Do you need a smile ?

brighten

brighten

seeker of knowledge
:salam2:

My nerve is a little frayed today and I need a little humour to perk me up. I hope you enjoy this as much as i do. Have a nice day !

~~~~~~~~

Islamic Humour
~~~~~~~~~

Nasruddin Goes Fishing

One day, Mullah Nasruddin decided to go fishing. He called upon his good friend Rabbi Moishe, got their poles and bait together, rented a small rowboat at the local harbor, and off to sea they went.

After an amazing afternoon of fishing, the two men had caught thirty fish. An elated Mullah Nasruddin said to Rabbi Moishel, "Better mark this spot so we can come here tomorrow!"

The next day Mullah Nasruddin met up with Rabbi Moishe at the rental harbor for another day of fishing.

"Did you mark the spot?" Mullah Nasruddin asked Rabbi Moishe confidentially.

"Of couse," replied Rabbi Moishe, "I painted a big white X on the bottom of the rowboat."

"You fool!" Shouted Mullah Nasruddin and slapped his forehead, "What if we can't rent that same boat today?!?!?"

:eek: :fighta:

~~~~~~~~

Nasruddin's Conversation

Mullah Nasruddin was walking down a street when he bumps into Umar Abdullah, a convert/revert to Islam.

"Salam-Alaikum brother Umar!" Mullah Nasruddin said excitedly.

"Alaikum-salam, brother!" replied Umar.

"I have this question I have been wanting to ask you for a LONG LONG time, and now, since you are here, may I ask it?"

"Go ahead, brother, you may." replied Umar.

"When you became a Muslim, did you cry?"

"Indeed I did." replied Umar.

"ME TOO! ME TOO!" exclaimed Mullah Nasruddin excitedly.

"When did you become Muslim?" asked Umar curiously.

"When I was born!" Mullah Nasruddin replied proudly.

:SMILY105:

~~~~~~~~~

If Allah Wills

Nasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. One day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, "If Allah is willing."

He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan :astag: . The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.

Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.

But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.

Having finished only half the field, at the sunset he set out for home exhausted and soaking wet. The river was still high so he had to wait until long past dark to cross over.

After midnight a very wet but much wiser Nasruddin knocked at his door. Who is there Asked his wife.

He replied, "I think it is me, Nasruddin, if Allah is willing!"

:SMILY149: :SMILY27:
 
samiha

samiha

---------
Staff member
:salam2:

Jazakallah Khair for these.

I have a small book of his stories. I remember one....
______________________________________________________________

Mullah Nasruddin wanted to build a house on his plot of land, but since he was short of money he decided to borrow it from another man. The man lent the money willingly and the 2-story house was built. After the house was built the loaner demanded that he be given the upper story since Mullah had borrowed his money.

Mullah agreed unwillingly. After some time he went out and returned with a pickaxe, quickly he began hacking at the wall of the 1st story. The loaner looked out the window and said, "Mullah what are you doing? The noise is very loud!"

So Mullah replied, “Oh, don’t worry, I am only breaking down my part of the house, you can go back to sleep!”

The man quickly said, “BUT then my family would fall down to the lower story!”

“No, no it’s fine, I’m only breaking down my half of this house.” Mullah explained.

The man, taking Mullah for a madman, quickly ushered his family out of the house.
______________________________________________________________

Maybe there’s something else but I don’t remember…… :girl3: maybe I’ll find that book.

:wasalam:
 
S

Serafeddin

New Member
:salam2: I have not heard one of those Mullah Nasruddin stories since i was little. Thanks for the laugh, even today it cracks me up
 
samiha

samiha

---------
Staff member
Some more of Nasruddin...... enjoy

:salam2:


Nasruddin's Clever Wife
Mullah Nasruddin was standing outside the mosque after prayer. He had told his wife to meet him outside of the door, but after fifteen minutes she had not shown. He saw his friend Jafar coming out of the door.
"salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Jafar replied, and walked upon his way.

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw his friend Nabil walk out of the door.

"Salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Nabil replied, and walked upon his way.

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen more minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw the Imam coming out the door. The Imam locked the mosque door behind him.

"Salam Alaikum Sheikh," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I am looking for my wife. Do you by chance, know where she went?"

"I'm sorry, no one is left in the Mosque," replied the Imam, "All have gone for the night." and he walked upon his way.

Full of anger, Mullah Nasruddin walked home alone. When he got there, his wife was standing outside the door.


Nasruddin and His Donkey
Rabbi Moishe, in need of a donkey, went around to Mullah Nasruddin's farm to ask him if he could borrow his donkey for a day or two.
Mullah Nasruddin came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey.

Just as Mullah Nasruddin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, Rabbi Moishe gave him an accusing look, to which Mullah Nasruddin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."


Modern Times it seems...

Nasruddin's Car Drive
Mullah Nasruddin and his wife are in their car driving.

Suddenly his wife screams, "STOP THE CAR!!!"

"What is it?" Mullah Nasruddin asks.

"Turn around and go back home!! I forgot to turn off the oven!! The house will burn down!!!"

