UbaydAllah
New Member
:salam2:
I don't want to turn this into a whole life story, but I have to start at the beginning to help things make more sense. My mother works as a cleaner, cleaning offices and her boss was this Muslim man.
Over the years our family and him have become very close, he took everyone in the family to get their licenses, he often gives us money, helped us buy a car etc. (Keep in my my mother and father are divorced) Mashallah, he has done so many things for us.
For the past 2 years, he has had some problems with his wife (they don't speak, she doesn't cook for him, and they have 5 kids together). He has been coming to our house for a long time, because he doesn't want to deal with things at his house.
My siblings really love him to the point that they jokingly call him father and even uncle (out of respect/culture not blood ties). He comes over to the house many times a week for about 4-5 hours watches TV and my mother cooks for him.
Sometimes I come home from university and they are alone watching TV. In some cases, they go up to my mothers room to watch TV, when my siblings want to watch TV in the living-room.
My mother locks the door when they are up there because he fears that if his wife or someone in the neighborhood finds out that he is coming to our house to blow off steam, watch TV, rumors can get started and if his wife finds out, it could be the end of their marriage. This was going on for a long time maybe 1 to 2 years.
For a long time I didn't care but, I started to follow the dean, reading Quran, praying 5 times a day and striving to be closer to Allah (my whole life I haven't been that religious and only my mother an me actually pray consistently in the family).
It bothered my so much that this man (as nice as he was) was a non-mahram, he isn't allowed to have a relationship with my mother, and the fact that she doesn't wear hijab around him, or stay's with him alone bothered me. I decided to confront her today about this. Lets, just say that everyone in my house attacked me.
They were shocked that I was accusing her of committing zina with him, even though I didn't say this. I told them the Islamic point of view and even backed up my stance with evidence from the Quran, Hadith and even scholarly opinions on the matter.
Everyone said I was being harsh and an extremist. They said that I just learned the religion and that they knew more than me and that it was her business what she did. Didn't Allah say to enjoin good and forbid evil? My mother became so angry, she cursed me and said she would never forgive me for approaching her about this and that it was her house and she could do whatever she wanted to do and that If I didn't like it I should go live with my father.
My siblings were backing her saying that the Muslim man was like family and that nothing was wrong, eventually they admitted that it was Haram and that they would continue to allow him to come over no matter what. They believe that my mother is not doing anything wrong and actually getting good deeds for helping out a stressed Muslim.
My brothers and sisters in this forum, what should I do in this situation, nobody in my family is on my side. Do I leave?, Do I talk to the Muslim man? (my mother threatened that if I spoke to him she would leave the house) Should I leave it alone? Should I lock the door if he comes? Should I tell his wife? (this could really make things worse for my family and his) What is the Islamic view on something like this and what are my obligations? THIS IS URGENT!!! Jazakallahu khairan
I don't want to turn this into a whole life story, but I have to start at the beginning to help things make more sense. My mother works as a cleaner, cleaning offices and her boss was this Muslim man.
Over the years our family and him have become very close, he took everyone in the family to get their licenses, he often gives us money, helped us buy a car etc. (Keep in my my mother and father are divorced) Mashallah, he has done so many things for us.
For the past 2 years, he has had some problems with his wife (they don't speak, she doesn't cook for him, and they have 5 kids together). He has been coming to our house for a long time, because he doesn't want to deal with things at his house.
My siblings really love him to the point that they jokingly call him father and even uncle (out of respect/culture not blood ties). He comes over to the house many times a week for about 4-5 hours watches TV and my mother cooks for him.
Sometimes I come home from university and they are alone watching TV. In some cases, they go up to my mothers room to watch TV, when my siblings want to watch TV in the living-room.
My mother locks the door when they are up there because he fears that if his wife or someone in the neighborhood finds out that he is coming to our house to blow off steam, watch TV, rumors can get started and if his wife finds out, it could be the end of their marriage. This was going on for a long time maybe 1 to 2 years.
For a long time I didn't care but, I started to follow the dean, reading Quran, praying 5 times a day and striving to be closer to Allah (my whole life I haven't been that religious and only my mother an me actually pray consistently in the family).
It bothered my so much that this man (as nice as he was) was a non-mahram, he isn't allowed to have a relationship with my mother, and the fact that she doesn't wear hijab around him, or stay's with him alone bothered me. I decided to confront her today about this. Lets, just say that everyone in my house attacked me.
They were shocked that I was accusing her of committing zina with him, even though I didn't say this. I told them the Islamic point of view and even backed up my stance with evidence from the Quran, Hadith and even scholarly opinions on the matter.
Everyone said I was being harsh and an extremist. They said that I just learned the religion and that they knew more than me and that it was her business what she did. Didn't Allah say to enjoin good and forbid evil? My mother became so angry, she cursed me and said she would never forgive me for approaching her about this and that it was her house and she could do whatever she wanted to do and that If I didn't like it I should go live with my father.
My siblings were backing her saying that the Muslim man was like family and that nothing was wrong, eventually they admitted that it was Haram and that they would continue to allow him to come over no matter what. They believe that my mother is not doing anything wrong and actually getting good deeds for helping out a stressed Muslim.
My brothers and sisters in this forum, what should I do in this situation, nobody in my family is on my side. Do I leave?, Do I talk to the Muslim man? (my mother threatened that if I spoke to him she would leave the house) Should I leave it alone? Should I lock the door if he comes? Should I tell his wife? (this could really make things worse for my family and his) What is the Islamic view on something like this and what are my obligations? THIS IS URGENT!!! Jazakallahu khairan