im a revert as well
Asalam alaikum sis, I had the same problem with my family as well, especially my mum, she said so many hurtful things and she even said I am no longer her daughter and has totally disowned me, and doesn't want anything to do with me and she was going to kill herself etc. She is Catholic, so i was raised as such, she said so many things to my extended family as well, At that point in time I had just accepted Islam so I didn't know any better and i just said to her if that's what you want then fine, we had a heated argument and i wasn't speaking to her, I mean this is how I used to react to her before islam anyway. The thing is after that argument she phoned the next day when she had calmed down, i hadn't really calmed down yet because you don't expect to hear such things from a parent especially a mum, any way she phoned to tell me that I shouldn't speak like that to her she was just emotional and i should know better as a daughter to back down and be humble, but she didn't raise me that way, even though she is Catholic she follows a lot of tradition as well and she is okay with dating etc, so she doesn't exactly practice what she preaches.
I am from Africa but at the moment i am living in England, so i really havent had the chance to meet the rest of my family(extended family) since I have reverted, i reverted in this country and i am dreading going back because I feel they are going to stress me, My aunties i.e my mums' sisters I'm sure are all waiting for the opportunity to have a go at me, my mum asked me to phone one of my aunts but I knew what she wanted to talk to me about, so i just didn't phone and I avoid phoning a lot of my family because I don't want the stress. My sisters' and brothers are alright alhamdulillah, they have the attitude that as long as what you are doing isn't going to affect us just go ahead but they can be easily influenced when my mum starts crying, she puts on a really 'good' act which wins the hearts of many but drives me crazy, If it wasn't for the respect i have to give my parents due to Islam i wouldn't be talking to her anymore but Alhamdulillah when I speak to her I don't mention Islam because that is what we agreed because it upsets her too much, so we are back on talking terms now.
The sad thing is haven't even told my dad I'm Muslim,but I'm sure he already knows from my mum, I don't want to have a confrontation on the phone, i would love to speak to him face to face or get my husband to speak to him, my husband is a revert as well, he took shahada about 3 months before I did and my dad tends to listen to him more, at the same time I know he can die anytime and it will be sad if i don't tell him about islam. My mum will be there as well so she has such an influence over him, so I don't know what to do.
I have asked another brother who is close to my dads' age to tell him a bit about Islam and he said my dad was listening and he has an open mind, I might send him some books but my mum will probably put them in the bin, she threatened my sister after I sent her some books telling her that if she decides to follow islam she will have to leave her house , and come live with me and she will not pay her school fees anymore so my sister was 'scared' to disappoint her even though she was disappointing them anyway by leaving the house going out with a boyfriend they didn't approve of, double standards isn't it?
I have to also avoid visiting relatives even though we have to keep family ties, because they are going to be drinking alcohol, listening to music, free mixing, for e.g my sis was expecting me to come to her house on 25th December and she was trying to trick me like she did last time but i said no and Inshallah I will visit her after the new year celebrations and I have made it clear to her that if she wants me to visit her, she or her husband shouldn't drink in our presence, it didn't go down well with her because she said if she comes to my house she understands she cant bring any alcohol but why shouldn't she drink in her own house i should respect her decision since it's he house. I simply said the ball is in your court if you want me to come, you have to respect my religion because I do not want the children to be in an unIslamic environment, so alhamdulillah she will put the alcohol and music away inshallah. That reminds me I will have to confirm with her before i ago because i don't want to travel all that way and end up coming back, she Lives a 6hr drive away from me. I guess sometimes if they see how strong you are in your faith they will eventually back down, because we have to remember since they are not muslims the Shaytan is definitely playing a major role in what they end up saying to make you turn away from the religion
Sis i think this is a big test we as reverts have to go through, the only thing i can say is be patient make a lot of dua for Allah to make things easy for you and us.
:ma: