Divorce my DH?
- Thread starter shaya
- Start date
- Status
No. I dont know why he told you that but this is the first time I heard of somethig like this. Islam is based on patience and the more patient you are the more Allah(swt) rewards you. I dont mean any disrespect, but dont let Imams rule your life. I mean to me one's marriage is a very private matter and its the sole business of the couple only. Unless you are having marital issues and seek advice from someone, what is going on between a couple is not public. Like I said, I dont mean any disrespect but whoever you Imam is, should mind his own business. Unless of course you asked him for help.
Ahmed ibn Ibrahim
alhamdulilah
Asalaamu alaikum,
It is not permissible for a believing sister to be married to a kufar, as there exists too much oppourtunity for abuse, misguided leadership, and for the sister's new family to develop into a family unit of disbelief. It is better for you to be married to a Muslim who will ensure that your rights are respected, ensure that your family will be taken care of in every regard, take the active role of maintaining a healthy and dynamic Islamic home-environment, and to be there beside you in this journey worshipping God alone in all that you do.
Beyond this, I cannot say. God knows best.
What does DH mean? Dear husband? I'm also confused by your saying that you didn't take the shahada... Neither you nor your husband apply Islam? Or just your husband? There's no need for you to be worried about any of this if you don't believe in God or His prophets or the Hereafter. Lot of people out there don't and they seem to manage just fine. But if you're concerned with establishing worship with Allah SWT in all that you do, it is better for you to be partnered with a Muslim also. InshaAllah you will decide this for yourself, and your husband will come to understand the beauty, peace, satisfaction, contentment and bountiful blessings that come with accomplishing Islam each and every day of your lives... InshaAllah. =)
WaSalaam,
Br. Ahmed
It is not permissible for a believing sister to be married to a kufar, as there exists too much oppourtunity for abuse, misguided leadership, and for the sister's new family to develop into a family unit of disbelief. It is better for you to be married to a Muslim who will ensure that your rights are respected, ensure that your family will be taken care of in every regard, take the active role of maintaining a healthy and dynamic Islamic home-environment, and to be there beside you in this journey worshipping God alone in all that you do.
Beyond this, I cannot say. God knows best.
What does DH mean? Dear husband? I'm also confused by your saying that you didn't take the shahada... Neither you nor your husband apply Islam? Or just your husband? There's no need for you to be worried about any of this if you don't believe in God or His prophets or the Hereafter. Lot of people out there don't and they seem to manage just fine. But if you're concerned with establishing worship with Allah SWT in all that you do, it is better for you to be partnered with a Muslim also. InshaAllah you will decide this for yourself, and your husband will come to understand the beauty, peace, satisfaction, contentment and bountiful blessings that come with accomplishing Islam each and every day of your lives... InshaAllah. =)
WaSalaam,
Br. Ahmed
Ahmed ibn Ibrahim
alhamdulilah
I say the above from knowledge, and have found a reliable source (IslamQ&A, the Qu'ran, as well as a haddith) to back up my statements. Yes this is a "fatwa", but it is made by a qualified Imam, explicitly quotes relavent holy scripture and explains its application:
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, no matter what the reasons, even if that is only on paper as you say. Marriage is a serious matter and is to be taken seriously, regardless of how it is done. There is no such thing as marriage on paper only, as some people think, rather there is binding marriage. If it fulfils the conditions then it is valid and if it does not fulfil the conditions then it is a haraam marriage and it is not permissible for anyone to do it.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon (polytheists) till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The Muslims are unanimously agreed that a kaafir cannot inherit from a Muslim and a kaafir man cannot marry a Muslim woman. End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra (3/130)
Once again we refer to the matter of provision (rizq) – as marriage comes under the general heading of provision. One of the greatest means of attaining provision is obedience to Allaah, may He be exalted. It is strange that people try to attain provision by disobeying Allaah. This is more likely to close the door to provision; even if it is open, this will cause a person to get carried away (and he will end up in Hellfire) – we ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
There follows an important hadeeth which will increase us in faith and certain belief that provision comes through obedience to Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Holy Spirit (Jibreel) has inspired to me that no soul will die until it has completed its appointed term and received its provision in full, so fear Allaah and do not be desperate in seeking provision, and no one of you should be tempted to seek provision by means of committing sin if it is slow in coming to him, for that which is with Allaah can only be attained by obeying Him.” Narrated by Abu Na’eem in al-Hilyah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 2085.
Do not pay any attention to the looks and comments of others, for their words do not in fact cause any harm or benefit. Late marriage may be for a good purpose willed by Allaah; we do not know where goodness lies. So delegate your affairs to Allaah, may He be exalted, and spend your time in doing good deeds and expiating bad deeds, for the appointed time will soon come, the Day on which the victors will attain victory and the losers will incur loss.
“And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
How many married woman has Allaah blessed with children and wealth, but they will be driven to the Fire on that Day.
How many women do not attain wealth or find a husband, but they will be in the highest parts of Paradise.
Have faith, obey Allaah and remain chaste, for this world is transient and fleeting.
“Verily, the home of the Hereafter ___ that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:64]
May Allaah help us and you to obey Him and seek His pleasure.
And Allaah knows best.
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, no matter what the reasons, even if that is only on paper as you say. Marriage is a serious matter and is to be taken seriously, regardless of how it is done. There is no such thing as marriage on paper only, as some people think, rather there is binding marriage. If it fulfils the conditions then it is valid and if it does not fulfil the conditions then it is a haraam marriage and it is not permissible for anyone to do it.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon (polytheists) till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The Muslims are unanimously agreed that a kaafir cannot inherit from a Muslim and a kaafir man cannot marry a Muslim woman. End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra (3/130)
Once again we refer to the matter of provision (rizq) – as marriage comes under the general heading of provision. One of the greatest means of attaining provision is obedience to Allaah, may He be exalted. It is strange that people try to attain provision by disobeying Allaah. This is more likely to close the door to provision; even if it is open, this will cause a person to get carried away (and he will end up in Hellfire) – we ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
There follows an important hadeeth which will increase us in faith and certain belief that provision comes through obedience to Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Holy Spirit (Jibreel) has inspired to me that no soul will die until it has completed its appointed term and received its provision in full, so fear Allaah and do not be desperate in seeking provision, and no one of you should be tempted to seek provision by means of committing sin if it is slow in coming to him, for that which is with Allaah can only be attained by obeying Him.” Narrated by Abu Na’eem in al-Hilyah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 2085.
