Give me Ideas Please

[dilek]

Assalam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuh

Some sisters and brothers asked about how to invite others to Islam.. my problem is different a bit :S

Alhamdullah all the people around me are muslim however, even if they belive in Islam, they dont pray or they dont behave according to Islam.. As I believe the most imporatnt thing is praying 5 times in a day because this keeps the idea of emaan and Allah in our minds..

Therefore I want to learn how I can make others (my friends and even some member of my family ) to pray 5 times in the day.. How should I approach and speak with them to give the idea of pray? Please really so many people that I love dont pray and that makes me so sad

 

[dilek]

Thanks brother such things can work with kids ,inshaallah I ll write this idea to somewhere and I ll use it when I get married and have kids
however I am speaking about adults.. they know many thing about Islam but you know, fault in action I am a teacher and my friends are mostly teachers, I can not say such tricks to them

Additionally my own sister doesnt pray, we spoke with her so many times and she started and gave up, started and gave up... and now totally stopped praying and she is a university student, I cant say her "take that money and pray "

 

[dilek]

Thank you very much ya brother Ayman1.. you are right.. I should know what are their reasons first.. I will work like a detective

Inshallah I will be patient and never give up reminding them..

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Thank you very much ya brother Ayman1.. you are right.. I should know what are their reasons first.. I will work like a detective

Inshallah I will be patient and never give up reminding them..

:salam2:

haha .. sister undercover huh ?

Also, remember to pray for them at the times when dua is accepted readily by Allah swt. Dua while is sujood, in tahajjud prayers , before breaking your fast.

Ask Allah swt to give guidance to the said person and open his heart to the truth and not lead him/her astray, Verily guidance comes from Allah swt.

You have good intentions sister. Insha'Allah you will be rewarded for it and be successful in it. Ameen

Also remember the nature of certain people, they would rather be with people who 'take them as they are' (western thought) than someone who calls them to right guidance and corrects them. So don't be disheartened by this nature if you come across it, always keep reminding yourself of your objective and renew your niyyah (intentions) often.

 

[Tabassum07]

A third person may think that they have already missed too many prayers so it's a hopeless case for them. Tell them that they can always start now and make up for the lost prayers gradually, such as pray one missed prayer after each regular one.

Oh, this is what I do! Being a born muslim, but practically similar to a revert, I realized I had around 10 years of life where I didn't pray regularly, except on Fridays and sometimes Maghrib and in Ramadan. Having no way to figure out how many prayers were missed, I embarked on a personal project to pray 1 missed prayer after every regular prayer and try to complete 10 years worth. At first it seemed impossible, but next month will complete my 1 year since I started the project - 1 years completed life prayer! It seems sooo easy now. I try to tell this to others in my family, but they say its too hard.

 

[a_muslimah86]

:salam2:

ukhti I don't recommend you *talk*..I have tried this method with many..and many have used it with others..even if it works..it gives a *temporary* result..that's if you don't get a *mental mute* put on you while you're *speaking*..because everyone thinks you're being a *preaching shaikha!*

so make your da'awa in an indirect way..how?

use the works of scholars and researchers..emails..weekly verses..lectures..tv shows..things of the sort..use technology and literature..don't say anything..don't elaborate..just *send* and *forward* things..and don't *belittle* the miracle of *dua'a* along with all that effort..

I'll tell you why I recommend this method...

I used this method on my eldest brother..he didn't pray..though I taught him how to..spoke to him about its relevance..and always tried to *talk* him into praying again..but he never listened..in-fact many times he would *mock me* for *preaching Islam* so much (sobhanallah!)..so I got to investigating him for months..I found out that he checks-out books from the library constantly and reads them all the time (he's a quite guy so it's hard to find out what he's up to lol)..and I found out that he in particular has a *fascination* with *the afterlife*..*religion-wise*...that's when I was like *AHA!..Allah brought this as a favor for me!*..so one day I was like..*hey Ahmad check this book out..it's so cool!* (it was a simplified book about death and the afterlife inspired by Ibn Al-Qayyim's book *Kitabu Ar-Rooh*)..and I sent him a link of it without telling him what it's about..and I made sure it's..*authentic*..*short* and not a *fiqh dense* one by reading it first..he read it and finished it on the same night (he was *that* interested)..and he told me that he was intrigued..and I left it at that..and didn't bring it up or say anything about it..but I kept it in mind...so I sent him a few more links about paradise..hell..questioning in the grave..etc...and for a week..he was asking me questions non-stop

