divorce

[kenyanlady]

Assalam aleikum,i was married in 2006 september,n on 24th december ma husband asked me to leave his home.this was because he brought home his 17 year old illegitemate daughter n wanted me to live with her.a daughter who didnt tell me before marriage dat she existed.when i told him i cant not live with his daughter he asked me to leave.i left when i was 1 month pregnant.went back to ma parents house,ever since he has not asked about me nor has he come to his his baby.shes now 15 months old.ma family takes care of us.ma questions to u is does he even care about his kid,cause now i took im to de kadhis court n am asking for ma divorce which hes fighting it.hes living with another woman now n says he wants us back.did i do anything wrong asking for ma divorce?i cant go back to him cause he has not been there for me nor his kid.hes living as if our baby doesnt exists,even when he hears shes sick he doesnt even call to ask about her.please ma brothers if u know your not ready to be a husband dont marry and destroy someones life.its so hard for a woman to go through all i went.i thank God for giving me caring family and friends.

 

[Amanda.Green]

Advice for divorce

I am so sorry to here about your situation. My father left my family when I was 6, to be with other women (non-muslim). I can tell you that sometimes even with all the pray's in the world Allah has plans that do not included some people. If you feel that you need to divorce him and that you don't ever want to reconcial with him, and/or allow your child to know him, I would do it fast before the daughter is two and starts asking questions. I hope that Allah gives you strength in this matter and you feel free with whatever path you decide to walk.

الحُب أعْمى ( Love is blind)

Amanda

 

[revert-sister]

please be strong sister Allah will give you a great reward for your suffreings.
and inshallah you get your devorce if thats what you want.

all the best

 

[yameenahmed]

walaikum salam sister first i want to thank you for the advice you have given for all brothers and i want to say you other thing too please keep faith in allah[swt] and take what ever step you want to take but check it out weather your husband has really changed are he is playing a track are so please do according to your family wish

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

Sister, divorce is permitted in Islam. Since your husband did not provide and care for his wife and child then I can't see how you did anything wrong. I am so sorry he has broken your heart and treated you this way. Ishallah you way will be easier and Allah will provide a safe haven for you to go to.

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[palestine]

This is truly sad. Hang on sister and do what you think is best for you and your child. you're a strong woman, don't let anyone make you think less of yourself ukhti. InshaAllah Allah will provide you and your baby as he has before. Asalamu alaykum wrwb. and take care.

 

[muhsinah]

Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullah, sister.

This is really unfortunate. May Allah help you. Alhamdulillah you had the support of your family and friends and, most importantly, the help of Allah.

As for giving our advice/opinions, I believe we shouldn't jump to conclusions from hearing a summary of the occurences. We don't know the whole story so anything we say will be biased and mostly out of emotion.

Sister, you need not have moved out because you've only just found out about his daughter. Yes, he was wrong in not telling you beforehand but at least he was trying to be a responsible father by taking care of his daughter. Sister, marriages will always have problems, big and small. what marks successful marriages is how the couple deal with each conflict as it arises.

Why don't you give him a chance? Talk to him, reason with him and forgive him if he shows remorse and signs of improvements. He was probably ignoring you out of anger at your leaving him. You didn't tell us whether you gave him an ultimatum of choosing between you and your daughter. If you did, that may have been why he chose his daughter in the hopes that you were bluffing. Besides, what were your objections to living with his daughter? Maybe he didn't feel that the reasons were important enough.

You guys were together a very short time...you probably hadn't gotten used to each other's personalities yet and were thus unable to settle this issue amicably. Before you act, look at the situation objectively and decide on the appropriate course of action with an open mind considering whether you may have made mistakes which might have contributed to the problem. We do not know the whole story but you do. Think long and hard and try to find the source/cause of the problem and how it can be rectified. May Allah be with you always.

Wa salam.

 

[kenyanlady]

thank you so much for ur thought,but i did give him so many chances to talk but he says hes always busy.i know is gonna be hard for ma baby to grow up without her father in her life but i feel i did all ma best to make him part of her life,i tried to calling him n putting ma baby on de phone to talk to her dad,at times he would hang up on her.this is not what i want for ma baby and maself.but i cant fight with him anymore.its better to leave him have thhe life he wants.living with a woman dat hes not married to.and i dont want ma baby to feel that her dad has rejected her.its best this way for all of us

 

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

Its sad to hear about your situation sister if i was you i would go to your local masqid and ask your imam or to look for a fatwa about divorce and its implications before you go forward with anything i would advice you to seek and educate yourself on the rights and prohibitions of divorce because it is a very serious situation. Allah knows best.

I ask Allah to help you through your affairs and i ask Allah to make it easy for you Ameen :tti_sister:

 

[webzaheer]

waliakum assalam.

Be strong Ukhti..
Have patience and faith in Allah.
My Allah give you more strength and Patience to handle the situation.
Pray for the guidance of Allah Subhana wa tala.