Do not pay any attention to the looks and comments of others, for their words do not in fact cause any harm or benefit. Late marriage may be for a good purpose willed by Allaah; we do not know where goodness lies. So delegate your affairs to Allaah, may He be exalted, and spend your time in doing good deeds and expiating bad deeds, for the appointed time will soon come, the Day on which the victors will attain victory and the losers will incur loss.
“And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
How many married woman has Allaah blessed with children and wealth, but they will be driven to the Fire on that Day.
How many women do not attain wealth or find a husband, but they will be in the highest parts of Paradise.
Have faith, obey Allaah and remain chaste, for this world is transient and fleeting.
“Verily, the home of the Hereafter ___ that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:64]
May Allaah help us and you to obey Him and seek His pleasure.
And Allaah knows best.
DH means dear husband.
I love him dearly and we married before God/Allah.
I refuse to divorce him because it would go against God. I am committed to him.
God was mentioned in our ceremony and acknowledged.
I think i would be disrespectful for me to divorce DH in the eyes of God. i believe he brought us together.
If this is what I have to do i will just stay on my current path!
And YES i do believe in God. Very deeply.
I love him dearly and we married before God/Allah.
I refuse to divorce him because it would go against God. I am committed to him.
God was mentioned in our ceremony and acknowledged.
I think i would be disrespectful for me to divorce DH in the eyes of God. i believe he brought us together.
If this is what I have to do i will just stay on my current path!
And YES i do believe in God. Very deeply.
Ahmed ibn Ibrahim
alhamdulilah
Wonderful =) That is good for you.
Well, take some time to think about it, pray about it, figure it all through... Ultimately it's your choice, right, so who am I to tell you what to do. Or an Imam. Or the Qu'ran. Alhamdulilah, this life is made vibrant by the choices we make, each of us individually and all of us together in congregation. Anywho, I wish you success and happiness with the choices you make - Take care. =)
Well, take some time to think about it, pray about it, figure it all through... Ultimately it's your choice, right, so who am I to tell you what to do. Or an Imam. Or the Qu'ran. Alhamdulilah, this life is made vibrant by the choices we make, each of us individually and all of us together in congregation. Anywho, I wish you success and happiness with the choices you make - Take care. =)
The position of Sunni scholarship is that, based on explicit Qur'anic verses, the marriage of a woman who converts but whose husband remains non-Muslim is annulled. The only difference on the matter concerns when the annulment occurs:
In the Hanafi school, the marriage is annulled after 3 menstrual periods (during which time she cannot have intimate physical relations with him).
In particular case where leaving her husband may lead a woman to choose to leaving Islam, not emphasizing this point initially may be from applying the principle of, “Falling into lesser harm in order to avoid greater harm.” However, such cases should be referred to learned scholars of understanding, in order to seek their case-specific guidance because counseling and support is often an effective alternative option.
So dear sister, please try to get more opinion from the learned schollar for your specific case and they can determind correctly inshaa Allah.
And Allah alone gives success.
Wassalam,
In the Hanafi school, the marriage is annulled after 3 menstrual periods (during which time she cannot have intimate physical relations with him).
In particular case where leaving her husband may lead a woman to choose to leaving Islam, not emphasizing this point initially may be from applying the principle of, “Falling into lesser harm in order to avoid greater harm.” However, such cases should be referred to learned scholars of understanding, in order to seek their case-specific guidance because counseling and support is often an effective alternative option.
So dear sister, please try to get more opinion from the learned schollar for your specific case and they can determind correctly inshaa Allah.
And Allah alone gives success.
Wassalam,
dianek
Junior Member
I do not even have any amount of islamic knowledge that others do, but logically, if you were married before your conversion then you should STAY married and keep your faith and love with your husband. You were married before God and therefore, the bond of marriage should NOT be broken because you have now chosen Islam as your path. INSTEAD, you should stay and love him and try to guide your husband into islam without demanding or giving altimatums. My husband was born muslim, I just converted. We have been married 6 YEARS. During that time I expressed disgust at Islam, swearing it would be a cold day in Haites before I would convert.......technically, my husband should have divorced me. But he refused and held fast and left me alone about religion until I found my own way...... Do not divorce your husband.......doesn't Allah find divorce detestable? One day your husband may choose islam because he had you as an example!
msaeed
Junior Member
Salaamualikumwrwb
Sister, do you believe that there is no God, except Allaah and that Muhammed, peace be upon him, is His messenger?
If so, then I strongly advise you to say your testimony of faith, or "Shahada", between you and God as soon as possible. We cannot guarantee that we will live to see the evening or morning come.
Allah Almighty Said: "O ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should be Feared, and die not except in a state of Islam. (The Noble Quran, 3:102)"
While it is true that divorce is the worst amongst the things Allaah SWT has made permissible for us, a believing woman cannot marry a non muslim man.
HOWEVER, it is much, much more important for you to die as a MUSLIM who has sinned, rather than a NON MUSLIM. If you sincerely believe, say your shahada right away InshAllaah.
We should all try our best at obeying what our Creator has commanded us to do, however, Allaah SWT is the Most Merciful, Oft-Forgiving and so we should never despair of His forgiveness, no matter what our hands may have committed.
"Allah forgiveth not that partners should be set up with Him; but He forgiveth anything else, to whom He pleaseth; to set up partners with God is to devise a sin Most heinous indeed. (The Noble Quran, 4:48)"
It is critical to acknowledge that this is not permissible and that you should sincerely try your BEST, to obey God. However, if you honestly have tried and think you cannot leave your husband, then you should seek forgiveness daily from Allaah SWT and turn towards Him in repentance. Again, its more important that you die as a Muslim who has sinned, than as a non Muslim.
