Advice Needed-Mother with Mental Illness

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by SeaofAttainment, Oct 5, 2012.

  1. SeaofAttainment
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    SeaofAttainment Member

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    Assalamu Aleikum everybody,

    This is my first post on TTI.I'm hoping that as my brothers and sisters you can give me some insight into this situation.My situation is thus:I've lived with my mother for a few years since my parents divorced.Throughout the years my mother has suffered from periods where she is mentally unwell.At times she's really quiet and uninterested in most things and lethargic.At other times,which are more rare,she has manic episodes where she believes the most unbelievable of things.For instance,once she was staring at the TV and was absolutely convinced that the people on TV were her.Or that she spoke to her mother in real life, not like a dream or something,when in fact my grandmother died before I was even born.At these times she can be awake for days, fixated on one thing or another.I can't really describe it well right now,but even the other people around us notice when she is in a psychotic state.After a particularly bad episode,she was prescribed anti-psychotic medication by the psychiatrist which were for indefinite use.However,I learnt recently that my mother stopped using the meds months ago without my knowledge.When I asked her why she kept telling me that Allah cured her and that she didn't need it.At first I was against this but I thought I should just trust in Allah and leave her alone.However,the last two weeks I've noticed that she seems different and that some of her earlier symptoms seem to be reoccurring.I'm not sure what to do.I don't want to involve my father since they're divorced and my mum would dislike him being involved or any of her friends.At the same time I don't want to ignore the situation until she ends up having a full-blown manic episode where she loses touch with reality.I still trust in Allah but I think should be doing something instead of just sitting and worrying.

    I hope somebody can relate or give me advice.
  2. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    This is the internet. You are trying to describe a very personal medical issue.

    As we do not know your age perhaps it would be a good idea for you to talk to your father. You need help in taking care of your mother. It may be a good idea for your father and you to speak to her psychiatrist. It depends on your age. Maybe the doctor can recommend some respite solutions.
    You need assistance. The internet is not going to give you what you need. We can make dua.

    You need to speak to someone close to the situation. Your father is close. Work with him to help your mother.
  3. SeaofAttainment
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    SeaofAttainment Member

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    Thank you for replying sister Aapa.

    Firstly,I'm university-age.Yes,I do realise the internet may not the most appropriate method of dealing with the situation but I have limited options outside it.What I need help with, which I didn't clarify in the post, is whether I should seek the intervention of psychiatrists when my mother would be completely opposed to it from an islamic viewpoint.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thank you for replying sister Aapa.

    Firstly,I'm university-age.Yes,I do realise the internet may not the most appropriate method of dealing with the situation but I have limited options outside it.What I need help with, which I didn't clarify in the post, is whether I should seek the intervention of psychiatrists when my mother would be completely opposed to it from an islamic viewpoint.
  4. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    We have two schools of thought going on here.

    From an Islamic point of view both are valid.

    Medical model: there are drug therapies that would allow your mother to function as long as she is able to take the prescribed dosage and attend counseling. And her doctors need to be told of the overall picture.

    There are some who believe that treatment ( cures ) can be found by non-medical models. This is faith based. There is much literature found on this. Nothing heals like the words of the Quran.

    There could be a combination of both models.

    All I am trying to say is one does not exclude the other and the situation with your mother is not as bleak. InshaAllah, we will make dua for you and your family. Please get others to help you and you make sure you keep yourself well.
  5. Ahsen
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    Ahsen Junior Member

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    Walekumassalam,

    I think your mother has some issue which is disturbing her from inside. Psychiatrists will only run their business by selling you more medicines. They can't solve a single problem. I would advise you to have your mother see a hypnotherapist or a nlp practicioner. These people know how to bring out the real issues in a person. And your mother won't need any medicines with it. I don't know where you live, but if you can get a psychiatrist then I hope you can get the ones I mentioned.
  6. ShyHijabi
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    ShyHijabi Junior Member

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    My gosh the amount of ignorance i read in this thread..."psychiatrists will only run their business..." whatever.

    To the OP, what you are describing is Bipolar Affective Disorder type I. Your mother may need to be brought to an ER so she can be admitted and then stabilized on medication again. People with Bipolar can become so manic that they have psychotic symptoms and that sounds like what is going on with your mother. A psychiatrist is an MD, a medical doctor with training in psychiatric illness and treatment of them. We are not magic makers or charlatans. We deal with people who are profoundly ill and completely misunderstood by the society they live in. Psychiatrists make less than their colleagues out of all the medical doctors because mentally ill people are often too ill and under-treated to be employed. So for those who think we are in it for the money, try doing my job for even one day.

