JAZAKALLAH everyone. your answers cleared many things. well,i really need to help a friend of mine. his parents are making him married to someone of their choice pressurizing him emotionally. ALHAMDULILLAH i found many QURAN references and AHADEES which tell what does our religion say about the marriage and how much the consent is important in this regard. plz guide me what could be the best way to make his parents understand what is right according to our religion? how can the message be conveyed to them effectively?
help needed Re: Forced Marriage
- Thread starter Zahwa
- Start date
:salam2:
Yes it is haram for anyone to be forced to marry someone. Such marriage is also not valid.
If the parents cared about following the Quran and Sunnah from the first place, this would not have been an issue. I dont think it is likely they will listen, as most "cultural" parents in these cases simply ignore whatever evidences are given to them.
What you could do is have them speak to an Imam who can advise them.
Otherwise, he just has to have patience. As a man, he can marry a girl without the permission of his parents, although obviously it is important tht they are happy too.
For a girl in such situation, it is slightly different.
The Prophet Muhammad
said> “Any woman who gets married without the consent of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1102, and by Abu Dawood, Ahmad and Ibn Maajah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2709).If she is being forced to marry someone, then she has to seek advice for her individual case from a good Muslim scholar who follows Quran and Sunnah. - She should not rush into marrying anyone who her parents dislike either.
People should take their time in such matters.
Umm Ismael
Junior Member
Asselemou Alaikum,
I had a friend who was faced to the same problem but alhamduli Allah, she overcomes it now. Any parents would see their children feeling happy, so please tell to your friend to calm down and speak to his parents very calmly and make them feel that it will make his sorrow if he marry someone without feelings.. May Allah help him.
I had a friend who was faced to the same problem but alhamduli Allah, she overcomes it now. Any parents would see their children feeling happy, so please tell to your friend to calm down and speak to his parents very calmly and make them feel that it will make his sorrow if he marry someone without feelings.. May Allah help him.
hafsa67
New Member
A forced marriage is valid but it is unislamic, if the nikah is done it is still a valid marriage, i would like to clear that up, lets also not forget that we should have friends of different genders!! i noticed you are female and asking for your male friend??? thirdly there are situations where the wali or guardian of a female does not have her best interests at heart therefore forego's his right as a wali, a muslim girl has the right to consent and to feel happy to marry a man she doesn't necessarily need someone i.e a scholar to tell her what her own feelings are regarding her worrys on the suitability of a potential spouse for example, my uncle wanted me to marry a very handsome man, but he took bad company and takes drugs, he also wanted to make money from the marriage, obviously allah has given me common sense and a scholars advice on this particular man's suitability is not really required.
A forced marriage is invalid. There is no such thing in shari'ah as "valid but unIslamic". The only time it could possibly be valid is if a woman was to accept it later.
The following is taken from IslamQA.
It is haraam for the guardian (wali) of the woman to force her to marry someone she does not want and does not like, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission has been sought.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6968; Muslim, 1419.
The apparent meaning is that this is general and applies to every virgin and every guardian; there is no difference between a father or any other guardian, hence al-Bukhaari interpreted the hadeeth by saying: “Chapter: The father or other guardian should not give a virgin or previously married woman in marriage except with their consent.”
The woman’s guardian has to fear Allah with regard to his daughters and not give them in marriage to anyone except those with whom they are pleased from among men who are compatible and suitable. The guardian should only give her in marriage for her interests, not for his own.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: With regard to giving her in marriage when she is reluctant, this is contrary to the basic principles and common sense. Moreover Allah did not allow her guardian to force her into buying or renting without her permission, or to eat or drink or wear something that she does not want, so how can he force her into sleeping with and living with someone she does not want to sleep with, and living with someone she does not want to live with.
Allah wants love and compassion between the spouses, and how can that be attained when she hates him and does not like him? What kind of love and compassion can there be in that case?!
End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 32/25
Secondly:
If the marriage contract has been done even though she was reluctant, then this marriage contract depends on the woman’s decision. If she accepts it, then it becomes a valid marriage contract, and if she does not then it is an invalid contract.
It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that.
Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1874. It was classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri in Masaabeeh az-Zujaajah, 2/102. Similarly Shaykh Muqbil al-Waadi‘i stated: (It is) saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim. End quote fromas-Saheeh al-Musnad, p. 160
In the event that the woman does not accept this marriage, then it is invalid and she has to tell the one who did this marriage contract with her about that. He does not have the right to force her to engage in intercourse and intimacy, and she does not have the right to allow him to do that so long as she does not accept this marriage.
Although the ruling on this marriage is that it is invalid, this ruling cannot be proven or established unless the man divorces her by talaaq or the court issues a ruling to that effect, because of the difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the validity of such a marriage; many scholars regard this marriage as permissible.
Based on that, you have to refer the matter to the Islamic judge (qaadi) to pass a verdict that this marriage is annulled.