Give me sabr!

[DanyalSAC]

Asalaamu alaikum -

I've now been Muslim for 1 year and 1 week... and I find the one thing I am struggling with is patience. I get impatient with things I can't change. I get impatient while driving. I get impatient dealing with people who are stubborn. I get impatient with lots of things.

Tell me my brothers & sisters in Islam - how do you learn patience?

jazakAllah khairn

D.

 

[Living Soul]

:salam2:

Brother I would advice you to recite " Ya Saabe ro" As it is the name of Allah SWT and it means the most Patient one. I hope it will help you to become Patient inshAllah.

Remember me in your prayers.

:tti_sister:

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Asalaamu alaikum -

I've now been Muslim for 1 year and 1 week... and I find the one thing I am struggling with is patience. I get impatient with things I can't change. I get impatient while driving. I get impatient dealing with people who are stubborn. I get impatient with lots of things.

Tell me my brothers & sisters in Islam - how do you learn patience?

jazakAllah khairn

D.

Walaykumsalaam dear brother,

Patience can't be acquired over night so anyone trying to have more sabr should have a strong resolve and have a will to persevere.

I would suggest, to ponder over things that you have done in haste and then think about how much better it would have been if one had exercised some patience over the matter.

While driving, you could question yourself "Am I really going to save a lot of time by being hasteful ?".. You will barely reach your destination maybe 2-3 minutes earlier at the most, so is it worth it ?

So you can perhaps, speak with your inner self and try to reason that there is no benefit of haste in that matter, whatever it maybe.

Also, reading books that discuss benefit of patience might help you. Some beautiful hadeeth and verses of Quran will also make your heart long to be more patient Insha'Allah.

I posted this hadeeth on TTI, the other day.

“Victory comes with patience, and relief comes with anguish, and with hardship comes ease.”

Sahih Al Jami # 6806

And from the Quran, Surah Al Asr

103:1 By time,

103:2 Indeed, mankind is in loss

103:3 Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

May Allah swt grant us all sabr. Ameen

Wasalaamalaikum waa rahmatullahi

 

[hana*]

:salam2:

I understand where you are coming from, I think most people go through this from time to time (I get impatient when the person in from of me is driving at 20 mph on a 30mph road). anyway I think the best advice is that of what the Prophet peace be upon him gave us: when we are feeling angry/impatient we should:

1.do wudu as anger comes from shaytan and shaytan is created from fire and wudu extinguishes this fires
2. seek refuge from Allah from shaytan
3. if we feel angry/impatient whilst standing we should sit, if we were sitting, we should lie down (depending on what you are doing)- this is also medically proven now

I believe taking a deep breath, taking a step back and having a glass of water help too.

Also when we feel impatient, we should remember how patient Prophet Ayyub was when he lost his two sons and said 'sabran jameel' (patience is most beautiful) and how patient our Prophet peace be upon him was at all times..

 

[DanyalSAC]

Thank you but by impatient I don't mean to imply that I'm trying to get somewhere in haste - I mean that I am not patient with other drivers. Someone pulls in front of me and does half the speed limit, or the person who rides my tail so close I can't see his headlights.

Or, here's an example: On November 8th I ordered some thobes from an online source. The money came out of my account on Nov 13. On Dec. 12 I sent an email to the company asking where my thobes were. Yesterday I got a reply saying "they were mailed out on Dec 8". I was livid! I wrote back asking why it took them a month to send out something their website had in stock.

Well, this morning the reply I got back was FAR from polite. I was stunned. I was also torn between two responses. One, to lash out as an angry consumer & let them know I will never shop at their site again. Or two, the patient Muslim dealing with his Muslim brother who evidently has no compunction treating another Muslim poorly, without remorse.

My brothers at the masjid when I get angry at this always say "Patience! Sabr, akhi!" Well Patience is not my strong point. I want to YELL at someone!!!!

Now you see my point?

 

[sonofislam]

3 steps that is what you need.

Asalaamu alaikum -

I've now been Muslim for 1 year and 1 week... and I find the one thing I am struggling with is patience. I get impatient with things I can't change. I get impatient while driving. I get impatient dealing with people who are stubborn. I get impatient with lots of things.

Tell me my brothers & sisters in Islam - how do you learn patience?

jazakAllah khairn

D.

what you need is first to realize that you are going to get impatient, as soon as you figure that out you go to the second step which is to take a deep breath and the third step is to ask your self what can i do in this situation if there is no answer which most time will be the case. start yelling after a week practicing these 3 steps u will get bored of yelling and have more control in your emotions.
and don't forget to let me know the result.

Salamu allykum.

 

[hana*]

lol, thats exactly how i feel when someone drives slowly in front of me or tail-ends me- I lose patinence -but then i think whats the point, what does this impatience achieve? ...
i think in our society, it is very easy for us to lose our patience, because, as a fast moving society, we are used to obtaining things quickly and easily. what helped me become more patient is when i went to a muslim country and saw with my own eyes what true patience was. for example, to get any legal documents done, you could be sent back and forth like a headless chicken and the desk attendents make you feel worthless, you could be doing this for hours whilst here, all you would do is fill out a form and post it- takes 2 mins! i saw how patient people really are..

as for ordering the thobes, yeah it is youre right to kick up a fuss, but, as you said, you can set an example of a true Muslim by not doing so and think of the ajir (reward) that you receive. and remember how many times Allah has mentioned the word patience in the Quran, and how He says 'and Allah is with the sabireen' or 'Allah loves the sabireen'..

I agree with what the previous post mentioned, this is a learned trait, and we are all learners. the mere fact that you have noticed this in yourself is the first step to rectifying oneself

May Allah give us all sabr ameen