    Islam is a common sense religion and mental illness is no different than any other illness. You can literally measure the difference in a brain with mental illness than a healthy brain. The scholars agree that medication should not be shunned just as a Type I diabetic should take their insulin regularly or die. A lot of people die from their mental illness each year because they stop taking their meds and then have no judgement while in an ill state and get hurt or hurt themselves. Please OP, get your mother to a hospital or call 911.
  7. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    Unfortunately, the medical model is just as ignorant of the non-medical models. The choice of treatment is up to the individual and the family. There are many who believe that drugs are not the only cure. Often, many choose a more holistic model. Many cultures use herbs to cure mental illness. We still have many shamans who practice even in the big city.

    Whatever avenue you feel is the most beneficial go with that or use a combination. But, no matter what you decide always take the opportunity to recite the Quran at all times. Nothing heals like the words of Allah subhana wa taala.
  8. SeaofAttainment
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    SeaofAttainment Member

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    Thanks everybody for your responses.

    ShyHijabi,

    I called a mental health hotline since the psychiatrists are off-duty today and they sent over nurses to assess if she can be taken into the hospital.The thing is when they came over she was able to mask her symptoms and pretend everything was fine.That meant there was little they could do.However,she started deteriorating late afternoon and telling me about all her delusions.It's really frustrating because it seems like the mental health services can only intervene once the situation gets completely out of hand.Additionally,I keep trying to convince her to restart her medication,but in her manic state she doesn't see the need for it at all.
  9. um muhammad al-mahdi
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    um muhammad al-mahdi لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله Staff Member

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    assalamu alaykum sister,

    welcome to TurnToIslam mashaAllah!

    I have a question: is your mum Muslim? (sorry I ask 'cause I didn't understand if you are a revert or not mashaAllah).
    If so, have you thought or tried cures from Quran and Sunnah?

    jazakillahu khayran and may this test from Allah be a way for you to increase your imaan!
  10. SeaofAttainment
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    SeaofAttainment Member

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    Wa aleikum salam sister,

    Yes,my mother is Muslim.Well, other than general dua I haven't tried anything from the Qur'an or Sunnah.Are there specific hadiths or Qur'an verses that I should try?
  11. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    Sister,
    Start with Fathia. It works. I have used it and it works. Nothing soothes the soul more than the Words of Allah.

    This is a good source:http://islamqa.info/en/ref/21581
  12. Abd_Al_Hadi
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    Abd_Al_Hadi لبيك يا الله

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    But she stated that her mom was stable with the medicine prescribed by psychiatrists...doesn't that prove that psychiatrists solved the problem?


    Dr. Shyhijabi's response is the only legitimate response here.
  13. Casiva
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    Casiva A Servant of Allah

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    Assalamualaikum,
    Try these,Sister:

    1. Recite "BismIlahi arqiika minkulli syai-in yu’dziika minsyarri kulli nafsin au-ainiasadin Alloohu yasyfiika bismIlahi arqiika “ and blow it to your mother's body
    2. Recite Al-Falaq,An-Nas,and Al-Ikhlas then blow it to your hands and use them to wipe all of your mother's body
    3. Put your hand on your mother's head and recite “Bismillah" 3 times and "A’udzu bi-izzatillah waqudrotihi minsyarrima ajidu wa uhajiru” 7 times
    4. Write Ayatusy Syifa’ (healing verses), i.e. At-Taubah verse 14, Yunus verse 57, Al-Fushshilat verse 44, Al-Isra' verse 82, An-Nhal verse 69 on a paper and dip it in a glass of water dan make your mother drink it

    To avoid your mother's fury,you can do number 1-3 while your mother is sleeping and number 4 can be done without her knowledge of the contain of water (as long as she doesn't ask, you won't be sinned).
    I suggest combination of medical, alternative, and Islamic healings so the chance of recovery will be bigger. You can record your mother's sick state by video/visual or recorder/audio as proof to paramedic,of course without your mother knowing. And if your mother refuses to be healed,remind her of this verse, "Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves" (Ar-Rad verse 11). So basically Allah won't do anything to people if they don't make effort themselves. In other words,your mother won't recover by her own just by depending on Allah's blessing but she must do some healing treatments to make her condition better to gain Allah's blessing of recovery.
    That's all. I pray that your mother will recover soon. If you have another questions or just want to share, I will gladly help you. Just post it here or PM me :)
  14. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    Sister,

