How can I help them???

[Asja]

Assalamu Allaicum dear sisters and brothers.

Few month ago in our neighbourhood come one women together with two litlle children and they are Muslims. This sister seemed like very nice, good and practising Muslimah Mashallah,and she would always call saalam to me and my family. She said that her husband died but in real nobody does not know where he is!!!
We were taking togther about Islaam as she said that she has finished Islamic eduaction. Recently some neighboures notices that she is comeing back very late at her home,dressing procative clothes with two or three man who are backing her home in thier car AstagfirulAllah.:astag: In our neighbourhood are living very good Muslims and respectable people who are not get used on such a things. We all are shocked because of this kind of hypocrisy in Islaam as we thought that this sister is good and practising Muslimah as she was pretending to be. By day she is dressing modestly,but when it comes night she is dressing very provocative and going out with diffrente man.
We are afraid because some neighboures said that she is geting back with suspicous persones. As she is paying the rant for her home we are thinking to ask her that she leaves our neighbourhood.

SubhanAllah this sister seemed to me always suspicous because on the night she would always turn the lights of her home which I could see from my room.Now I realised that she was turning the lights on when she was going out so that her children do not be afraid. Wa la hawla wa la kuwata illabillah Azeem!!!


Her children are suffering now the most because other children do not want to play with them anymore and telling them bad things about their mother.Once her son asked me "Are you Muslim":I smiled to him and answer with "Yes,I am Muslim Alhadmulilah."He told me that he is Muslim too with so much proud in his voice,so that now I am the most sad for her children. He told me that he is always going in mosque on prayer MashAllah,and he is only 8-9 years old.. . I always play with them and they love me a loot. They are always bringing me some presents like roses or sweets and calling me to play with them although I can not always because I am busy etc. Wallahi they are so adorable children and I am sad the most for them. I do not know how to help them???

She told me that she send her younger son in Austria to her relatives.He is only 4 years old and almost a baby. I think she should not do that niether because he is almost a baby and he will be seperated from his mother. I do not know what to do dear brothers and sisters??? Should I advice her?

I am much younger than her and I do not know will she accept my good advices. WAllahi I would like to advice her for the sake of Allah,and I pray that Allah subhan we teal will guide very soon our sister and that she will get back again to Allah and Islaam.

To be honest I do not like when people are having duble faces and do duble actions,especily in Islaam,and when adults are not good examples for us youth. May Allah protect us all from hypocrise,especaily hypocrise in Islaam.

May Allah bless you all

 

[a_muslimah86]

I don't know how things work where you live..but I remember in my country..we had a system..where every one or two neighborhoods had a man designated through voting to take care of the affairs of the people living in them (normally he would be a government official or an Imam as well)...if the neighbors have a problem of the sort you mentioned or one that is less significant even..but they need an authoritive third party to resolve them..they would go to him and he would take action on behalf of everyone in the neighborhood after investigations and consultations

Do you have a system like this?

If you don't...then the Imam of the neighborhood's masjid should be spoken to in regards to this problem..because then he will go about things in an Islamic manner

BUT

Ukhti don't bear a sin by talking of her or even allowing the idle talk of other neighbors get to you *emotionally*...even if *she is* wrongful..sobhanallah..she could be in need (financially) and she's doing this as a last resort to support her children and she *hates it* but does it out *need*..and perhaps she's in-fact misguided and all she needs is someone willing to be there for her and put her back on the right track by being patient..kind..and understanding...also..and this can be ligit as well..*the whole* thing can be a misunderstanding on the neighbors' part..sobhanallah..a lot of times we see things and assume them to be something but they turn out to be otherwise..so an investigation of the things you mentioned needs to take place (preferably by the representitaive of the neighborhood if you have one..or the Imam of the masjid if he will be asked to take charge)..and those who feel they may go overboard with their judgments may need to stay out of the issue until it is resolved by those in better control of their judgment and temperament even

