Curious Question

[A_Happy_Convert]

The only thing I would say is that when your heart starts to connect with Allah (the Almighty) (the Qur'aan) then your need and longing for music will decrease. It might seem unrealistic now but slowly you will notice it.

(Slowly as your faith and firmness in it increase then the things you depended might seem trivial/won't need them).

Assalmo alaikum,

This is SOOOO true! I am also an American girl and a short while ago I was OBSESSED with music. All day, every day, headphones on, in my own world. Certain songs or melodies can instantly transport you back in time and help you remember certain times, people, places or whatever. It also can be a comfort when going through tough times or sadness.

Well guess what, sister? None of it is even CLOSE to how amazing the Quran is! I've been living in Morocco now for 7 months and when I first got here everyone kept telling me to stop listening to music. I thought, "Yeah right! I can never give it up. It's such a huge part of my life." I play the saxophone, too so I know how you feel about having an instrument.

Slowly but surely, I'm losing my desire to listen to music. When I think about the lyrics, subject matter, or things I was doing when I would listen to certain songs, it makes me want to give it up! Who cares about some sappy love song where someone's whining and crying over their lost love? I'd much rather be memorizing surahs than song lyrics. I mean...how many songs can you sing every word to? Imagine if you could recite every word of the Quran instead!

Inshallah, you will gradually see it fade away from your life. Don't look at it like you're missing out--say "Alhomdolillah that He is changing my life!"

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

I am beginning to find that Islam is very important.

and I'm begining to think you are like me *smiles*

Hey sister! I'm not sure which one of us should welcome the other first. Me being an old member back after a "very" long a time, or you whose been here only recently=).

I just quoted your post to say you developed the same feelings as us. Just stay calm and focused, Inshaa'Allah (Allah's willing) you'll get the kinda "peace" you are searching for.

Your love for music will leave the moment you love for Quraan begins. when you are depressed, nothing will work on you like the Quraan's soothing message does. This is experience talking here! Just look at the deen, explore it. If it fits you (I'm sure it will) Adopt it. Leave everything else and trust Allah. As Allah says to His slaves:

"And whosoever is conscious of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has sent a measure for all things." (Quran: 65/2-3)

 

[mehitora]

Thank you, both of you, for taking the time to respond to me. It was a very kind thing to do.

I am finding that my need for music is lessening every day. I still find, though, that I cannot not fall alseep in silence. I have to have some sort of noise to fall asleep and stay asleep. Ever since I was young I have always had something playing as I slept whether it was music or a movie or even an audio book. Actually I quite enjoy falling asleep to the sound of a good audio book.

I do have a question though about Ramadan. I have read and read and looked and looked and still haven't found an answer for this. When fasting for Ramadan one is not suppose to partake of food, drink, or sexual relations, I know, but I an't find out if that means drinking nothing at all for the either day. Every other religion that has a fast period I know allows for the faster to drink water during the day because water is vital for survial. Is drinking water during the day during Ramadan allowed or not?

Also, I am not sure how to ask about this, but I will try. My mom has a bunch of health issues. Everything from being allergic to almost everything (including herself which is very weird) to insomnia to RLS. Currently she is facing an issue that has her screaming and crying in pain almost constantly. She has a bad tooth. The tooth was capped when she was 8 years old and she still has the cap over 40 years later with rod going through the tooth. The tooth is very infected and rotting away, but all the dentists refuse to pull it. They want to restore it even though there is very little of her tooth left to restore....and my parents do not have the money to have the procedure done. All I am asking for is prayers for the pain to end. It kills me every time she grabs at her mouth in pain, every time a tear slides down her face. I don't know of anything I can do to help her except pray and I have always been told that Allah hears the prayers of many. I am not sure how common it is for one to ask others for prayer for a loved one. I am not even sure how allowed it is, but I would like to ask any who wish to. It would mean a lot to me. I really hate to see my mom hurt this way. Thank you.

 

[kashif_nazeer]

Thank you, both of you, for taking the time to respond to me. It was a very kind thing to do.

I am finding that my need for music is lessening every day. I still find, though, that I cannot not fall alseep in silence. I have to have some sort of noise to fall asleep and stay asleep. Ever since I was young I have always had something playing as I slept whether it was music or a movie or even an audio book. Actually I quite enjoy falling asleep to the sound of a good audio book.

I do have a question though about Ramadan. I have read and read and looked and looked and still haven't found an answer for this. When fasting for Ramadan one is not suppose to partake of food, drink, or sexual relations, I know, but I an't find out if that means drinking nothing at all for the either day. Every other religion that has a fast period I know allows for the faster to drink water during the day because water is vital for survial. Is drinking water during the day during Ramadan allowed or not?