Mullah Nasruddin kept on driving.

"Why aren't you turning around?"

"The house won't burn down..." Mullah Nasruddin replied. "...I forgot to turn off the shower."


The Train Journey
Rabbi Moishe, Mullah Nasruddin and a Nun were sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Jerusalem.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel. As it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, the Nun and Rabbi Moishe were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Mullah Nasruddin had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there.

Mullah Nasruddin was thinking: 'Rabbi Moishe, must have kissed the Nun and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

The Nun was thinking: 'Mullah Nasruddin must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed Rabbi Moishe and got a slap for it.

Rabbi Moishe was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap Mullah Nasruddin again.
:astag:

A lesson taught
Nasruddin went to a public bath. The servant didn't pay any attention and didn't serve him when Nasruddin was leaving the bath, he gave ten Dinars to the servants.The attendants were surprised and happy. Next week when he again went to the bath all the services were provided to him. Every one was having a sense of inferiority. But Nasruddin on leaving the place gave only one Dinar to them. The servants and the owner were very much bewildered and asked, "What is the reason for the uncalled bonus of last week and improper behavior this week?" Nasruddin replied, "I paid today's wage last week and last week's wage today so that you learn to behave politely with your customers!"



Lack of Time
Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came back and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, "Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn't get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn't come back. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, "Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap."



Mullah Nasrudin and the The Burglar
A thief went to Nasrudin's house and carried away almost all the possessions of the mullah to his own home. While Nasrudin had been watching from the street. After a few minutes Nasrudin took up a blanket, followed him, went in to his house, lay down and pretended to go to sleep. The thief asked Mullah, "who are you? And what are you doing in my house?" Mullah replied, "we were moving into your house, weren't we?"



A Dinner of Smells
Once, long ago, a very fine and expensive restaurant stood on a busy street in a bustling market town. One day, a poor man passed by this restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away.

But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant came storming out into the street.

"Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"

The poor man did not know what to do.

"I cannot pay!" he stammered. "I have no money!" "No money!" shouted the restaurant owner. "We'll see about that! You're coming with me to the Qadi!

A Qadi is a judge in a Muslim court. Naturally, he is very powerful, and the poor man was frightened.

"Hmm," said the Qadi, when he had heard the story. "Well, this is an unusual case. Let me think. Come back tomorrow, and I'll pronounce the sentence."

What could the poor man do? He knew whatever sum the Qadi demanded, payment would be impossible.

All night long he tossed and turned, unable to sleep for worry. When dawn came he said his prayers and, tired and dejected, made his way to the Qadi's court.

As he passed the masjid he spotted a familiar figure -- Nasrudin the Hoja. Suddenly, his heart lifted. For he knew that Nasrudin was a clever man, who was sure to be able to think of a way around the problem. He poured out his story, and Nasrudin agreed to come to the court and speak for him. The rich restaurant owner was already at the court, chatting with the Qadi. The poor man saw that they were friends, and feared the judgment would go against him.

He was right. The Qadi began heaping insults upon the poor man as soon as he saw him, and ordered him to pay a very large sum of money.

At once, Nasrudin stepped forward. "My lord," he said to the Qadi. "This man is my brother. Allow me to pay in his place."

Then the mullah took a small bag of coins from his belt an held it next to the rich man's ear. He shook the bag, so that the coins jingled.

"Can you hear that?" asked Nasrudin.

"Of course," the man replied, impatiently.

"Well, that is your payment," said the mullah. "My brother has smelled your food, and you have heard his money. The debt is paid."

And, in the face of such argument, the case was settled and the poor man went free.
 
BintMuhammad

BintMuhammad

New Member
Staff member
He's funny

here's more...

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.
- Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just

fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!

Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:

- Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nasruddin opened a booth with a sign above it:
Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins

A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying:

- A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?

- Yes, said Nasruddin, and the next question, please?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

At a gathering where Mullah Nasruddin was present, people were discussing the merits of youth and old age. They had all agreed that, a man's strength decreases as years go by. Mullah Nasruddin dissented.
- I don't agree with you gentlemen, he said. In my old age I have the same strength as I had in the prime of my youth.

- How do you mean, Mullah Nasruddin? asked somebody. Explain yourself.

- In my courtyard, explained Mullah Nasruddin, there is a massive stone. In my youth I used to try and lift it. I never succeeded. Neither can I lift it now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was the time Mullah Nasruddin's family was very poor.
One day Nasruddin 's wife woke him in the middle of the night and whispered,

- Nasruddin, There is a thief in the kitchen!

- Shhh...! replied Nasruddin. Let him be. Perhaps he find

something then we seize it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day Nasruddin repaired tiles on the roof of his house. While Nasruddin was working on the roof, a stranger knocked the door.
- What do you want? Nasruddin shouted out.

- Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it.

Nasruddin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder.

- Well! replied Nasruddin, what was the important thing?

- Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger.

Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said,

- Follow me up to the roof.

When both Nasruddin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasruddin said,

- The answer is no!
 
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