dating leads to marriage

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

I was addressing Sister Precious Star.

My words are very general. When we are at odds with what we want we need to reevaluate what we are asking for. We need to find the error in our thinking. This is very individualistic as the root is the goals we seek and the way we go about seeking them. In simple words sometimes we know where we are going but we are on the wrong road.

 

[Thauban]

Assalaam alaikum,

I was addressing Sister Precious Star.

My words are very general. When we are at odds with what we want we need to reevaluate what we are asking for. We need to find the error in our thinking. This is very individualistic as the root is the goals we seek and the way we go about seeking them. In simple words sometimes we know where we are going but we are on the wrong road.

Say what? Say that again.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

It is simple. Sometimes in life when you don't get what you want and you have worked hard..you have to go back to square one and start over.

How can that be complicated?

 

[strive-may-i]

...
Is there somethign wrong with this picture????? And why is it eating me up inside????

Sister, The picture? Its a film, sort of, seen from an end. The ending is getting better for some, due to their own efforts. The brothers kids are deeni from their own efforts. Now why should that make anyone feel at loss? It should not, So stop seeing it from this extreme end. This viewpoint is full of injustice to the good you did so far. It could just spoil all these years of goodness... Now its not something you want. you have to just come clean from this chain of thoughts. You have set a benchmark, endured it all, despite the troubles and shortcomings. Be the benchmark you are. Almighty and even your niece/nephew/family will love you all the more, Insha Allah. Show patience, dont throw it away.

I know few men/women, who missed the marriage train during young age for reasons a many, but were admired and rewarded for the way they endured it. They got married at older age. Almighty Allah will surely assist you, in your affairs, be patient and take the next step.

Every person has a greater say in their personal matters, you have earned yours. The future course for you, Aapa has conveyed it best.

May Almighty guide you to something better, that gives you contentment in here and rewards you in hereafter.... Ameen

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam alaikum,

The big picture for me ain't pretty right now. But, that does not mean I have given up. It just makes me think harder and work a little harder.

I am not going to deny myself life and the wonderful possibilities of life cause I don't have a man. It is hard. I do not wish my sisters to have to endure what I do and what many of my silent sisters go through.

I am so glad that you ( Sister Precious Star ) have opened this subject. Even if it gets one brother to help his sister out it is a good thing.

We are the precious pearls of our faith. We are the gentle creatures that need softness in our lives to thrive. Well, if I were a flower at this stage of the game I am a dandelion. Walk on me, spit on me, use all the chemicals known to mankind but that ain't gonna stop me..my roots get stronger and my stems get thicker. Sure,you won't use me in a bouquet but you need me for a side dish, tea, medicine and wine..I know my worth, so let me find a lollipop to lick as I chase rainbows in the sunshine.

Allah decreed this life for me. And I am going to enjoy every blessed second, InshaAllah.

 

[Precious Star]

Sister, The picture? Its a film, sort of, seen from an end. The ending is getting better for some, due to their own efforts. The brothers kids are deeni from their own efforts. Now why should that make anyone feel at loss? It should not, So stop seeing it from this extreme end. This viewpoint is full of injustice to the good you did so far. It could just spoil all these years of goodness... Now its not something you want. you have to just come clean from this chain of thoughts. You have set a benchmark, endured it all, despite the troubles and shortcomings. Be the benchmark you are. Almighty and even your niece/nephew/family will love you all the more, Insha Allah. Show patience, dont throw it away.

I know few men/women, who missed the marriage train during young age for reasons a many, but were admired and rewarded for the way they endured it. They got married at older age. Almighty Allah will surely assist you, in your affairs, be patient and take the next step.

Every person has a greater say in their personal matters, you have earned yours. The future course for you, Aapa has conveyed it best.

May Almighty guide you to something better, that gives you contentment in here and rewards you in hereafter.... Ameen

My family, nieces, nephews will not love me more because I am "enduring" singledom in my 40s. They do not care and often make fun of me. Just the other day my nieces were chatting, and one of them would like to get married soon, she said "oh aunty, everyone knows (my grandparents) always kept you locked up and never let you go out anywhere!". I felt lik telling her that the ONLY reason for her existence on this planet is her parents' dating relationship and premarital cohabitation which led to marriage. But i did not say that.

I understand that the silver lining in all this is paradise. But God gave us life on earth too. And "starting over" is ambiguous....instead, women like me have to maintain the status quo, we have to just keep living our lives as is. I seriously doubt ther is anyone on this forum who has spent 20 years of their adult life completely alone, trying to be self-sufficient and knowing that no one really cares about them. I am sorry but that is NOT how Allah intended for us to live. Instead, it is a direct consequence of my parents desire to move to th west, and then not create any marriage opportunities for their Muslim daughter. And that is why I can't understand my brothers situation....I mean, he did everything he was NOT supposed to do, and he has a companion and 2 children who will always take care of him when he is old. And he is already 55. I'm only 41 but I don't see that ever happening to me. The other day my brothers wife was in emergency and we went to see her. My brother was sitting by her bed stroking her hair, then my neice (his daughter) arrived with some fresh clothes for her mother. I was watching all this, then later I asked my own mom "So who is going to sit by my side when I am 5o nd need to go to the hospital? Just take a taxi and lie there alone in my hospital bed, then take a taxi home alone when it's all over?". She did not know what to say, thn said "I will take care of you" ... I just laughed, because my mom is an old lady and usually she is sick herself and can barely walk. But my sister in law converted to Islam upon marriage but doesn't really practice, she just wanted to marry my brother really badly. And look at the benefits she is reaping now.