Having said that, work on your religion, learn and adjust and slowly but steadily, invite your husband to Islam in order to save your loved one from the torments of the Fire.
I am not a scholar nor do I intend on giving my own ruling or fatwa. I am just stating that we know that though we know the ruling is not permissible, it is always better to be a sinning muslim who realizes that what they are doing is not permissible, but is trying to do their best as much as they think they can, rather than a non muslim who has been pushed away from the fear of not being forgiven.
"Say: 'O my Servants who Have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (The Noble Quran, 39:53)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHAHADA:
Say this if you sincerely believe:
[ʾašhadu ʾan] lā ilāha illā-llāh, wa [ʾašhadu ʾanna] muḥammadan rasūlu-llāh
"[I testify that] there is no god (ilah) but God (Allah), and [I testify that] Muhammad is the messenger of God."
Please keep us updated InshAllaah and continue to ask for help InshAllaah. Salaamualikumwrwb
Sister, do you believe that there is no God, except Allaah and that Muhammed, peace be upon him, is His messenger?
If so, then I strongly advise you to say your testimony of faith, or "Shahada", between you and God as soon as possible. We cannot guarantee that we will live to see the evening or morning come.
Allah Almighty Said: "O ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should be Feared, and die not except in a state of Islam. (The Noble Quran, 3:102)"
While it is true that divorce is the worst amongst the things Allaah SWT has made permissible for us, a believing woman cannot marry a non muslim man.
HOWEVER, it is much, much more important for you to die as a MUSLIM who has sinned, rather than a NON MUSLIM. If you sincerely believe, say your shahada right away InshAllaah.
We should all try our best at obeying what our Creator has commanded us to do, however, Allaah SWT is the Most Merciful, Oft-Forgiving and so we should never despair of His forgiveness, no matter what our hands may have committed.
"Allah forgiveth not that partners should be set up with Him; but He forgiveth anything else, to whom He pleaseth; to set up partners with God is to devise a sin Most heinous indeed. (The Noble Quran, 4:48)"
It is critical to acknowledge that this is not permissible and that you should sincerely try your BEST, to obey God. However, if you honestly have tried and think you cannot leave your husband, then you should seek forgiveness daily from Allaah SWT and turn towards Him in repentance. Again, its more important that you die as a Muslim who has sinned, than as a non Muslim.
Having said that, work on your religion, learn and adjust and slowly but steadily, invite your husband to Islam in order to save your loved one from the torments of the Fire.
I am not a scholar nor do I intend on giving my own ruling or fatwa. I am just stating that we know that though we know the ruling is not permissible, it is always better to be a sinning muslim who realizes that what they are doing is not permissible, but is trying to do their best as much as they think they can, rather than a non muslim who has been pushed away from the fear of not being forgiven.
"Say: 'O my Servants who Have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (The Noble Quran, 39:53)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHAHADA:
Say this if you sincerely believe:
Which means in English:
"[I testify that] there is no god (ilah) but God (Allah), and [I testify that] Muhammad is the messenger of God."
Please keep us updated InshAllaah and continue to ask for help InshAllaah. Salaamualikumwrwb
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
HELLO SHAYA,
i appreciate your love towards your husband{ are u indian by any chance} jus joking.well lets see..
i guess the whole thing got messed up.first of all i would like to say i support the truth wherever it is.and surely the truth is with your Creator and your husbands Creator and my CREATOR and our Sustainer and Guide.}lets try to find it out for this indeed is a matter of life and death.
NOW SEE there are three povs .
first the imams ,i can only say that he did his job correctly in that he told you a fact.,i think he merely informed you {though i know it must have sounded heartless} that this is how it is ,so hat u keep it in mind,whilst deciding.
secondly,yours first of all congrats because it takes courge to do what you did.truly because i know or have heard of people who spent upto eight years of their life driving to the mosque nd coming back home without ever talking to anyone.so in a way you have crossed that.lingering pain of upto 8 rs in a single go.bravo,now you shudnt worry boz maybe instead of slow medication for years u have had an x ray and that tells u clearly wht choices u have.but that wud be if u studied the x ray correctly {u hve made a major mistake and i shll ell u at the end what it was} u have thot that x ray says u gt tumor,which is nt what it says.by the wy by x ray i mean what ever happened.
see the first thing is u r lacking in faith. see even those who deny god very deeply believe in god that is why they deny Him.because only that can be denied that exists! so how deeply we believe in God is shown by how much we obey {may Allah have mercy i knw what i am}yes by how much we obey HIM,not by any thing else. reflect on this surah of the Quran..
Surah 80
The Frowning Abas
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
He frowned and turned his back when the blind man came to him.
How could you tell? He might have sought to purify himself.
He might have been forewarned and the reminder might have profited him. But to the one who considered himself self-sufficient you were all attention. Yet the fault would not be yours if he remained uncleansed.
As to him who comes to you with zeal and with a feeling of fear in his heart him you ignore and busy yourself with tribes.
No indeed !
This is an admonition; let him who will, bear it in mind.
It is written on honoured pages, exalted, purified, by the hands of noble and devout scribes.
Perish man!
How ungrateful he is!
Of what did Allah create him?
Of a little sperm drop- He created him and proportioned him.
He makes his path smooth for him.
He then causes him to die and puts him in his grave.
He will surely bring him back to life when He pleases.
But by no means has man fulfilled His bidding.
Let man reflect on the food he eats:
how We pour down the rain in torrents,
and cleave the earth in fissures;
how We bring forth the corn, the grapes, and the fresh vegetation,
the olive and the palm, the dense tree'd gardens.
the fruit-trees and the green pastures,
for you and your cattle to delight in.
But when the stunning blast is sounded,
on that day each man will forsake his brother,
his mother and his father,
his wife and his children:
for each one of them will on that day have enough preoccupation's of his own.
Some faces on that day shall be beaming, smiling and joyful.
Some other faces on that day shall be covered with dust,
veiled with darkness.
These shall be the faces of the disbelievers, the hardened in sin.
may Allah guide us all.
i appreciate your love towards your husband{ are u indian by any chance} jus joking.well lets see..
i guess the whole thing got messed up.first of all i would like to say i support the truth wherever it is.and surely the truth is with your Creator and your husbands Creator and my CREATOR and our Sustainer and Guide.}lets try to find it out for this indeed is a matter of life and death.
NOW SEE there are three povs .
first the imams ,i can only say that he did his job correctly in that he told you a fact.,i think he merely informed you {though i know it must have sounded heartless} that this is how it is ,so hat u keep it in mind,whilst deciding.
secondly,yours first of all congrats because it takes courge to do what you did.truly because i know or have heard of people who spent upto eight years of their life driving to the mosque nd coming back home without ever talking to anyone.so in a way you have crossed that.lingering pain of upto 8 rs in a single go.bravo,now you shudnt worry boz maybe instead of slow medication for years u have had an x ray and that tells u clearly wht choices u have.but that wud be if u studied the x ray correctly {u hve made a major mistake and i shll ell u at the end what it was} u have thot that x ray says u gt tumor,which is nt what it says.by the wy by x ray i mean what ever happened.
see the first thing is u r lacking in faith. see even those who deny god very deeply believe in god that is why they deny Him.because only that can be denied that exists! so how deeply we believe in God is shown by how much we obey {may Allah have mercy i knw what i am}yes by how much we obey HIM,not by any thing else. reflect on this surah of the Quran..
Surah 80
The Frowning Abas
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
He frowned and turned his back when the blind man came to him.
How could you tell? He might have sought to purify himself.
He might have been forewarned and the reminder might have profited him. But to the one who considered himself self-sufficient you were all attention. Yet the fault would not be yours if he remained uncleansed.
As to him who comes to you with zeal and with a feeling of fear in his heart him you ignore and busy yourself with tribes.
No indeed !
This is an admonition; let him who will, bear it in mind.
It is written on honoured pages, exalted, purified, by the hands of noble and devout scribes.
Perish man!
How ungrateful he is!
Of what did Allah create him?
Of a little sperm drop- He created him and proportioned him.
He makes his path smooth for him.
He then causes him to die and puts him in his grave.
He will surely bring him back to life when He pleases.
But by no means has man fulfilled His bidding.
Let man reflect on the food he eats:
how We pour down the rain in torrents,
and cleave the earth in fissures;
how We bring forth the corn, the grapes, and the fresh vegetation,
the olive and the palm, the dense tree'd gardens.
the fruit-trees and the green pastures,
for you and your cattle to delight in.
But when the stunning blast is sounded,
on that day each man will forsake his brother,
his mother and his father,
his wife and his children:
for each one of them will on that day have enough preoccupation's of his own.
Some faces on that day shall be beaming, smiling and joyful.
Some other faces on that day shall be covered with dust,
veiled with darkness.
These shall be the faces of the disbelievers, the hardened in sin.
may Allah guide us all.
Hello Shaya
I see your dilemma ... no one can pretend it is easy ... welcome to your first test.
If you believe in the one God (Allah) and the last prophet Muhammad (pbuh), then you are a muslim. If you are staying in your current marriage then you will be sinning (we all are) but this will not change what you believe in.
We Muslims should have our faith above all ... this is the demand and you know the reward. I guess it is a matter of choice for you how you want to prioritise your life. Islam means submission to God, not God submitting to our wills. If God was to submit to all our wills then he will be redundant ... why do you need a figure of authority in your life when you seem to know better ?
I'd second the advice of others. Think about it, talk to your husband about it, read about it ... you may wish to ask a scholar for a detailed opinion and explanation. Above all, pray to God to lead you the true way and ease your hardships.
Life is short and we should spend it on what really matters. I see you are asking the correct questions, answers will come to you insha'allah (God willing).
I see your dilemma ... no one can pretend it is easy ... welcome to your first test.
If you believe in the one God (Allah) and the last prophet Muhammad (pbuh), then you are a muslim. If you are staying in your current marriage then you will be sinning (we all are) but this will not change what you believe in.
We Muslims should have our faith above all ... this is the demand and you know the reward. I guess it is a matter of choice for you how you want to prioritise your life. Islam means submission to God, not God submitting to our wills. If God was to submit to all our wills then he will be redundant ... why do you need a figure of authority in your life when you seem to know better ?
I'd second the advice of others. Think about it, talk to your husband about it, read about it ... you may wish to ask a scholar for a detailed opinion and explanation. Above all, pray to God to lead you the true way and ease your hardships.
Life is short and we should spend it on what really matters. I see you are asking the correct questions, answers will come to you insha'allah (God willing).
dianek
Junior Member
Suppose she had children with her husband, and she may, how is breaking up the family encouraging her deen and faith in Allah? God brought her to islam and he knows all. I cannot believe he would wish to end her marriage.......I still say, put your faith in God and be an example for your husband.
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said:
Ask me (about matters pertaining to religion), but they (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) were too much overawed out of profound respect for him to ask him (anything).
In the meanwhile a man came there, and sat near his knees and said: Messenger of Allah, what al-lslam is?-to which he (the Holy Prophet)replied:
You must not associate anything with Allah,
and establish prayer,
pay the poor-rate (Zakat)
and observe (the fasts) of Ramadan.
He said : You (have) told the truth.
He (again) said: Messenger of Allah, what al-Iman (the faith) is?
He (the Holy Prophet) said: That you affirm your faith in Allah,
His angels,
His Books,
His meeting, His Apostles, and that you believe in Resurrection and that you believe in Qadr (Divine Decree) in all its entirety, He (the inquirer) said: You (have) told the truth.
He (again) said: Messenger of Allah, what al-Ihsan is? Upon this he (the Holy Prophet) said: (Al-Ihsan implies) that you fear Allah as if you are seeing Him, and though you see Him not, verily He is seeing you.
He (the inquirer) said: You(have) told the truth. He (the inquirer) said: When there would be the hour (of Doom)? (Upon this) he (the HolyProphet said:The one who is being asked about it is no better informed than the inquirer himself. I,however,narrate some of its signs (and these are):
when you see a slave(woman)giving birth to her master - that is one of the signs of (Doom); when you see barefooted, naked, deaf and dumb (ignorant and foolish persons) as the rulers of the earth - that is one of the signs of the Doom. And when you see the shepherds of black camels exult in buildings - that is one of the signs of Doom. The (Doom) is one of the five things (wrapped) in the unseen. No one knows them except Allah. Then(the Holy Prophet) recited (the folowing verse): "Verily Allah ! with Him alone is the knowledge of the hour and
He it is Who sends down the rain and knows that which is in the wombs and no person knows whatsoever he shall earn on morrow and a person knows not in whatsoever land he shall die. Verily Allah is Knowing,Aware. He (the narrator, Abu Huraira) said: Then the person stood up an (made his way). The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Bring him back to me. He was searched for, but they (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) could not find him. The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) thereupon said: He was Gabriel and he wanted to teach you (things pertaining to religion) when you did not ask (them yourselves).
Ask me (about matters pertaining to religion), but they (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) were too much overawed out of profound respect for him to ask him (anything).
In the meanwhile a man came there, and sat near his knees and said: Messenger of Allah, what al-lslam is?-to which he (the Holy Prophet)replied:
You must not associate anything with Allah,
and establish prayer,
pay the poor-rate (Zakat)
and observe (the fasts) of Ramadan.
He said : You (have) told the truth.
He (again) said: Messenger of Allah, what al-Iman (the faith) is?
He (the Holy Prophet) said: That you affirm your faith in Allah,
His angels,
His Books,
His meeting, His Apostles, and that you believe in Resurrection and that you believe in Qadr (Divine Decree) in all its entirety, He (the inquirer) said: You (have) told the truth.
He (again) said: Messenger of Allah, what al-Ihsan is? Upon this he (the Holy Prophet) said: (Al-Ihsan implies) that you fear Allah as if you are seeing Him, and though you see Him not, verily He is seeing you.
He (the inquirer) said: You(have) told the truth. He (the inquirer) said: When there would be the hour (of Doom)? (Upon this) he (the HolyProphet said:The one who is being asked about it is no better informed than the inquirer himself. I,however,narrate some of its signs (and these are):
when you see a slave(woman)giving birth to her master - that is one of the signs of (Doom); when you see barefooted, naked, deaf and dumb (ignorant and foolish persons) as the rulers of the earth - that is one of the signs of the Doom. And when you see the shepherds of black camels exult in buildings - that is one of the signs of Doom. The (Doom) is one of the five things (wrapped) in the unseen. No one knows them except Allah. Then(the Holy Prophet) recited (the folowing verse): "Verily Allah ! with Him alone is the knowledge of the hour and
He it is Who sends down the rain and knows that which is in the wombs and no person knows whatsoever he shall earn on morrow and a person knows not in whatsoever land he shall die. Verily Allah is Knowing,Aware. He (the narrator, Abu Huraira) said: Then the person stood up an (made his way). The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Bring him back to me. He was searched for, but they (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) could not find him. The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) thereupon said: He was Gabriel and he wanted to teach you (things pertaining to religion) when you did not ask (them yourselves).
SHAYA did u associate anything above god umm i cant think ,ummm can u?
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
sister dianek ,the kids are mashallah beautiful.may Allah bless ur family.
:salam2:
sister the answers over here should be from an islamic point of view, we are not here to give our opinions. I think she deserves to know what islam says about this situation, not what others believe in or think. let those who have knowledge about this give their answers with proofs from the Quran and sunna. I hope that I did not offend any body, and I am sorry if I did, but i felt the need to say that.
:salam2:
sister the answers over here should be from an islamic point of view, we are not here to give our opinions. I think she deserves to know what islam says about this situation, not what others believe in or think. let those who have knowledge about this give their answers with proofs from the Quran and sunna. I hope that I did not offend any body, and I am sorry if I did, but i felt the need to say that.
:salam2:
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
look shaya i must admit that we are very haughty at times just think u claim u love ur husband...is this love for this life only ?dont u want the best for him too?what made u think that u will have to leave ur husband_how did u say or know he wont come to islam ?
do u want him to stand on the day of judgement blaming u that u never introduced him to islam,but one mood dy went to the mosque disliked something over there and moved on with life ...towards hell.{???}
see i love my parents and i am 100! all he time praying that they get jannah and are with me over there. how could u not think about ur husband ?
or u want to prove how much u love ur husband{and disregard the One who made him in the first place}
by going to hell with him?
WHY NOT BOTH OF YOU COME TO ISLAM ND SUBMIT TO UR CREATORS WILL AND LIVE AS A OUPLE EVEN IN HEAVEN.???IS THAT SOO TOUGH.IF HE BECPMES MUSLIM U DONT HAVE TO LEaVE HIM.{i will inshallah pos here a story about a woman in the Prophes time.,after this}
by Allah even i dont know what my end is going to be.
but i feel patience should have been ur first preference instead of implying that
i really hope u dint mean it.i hope U understand that if Allah wants he can take ur hubby dear from u right now.nd on the roads so many ppl die.,and their beloved wife cries like nything till a long time ,only to move to a new husband .and they accept it as destiny.
dont get me wrong ,it just needs o be said that Whom we r ready to leAve for such little exuses is The One who an take those very things from us.I should know it has happened with me.
i think in all probablity it was a test from Allah whom u say u believe deeply and U quickly found from it that u love ur hubby more than God which is uncceptable thing.
see it was like Someone blesses you with a loollipop{and many other things} and while u enjoy that lollipop ,asks u{as a test of whether u r thankjful or not} if u wud leave the lollipop for him and u say no its my DL ,dear lollipop.
my DS Allah blessed u with this person ,maybe He wants the best for both of u ,and it was a small test, where u turned ur back on the choicest gift of your Lord,al islam.
i still believe that Allah loves u ,because if he didnt wudnt be writing this.He wudnt let me . and maybe his second chance is cause u really deeply believe in Him .
ALLAH GUIDES WHOM HE WILLS, PRAY I M ONE OF THOSE WHO OBEY HIM AS HE WISHES TO BE OBEYED.ALL GOOD IS FROM ALLAH ND TO HIM WE RETURN AT THE JOURNEY END.
the ring is a lonely place for a fighter who is unprepared.
same for judgement day. PREPARE 2GETHER
do u want him to stand on the day of judgement blaming u that u never introduced him to islam,but one mood dy went to the mosque disliked something over there and moved on with life ...towards hell.{???}
see i love my parents and i am 100! all he time praying that they get jannah and are with me over there. how could u not think about ur husband ?
or u want to prove how much u love ur husband{and disregard the One who made him in the first place}
by going to hell with him?
WHY NOT BOTH OF YOU COME TO ISLAM ND SUBMIT TO UR CREATORS WILL AND LIVE AS A OUPLE EVEN IN HEAVEN.???IS THAT SOO TOUGH.IF HE BECPMES MUSLIM U DONT HAVE TO LEaVE HIM.{i will inshallah pos here a story about a woman in the Prophes time.,after this}
by Allah even i dont know what my end is going to be.
but i feel patience should have been ur first preference instead of implying that
.{islam means submission to God's will }
i really hope u dint mean it.i hope U understand that if Allah wants he can take ur hubby dear from u right now.nd on the roads so many ppl die.,and their beloved wife cries like nything till a long time ,only to move to a new husband .and they accept it as destiny.
dont get me wrong ,it just needs o be said that Whom we r ready to leAve for such little exuses is The One who an take those very things from us.I should know it has happened with me.
i think in all probablity it was a test from Allah whom u say u believe deeply and U quickly found from it that u love ur hubby more than God which is uncceptable thing.
see it was like Someone blesses you with a loollipop{and many other things} and while u enjoy that lollipop ,asks u{as a test of whether u r thankjful or not} if u wud leave the lollipop for him and u say no its my DL ,dear lollipop.
my DS Allah blessed u with this person ,maybe He wants the best for both of u ,and it was a small test, where u turned ur back on the choicest gift of your Lord,al islam.
i still believe that Allah loves u ,because if he didnt wudnt be writing this.He wudnt let me . and maybe his second chance is cause u really deeply believe in Him .
ALLAH GUIDES WHOM HE WILLS, PRAY I M ONE OF THOSE WHO OBEY HIM AS HE WISHES TO BE OBEYED.ALL GOOD IS FROM ALLAH ND TO HIM WE RETURN AT THE JOURNEY END.
the ring is a lonely place for a fighter who is unprepared.
same for judgement day. PREPARE 2GETHER
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
Umayr ibn Sad became an orphan at an early age. His father died leaving him and his mother poor and destitute. His mother eventually married again, to one of the richest men in Madinah. His name was Julas ibn Suwayd who was from the powerful tribe of al-Aws.
Umayr was well looked after by Julas and loved him as a son would love a father. Indeed he began to forget that he was an orphan. As Umayr grew older, Julas fondness and love for him grew. Julas would marvel at the intelligence he displayed in everything he did and at the honesty and trustworthiness which characterized his behavior.
One day, shortly before the army was due to set out, the young Umayr ibn Sad returned home after performing Salat in the mosque. He was all agog with excitement. He had just witnessed the great generosity and the spontaneous spirit of sacrifice which the Muslims displayed in preparing for the expedition. He had seen women of the Muhajirin and the Ansar donating their jewellery and their ornaments to buy provisions and equipment for the army. He had seen Uthman ibn Affan handing over a purse containing a thousand gold dinars to the Prophet and Abdur Rahman ibn Awl carrying on his shoulders two hundred awqiyyah of gold and placing it before the noble Prophet. Indeed he had even seen a man trying to sell his bed in order to purchase a sword for himself.
At home, he recalled these moving and inspiring scenes. He was surprised however that Julas was so slow in preparing for the expedition with the Prophet and at his delay in contributing especially since he was quite rich and could afford to give generously. Umayr felt that he had to arouse his ardor or stir his sense of generosity and manliness. So with great enthusiasm he related what he had seen and heard at the mosque particularly the case of those believers who, with great fervor, had come to enlist themselves in the army and were turned away by the Prophet because there was not sufficient means of transport. He related how sad and disappointed these people were at not realizing their desire to go on the path of Jihad and sacrifice for the sake of Islam. Julas' response was sharp and shocking.
"If Muhammad is true in claiming that he is a Prophet ," he shouted angrily, "then we are all worse than donkeys."
Umayr was flabbergasted. He could not believe what he had heard. He did not think that a man as intelligent as Julas could have uttered such words, words which put him instantly outside the pale of faith.
A host of questions paced through his mind and he immediately began to consider what action he should take. He saw in Julas' silence and his tardiness to respond to the Prophet's call, clear signs of a traitor to God and His Prophet, who wanted to bring harm to Islam in just the same way as the munafiqun who were plotting and conspiring against the Prophet. At the same time he saw a man who had treated him as a father and who was kind and generous to him, who had taken him as an orphan and had saved him from poverty.
Umayr had to choose between preserving this close relationship with Julas on the one hand and dealing with his treachery and hypocrisy on the other.
The choice was painful but his decision was swift. He turned to Julas and said:
"By God, O Julas, there is no one on the face of the earth, after Muhammad (SAW), dearer to me than you. You are the closest of men to me and you have been most generous to me. But you have uttered words which, if I should mention them will expose and humiliate you. If I conceal them, however, I will be a traitor to my trust and destroy myself and my religion. I will, therefore, go to the Messenger of God, peace be upon him, and tell him what you have said. It is up to you to clarify your position."