less than 2 weeks into that process..he came and asked me to double check his pronounciations of surahs and supplications because he wanted to pray..and mashallah..tabaraka Allah..he has not missed a prayer *since!*..he even asked me about after prayer supplicaitons..and other ibadaat that he can do..and he's so alert about prayer..that he schedules his whooole day around it..if he misses one even if due to an uncontrolable circumstance..he *paces* and acts as if the world has ended (mashallah!)..not only that..but he even began talking to my brothers about prayer..and my parents too..telling them that life is short and they should try to meet Allah the best way they can..so he's making da'awa for them too!..wallahi he'd become more punctual about prayers than I am..and if he comes out of his room at the time of prayer and sees me sitting or in the kitchen he asks me *did you pray yet?!*..or if he doesn't see me he asks if I am gone to pray..so he's looking-out for me as well..though I was the one who set out to get him to do it in the first place..mashallah!

That was a method for a younger person..let me give you my method with my mom..

my mom is very egotistical..and when I used to tell her about the importance of prayer..she would not hear it *from me*..she would tell me *who's the mother here?*..*are you going to raise me now?* (I know..a strange logic..but sobhanallah..what can be done?..it's her nature)..so I thought..perhaps my talking to her *does* cause her offense..so again..I investigated..and found out that she is enjoys watching shows by a couple shaikhs on tv..so I took advantage of the dvr option on our tv receiver and would record these shows..and *purposely* watch them when she's in the living room..and if she's in the kitchen which is nearby..I play them..super loud..so she'd hear..even if I have watched the shows already..I would watch them again for the sake of the goal..my mother alhamdulillah has a heart that softens when it hears the words of Allah or Rasulullah (saaws)..which was a *major benfit* for her and I..so I took advantage of that..and when the shaikh quotes either sources..I would jump in with an elaborative ayah..hadith..or story..and tell her things like *oh mom can you imagine all the dua'as that would be answered for the family if you say them in your sojood?!*..*can you imagine all the success that would come for my brothers and I if you make dua'a for us when you pray?*..thus using *sentiment* to help the words resignate in her heart deeper and making it so her *realizations* were inspired by the shaikhs she watched..and not *my lecturing*..which put her at ease..and mashallah..she started praying too..though sometimes she misses prayers because she has chronic shoulder pains which get her feeling very ill and at times even sleepless..but mashallah she still came a looong way from before (when she didn't pray at all)..and at least my problem with her *now* is getting her to be *regular* in prayer (please make dua'a for her sister!)

Now..in dua'a..and action..I am aiming towards getting my father..and my two other brothers to realize the importance of their deen..and their salat..through similar methods..and inshallah I will be successful!

And I know this will end up being *very lengthy*..and I apologize for that ukhti..but I wanted to share personal experiences with you so you'd get a few ideas to implement on your own..AND..so you'd get encouragement as you venture into doing this..because wallahi ukhti..we *need* efforts like yours..sobhanallah..many people set out ot make da'awa to non-Muslims and disregard the *ignorance* and *deviance* of their *brethern!*..and surely unless we *better ourselves* we won't move ahead much..and surely if we want our revert brothers and sisters to be firm in their deen..we need to make our brothers..sisters..parents..cousins..and Muslim friends be the good Muslims Allah (swt) Commands us to be!

May Allah Bless you..make your path easy..and grant you the reward of every accomplishment you may make..ameen!

 

[dilek]

Tabassum07,BrotherInIslam7 and a_muslimah86 thank you very much for your all sincere replies. I read each one carefully..

Special thanks for you ya sister a_muslimah86 for sharing your experience with your family, you are right all about what you said; we should correct ourselves first.. inshaallah I ll do my best and I ll never give up, I ll pray for them in my each pray. Inshaallah Allah helps and makes their heart to see the truth.

 

[Ciiihan]

sister;
my situation is the same , in my opinion the problem of muslims is the same , and they know what they should do but they dont ,because it is getting hard to them and you know all of us are tested, and as you said we should be correct ourselves and im saying that all of our worship must be for ALLAH and you know this behaviour affect people.

sister,meanwhile im teacher too, as a conclusion i have to say that , but you know that sometimes we cant change somethings just because we want.

esselamu aleikum

 

[mezeren]

:salam2:

Sister,i don't belive that advising people to perform their prayers would work for most of the time.When it works,as you say,it would be temporary.The problem,i think, is about education.Since we are both from Turkey and you are a teacher,i am sure you know better what is taught at schools.it is not islam for sureThe whole secular system as well,with its means of comminications ,tv's,papers,internet,etc are bombarding our youth with kufr ideas.Thus,the solution lies in education.

i think that if one doesn't know something he/she can not believe in it and if one doesn't believe in something trully he/she does not act on it .The problem is we don't know our religion,i mean we don't know what is in the Quran,we don't know the life of Hz. Muhammed(s.a.s.),we don't know the beuty of our religion.We know we should perform daily prayers,fast in ramadan,etc. but do not know why.We know how to read surah al-Fatiha but we do not know its meaning.We take our religion for granted as born muslims.i myself didn't perform salat until i graduated from university unfortunately.Before uni i was like on and off it but during uni i left daily prayers complately.When i graduated i started to read some tafsir and the life of our Beloved Prophet(s.a.s) and i started to fall in love with islam and its massanger.The more we learn our religion the more we love it because islam is the truth.