Anyway, I appreciate that I have to just grin and bear it and wait for death to get my reward. When one of you reach your 40s and you are still alone and trying to b self-sufficient, I think you will know how I feel. It is a hard, hard world for a woman alone. Travelling - carry your own suitcase. Sick-- find a way to get to the pharmacy yourself to buy medicine. Running out of money -- well, either get a 2nd job or really cut back on your expenses. If someone is cruel, unkind or hurtful -- all you can do is bear it since there is no one who will stand up for you or make you feel better. I think that is probably the worst. When you get hurt and there is no one who will put their arm around you and comfort you.

I'm ranting right now because I just spent 3 days travelling for my job and I was really lonely in that other city, and all the taxis and carrying my suitcase when my back was killing me, and people looking at me like I'm a freak because they are married and I'm not, and the shower in the hotel didn't work but I did not want a maintenance person coming into my room to fix it, and no one in my family called or emailed me to see how I was doing......I'm just frustrated right now. I just got home and I am feeling really lonely and tired and wish I could just crawl into my bed and forget about everything and then wake up in the afterlife.

 

[MuslimShadow]

My family, nieces, nephews will not love me more because I am "enduring" singledom in my 40s. They do not care and often make fun of me. Just the other day my nieces were chatting, and one of them would like to get married soon, she said "oh aunty, everyone knows (my grandparents) always kept you locked up and never let you go out anywhere!". I felt lik telling her that the ONLY reason for her existence on this planet is her parents' dating relationship and premarital cohabitation which led to marriage. But i did not say that.

I understand that the silver lining in all this is paradise. But God gave us life on earth too. And "starting over" is ambiguous....instead, women like me have to maintain the status quo, we have to just keep living our lives as is. I seriously doubt ther is anyone on this forum who has spent 20 years of their adult life completely alone, trying to be self-sufficient and knowing that no one really cares about them. I am sorry but that is NOT how Allah intended for us to live. Instead, it is a direct consequence of my parents desire to move to th west, and then not create any marriage opportunities for their Muslim daughter. And that is why I can't understand my brothers situation....I mean, he did everything he was NOT supposed to do, and he has a companion and 2 children who will always take care of him when he is old. And he is already 55. I'm only 41 but I don't see that ever happening to me. The other day my brothers wife was in emergency and we went to see her. My brother was sitting by her bed stroking her hair, then my neice (his daughter) arrived with some fresh clothes for her mother. I was watching all this, then later I asked my own mom "So who is going to sit by my side when I am 5o nd need to go to the hospital? Just take a taxi and lie there alone in my hospital bed, then take a taxi home alone when it's all over?". She did not know what to say, thn said "I will take care of you" ... I just laughed, because my mom is an old lady and usually she is sick herself and can barely walk. But my sister in law converted to Islam upon marriage but doesn't really practice, she just wanted to marry my brother really badly. And look at the benefits she is reaping now.

Anyway, I appreciate that I have to just grin and bear it and wait for death to get my reward. When one of you reach your 40s and you are still alone and trying to b self-sufficient, I think you will know how I feel. It is a hard, hard world for a woman alone. Travelling - carry your own suitcase. Sick-- find a way to get to the pharmacy yourself to buy medicine. Running out of money -- well, either get a 2nd job or really cut back on your expenses. If someone is cruel, unkind or hurtful -- all you can do is bear it since there is no one who will stand up for you or make you feel better. I think that is probably the worst. When you get hurt and there is no one who will put their arm around you and comfort you.

I'm ranting right now because I just spent 3 days travelling for my job and I was really lonely in that other city, and all the taxis and carrying my suitcase when my back was killing me, and people looking at me like I'm a freak because they are married and I'm not, and the shower in the hotel didn't work but I did not want a maintenance person coming into my room to fix it, and no one in my family called or emailed me to see how I was doing......I'm just frustrated right now. I just got home and I am feeling really lonely and tired and wish I could just crawl into my bed and forget about everything and then wake up in the afterlife.

Assalamo alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Dear sister,

May ALLAH make your path smooth and easy.

Have you ever tried to figure out why your parents behave like this.? Why are they rude to you.?Why don't they care about you? Go ahead and ask them directly.

P.S: I'm not assuming that you are wrong?No way.Your parents have wronged you.They need to realize that.

 

[Vandrobr]

I broke up with a girl and now I want to start talking to new girls, I would like some advice on how best to meet girls?

 

[Shimpa]

I felt your pain through the screen, because I understand how you feel. When you put your whole soul into this person, and in the end you were left with nothing. This site https://www.unfinishedman.com/secrets-of-successful-online-dating/ helped me a lot, I was able to communicate with girls more often, started dating and revealed myself as a person in a new way. I hope my post will help someone.

 

[Epicmen]

If she had been told about this service earlier, she would not have wasted her time trying to get acquainted in bars. As it turned out, dating sites are much more effective and efficient. I was able to have a read enough information in order not to get burned and find a guy for pleasure, and not to take out the brain. And she succeeded. Now hot nights are optional and no hassle.

 

[katemaribell]

I also want to be married, but no one don't suit me. So I decided to buy here the best realistic male sex doll I have seen or used. https://kinkazoid.com/male-sex-dolls/help me with it . The manufacturers made it in such a way that in ordering for it, you can choose the skin tone, head, hairstyle and many more. Before buying this doll, I made sure I created the perfect picture of my ideal man and ordered for this.

 

[Jaciro]

I don't know what to say about this situation. I'm not a religious person, so my advice can be considered disrespectful to some people; excuse me if it is. I understand why you feel this way, and it's completely normal. Everyone needs encouragement and help throughout their life. I would personally focus on myself more and ignore what other people say bad about me. I would put the new suit on gentlemansguru.com and promise myself that from now on, I would be loyal to myself, and I will love myself first.