IN FRONT OF THE PROPHET{PBUH}
The Prophet, peace be on him, turned to Umayr and saw his flushed face and the tears streaming down his cheeks. Umayr prayed:
"O Lord, send down a revelation on Your Prophet to verify what I have told him." Julas meanwhile continued to defend what he had said: "What I have told you, O Messenger of God, is certainly the truth. If you wish, make us swear an oath in your presence. I swear by God that I did not say anything of the sort that Umayr reported to you."
As the companions turned to Umayr to hear what he had to say, they saw the Prophet come under a special mood of serenity and they realized that he was being inspired. Immediately there was complete silence as they gazed intently at the Prophet in anticipation.
At this point, fear and terror gripped Julas and he began to look tremulously at Umayr. The Prophet, having received the revelation, recited the words of God:
"(The hypocrites) swear by God that they have said (nothing wrong); yet most certainly they have uttered a saying which is a denial of the truth, and have thus denied the truth after having professed their self-surrender to God; for they were aiming at something which was beyond their reach. And they could find no fault (with the Faith) save that God had enriched them and (caused) His Apostle to enrich them out of His bounty. Hence, if they repent, it will be for their own good; but if they turn away, God will cause them to suffer a grievous suffering in this world and in the life to come and they will find no helper on earth, and none to give them succour." (The Quran, Surah at-Tawbah, 9:74).
Julas trembled with fear at what he heard and in his anguish, could hardly speak. Finally, he turned to the Prophet and said: "I do repent, O Messenger of God. I do repent. Umayr told the truth and I lied. I beseech God to accept my repentance..."
The Prophet turned to the young Umayr. Tears of joy moistened his youthful face, radiant with the light of faith. With his noble hand, the Prophet tenderly took his ear and said:
"Young man, your ear has been true in what it heard and your Lord has confirmed the truth of what you said." Julas returned to the fold of Islam and was a good and faithful Muslim thereafter. The companions realized that by his generosity and good treatment of Umayr, he had reformed. Whenever Umayr was mentioned, Julas would say:
Umayr was well looked after by Julas and loved him as a son would love a father. Indeed he began to forget that he was an orphan. As Umayr grew older, Julas fondness and love for him grew. Julas would marvel at the intelligence he displayed in everything he did and at the honesty and trustworthiness which characterized his behavior.
One day, shortly before the army was due to set out, the young Umayr ibn Sad returned home after performing Salat in the mosque. He was all agog with excitement. He had just witnessed the great generosity and the spontaneous spirit of sacrifice which the Muslims displayed in preparing for the expedition. He had seen women of the Muhajirin and the Ansar donating their jewellery and their ornaments to buy provisions and equipment for the army. He had seen Uthman ibn Affan handing over a purse containing a thousand gold dinars to the Prophet and Abdur Rahman ibn Awl carrying on his shoulders two hundred awqiyyah of gold and placing it before the noble Prophet. Indeed he had even seen a man trying to sell his bed in order to purchase a sword for himself.
At home, he recalled these moving and inspiring scenes. He was surprised however that Julas was so slow in preparing for the expedition with the Prophet and at his delay in contributing especially since he was quite rich and could afford to give generously. Umayr felt that he had to arouse his ardor or stir his sense of generosity and manliness. So with great enthusiasm he related what he had seen and heard at the mosque particularly the case of those believers who, with great fervor, had come to enlist themselves in the army and were turned away by the Prophet because there was not sufficient means of transport. He related how sad and disappointed these people were at not realizing their desire to go on the path of Jihad and sacrifice for the sake of Islam. Julas' response was sharp and shocking.
"If Muhammad is true in claiming that he is a Prophet ," he shouted angrily, "then we are all worse than donkeys."
Umayr was flabbergasted. He could not believe what he had heard. He did not think that a man as intelligent as Julas could have uttered such words, words which put him instantly outside the pale of faith.
A host of questions paced through his mind and he immediately began to consider what action he should take. He saw in Julas' silence and his tardiness to respond to the Prophet's call, clear signs of a traitor to God and His Prophet, who wanted to bring harm to Islam in just the same way as the munafiqun who were plotting and conspiring against the Prophet. At the same time he saw a man who had treated him as a father and who was kind and generous to him, who had taken him as an orphan and had saved him from poverty.
Umayr had to choose between preserving this close relationship with Julas on the one hand and dealing with his treachery and hypocrisy on the other.
The choice was painful but his decision was swift. He turned to Julas and said:
"By God, O Julas, there is no one on the face of the earth, after Muhammad (SAW), dearer to me than you. You are the closest of men to me and you have been most generous to me. But you have uttered words which, if I should mention them will expose and humiliate you. If I conceal them, however, I will be a traitor to my trust and destroy myself and my religion. I will, therefore, go to the Messenger of God, peace be upon him, and tell him what you have said. It is up to you to clarify your position."
IN FRONT OF THE PROPHET{PBUH}
The Prophet, peace be on him, turned to Umayr and saw his flushed face and the tears streaming down his cheeks. Umayr prayed:
"O Lord, send down a revelation on Your Prophet to verify what I have told him." Julas meanwhile continued to defend what he had said: "What I have told you, O Messenger of God, is certainly the truth. If you wish, make us swear an oath in your presence. I swear by God that I did not say anything of the sort that Umayr reported to you."
As the companions turned to Umayr to hear what he had to say, they saw the Prophet come under a special mood of serenity and they realized that he was being inspired. Immediately there was complete silence as they gazed intently at the Prophet in anticipation.
