finding marriage remains difficult

[Butterfly01]

i am familiar of the hadith that says if a man finds one bad quality in his wife, she would have a good quality to replace the bad one. i believe that saying is true, but what if there are 10 bad qualities? my happiness is also important.
:salam2:
in a manner of speaking we say one sth, so in this hadith one bad quality is just an example no one have only one or3 bad quality, the meaning of this hadith is we all have bad and good qualities...so this is how i think, to live in prosperity and hapiness, don't criticise, look to these bad qualities like if they were good, when you love someone it's not only for his beauty or good qualities...
keep your patiences and inshaAllah things would get better.
p.s: no one is perfect exept Allah subhanahowata3ala

 

[nizar83]

aselemu aleikum,

i try to be very understanding to the brothers as well as sisters.
but these subjects and stories really lower my moral.
mashallah, you can plan whatever you want, its all written.try to find comfort in that!
also the people who say im a good muslim or i have been living a better life than others..and still other couples i see them very happy THATS NONSENSE
only ALLAH ta3ala knows all our acts!

im single myself, and its good that you have ideals on how ur future wife should be inshallah...but remember...you cant ask for anything in a woman..if you cant bring that same quality to the table!

many brothers rule out all of the sisters simply because their not wearing hijaab..what is this nonsense about?? where does ALLAH ta3ala say dont marry muslims women if they dont wear hijaab?/ imagine the reward a man gets for explaining his wife why hijaab is to be worn by women.
mashallah, we have pity for ourselves , and we forget that ALLAH ta3ala is the most mercifull!

inshallah every muslim and muslima get what they need on this dunia!

waselemu aleikum

 

[nizar83]

by the way..if i read 2 more posts like this from dissappointed men..im probably going to ask my mother to hook me up with a decent muslima inshallah haha..im not cool with too many dissapp + you can pick all week long..you wont get to know ur spouse untill ur married..so its wiser to make du3as..instead of changing into a detective

i can understand the sisters who cant find a decent muslim man..for them its even harder..they cant go out and knock on a door saying i would like to marry ur son...so we as men should remember that!
sabr is key 2 success

 

[Proud_2b_Muslim]

:salam2:
it is a big problem in my opinion , specially for my , because I am living in an arabic Muslim country but I couldn`t find the right woman or to be honest the woman that when I see her I feel comfort , I went to many houses to see girls ( ofcourse for marriage ) but these days its hard to find a good muslim girl that fear Allah ( with all my respect ) , she is muslim but act like a non muslim , they always wear makeup , they wear a weird hijab that have a bump in the back of the head , I see that the western people are practicing islam better than alot of arabic muslim people , I have been looking for the right wife for two years , actually I found a nice girl , my mom and my sister liked her and they was encouraging me , first I had doubts about her look but she was beautiful but not the type I like and I accept it but her family were very rude to me , they didnt mean to be rude but they were , I couldn`t stand the rudeness of her family , I was so frustrated for a week after I met them , I also prey istikhara but there was no use of it , I mean it didnt help me to like the idea or not , finally I decided to refuse and the next day I felt soooooo relaxed because from the beginning I wanted to marry a western lady and make her to turn to islam but it`s hard to be sure that she will convert and then I accept to marry a girl from Kuwait (my country) and now it`s my dream to marry a wester woman who converted to islam but all of them are living here with their husband , I think maybe I will travel to America or UK to find the wife of my dreams and marry her then bring her back to Kuwait , I hope that we all live happily and find the wife/husband of our dream , thanks for opening this discussion , I really wanted to express my self

 

[Bawar]

Assalamu alaikum brother Proud 2be Muslim!

With all due respect, I think you are too picky and sensitive towards very minor things.

You mentioned some kind of bumps in the hijab of the girls that you went to see for marriage. Honestly, It made me laugh and upset too.

Why is it such a big deal? What do you expect her to be? Being too critical of the clothes is not a good idea.

It is a good thinking to marry a reverted lady because as someone mentioned, not all reverted sisters/brothes will be able to find a reverted spouse and thus should not be left without marriage.

But to suggest that there is not even one proper muslim girl in Kuwait to get married to is laughable.

I hope you won't be upset. I hate myself to criticise people, but here we go, I did it.

Barakallahu feek dear brother and may Allah bless you with a pious wife. Ameen

 

[Proud_2b_Muslim]

Assalamu alaikum brother Proud 2be Muslim!

With all due respect, I think you are too picky and sensitive towards very minor things.

You mentioned some kind of bumps in the hijab of the girls that you went to see for marriage. Honestly, It made me laugh and upset too.

