant see her hair, can we ask how long her hair is?
problem is that it just sounds so wrong but i don't wanna take a chance either.
maybe that's where sisters would come in handy. what if somebody doesn't have a mother/sister to 'see' the girl? i actually find that wrong too. i mean this is not a sale or anything that you need to scrutinize everything.

so any solutions???

:salam2: brother

cant you just ask her in the presence of her wali if she has long hair or short?

or is that not considered right?
just wondering

And pertaining to the real question
yes it refers to both like everyone said and you should meet the guy just not see the picture.
Here are some hadith to back up what i said and i think they apply both to men and women

narrated by Abu Dawood (2082) from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.”

and this is the hadith one of the brother referredto above

From Abu Hurayrah: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))

 

[arzafar]

:salam2: brother

cant you just ask her in the presence of her wali if she has long hair or short?

or is that not considered right?
just wondering

And pertaining to the real question
yes it refers to both like everyone said and you should meet the guy just not see the picture.
Here are some hadith to back up what i said and i think they apply both to men and women

narrated by Abu Dawood (2082) from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.”

and this is the hadith one of the brother referredto above

From Abu Hurayrah: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))

the problem is that this question sounds so wrong and mean. i mean i would not want anybody asking my sister, how long her hair is. id knock his head off! i guess that's why they never tell me when somebody is coming to see her. LOL!

but i think the other sister is rite, id wait for the hair to grow.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

the problem is that this question sounds so wrong and mean. i mean i would not want anybody asking my sister, how long her hair is. id knock his head off! i guess that's why they never tell me when somebody is coming to see her. LOL!

but i think the other sister is rite, id wait for the hair to grow.

:salam2:
brother its up to u if its somethign that important to u then u might as well find out about it umm wel u can always have ur sis find that out or ur mom

 

[a_muslimah86]

the problem is that this question sounds so wrong and mean. i mean i would not want anybody asking my sister, how long her hair is. id knock his head off! i guess that's why they never tell me when somebody is coming to see her. LOL!

but i think the other sister is rite, id wait for the hair to grow.

:salam2:

The question is not wrong akhi...sobhanallah...that's why Rasulullah (salla Allaho 'alayhi wa sallam) demanded that a man proposing sees the woman he is proposing to...and things like what you mentioned are factors which may create *mawada* between you and your potential bride...but *asking it* may provoke awkwardness and be easily misunderstood (like you're assuming already)

The best thing to do in a situation like this is to have the females in your family..tell you how long her hair is...

how?

well..normally the women have a small gathering over tea...lunch..or dinner when they are proposing or about to propose to a family either at that family's house or in your house..so by all means..ask your mother or sister to ask for the potential bride to join them (if she isn't already because of shyness..etc.)..and they can look at her hair and let you know because surely the sister will sit with them without her hijab...so they won't even *need* to ask her about her hair...her skin...or anything of that sort...

If this practice is not common in your community (it is common in mine)..then you can suggest it to your mother or sister (pretty much the eldest females in your family)...and it would be a means for you to know about your potential wife..and build mutual regard between the two families so you'll hit two birds with one stone..and Allah will decree that is which best!

 

[ahmed_indian]

Now since we cant see her hair, can we ask how long her hair is?
problem is that it just sounds so wrong but i don't wanna take a chance either.
maybe that's where sisters would come in handy. what if somebody doesn't have a mother/sister to 'see' the girl? i actually find that wrong too. i mean this is not a sale or anything that you need to scrutinize everything. so any solutions???

you can tell her: i would love my wife to have long beautiful hairs. do you like them to be long too?

there u'll get ur answer inshallah!

 

[Tabassum07]

I would think that if a guy directly asks a girl "Do you have long hair?" would be highly improbable and awkward. The best would be to get the women in your family find out for you, like other's have already said.

 

[eminbey]

Allah knows best

 

[almanar]

assalamualaikum


thank you very much for the replies. Jazakumullah kheiran.

I think i have found the answer for the original question ;

http://www.islamweb.net/ver2 /archive/article.php?lang=E&id=135444

 

[DanyalSAC]

So I wonder...at what point can one ask to see the photos of the other? I've talked to a couple women who email their entire photo albums at me by the 2nd email, and then there are others who say "no" after a month. Kinda hard to find an example

 

[hana*]

So I wonder...at what point can one ask to see the photos of the other? I've talked to a couple women who email their entire photo albums at me by the 2nd email, and then there are others who say "no" after a month. Kinda hard to find an example

from the first step, there is no problem in seeing the photos or meeting the girl in person (with her family) from day 1.

I think marriage is becoming hard nowadays, usually the girl's family is too demanding or the man is not well financially to think about marriage etc, its a sad reality, many dont consider the most important qualities: character and strong faith.