At this point, fear and terror gripped Julas and he began to look tremulously at Umayr. The Prophet, having received the revelation, recited the words of God:
"(The hypocrites) swear by God that they have said (nothing wrong); yet most certainly they have uttered a saying which is a denial of the truth, and have thus denied the truth after having professed their self-surrender to God; for they were aiming at something which was beyond their reach. And they could find no fault (with the Faith) save that God had enriched them and (caused) His Apostle to enrich them out of His bounty. Hence, if they repent, it will be for their own good; but if they turn away, God will cause them to suffer a grievous suffering in this world and in the life to come and they will find no helper on earth, and none to give them succour." (The Quran, Surah at-Tawbah, 9:74).
Julas trembled with fear at what he heard and in his anguish, could hardly speak. Finally, he turned to the Prophet and said: "I do repent, O Messenger of God. I do repent. Umayr told the truth and I lied. I beseech God to accept my repentance..."
The Prophet turned to the young Umayr. Tears of joy moistened his youthful face, radiant with the light of faith. With his noble hand, the Prophet tenderly took his ear and said:
"Young man, your ear has been true in what it heard and your Lord has confirmed the truth of what you said." Julas returned to the fold of Islam and was a good and faithful Muslim thereafter. The companions realized that by his generosity and good treatment of Umayr, he had reformed. Whenever Umayr was mentioned, Julas would say:
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
Abu Talhah reached Umm Sulaym's house. He asked and was given permission to enter. Her son Anas was present. Abu Talhah explained why he had come and asked for her hand in marriage.
"A man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned away. But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir, an unbeliever."
Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps she had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential. He said to her:
"What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?"
"Gold and silver?" she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly censuring tone. "Yes," he said. "I swear to you, Abu Talhah, and I swear to God and His Messenger that if you accept Islam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance of Islam as my mahr."
Abu Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His mind turned to the idol he had made from wood and on which he lavished great attention in the same way that important men of his tribe venerated and cared for their personal idols.
The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility of such idol worship and she went on: "Don't you know Abu Talhah, that the god you worship besides Allah grew from the earth?" "That's true," he said.
"Don't you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree while you use the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? (If you should give up these foolish beliefs and practices) and become a Muslim, Abu Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who shall instruct me in Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall," Umm Sulaym replied. "How?"
"Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Then go to your house, destroy your idol and throw it away."
Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had said. He came back to her beaming with happiness.
"I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is no god but Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased and the Muslims would say: "We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islam her mahr."
Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husband who placed his unique energies and talents in the service of Islam. He was one of the seventy three men who swore allegiance to the Prophet at the second Pledge of Aqabah. With him, according to on e report, was his wife Umm Sulaym. Two other women, the celebrated Nusaybah bint Kab and Asma bint Amr witnessed Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the Prophet.
Abu Talhah was devoted to the Prophet and took enormous delight in simply looking at him and listening to the sweetness of his speech. He participated in all the major military campaigns. He lived a very ascetic life and was known to fast for long periods at a time. It is said that he had a fantastic orchard in Madinah with date palms and grapes and running water. One day while he was performing Salat in the shade of the trees, a beautiful bird with brightly colored plumage flew in front of him. He became engrossed in the scene and forgot how many rakats he had prayed. Two? Three? When he completed the Prayer he went to the Prophet and described how he had been distracted. In the end, he said: "Bear witness, Messenger of Allah, that I hand over this orcha rd as a charity for the sake of Allah, the Exalted."
Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an exemplary Muslim family life, devoted to the Prophet and the service of Muslims and Islam
"A man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned away. But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir, an unbeliever."
Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps she had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential. He said to her:
"What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?"
"Gold and silver?" she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly censuring tone. "Yes," he said. "I swear to you, Abu Talhah, and I swear to God and His Messenger that if you accept Islam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance of Islam as my mahr."
Abu Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His mind turned to the idol he had made from wood and on which he lavished great attention in the same way that important men of his tribe venerated and cared for their personal idols.
The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility of such idol worship and she went on: "Don't you know Abu Talhah, that the god you worship besides Allah grew from the earth?" "That's true," he said.
"Don't you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree while you use the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? (If you should give up these foolish beliefs and practices) and become a Muslim, Abu Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who shall instruct me in Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall," Umm Sulaym replied. "How?"
"Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Then go to your house, destroy your idol and throw it away."
Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had said. He came back to her beaming with happiness.
"I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is no god but Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased and the Muslims would say: "We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islam her mahr."
Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husband who placed his unique energies and talents in the service of Islam. He was one of the seventy three men who swore allegiance to the Prophet at the second Pledge of Aqabah. With him, according to on e report, was his wife Umm Sulaym. Two other women, the celebrated Nusaybah bint Kab and Asma bint Amr witnessed Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the Prophet.
Abu Talhah was devoted to the Prophet and took enormous delight in simply looking at him and listening to the sweetness of his speech. He participated in all the major military campaigns. He lived a very ascetic life and was known to fast for long periods at a time. It is said that he had a fantastic orchard in Madinah with date palms and grapes and running water. One day while he was performing Salat in the shade of the trees, a beautiful bird with brightly colored plumage flew in front of him. He became engrossed in the scene and forgot how many rakats he had prayed. Two? Three? When he completed the Prayer he went to the Prophet and described how he had been distracted. In the end, he said: "Bear witness, Messenger of Allah, that I hand over this orcha rd as a charity for the sake of Allah, the Exalted."
Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an exemplary Muslim family life, devoted to the Prophet and the service of Muslims and Islam
Diane, it is common situation that people reject Islam based on certain rulings they do not like. This is a test of faith and if you have faith then you will be tested. Islam is essentially two things: aqeedah & sharia'a (the faith and the law). The faith should be your first step and it will prepare you for the law. The law is basically the way Allah SWT wants us to live, and in this world this will mean tests and tribulations.
I see your points about the marriage/kids ..etc. However, they are not her top priority although they are fairly high on it. One of the prophet's (pbuh) daughters was in a similar situation to that of Shaya. This is a link to her story:
http://www.daralislaamlive.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=210&Itemid=1
AZAM_SIDDIQUI
Junior Member
Book 42, Number 7078: {MUSLIM}
- Status