Many times women like the woman you're speaking about are IMMEDIATELY put under ex-communication by their community..and HUMENGOUS red flags are attached to them..the unmarried sisters do not even look their way out of fear for their honorable reputations..the married ones do not let these women come near them because they fear their "illicit schemes"..the elderly despise them because they bring so much shame..and the young ones fear them because their parents warn of them so much...when many times all that is needed is getting to the bottom or to the source of the problem and eradicating it..and when kindness and advice are extended to them..many times they will leave their deviated ways and become the best of beings..so sister..find those willing to be kind and willing to advice with patience...perhaps Allah (swt) Has Willed guidance for her..and you will earn the ajer of her repentance..if she persists with her faults after all attempts are exhausted..then those put in charge of solving the problem will do what they see fit for her and the neighborhood and she cannot say *they oppressed me* then

 

[safiya58]

:salam2:

to my mind has come a very nice storry with many lectures to be learned. even it is an old post it is worth reading:

The Shaykh and the Prostitute

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47788

 

[Asja]

Wa allaicum saalam

May Allah reword you dear sisters Muslimah and Safiya for your usefull replys.

We have Imam and mosque in our neighbourhood but usually Imam is not talking with Muslims outside of mosques,so I do not think it will be possible that our Imam advice our sister in Islaam.
She has decent jobs Alhamdulilah as she said that she finished two Univerzites,and even Islamic studies too MashAllah,so she is not doing that for any financial need. But still she is doing wrong for dressing provocative clothes and going out with man Astagfirullah.
I know that maybe people can miunderstood things sister but I think it is truth. We all thought she is good and practising Muslimah,and now she is doing bad to herselfe and to her children. She should stop going out with man and dress on that way.

I wish to help her and advice her but I really do not know how.??? I feel uncomfortable becasue maybe she would not listen to me. She is very knowledgable about Islaam but maybe she has been mislead and misguided from someone so she went away from Allah. Waallahi I feel sorry for her and her children. I think those should do elders and older Muslim ladys,becasue it is responsabily of all of us to advice our Muslim brothers and sisters on the best way we can,especaily in these cases. But nobody is doing nothing to advice our sister in Islaam,except to talk behind her back.

I hope InshAllah,Allah Almighty will guide her soon on the right way.

 

[revert2007]

i personally think that u should visit her at her house .bring some gifts for her and children if possible.be closer to her an dbe her friend.when she trust u start talking about islam and how ur life is blessed with Allah's gift.take her to the mosque.invite her to ur house for dinner and let that me the time that she suppose to go out.

if she starts giving excuses that she can't make it at night,then there is something fishy.

u must advice her and tell her any story such as Rabiatul or any story that u know and can relate to her situation(i hope u got what i mean)

just make her feel guilty on what she is doing and make feel she is not on the right path and she should change for her sake and her kids' sake.

 

[ahmed_indian]

some women of weak faith fall into sin due to financial needs.

i think u can talk to her and advice her in private about Allah's mercy and anger, life's purpose and Hereafter. if possible, tell ur imam to talk to her gently about her attitude and maybe some of her friend.

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

May be the coming Ramadan is a good apportuinty : invite her to go to Musged , give her a book May Allah open hearts of muslems and accept our repentence.:tti_sister:

 

[Asja]

Assalamu Allaicum wa raahmatullah wa baarkatuhu

BarrakAllah feekum and thank you a loot dear brothers and sisters for your beautiful and usefull advices. I hope Inshallah Allah will give me a chance to help our sister in Islaam and advice her. She is young women and almost the same ages like my mum,so because I am too much younger than her I do not know how she will accept my advices.:shymuslima1:
I have decided InshAllah to wait for Raamadthan when I will go to her home and talk with her. MashAllah she loves to talk about Islaam,so I will only talk with her like usuall,and mention her honuer of Muslim women that Allah has reword us,and make her think about hereafter,Allahs punishment and the most importante that what she is doing is wrong. May Allah guide her.

Jazzak Allah khairen

May Allah reword you all