Also, I am not sure how to ask about this, but I will try. My mom has a bunch of health issues. Everything from being allergic to almost everything (including herself which is very weird) to insomnia to RLS. Currently she is facing an issue that has her screaming and crying in pain almost constantly. She has a bad tooth. The tooth was capped when she was 8 years old and she still has the cap over 40 years later with rod going through the tooth. The tooth is very infected and rotting away, but all the dentists refuse to pull it. They want to restore it even though there is very little of her tooth left to restore....and my parents do not have the money to have the procedure done. All I am asking for is prayers for the pain to end. It kills me every time she grabs at her mouth in pain, every time a tear slides down her face. I don't know of anything I can do to help her except pray and I have always been told that Allah hears the prayers of many. I am not sure how common it is for one to ask others for prayer for a loved one. I am not even sure how allowed it is, but I would like to ask any who wish to. It would mean a lot to me. I really hate to see my mom hurt this way. Thank you.

:salam2:
Sister,during the fast of Ramadan or any other fast for that matter as muslims,we abstain from food and intercourse and drink(which includes water) during day from fajr to maghrib,i.e from dawn to dusk.We can drink water after breaking fast,but during the daytime i.e when one is in the condition of fasting,we abstain from eating or drinking anything at all.
We can drink water after breaking fast.
About music,yeah well it's difficult to break some habits,but we can change them into something.Like for exapmle if you cant go to sleep without listening to anything,try replacing it by going to sleep listening to Qur'an recitation.

May Allah grant shifa to your mother and relieve her of her pain.Ameen
May Allah grant peace to you and your family.Ameen
May Allah guide us all.Ameen.

 

[Tabassum07]

Don't worry, we'll pray for your mother. May Allah lessen her pain and make it easy for her. Ameen.

During Ramadan fasts, muslims don't eat or drink anything, not even a single drop of water. But don't worry, we drink plenty of water before sunrise, and continue drinking after sunrise, so we make up for the missed hours when we didn't have water, and it doesn't affect our bodies in any adverse way.

 

[mehitora]

Thank you, kashif and Tabassum, for replying. I am glad I have people like you who answer my questions so well. I still do not quite understand not drinking water, but that's ok. I am sure one day it willmake sense. I, though, get really bad dry mouth if I go several hours without something to drink. Is there any way to relieve dry mouth that does not hinder the fast?

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Thank you, kashif and Tabassum, for replying. I am glad I have people like you who answer my questions so well. I still do not quite understand not drinking water, but that's ok. I am sure one day it willmake sense. I, though, get really bad dry mouth if I go several hours without something to drink. Is there any way to relieve dry mouth that does not hinder the fast?

I understand where you are coming from, but if water was allowed. One would fill his stomach with water every time he felt hunger pangs. Islam is a religion is practice as well as theory, requiring both and incomplete if any of them is neglected. Where the theory is usually related to the spirit and Allah. Practice is related to the body and the world around us.

Muslims fast to show obedience to Allah. suppressing the human desires to eat, drink, gossip etc for reason no other than to seek his pleasure. At the same time it is to understand and feel depression and pain the less fortunate and poor people go through. When one stays hungry and thirsty throughout the day, he fully appreciates what it must be like to live in areas like Somlia or be poor and to starve.

This training is for two things:

1) to feed the hungry

2)To be grateful to Allah.


It's may sound almost impossible to do, but it ain't! Last year some people in certain parts of the world had to fast for 18 hours and they did it. We here had about 16.5 or 17 hrs fast. It's going to be the same this year and it's kinda hot! But Alhumdulillah, It's ramadhan coming!!

 

[lerizi]

We can live three days without water, 17 hours wont hurt us much compared to the hundreds of thousands of children dying of thirst and hunger around the world. The idea of fasting is to humble ourselves.

To help us understand how the less fortunate feel. It used to be a practical solution during the time of our prophet when he (peace be upon him) broke his fast with nothing more than a date and so did his fellow companions. They toiled in the Arabian heat with a rock tied to their stomach during the battle of the trench. The

Fasting is to remind us of the less fortunate people and we fast to please Allah, follow the Prophet's Sunnah (teaching) and to know how the less fortunate (thousands if not millions of people dying of thirst and hunger) feel.

This is my opinion and only Allah knows all.

 

[lerizi]

I say practical then cause people actually wanted to feel how the poor felt, Durig the time of The Prophet (Peace be upon him). These days, people fill their stomachs till they can fill it no more before Fajr (dawn) and eat like there is no tomorrow after Iftar (dusk). You will often hear muslims say that they actually put on weight in Ramadan.