Why is it such a big deal? What do you expect her to be? Being too critical of the clothes is not a good idea.

It is a good thinking to marry a reverted lady because as someone mentioned, not all reverted sisters/brothes will be able to find a reverted spouse and thus should not be left without marriage.

But to suggest that there is not even one proper muslim girl in Kuwait to get married to is laughable.

I hope you won't be upset. I hate myself to criticise people, but here we go, I did it.

Barakallahu feek dear brother and may Allah bless you with a pious wife. Ameen

:salam2:
I am not picky and I dont think that you understand me , I mean with the bump that it is a new fashion that they put something inside the back of their hijab ( I dont know how to describe it but its like if their brain coming out of the back of their heads ) that`s haram and there is hadith mentioned then and describe the like the back of a camel , I just wish to find the ideal woman for me

 

[Bawar]

:salam2: brother!

I am sorry dear brother. I can see you have the purest of intentions and I apologise if i misunderstood you.

The discription of the hijab that you gave was not so illustrative. You might be right. It may only have the name of hijab and might be something that doesnt even cover the essential parts of the body which should be covered.

Anyways, i do pray to Allah ta'ala to grant all my dear brothers and sisters the best and most pious spouses. Ameen

 

[Proud_2b_Muslim]

:salam2:
thanks brother , your are so polite and there is no reason you say sorry thanks brother for your prayer

 

[summertime]

the bump is probably the girls bun she ties in her hair...all girls do that..nothing wrong with it...it helps the end of ur hijab sit on her head properly...

 

[ShyHijabi]

the bump is probably the girls bun she ties in her hair...all girls do that..nothing wrong with it...it helps the end of ur hijab sit on her head properly...

Salaam,

I used to wrap my hair in a bun before putting on hijab but it's such a nusance when you want to lean your head back while driving or sitting on a highback chair. Finally one day I let my braid fall and tucked it under my shirt...ahh bliss. Been doing that ever since.

I have read the hadith about the women's heads looking like camel backs and I will do some research to see if their was a symbolic meaning to it ot if it was literal. Because frankly I didn't know it was bad and simpy wanted to make sure my hair was properly covered...and I didn't know any other way to hide it except by tying it in a bun. Some brothers ought to remember that not everyone is perfectly versed in the finer points of hadith before judging a sister for the way her hijab sits on her head.

Wasalaam
~Sarah

 

[Proud_2b_Muslim]

:salam2:
sisters , they are not doing it to cover their hair , I mean not the hijab is the only reason there are more reasons for me I didnt find the right wife , there is plucking eyebrows , makeup and there is a new bad thing is that they sit in cafe where they smoke shisha (I think its called hookah in english) infront of guys , anyway I ask God that her guide them and everyone to the right way and give me a good wife , say Amen

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

Attend a matrimonial event (usually held by the masjids). Also be patient.

May Allah swt give each and everyone of us a lifelong partner.

 

[ja_tu_miluju]

:salam2:
i want to state very clearly that if a muslim woman isn’t wearing hijab, i automatically rule her out.
nyerekareem

I have to say brother, I respect you for this. I too have seen how many Muslim women do not wear hijab, and others that dress very immodestly...It is good of you to have set ur standards so...things may be discouraging now, but never give up, and never, ever lower your standards...

I wish you luck brother.

 

[Musulmanin]

I have to say brother, I respect you for this. I too have seen how many Muslim women do not wear hijab, and others that dress very immodestly...It is good of you to have set ur standards so...things may be discouraging now, but never give up, and never, ever lower your standards...

I wish you luck brother.

:salam2:

I agree with "ja_tu_miluju." Stick to your standards, they are according to Islam. I too would rule out a girl without hijab. Be patient brother, there are good sisters out there who are looking for brothers like you inshAllah.

 

[warda A]

the bump is probably the girls bun she ties in her hair...all girls do that..nothing wrong with it...it helps the end of ur hijab sit on her head properly...

:salam2:

you are right sister, some girls have long hair down their backs, of course they will tie it in a bun ,how can you wear hijab and your hair is hanging out?

Finally one day I let my braid fall and tucked it under my shirt...ahh bliss.

sister shy hijab you could be right too but, imagine 42degree Celsius,it would make you itch.

and the hump the brother is talking about is when you tie you hair into a bun but, on top of the head, not the back.
we all tie our hair at the back into a bun make it easier and oh bliss lolz, unless you have very short hair that is.

 

[Proud_2b_Muslim]

thanks for standing at my side and explaining what I mean