distressed!!

[lilacmuslimah123]

Assalamu alaikum everyone thank you for your replies and advise sisters and brother Frank the only thing is there is no hope of ever any respect from my daughter she is beyond all control she says she thinks im disgusting for what ive become (Muslim) she will carry on her life drinking smoking sleeping with men etc she says ive ruined her life this past year and actually gave me an ultimatum "who do you put first? your God or your daughter me " of course Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him) comes before everything!!!! well sisters and brothers the names and words she called me were incredible she has told me she will never accept what ive become and who ive married and that i should be ashamed to call myself a mother and yet she still keeps ringing to the point we have to turn our phone off all day. The trouble with me is as soon as se starts crying how ive ruined her life i go to pieces and have always given in to her but now ive found the TRUE path i cant my priority is to please Allah(may peace and blessings be upon him) im sorry sisters and brothers i know im rambling im just so distressed by all of it sorry!.

 

[Abu Talib]

:salam2:

Sister it really hurts reading that. I am not in a position to reply or advise you.

All I can say is pray to ALLAH Subhana Wata'ala that she changes and listens to you.

 

[4mMadara2Amina]

...Salam alykom Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu....

My dear sister as I have been following your story am really sad from deep inside once again. I know it is very hard for you but Alhamdulillah you have been found yourself. Pray to Allah Ta'ala- He hears you, He sees you and He understands you. He is making you go trought hard times to see how strong is your faith, He has been touched your soul and He do love you. May Allah Ta'ala bless you and your family. Ameen.
Dear sister, I wish I could do something more, but as an advice i can lay down few more words. She is still teenager and she might make her dislikes and likes, priorities and wishes, but always mother her will be just one. In time she will be ashamed of what have she said. She will ask for forgiviness. And even you wouldn't follow Islam her destiny would be the same. Dear sister each of us has our way of destiny. I have written this before also to you. I am in my Dua's with you and your family.
I really am with you and love you my sister. Please do care of yourself and try to find a peace in Islam by reading Surah's or talk with someone who might make you busy.
InshAllah you find peace soon. :tti_sister:

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

lilacmuslimah123,

Were I in you situation, I would tell my child that I love him or her and I am sorry that she feels that way. However, I only have to answer for the choices I make. I hope they find that for which they are looking; however, I will not accept the blame for their happiness or sadness. My wife was literally tortured by her parents. She has had a very hard life. Throughout her life she has had many medical problems. And, yet she is the nicest and kindest person I have ever met.

We can change the past. We are not guaranteed the future. Do what you can to live for Allah today. You are a Muslim and are never alone. Just as you are not responsible for anyone else's feelings or actions, they are not responsible for your's.

I hope, Insha Allah, that you are able to reestablish a relationship with your daughter. The best decision that I ever made was to live my life for Allah and not worry about my family. They can either accept it or condemn it which is their choice and their consequences.

I wish I had more time to give references and links, but my wife has a bone scan scheduled and I must do SILAH before we live.

I will keep all of you in my du'a and please keep us and all Muslims in your's.

 

[Living Soul]

Assalamu alaikum everyone thank you for your replies and advise sisters and brother Frank the only thing is there is no hope of ever any respect from my daughter she is beyond all control she says she thinks im disgusting for what ive become (Muslim) she will carry on her life drinking smoking sleeping with men etc she says ive ruined her life this past year and actually gave me an ultimatum "who do you put first? your God or your daughter me " of course Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him) comes before everything!!!! well sisters and brothers the names and words she called me were incredible she has told me she will never accept what ive become and who ive married and that i should be ashamed to call myself a mother and yet she still keeps ringing to the point we have to turn our phone off all day. The trouble with me is as soon as se starts crying how ive ruined her life i go to pieces and have always given in to her but now ive found the TRUE path i cant my priority is to please Allah(may peace and blessings be upon him) im sorry sisters and brothers i know im rambling im just so distressed by all of it sorry!.

:salam2:

Sister May Allah Subhanahu Wa Tala ease your situation and reward you abundantly for your efforts and for all that you are going through Ameeen.

Sister the prayer (Peace be upon Him) is not used for Allah Ta'ala but for Prophet Peace Be Upon Him.

:tti_sister:

 

[lilacmuslimah123]

Assalamu alaikum, thanks everyone for your replies they are really welcome as i am feeling very low at the moment and thank you living soul for correcting me im very embarressed but i didnt know this was wrong sorry .

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

:salam2:
sister!!!i'm soso sorry to see you going through such an awful situation*hugs*.........it's only natural that you feel sad when you daughter say things to youbut sis brother frank is right...........you are not responsible for everyones troubles

may ALLAH make things easy for you,and guide us all including your daughter t the right path.ameen

*and it's no rambling,we are suppose to be around for each other

take care sister*hugs*

 

[HIVpozmuslim]

I am not in your shoes I cannot understand what you must be going through.
May Allah make it easy on you and your daughter. May Allah guide your daughter to the righteous path. Ameen

 

[Valerie]

I can't give advice from a muslim perspective, obviously, but it almost seems like she is saying one thing and really wanting another. If sitting down and talking through the issues is impossible, I'd just say pray and be patient. I wouldn't point out what she's doing wrong (right away) because that would put her on the defensive. Keep letting her know that you love her unconditionally, and hopefully she'll come around. She needs you and maybe she'll find a way to change her life when she understands the peace you've found.