American Convert Problems

[NatalieSiddiqui_334]

Assalamualikum Sisters and Brothers,

Since I have converted in June 2013, I have not heard from very many of the local muslims who would call/text me all the time to invite me for lunches and such and such. I feel as if their only goal was to convert me and now that I have they no longer want to be my friend. Whenever I meet muslim women (mostly south asian women) I will call them or ask them a question or ask for help on something and they always tel me to call the other american white sisters. Even the female scholar in my area has not helped me and tells me to call the white sisters as well... I call the female scholar so I do not have to talk to the male scholar and she doent want to help me. Maybe it is the area I am living in but allah have mercy I feel as if the south asian sisters in my area are racist. Even though my husband is Pakistani and we have a son together, I am learning Urdu and know enough to have a simple conversation. I do not know why they are acting this way. I have met maybe one or two asian sisters who are nice to me , other than that even when I greet the asian sisters in public they give such horrible stares as if they hate me. I was not expecting this reaction from the ummah. I am very disappointed. Please if anyone knows what I can do to help my situation please let me know.

Also I do wear full hijab as well as abaya so there is no doubt that I am muslim.

Any advice?

 

[MehmetHilmi]

I have realized that there is racism within certain Muslim communities in the US at least. For me, when I go to the local Pakistani/Indian mosque, I feel estranged. I also think they don't keep the mosque tidy enough and sometimes can come off as rude. I think you should go to another Islamic community. TO my experience at least, Turkish, or even Bosnian communities are the nicest. They are less strictly segregated and engage in dialogue events more often, which makes them tolerant of everybody. In fact I even remember a dialogue event in which our community visited a church. In the church, when we went to a separate room to pray Maghrib, some Christians from the event actually came and stood within our lines and made Salat. It was a weird but refreshing experience.

That is why my family celebrates every Eid and every Kandil and every national holiday at the Turkish cultural center, even though it is miles away from where we live.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

That is dispointing to hear! I don't know why some Muslims act like that, subhanalaah! you know I was watching a video on youtube where converts were talking about their experience when they first became Muslims and some said this same exact thing you are saying now. They said they didnt feel welcomed and felt isolated.

Here is my suggestion:

1. Talk with the imaam and explain to him exactly what you are going through so he can remind the people to be more kind and open minded in a lecture or during khutba, or

2. Find somewhere else as the brother suggested. Find another masjid or Islamic center where the people are more welcoming, friendly and you can find good friends.

 

[sclavus]

Assalamualikum Sisters and Brothers,

Since I have converted in June 2013, I have not heard from very many of the local muslims who would call/text me all the time to invite me for lunches and such and such. I feel as if their only goal was to convert me and now that I have they no longer want to be my friend. Whenever I meet muslim women (mostly south asian women) I will call them or ask them a question or ask for help on something and they always tel me to call the other american white sisters. Even the female scholar in my area has not helped me and tells me to call the white sisters as well... I call the female scholar so I do not have to talk to the male scholar and she doent want to help me. Maybe it is the area I am living in but allah have mercy I feel as if the south asian sisters in my area are racist. Even though my husband is Pakistani and we have a son together, I am learning Urdu and know enough to have a simple conversation. I do not know why they are acting this way. I have met maybe one or two asian sisters who are nice to me , other than that even when I greet the asian sisters in public they give such horrible stares as if they hate me. I was not expecting this reaction from the ummah. I am very disappointed. Please if anyone knows what I can do to help my situation please let me know.

Also I do wear full hijab as well as abaya so there is no doubt that I am muslim.

Any advice?

Peace and blessings, good sister!

No, no doubt about that! You are a Muslimah!

A long time ago, one French convert said that he praises the Lord for knowing Islam before socializing with Muslims..Islam and Muslims are two totally different things, most of the time.

You'll be more than disappointed as time goes by..The problem with us Muslims is that we do not practice what we preach. We are the worst advertizes for Islam. Racism is totally banned in this religion of all Mankind. There must be no distinction based upon race, country or color. Those who engage in this behavior are severely reprimanded in the texts. But, do they care? No.

America is the melting pool as one of my friends loves to say. You'll be able to find like-minded people who care about you and care about Islam. Look around you, be patient and trust in God.

Try to socialize a bit more with different people. I have a little experience with Bosnians, they are used to different faiths and colors and races in their country of origin, they tend to be a lot more comprehensive and helpful.

And, you still have these forums. I reckon that some sisters have left the place for reasons I don't know but you still have some that live in the U.S.

Hold on!

Be optimistic!

Trust in God!


Peace!

 

[Precious Star]

Unfortunately, Islam and muslims are invariably connected to "culture" and "immigration." You can't separate the two. This is the tragic part of the muslim ummah, and I'm sorry to be pessimistic but it will never change, so long as the spread of Islam in the West is dependant upon immigration or marriage to immigrants. Muslims will segregate themselves based on culture and country of origin, and it becomes very hard to infiltrate those cultural groups; similarly, they inject their own cultural norms into the practice of Islam, so that any cultural misstep becomes a religious misstep.

I wish I could be more optimistic.