Here is my solution to your problem;arrange small meetings with your friends or relatives where you can do quran and hadith lessons or give them books that teaches islam and the life of the Prophet(s.a.s.).i personally try to do the latter.i made a habbit of giving a biography of the Prophet(s.a.s.) as a gift to newly married couples when i first visit them since last year.

Take care.

 

[dilek]

Thanks a lot brothers .. you've summarised the problem very well.. and really I appreciate your advices, I ll try for the best inshaallah..

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

:salam2:

Sister Dilek, Cok Sagol for starting this thread. I think everyone's contribution in this thread has made us learn something about getting the message across to elders.

And I have heard many people of knowledge talk about ideas similar to the ones sister a_muslimah86 has provided is her post.

Elders would probably dismiss us if we try to be too preachy with them. But finding out what interests them and then somehow getting it to them seems like a great idea. We need to really put to use the new technology that we have at our disposal like Youtube, Forwarding interesting emails, ebooks etc etc.

There are some really entertaining lectures by Imam Siraj Wahaj that people actually like watching and eventually get hooked on it before you know it.
Such entertaining yet relevant videos could do the trick.

Like to thank sister Dilek again for her thread. I have learned a lot here.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

:salam2:

SNIP

Though the reply was meant for sister Dilek, I would like to thank you for those personal stories. Especially the one with your mothers. Those kind of stories usually makes me smile and feel fuzzy.

Jazakallah

Now..in dua'a..and action..I am aiming towards getting my father..and my two other brothers to realize the importance of their deen..and their salat..through similar methods..and inshallah I will be successful!

May Allah swt put barakah in your words and actions and guide all of your family with what pleases Allah's majesty. Ameen

May Allah Bless you..make your path easy..and grant you the reward of every accomplishment you may make..ameen!

Ameen.

 

[a_muslimah86]

Though the reply was meant for sister Dilek, I would like to thank you for those personal stories. Especially the one with your mothers. Those kind of stories usually makes me smile and feel fuzzy.

Jazakallah




May Allah swt put barakah in your words and actions and guide all of your family with what pleases Allah's majesty. Ameen



Ameen.

Baraka Allaho feek wa radha 'anka wa 'ardhak akhi..inshallah stories of guidance become a norm amongst our ummah..so we may all smile and feel the rapture of Allah's Pleasure upon us..and Ameen to your dua'a akhi!

 

[dilek]

Again thanks for sharing ideas, and sevgili kardeşim BrotherInIslam7 is right we learnt great ways all together and inshaallah we ll put them in action..

 

[xSharingan01x]

:salam2:

Sister a_muslimah and Nazeen gave some wonderful insight to what we can do to bring our friends and family to start practicing again.
I wholeheartedly agree with the approach you guys are suggesting.

Speaking from my experience, it simply doesn't work that well if we start lecturing and quoting things here and there.Taking it very gradually may produce better result. Like Sister a_muslimah suggested, you should find out how can approach the person, not everyone shares the same interest or can be approached the same way.
If a friend of mine enjoys reading book I would give him some Islamic literature, however if he enjoys socializing and doing activities I would take him to the Masjid and introduce him to some brothers. This way they will naturally develop their interest and curiosity toward Islam without us having to shove it down their throat.

About a year and a half ago I met a Morrocan brother at the coffee shop I used to work at. After finding out that he is Muslim we quickly became good friends, however this brother didn't really pray aside from Jumah. I noticed he didn't really have many friends here nor was he familiar with the locality, so I slowly and surely dragged him along to the Masjid and introduced him to some brothers. Alhamdulilah he is been constant with Salah, going to the masjid as much as he can and he even did all 10 nights of Qiyam with us.


sorry for the lengthy post ;/

 

[dilek]

Thank you very much ya brother... you are right we should know the person first then we can develop a strategy to give the idea. I learnt many things from this thread.. again thanks for all to sharing your ideas and giving me a piece of light from your knowledge