Welcome Murra. May ALLAH make the truth be apparent to your heart and mind. Ameen.
You can ask all you want, and ask what bothers you, seek the truth sincerely...and do it for the sake of knowing the truth and that only. Remember that it is truth that prevails at the end...
Can I know a bit about you please? Like where you come from, what do you do, what religion do your parents follow..etc.
And about me..I am Sohaib, 21 years old. Just graduated and I have just started my first job Alhumdulillah. And remember, it is the deeds that make the person big or small, not the age or anything else. And remember, without the right belief, the good deeds' benefit are restricted to before death (temporary period) only. ALLAH KNOWS BEST.
Take care!