 

[mehitora]

Thank you, Seeking, lerizi. You have helped me understand so much better.

I keep thinking up questions, but they always end up being so sporatic. Lol, that would be my ADHD at work!

Ok, first new question. I do know that a Muslim woman can not marry a non-Muslim man, but what about a woman who is already married to a non-Muslim man before she reverts to Islam? What happens to her marriage? It seems unfair if it has to end or something like that when she loves the man she is married to just because he is not Muslim.

My next question I am asking here because I have not been granted access to the Sisters Club yet. What does a woman do if she wishes to wear hijab, but does not own one and can't get one? What makes an appropriate hijab?

 

[Isra]

I do know that a Muslim woman can not marry a non-Muslim man, but what about a woman who is already married to a non-Muslim man before she reverts to Islam? What happens to her marriage? It seems unfair if it has to end or something like that when she loves the man she is married to just because he is not Muslim.

My next question I am asking here because I have not been granted access to the Sisters Club yet. What does a woman do if she wishes to wear hijab, but does not own one and can't get one? What makes an appropriate hijab?

To answer your first question: The moment a woman becomes a Muslim her marriage to a non Muslim is no longer valid. Muslim women can only marry Muslim men. There are only 2 options in that case.......Number 1. The non Muslim husband can become a Muslim or Number 2. The Muslim woman must divorce her husband legally. According to Islam she is no longer married to him anyway and if she were to continue husband/wife relations with him it would be considered zina on her part.

As to your second question: Any scarf that is long enough to wrap around your head and cover your neck and chest area makes an acceptable hijab. When I lived in the USA I went to Walmart and bought a scarf that became my first hijab.

You could also check online as there are many really good Islamic clothing stores on the internet that will deliver to the USA.

Hope this answers your questions!

Wa salam

 

[mehitora]

Thank you, Isra. That was most helpful. It is still saddening that a happy loving marriage would have to be broken up like that, but I understand. Although I don't quite understand why a Muslim woman must only marry a Muslim man when a Muslim man can marry a Christian, Jewish, or Muslim woman. That does not quite make sense.

I have a scarf like that. It is black and quite heavy though. It is a winter scarf my mother gave to me that I cherish. It does easily get holes in it. I have already tired using it as a hijab to test it, but the pins always get stuck and I am afraid of tearing it. I have another head scarf (a beautiful read color) given to me by my sister (another cherished belonging), but it is much too sheer.

 

[Isra]

Thank you, Isra. That was most helpful. It is still saddening that a happy loving marriage would have to be broken up like that, but I understand. Although I don't quite understand why a Muslim woman must only marry a Muslim man when a Muslim man can marry a Christian, Jewish, or Muslim woman. That does not quite make sense.

I have a scarf like that. It is black and quite heavy though. It is a winter scarf my mother gave to me that I cherish. It does easily get holes in it. I have already tired using it as a hijab to test it, but the pins always get stuck and I am afraid of tearing it. I have another head scarf (a beautiful read color) given to me by my sister (another cherished belonging), but it is much too sheer.

The reasoning behind a Muslim woman marrying ONLY a Muslim man is quite simple actually. Islam teaches that the man is the head of the household and in that respect it is up to him to guide the family and especially the children. Islam is just insuring that the children will be brought up as Muslims.

If a Muslim woman were allowed to be married to a Christian or a Jewish man the chances that the children will be raised Muslim according to their mothers faith goes down quite significantly. More likely the children would be raised according to the fathers religion.

A tip about the sheer scarf: you can maybe put something on your head to cover before putting on the scarf and maybe wear clothing that covers your neck so the scarf's sheerness wouldnt be a problem. The main thing is to cover your head, neck and chest. Whatever you use is fine as long as all of those areas are not able to be seen by others.

wa salam

 

[mehitora]

I guess I am correct in assuming that even if the woman raised the children acording to her faith, the marriage is still not valid. Then that raises the question what if the marriage has already produced children? The family is the man, woman, and the children. Is it right to break up this family because the woman reverts? Is there anything that allows the marriage to be valid if children are involved?

What kind of things would cover the head and allow a sheer scarf to be worn?

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

The woman divorces and leaves that which is haraam. She knows that Allah has promised her He will provide.
She, in the west, takes her children with her. They are in good hands. You would be surprised at the number of women with children are in the US alone.

Yes, it is right to break up the family. The member who is not a Muslim is holding back the family from Allah. There just comes a point where you have to cut the losses. When you are on a journey and its a one way you do not carry the tire that has been slashed with you.

