Destiny_Jannah
Junior Member
AsSalamu Aleykom everyone
I been having hard time since I went back to uni this year. My first semester was busy and hard. Taking full load courses, working at the same time and having external pressures are not easy task.
I met a brother last summer, thinking it's all good. After all what's wrong...as long as the brother it's a parcticing Muslim. Not so, I was completely wrong, born and bred in the west and having different outlook in life can cause tremendous problems between me and my family.
After talking to the brother for a week, I invited him to meet my family, not knowing what to expect and how they will react since the brother belongs to different ethnicity and a revert.
I first told my mum thinking she will be able to convince my dad and the rest of the family. Not so, my mum's answered was, Never will I marry a revert Muslim, whose parents are not Muslims and Never will a marry outside our ethnicity. She said whom I'm suppose to marry was already decided by my uncle (my mother's brother). This was shocking to me, there is more important things to worry about than ethnicity and culture. We have to worry how to improve our deen and practice rather than one's affliation to his ethnicity. And according to Islam , they can't decide whom I should marry without my consent.
My mum got angry and started cursing me a lot. I can take a slap not a cursing, I'm scare of cursing. I always think parents' cursing come true no matter whose is right or wrong. My mum got worst, and she uses old way of dealing with people, like hitting, and slapping (although raising hands is considered cultural things according to my parents' tradtion)
I talked to my dad and he thinks I'm out of my mind, because I wanna marry a brother who belong to different ethnicity and revert.
I talked to my uncles (from my dad's side) and the only answered I got was; try to convince my parents and they can't do anything about it. I'm exhausted all means of convincing my parents
. I think my parents are lucky and Allah blessed with them wonderful children. But sometimes I think, they turn blind eye of that blessings.
I do practice my deen, I did memorized the Qur'an at the age of 9, I go university and work at the same time. What more could they ask...All I wanna do is what Allah permitted and leave what Allah forbade.
No one will try to got to know the brother. To me he is really good practicing Muslim brother, who has a lot of Subr and will go into a great lenght to help anyone who is in need.
At this point I don't know what to do, The brother is trying really hard to meet anyone in my family. I'm not allow to talk to him, I'm not allow to go out the rest of my break before I go back to uni for the 2nd semester.
Why culture is so important than DEEN? I'm trying to live upto their expectations and I'm having a lot of Subr, but in return I get a lot of cursing and labelled as someone who wants to bring shame and dishonor to the family.
The brother is not giving up, and I can't let him go either. it's very hard situation to be in. May Allah guides us all and makes easy things.
It's hard
what Should I do? the family will not let me go either....
anyone out there who have suggestions can comment....I really appreciated
I been having hard time since I went back to uni this year. My first semester was busy and hard. Taking full load courses, working at the same time and having external pressures are not easy task.
I met a brother last summer, thinking it's all good. After all what's wrong...as long as the brother it's a parcticing Muslim. Not so, I was completely wrong, born and bred in the west and having different outlook in life can cause tremendous problems between me and my family.
After talking to the brother for a week, I invited him to meet my family, not knowing what to expect and how they will react since the brother belongs to different ethnicity and a revert.
I first told my mum thinking she will be able to convince my dad and the rest of the family. Not so, my mum's answered was, Never will I marry a revert Muslim, whose parents are not Muslims and Never will a marry outside our ethnicity. She said whom I'm suppose to marry was already decided by my uncle (my mother's brother). This was shocking to me, there is more important things to worry about than ethnicity and culture. We have to worry how to improve our deen and practice rather than one's affliation to his ethnicity. And according to Islam , they can't decide whom I should marry without my consent.
My mum got angry and started cursing me a lot. I can take a slap not a cursing, I'm scare of cursing. I always think parents' cursing come true no matter whose is right or wrong. My mum got worst, and she uses old way of dealing with people, like hitting, and slapping (although raising hands is considered cultural things according to my parents' tradtion)
I talked to my dad and he thinks I'm out of my mind, because I wanna marry a brother who belong to different ethnicity and revert.
I talked to my uncles (from my dad's side) and the only answered I got was; try to convince my parents and they can't do anything about it. I'm exhausted all means of convincing my parents
. I think my parents are lucky and Allah blessed with them wonderful children. But sometimes I think, they turn blind eye of that blessings.I do practice my deen, I did memorized the Qur'an at the age of 9, I go university and work at the same time. What more could they ask...All I wanna do is what Allah permitted and leave what Allah forbade.
No one will try to got to know the brother. To me he is really good practicing Muslim brother, who has a lot of Subr and will go into a great lenght to help anyone who is in need.
At this point I don't know what to do, The brother is trying really hard to meet anyone in my family. I'm not allow to talk to him, I'm not allow to go out the rest of my break before I go back to uni for the 2nd semester.
Why culture is so important than DEEN? I'm trying to live upto their expectations and I'm having a lot of Subr, but in return I get a lot of cursing and labelled as someone who wants to bring shame and dishonor to the family.
The brother is not giving up, and I can't let him go either
. it's very hard situation to be in. May Allah guides us all and makes easy things.It's hard
what Should I do? the family will not let me go either....
anyone out there who have suggestions can comment....I really appreciated
