There are two important lessons to learn from the saying of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him:
"A believing man (husband) should not hate a believing woman (wife): if he dislikes one character in her; he will like another one." [Muslim]
The first is: it gives guidance in the way to deal with wives, relations, friends, colleagues and anyone with whom you have a relationship or association. It teaches that you have to prepare yourself to accept the fact that any person with whom you have one sort of relationship or another will definitely have imperferctions, bad qualities or some character that you would not like. So if you find that in him, think of what is incumbent upon you, or proper for you to do regarding maintaining the ties of relationship, and preserving the bond of love and affection between you. Bring to mind his good qualities, and the importance the religion attaches to maintaining good social relations. By overlooking bad qualities, and bringing to mind the good ones, bonds of relationship and good companionship are maintained, and this is another source of harmony.
The second lesson is that it teaches us how to ward off grief and worry, and bring about an honest and sincere relationship in which each party fulfils his obligations and dues to the other, and harmony is maintained between them. The one who does not work with this teaching of the Prophet, peach and blessing of Allah be on him, and does the opposite, whereby he busies himself with noticing the bad qualities and ignoring the good ones, there is no doubt that he will be overtaken by worries and anxieties, and there is no doubt also that the bond of love that is between him and those he loves will be cut, and many of the rights and obligations of both parties will be flouted.
Many people with high aspirations and inner energy are able to prepare themselves to deal with heavy calamities and adversities with patience and tranquility, but when they are faced with small and trivial issues, they become worried and anxious, and their hearts lose their clarity of thought and become turbid. The reason behind this is that they were able to prepare themselves to deal with major situations, and they ignored the minor ones, as a result of which the things they regarded as insignificant took them off guard and unsettled their peace. The real strong person prepares himself to deal with both great and insignificant issues, and asks the help of Allah in that, and that Allah does not leave him to himself even for the blink of an eye. When he does that, the small issues become easy for him to handle just as the big ones, and he maintains his composure, happiness and tranquility.
Smh.