 

[mehitora]

I understand, Aapa. I still do not believe that the man and the children in the situation would not feel resentment towards the situation. If the woman truly loves the man, I believe that even she might feel resentment to start with, but would get over it given enough time. I do know that there are many women in the US that are raising children on their own. They do a very good job of it. Personally, I would feel really heartbroken if my father was forced to leave our family. There was actually many times were that almost happened. I could imagine what children in this situation might feel.

 

[Isra]

I understand, Aapa. I still do not believe that the man and the children in the situation would not feel resentment towards the situation. If the woman truly loves the man, I believe that even she might feel resentment to start with, but would get over it given enough time. I do know that there are many women in the US that are raising children on their own. They do a very good job of it. Personally, I would feel really heartbroken if my father was forced to leave our family. There was actually many times were that almost happened. I could imagine what children in this situation might feel.

In life sometimes we have to make hard choices and decisions that we are not completely comfortable with in the beginning but remember this: If you are doing something for the sake of Allah in order to please him and for NO OTHER REASON the reward our Rabb will give you is beyond your wildest dreams.

Sometimes when you are in a bad situation you are so deeply involved in it that you are not even able to see for yourself that it is bad for you but Allah sees EVERYTHING at all times and he knows what is the best for you even if you dont.

Quran says "you may hate a thing although it is good for you, and love a thing although it is bad for you. God knows, but you know not" (2:216). Now in Quran that verse is speaking about fighting for the cause of Islam but it works in any case. Allah knows what is best for you.

So if you gave up your marriage for the sake of Allah and took your children to raise them as Muslim believe me you would be rewarded and Allah would provide for you.

The Messenger of Allah (sws) said: “There is no calamity that befalls one of the Muslims and he responds ‘Inna Lillahi wa inna ilahi raaji’oun, Allahumma ujurni fi museebati w’ukhluf li khayran minha,’ (Truly to Allah we belong & truly to Him we shall return, O Allah reward me in this calamity & compensate me with something better than it), but Allah will compensate him with something better than it.” (Muslim 918)

In other words, if you’ve lost something precious, or if disaster has hit you, and you respond with faith in Allah, asking Him to replace your loss with something better, then Allah will surely respond and give you something better.

What more could we want from our creator? The main thing is to keep your Iman (faith) strong and trust in Allah that he will provide for you and he knows exactly what you need in your life.

You asked about the covering in an earlier post and the answer would be either a nice solid color scarf or if you can find a hijab cap either online and get it shipped to you or maybe there is a store in your area that sell them.

What I am about to say is in no way a racial issue but when I lived in the USA I found a store that catered to African Americans and they tend to have items you could use to cover your head and neck because black people use these items in their perms and other hair stylings. You are from Mississippi so maybe there are stores like that near you or maybe you could ask at one of the salons in your neighborhood. It doesnt have to be called hijab to become hijab if that makes any sense! :wink:

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

You can go to a dollar store, the tendollar store, the marts and the elevens..they all sell them. I call them do-rags.

 

[mehitora]

Thank you, Isra. You have opened my eyes a bit more. I am slowly, but surely getting there. I am understanding Islam more and more every day.

And thank you, Aapa. I will try looking at those places. I know my dad owns do-rags that he wears when bike riding. My mom wraps her hair up in a bandana when on the bike.

Also, I have decided that, while I have no idea what I am doing currently, I am going to try Ramadan. I am going to try to fast and to pray and all as commanded by Allah. I have a couple questions though to help me out.

First, in regards to fasting, what if the fasting person is on long term medication? Like myself, I take a twice daily pill for acid reflux. I get heartburn even when I eat nothing all day. Is it permissable to take a gulp of water with such medication? Should medications not be taken during daytime because of the fasting? On the topic of fasting and medications, what is allowed and what is not advised?

Second, on prayer, how does one go about praying if they do not know how to pray according to how the Prophet prayed? What if they do not know Arabic? What if one uses a guide, but stumbles the entire time? What should a new or prospect revert do?

Once again, I thank everyone for their time and patience with me.

 

[Tabassum07]

Sister, slow down - everything will come in time. As for the prayers and the Arabic, they will take time, and quite a lot of practice. Is there any mosque or Islamic Center near you? The best thing would be to visit the place and have some of the sisters take you under their wing and teach you.

Regards fasting, you can take your morning pill before dawn and the evening pill after sunset. No, its not allowed to even take any medication during fasting, nor even a gulp of water. Most people who are on medicine do it this way and it works. And if someone is really ill and on lots of medications and fasting is not viable for them, they don't have to fast then, and can make up their fasts later when their health has improved.