before getting married ,,,,,,,,,,,,

[saima abdullah]

before getting married
:salam2:
may Allah keep us all in emaan and afeefeh
i just wana ask a question what should one do to make his or her wedding more Islamic, how to avoid un Islamic cultural activities while not offending anyone in family. in our part of world its consider to be odd if a girl speaks something regarding her marriage. rather its considered to be against the standards of HIYA. but i believe deen is not something uncompromisable so m looking forward for some practical tips... someone close to me gona get married soon

 

[al-fajr]

Sister, are you a member of the Sisters Only Area?

If not I think it would be nice if you joined and this thread was moved over there inshaAllaah.

Wa-alaykum salaam.

 

[saima abdullah]

i don't think sister it is relevant to sister's only ares its all about how to make the ceremony more Islamic .....
how to avoid male n female mix gathering in banquette... things relevant to dawery etc.......... i think i didn't put my question rightly

 

[q8penpals]

Salam

I think it is completely appropriate to put in public, because hopefully, the young men out there will be able to give their input as well, as they may have sisters, aunts, daughters, getting married and they should be able to assist.

 

[al-fajr]

Salam

I think it is completely appropriate to put in public, because hopefully, the young men out there will be able to give their input as well, as they may have sisters, aunts, daughters, getting married and they should be able to assist.

Based on previous experiences of marriage related threads on Turntoislam.com, I stand by my suggestion.

 

[xSharingan01x]

Based on previous experiences of marriage related threads on Turntoislam.com, I stand by my suggestion.

:salam2:


You're going to deprive us (the brothers) of some potential beneficial knowledge for the future. It's not everyday we get to see sisters insight about marriage so...


Sister Saima, I would suggest that you tell your firend to speak to her guardians/relatives who are in charge of organizing the marriage ceremony from her side. They in return can talk to their counterparts from the husband's side. If the sister whom you're referring to is shy, then she can maybe relate to her guardians through a third person.


Having segragated dining hall and sitting hall for men/women will take care of bulk of the problem concerning intermingling.

 

[al-fajr]

:salam2:


You're going to deprive us (the brothers) of some potential beneficial knowledge for the future. It's not everyday we get to see sisters insight about marriage so...

Surely people from the Sub Continent know how to conduct marriage ceremonies already? or more precisely how not to? Somethings are just known by their opposites.

but i believe deen is not something uncompromisable so m looking forward for some practical tips...

Sister, what did you mean by that? I would be more inclined to say that the deen is something not to be compromised? Is that what you meant?

 

[ahmed_indian]

i just wana ask a question what should one do to make his or her wedding more Islamic, how to avoid un Islamic cultural activities while not offending anyone in family. in our part of world its consider to be odd if a girl speaks something regarding her marriage. rather its considered to be against the standards of HIYA. but i believe deen is not something uncompromisable so m looking forward for some practical tips... someone close to me gona get married soon

we have gone to extreme positions. on one hand some ppl dont care if their women go on dates and on other hand ppl dont even let women speak about their marriage.u can show women's rights frm Quran and sunnah.

about Islamic marriage, its about halal food (without wastage), halal music (something like duff), segregation (proper clothing).

if u'll organise Islamic marriage, ppl may will feel bored as they are used to cultural marriage ceremonies. but so what? tell them that marriage is a blessed gift frm Allah, how can one start it frm all un-Islamic things?

PS: what about writing in Invitation Cards that women found with shoulders uncovered, ppl backbiting will be prosecuted? jsut joking!

 

[Pharma_Sister]

LOL!!! (sorry I'm not sure as to how one puts the above quotes in - but Brother ahmed_indian's last sentence is funny!).

Subhaanallah, I totally understand where you are coming from ukhti. There is a real problem with the ‘marriage event’ nowadays. But I have to agree with xsharingan01x – having a segregated dining hall would help greatly with the non-mixing of the sexes. The only other problems left are the music, filming/photo’s and inappropriate clothes that some wear (may Allah guide them).

I am having a similar problem at the moment, previously I’ve attended weddings which were non-segregated, had music, filming, etc. but have put my foot down recently and said I will not attend any more if there is going to be free mixing, music and filming going on. Unfortunately this has not gone down well with my elders and they are, well, annoyed with me now.

The way I see it now (and Alhamdulillah I am so pleased with my conclusion), one needs to ask themselves: Whom do you want to please? Your Creator or his creation?

Wish you all the best my sister in finding a resolution.

 

[ProudToBeaMuslim]

I once went to a veryyyyyy nice and Islamic wedding (Masha Allah) Were the bride's father gave a talk just before the Nikkah, on how the Prophet married (without extravagance, pomp etc) He also reminded those present that a person attending the wedding should pray for the couple (which is actually the whole point). You can do that, invite good speakers from your mosque or family to give such a talk before the ceremony, so that even the guests can mentally accept the fact that what you are doing is right (since the speakers'll be quoting from The Hadith and Qur'an). You can just ask a good speaker in your family, so that solves the "against the HIYA" part. Hope it helps