Converts: Feelings of guilt?

[JD19]

Im a new Muslim and today I was at a Quran learning class and after the course, it kind of hit me that im Muslim. None of my friends or family knows im Muslim and after the class - which was hard since I dont speak Arabic - I kind of have been thinking "what have I gotten myself into!?"... I mean - my family doesnt know and I hate hiding it, which then I feel more guilty. I think about the future and how will I teach my kids if I dont even know it all... how will my kids interact with my family since they dont know....

is this normal for a convert to go thru?

 

[mohsofi_abdullah]

It is even normal for a born muslim, JD...
It's good that you feel concerned, because that only shows how much you care about education and about being accountable for your own future...
Salam

 

[nyerekareem]

Im a new Muslim and today I was at a Quran learning class and after the course, it kind of hit me that im Muslim. No one knows and after the class - which was hard since I dont speak Arabic - I kind of have been thinking "what have I gotten myself into!?"... I mean - my family doesnt know and I hate hiding it, which then I feel more guilty. I think about the future and how will I teach my kids if I dont even know it all... how will my kids interact with my family since they dont know....

is this normal for a convert to go thru?

it happens sometimes. but you are in a quran class right? you are in the right place to learn this deen. there really isn't one way to break the news to your family. i guess you have to wait for the right opportunity. eventually you are gonna have to tell them. do you know why? it's because living secretly as a muslim is very difficult when living with non-muslims, because very often they make practicing your faith very difficult. they may still eat bacon and offer you some. but if they knew you were muslim they wouldn't do that. while you're praying in secret, someone in the house is calling you downstairs/upstairs or someting, which causes you to stop or hurry up and try to hide your rug or get up from the floor. you can't keep living your life that way. you know islam is al-haqq i.e. the truth, you can't let anyone get in your way and keep you from practising it.

 

[Faruq]

Brother, I'm gonna feel bad if I have to disobey my mom's order to not convert and say Shahadah, because "I'm not responsible, out on my own" yet. It's upsetting to think I will have to disobey the one who gave birth to me. But it'd be much more upsetting to disobey the one who gave life to me. Al-hamdulillah.

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam brother,

I sometimes experience moments of sadness and even guilt. I feel guilty because my decision to convert caused my family to feel pain...and I wish there was a way to take it from them.

I converted from Judaism to Islam and the price for that was my family...as they have disowned me. Last year during Hannukah, Rosh Hoshannah and Yom Kippur I felt some of the loneliest times of my life. Not because I wanted to return to Judaism but because I missed being able to spend that time with my family. I tried expressing my sadness to other Muslims but they were like, "What do you mean you're lonely? You have millions of new brothers and sisters!" They just couldn't relate.

Converts find themselves in the difficult position of trying to strenghten their imaan and be respectful towards their family. Living a secret is difficult but sometimes necesary and I pray that Allah makes this easier for you.

I too wonder how my children will interact with my family....or if they will even be acknowledged by my family. Inshallah my children will become a bridge between our families. May Allah strengthen you and protect you, brother. Wasalaam.

~Sarah

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

ASAK bro and Sis,
i completely understand what you people are goin thru. let alone leaving religion, i just came to a new place away from my family and it was so difficult for me..... even now although its been a while i just wanna get back to my family. but i always take it as something which ALLAH SWT has decreed on me and its a test that i need to pass.

No matter where you are you can always ask ALLAH SWT to end this kind of drought in your life. Inshallah ALLAH SWT will always answer his slave's supplication. Also there is a hadith in which Jibreel A.S. says that the reward for every deed can be measured but the reward for patience cannot be measured. So inshallah you will be rewarded beyond your expectations for your patience in this life as well as in the hereafter.so brothers and sisters its a tough phase for everyone but by ALLAH SWT mercy inshallah we will pass this test and ALLAH SWT says that everyone has to go through tests and tribulations in this life and stronger the IMAN greater the test so have patience Inshallah Allah SWT will provide you with what is best for you in this world and in the hereafter.

 

[revertmuslimah]

asalaamu alaikum

To all the brothers and sisters on this post,
Being a revert is a whole different test to being born muslim. I personally feel very very bad about how much I upset my parents becase of my reversion, my mother was in floods of tears, she is not a woman who cries. I'm scared to tell my uncles, aunties, cousins, family back in HK that im muslim now. That will be another test. I worry that im not a good muslim, that I will not have a chance to redeem my sins before the day of judgement. I worry that I have isolated myself and other things too. I cant eat a lot of chinese food anymore etc.... But im so happy that i have love and fear of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) my life is complete and im satisfied on so many levels so those doubts and tests are nothing compared to the happiness in my life now.

im pretty sure this ramble is off point entirely, well today i teach year 7 Desmond Tutu and year 9 Women in Islam topic yay . hehe better go

wa salaam

May Allah have mercy on us all and keep us on the staright path

 

[junaid hasan]

not only convert muslims are facing such problems as a practising muslim i have also such problems in my family.
in the school its really hard to stay with my classmates.

my brothers friend are all same.
except my parents i have no more any family.

some people think to bea practising muslim is to be a extrimist and if i dont pray its mean i am a normal muslim.

 

[UmmOf3]

Salaam aleikum

Awww my heart really goes out to you sisters and brothers who face these struggles with your families. I must admit, that Alhamdulillah, I never had issues with my family due to being a muslim... So I never had to hide it. But then again, I came to islam waay before 911, when Islam was not something dangerous...

 

[alkathiri]

Im a new Muslim and today I was at a Quran learning class and after the course, it kind of hit me that im Muslim. None of my friends or family knows im Muslim and after the class - which was hard since I dont speak Arabic - I kind of have been thinking "what have I gotten myself into!?"... I mean - my family doesnt know and I hate hiding it, which then I feel more guilty. I think about the future and how will I teach my kids if I dont even know it all... how will my kids interact with my family since they dont know....

is this normal for a convert to go thru?

Yes akhi, u worry abt the fiture but u do not want to take things in a rush...
Learn as much as u can .....
Dont worry too much akhi..