    It is not advised to write the verses of the Quran and dip the paper in water and drink it. It is a practiced but it better to recite.
  15. Casiva
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    Casiva A Servant of Allah

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    Waalaikumsalam,
    But it is said that Syeikh Imam Abilqasim Al Qusyairi had done it to his dying child and the child saved from death. I don't suggest it to be dipped too long either,just a few seconds. I think there is no harm in doing it. But it is up to the person's belief. Or you can do both : recite while dip it into water. Just trying to share my little knowledge to you, hoping it will be any of use. If it won't,well,I am just trying to help. Allah knows best ;)
  16. strive-may-i
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    strive-may-i Junior Member

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    Walaikum Salaam,

    Firstly, if what you say is true, May matters between you and your mother become easier... Ameen.

    Yes, the necessary treatment should be continued.

    How old is your mother? whats her illness? whats your condition? -- Black boxes. And, Doctors can be of two types , those who believe there is a creator and those who believe there is no creator, you should take their viewpoint too. No doctor will stop you from praying to creator seeking a solution. And billions will testify that their prayers were answered. With old age, a lot of health complications arise. Some elderly will stop listening and become non co-operative. Dont close the door of help. Be careful about the decisions you take and how you use your time. She and you both might need counselling.

    The Islamic viewpoint - "Cure is from creator, the treatment is from a competent doctor."
  17. Ahsen
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    Hypnosis and nlp uses the person's own mind to guide them to normality. It deals with deep issues rather than symptoms. Her mother used to act normally after taking the medicines because the medicine affected her mind.The medicine is for reducing the symptoms,not eliminating the real issue. If psychiatrists "solved" the problem then why did it arise again after stopping the medication,because they just work on the symptoms than working on the real issue.But there's a better way with hypnosis/nlp where people don't need any kind of medicine. If you want to know how powerful hypnosis can be then google "milton erickson". He treated all kind of problems with hypnosis and people are still learning his methods and applying them.You have a short session with an expert hypnotherapist and he will change your whole idea of life.

    Then there is reiki healing and the sedona method which don't need any medicines either. Many modern medicines damage our body and then we need more medicines to repair that damage.The above mentioned methods are safe and take a few minutes but their effects are lifetime inshallah.

    What can take a psychiatrist weeks and months to "solve" can nowadays be solved in a matter of minutes.
  18. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    Keep in mind this is the internet and we do not have any facts.

    I think the responses reflect the broad spectrum of services available to help those suffering from mental illness.

    It is pompous of us to disregard one model and belittle it. We are given a wide array to choose.

    It is best to gain understanding of where the mother feels the most comfortable. We do not know what she wishes. We do not know what she has undergone. We can only assist to a limited degree.

    And it is wrong to say that other methods outside of the medical are illegitimate. The medical model does not have an understanding of the illnesses of the soul. And no medical doctor would say they do. They can not make that claim. For Believers they know that the answers for illness of the soul comes from one source.
  19. ShyHijabi
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    ShyHijabi Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    It sounds as if you are doing all the necessary things, unfortunately mentally ill people can sometimes temporarily compensate in front of professionals to avoid treatment. Eventually though the symptoms peek out and the person can no longer hide their illness. Hypnosis is basically useless for an Axis I illness as they are chemical/neurological in nature and Bipolar is an Axis I issue. Hypnosis is more effective for Axis II disorders which fall under personality disorders and such. The symptoms return after the person stops their meds just like a type I diabetic will have extremely high blood sugars if they stop their insulin, this is body chemistry. But for the OP I feel she already knows all this and I am "preaching to the choir."

    If your mother improved on anti-psychotics then she may have schioaffective disorder, which is basically schizophrenia with a mood disorder component. Is it possible for you to call her regular psychiatrist (the one who prescribed the meds) and speak to him/her about the situation? This way the psychiatrist can have your mother hospitalized temporarily until she can be stabilized. Also, is their an imam or sheik nearby that can speak to your mother concerning the importance of maintaining one's health? This includes mental health but most Muslims tend to think only in the physical when it comes to self-care. If you want to speak privately please PM me and I will try to help as much as I can.



    In the meantime keep a journal of her behavior with times and
  20. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam alaikum,

    This is the internet. You can not diagnose without seeing the patient. That is entering into the legal arena. How can you come to an Axis I without seeing the patient. You have no clue what the history is. You do not know the medical history.



    And for the sake of argument what if she is possessed by a jinn? What would your professional opinion be?

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